by Eve Newton
He turns to face me and leans closer. “As much as I want to give you everything your heart desires, my sweet, that is not going to happen. I am going to take you my way, again and again until you are begging me for mercy.”
“And will you give it?” I ask against his lips.
“Never,” he says before he plunges his tongue into my mouth in a kiss so heated it warms me from the inside out.
He lets me go and I am struggling to breathe as he says, “I told you I would do that with you.”
“Do what?” I ask, almost salivating at his closeness.
“Help you feed that way,” he says, but I can tell he isn’t very pleased about it.
“I know you find it uncomfortable,” I say with a slight purse to my lips. “You don’t have to do it.”
“Aefre, if that is what you need, I will give it to you. You don’t need to go looking elsewhere.”
And there it is. The whole problem with this is that he only wants to do it because he is jealous. Not because it makes me happy. Pure and honest? No, I have a far way to go before I get that from anybody.
“Hm,” I say noncommittally, and he huffs at me but says no more on the subject.
“Have you spoken to Cole yet?” he changes the subject abruptly again, as he does.
“No. I am avoiding him,” I say insolently.
He snickers. “Don’t, my sweet. You know you have to face the music.”
“Yes, your music that you decided to compose, sans moi.”
“Oh no. You don’t get to shove that on me. You knew how he was feeling, and you ignored it.”
“Whatever,” I grouse. “I am not fighting about this with you.”
“Don’t then. Just go and speak to your charge.”
To my charge, not my husband. Ergh, he is such an infuriating creature sometimes.
“Fine. I will,” I say, as I stand, and he rolls his eyes at me and my attitude.
“Honestly, Aefre, sometimes you really do act your human age.”
“Oh? And you find fault with that?”
“Sometimes it surprises me that the Queen of The Underworld chooses to act like a teenager instead of the thousand-year-old Vampire that she is,” he says, standing as well to face me.
“Well, maybe it is because I never got to be a teenager,” I say hotly and then regret it. “I don’t mean that in a way to disregard you,” I say quickly. “But I see how carefree they are nowadays, and I never had that. Not even after you freed me from that monstrous life. I always had to live up to something far beyond my paltry years.”
“No, you didn’t. It was my fault that made you think that, and I am sorry. I demanded too much of you, too quickly. I know that now. If I could take it back, I would.”
“Fine but let me have a tantrum every now and again,” I say with small smile.
“As you wish but go and speak to Cole. His anxiety is driving me crazy from here. I don’t know how you can ignore it.”
“I’m not ignoring it,” I say, insulted. “I am trying to decide what to say to him.”
“It’s easy,” he says. “You apologize to him for being a neglectful sire and that what he did was normal and not wrong and then you kiss and make up.” He frowns. “Well, actually, scrap that last part. I don’t want to think of you doing that.”
My sorrowful expression catches him off guard. “What? Neglectful? You think I have been neglectful?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says carefully. “You ignored his desire and rejected his ask for help.”
The tears well up and I can’t stop them from tumbling down my cheeks as I stand there feeling terrible, as all he says is true.
“Aefre, don’t cry about it. Just go and fix it,” he says gently, putting his arms around me and holding me close. “I don’t like to see you so upset over something I can’t mend for you. You being a neglectful sire is turning me into a helpless one,” he says with a smile to his lips and I snuffle as I look up at him with a half-hearted laugh.
“Well, I wouldn’t want that,” I say. “I know how you hate being helpless. I will go and apologize to him.” I step back from him and he nods briskly.
“But no kissing and making up,” he growls at me and I chuckle as I head back into the house.
“Thank you,” I say softly over my shoulder. It doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t reply, knowing how torn up inside he is wanting the rift between me and Cole, but also knowing he must do everything he can to fix it.
I find Cole on the balcony to our bedroom, overlooking the garden towards the woods. It also happens to overlook the spot where I had been sitting on the wall. How long has he been there? I don’t mind if he saw me with Devon or CK, even, but Sebastian and I shared something private. If he ever caught wind of what I might be and what I am going to do, he will leave me. I know that now without a doubt.
“Hey,” I say as he continues to stare out at the woods.
“Hey,” he says back, not turning around.
I sit next to him and take his hand. He lets me, but I sense his reluctance.
“Cole, I am sorry. I have been a terrible sire to you and a terrible wife. I should have been more attentive and taken your desires seriously and I shouldn’t have made you feel bad about it. Can you forgive me?”
He turns to me then with a look of surprise. “You are apologizing to me? I should be apologizing to you. I let you down. I gave in to my desires and I shouldn’t have.”
“Yes, you should have. You shouldn’t have had to hold on to them in the first place. It is my fault for forcing my ‘piety,’” I use Devon’s word with sarcastic air quotes, “on to you.”
He snorts in amusement. “I can think of a million adjectives for you but pious is not one of them.”
I smile gently and feel that damn prickle over the top of shoulder again. I rub it absently and ask, “Am I forgiven?”
“There is nothing to forgive,” he says, now squeezing my hand tightly.
“Cole, there is something I think we need to discuss though,” I say seriously, and he sighs.
“I know what you are going to ask and yes, I am fine with what happened.”
“Fine?” I ask with a frown.
“They were sent here to hurt you, us. That makes it fine in my book.”
“Cole.”
“Liv, don’t make a big deal out of it. If I felt bad or guilty or whatever, not only would you be able to pick up on it, I would tell you.”
Well, that is true, I suppose but… “You killed, Cole. Not once, but twice. That changes a person.”
“Just once,” he says.
“What?” I ask, now confused.
“I killed just the one. I drained the other one, but it was your sire who killed him. I didn’t know you could drink from a dead person.”
Huh, knowing CK’s tactics as I do, I can imagine a swift snap to the neck before he passed him onto Cole, incapacitating the second one with his claws while going after the third with his fangs, leaving Sebastian and Devon to handle the other two. A skilled and graceful killer, my sire.
“As long as the kill is fresh,” I mutter and then shake my head as we are getting off topic.
“I think he gave that first one to me to get me used to the draining,” he muses. “Who knew he cared?” he sneers.
That doesn’t sound like my sire, he is a firm believer in just getting on with it, but maybe he took it easy with Cole as I wasn’t there to guide him.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I should have been there.”
“Stop it,” he chides me. “I will try to do better next time.”
“No, you don’t have to do that, Cole. You should be who you want to be. Not who I am trying to be. It’s your decision.”
“It’s our decision,” he says with meaning before he kisses me.
“Very well,” I say and as far as I am concerned then, case closed.
He sighs as he senses the closure and changes the subject. “I want to live here. Can we? After the movie is finish
ed, instead of going back to L.A., can we come back here?”
“Here? You like it here?” I ask in surprise.
“I love it here. It’s gorgeous. So peaceful. We could just be, here.”
“If that’s what you want. We can live here before we have to move on.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” he says.
“We’ll just have to run it past everyone first, though, make sure they are on board.”
“Fuck’s sake,” he mutters. “Just once I would like a decision to be just ours. We can’t even fucking decide where to live without everyone else agreeing to it. Does it have to be that way?”
“You know that it does,” I say patiently.
“No, what I know is that I don’t want anybody else included in this decision,” he says, standing up. “I don’t give a rat’s ass if they stay or go, but you will tell them we are coming back here to live and that’s final. There will be no agreeing to anything.”
I stand as well and face him square on, about to put up a fight about equality and all that, when it strikes me. He is right. “You know, you are absolutely bloody right. We are married and we get to decide where we want to live and to Hell with everyone else. I am their Queen and if I tell them to stay, then they have to stay.” I am triumphant in my decree but his shoulders sag.
“Not quite what I was going for, Liv. I don’t want you to tell them anything other than we are staying. What they do is up to them.”
I think that over. No, it won’t do. I can’t have them all running around the globe without me, looking for trouble. We are all going to stay together. I open my mouth to say that when he beats me to it.
“You don’t have to look so concerned, it’s not like any of them will argue with you. Devon will want to be wherever you are, Jess will be wherever he is, Constantine won’t leave your side and Sebastian won’t leave his. Lincoln needs you so he won’t be going anywhere and Xane has a crazy fixation with you that, quite frankly, makes me uncomfortable, so he probably won’t leave either.”
Well, when you put it like that…but oh, crap, that does throw a rather large spanner in the Pack works. I chew my lip and give Cole what he wants, trying to figure out a way to also give Lincoln what he wants.
“Thank you,” he says and kisses me lightly as my brain is working furiously to come up with a plan. “I’m sorry, I got mad. Sometimes it still creeps up on me that it’s all of us, not just you and me.”
“No worries,” I say, distracted by something I can see over by the woods. I step closer to the railing and squint, trying to get a better look in the almost dark.
“What is it?” Cole asks, looking where I am.
“I don’t know. I feel like we are being watched. There is someone out there.” I Astral off without thinking, just determined to find out who this creep is that keeps peeping on me. I land on the outskirts of the woods alone and I look around, catching a glimpse of Cole leaping off the balcony and landing gently on the terrace below before he sprints in my direction. “Liv!” he shouts. “Liv!”
His cries get the attention of everyone else, who swarm out of the house almost instantly. I roll my eyes at them and turn back to the woods, hands on my hips. The prickling in my shoulder starts up again and it feels like a hundred bees attacking me. I scratch at it fiercely, drawing blood.
“Don’t ever fucking do that again,” Cole snaps at me as he reaches my side. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“What is it? What is going on?” Devon asks.
“Liv and I were talking on the balcony and she said she thought someone was watching us and then she just Astralled down here, without a word or a thought for her own safety,” Cole says as if I am an irresponsible little child.
“Sweetie, I am more than capable of taking care of myself,” I assure him. “Besides, there is no one here. They left as soon as I turned up.”
“Can you get a feel of what it was?” Xane asks, stepping up next to me, staring into the woods.
What, not who? Interesting choice of word.
“No. Should I be able to?”
“Don’t see why not. Try.” He shrugs.
I do try, but sense nothing. “Nothing at all. Well, I can sense all of us and even the animals, but nothing out of the ordinary. Whatever it was, it’s gone.”
“Was it The Thirteen?” Lincoln asks.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. I mean he hasn’t been shy about sneaking up right next to me, why would he watch me from afar?”
“Do you think that whatever it is, is the same thing that was watching you when you were at…, um, in Italy the other week?” Cole asks, clearly not happy to use the castle name.
That gets CK’s attention, who had up until now been scanning the woods like his eyes were some sort of laser. “You felt you were being watched?” he asks.
Cole looks smug that I had mentioned it to him and not CK.
“Yes, when we were outside…walking,” I say with a slight pause, “I felt we were being watched from the terrace. That rise in Power I had? It came from that. I thought it was The Thirteen at the time, but I don’t think so now.”
CK looks smug now as he knows we were not walking when that rise of Power came up, in fact we weren’t even upright at the time. “Interesting,” he muses. “A new player?”
“Another creep you mean,” I grouse. “Let’s go back inside, it clearly isn’t here anymore.”
We all turn to go back inside except Lincoln, who grabs my hand and says, “I’ll stay out for a bit. I could do with a run.”
“Okay,” I say easily but know that a large part of his reason for staying out is so that he can roam the woods and scare off any potential stalkers. CK sees through this as well as he nods approvingly but then stops when I catch his eye. “I’ll see you later.” He bends down to give me a swift kiss on the forehead and I mumble, “Take care.” He looks busted but then just shrugs it off and heads into the woods.
Chapter 18
Cole and I disappear back upstairs as soon as we get inside and he makes love to me slowly, I think in response to our quarrel earlier. He takes his time with me and I fall asleep feeling very loved.
In the dream, I am running. Well, no, more like gliding, my feet skimming across the ground as I pursue a woman who is running for her life, screaming as she looks back at me and stumbles. I let her fall to the ground and stand over her, my long white dress drifting ghostly around me as my hair floats up in the magickal wind.
I smile a predatory smile at her and she screams again as I drop my fangs. I lean over her and take her arms in my hands, bringing her neck closer to my mouth. All I can hear is her screaming as I pierce her soft skin and drink. I keep drinking until the screaming stops and her head lolls back and she goes limp like a rag doll. I let her go and she slumps to the wet ground, the rain lashing down now soaking her dead body as I wipe my mouth delicately and walk away.
I awake at 4 AM drenched in sweat, my heart pounding from the nightmare but at the same time the urge to Hunt and kill washes over me. I swallow and slow my breathing. I am feeling stifled. Cole’s arm is draped over me, pinning me to the bed and something heavy is lying on my feet.
I remove Cole’s arm gently and lift my head. The sight at the foot of the bed makes me smile, and I instantly feel better about the nightmare I just had. Lincoln, in Wolf form, is curled up fast asleep on my feet. I like the feeling of safety his presence brings. Tonight, is the full moon and he will probably stay this way now until dawn tomorrow. Not out of necessity, but out of choice. He is less likely to rip someone to pieces if he is in the form he is supposed to be in today. I carefully pull my feet out from under him and wiggle them to get them working again. I slip out of bed and out onto the balcony to look out over the dark, misty grounds towards the woods. I don’t expect to see anything and am not surprised when I don’t. I turn and smile as I feel Cole drape my robe over my shoulders.
“Do you mind if I stay in the city tomorrow and Wednesday?”
he asks.
“Of course not. Why though?”
“I don’t feel right staying here without you,” he says.
“It’s your home too, you know,” I remind him.
“I know, it’s not that. Being here in this bed alone will just be a reminder that you are with him and not with me.”
I nod in understanding and feel a pang of guilt for the secret I am covering up.
“Have you spoken to Devon?” I ask to change the subject.
“Yep. Are you going to be okay?”
I turn sharply to him. “I’m fine. He said this changes nothing between us.”
Cole nods but says, “Liv, he won’t leave you again. You don’t have to be worried about that.”
“I’m not. I already told him he couldn’t. I don’t want you to leave me either.”
Startled by my vehemence, he says, “I’m not going anywhere. That is something you definitely don’t have to worry about.”
He sounds so sure, but I know differently, and it breaks my heart that if he ever found out (again) he would go and never come back.
“I should go. I have a big scene on the river today.”
“Oh?” I perk up, interested.
“Yeah, spies, boats, and guns! It’s going to awesome,” he says excitedly.
“Well then, don’t let me keep you,” I say with a smile and he kisses me for a few minutes before he reluctantly turns to leave.
I step back into the bedroom to find Lincoln awake but still lying on the bed. He peers at me curiously with his big green Wolf eyes and I know he has heard all of our conversation. While we didn’t say anything intensely private, it bothers me just a little bit that he eavesdropped. I like things with Cole to be separate. As much “just ours” as I can get them, which isn’t very much in this life. I sit next to him and scratch behind his ears and he huffs out a breath and licks my fingers as I rub under his chin. I climb back in bed and snuggle into the pillows as Cole, showered and dressed, kisses me goodbye and with a quick pat to Lincoln, who snaps his teeth at him, albeit in play, he leaves for the city. I stay in bed for a bit longer, having a nice lazy morning on my own. Sort of. I get up and have a long soak in the bath.