by Eve Newton
“Never,” She says to me. “You will not produce a Faerie baby. Do you understand me?”
“I don’t plan on,” I say, a bit miffed that She is dictating to me. “I will go and have this Union with Sebastian, but it ends there.”
She shakes Her head at me. “And how do you propose to tell the Faerie that year after year you are still not pregnant?”
It’s a valid question and one I have been pondering. Honestly, my brain is fried at the moment with all I need to plan.
“I don’t know,” I say, and She hisses at me, as in a proper reptilian hiss and it makes me recoil slightly. “I will think of something,” I add lamely.
She turns from me and starts pacing. “They won’t accept anything other than their desired outcome. You should be aware of that by now. You have seen the lengths they will go to.”
“Look,” I say, and She turns back to me. “I have had a long few days and I am starving and exhausted. Finn, ah, To’Kah,” I amend at Her look, “said something about you doing something to me. If it is just to berate me, consider me berated and let me go home.”
“The berating is just a necessity, ValamAtrux. You are losing your way and I cannot allow it to continue.”
“What is my way exactly? You have given me all of these Powers, all of these different parts to me, and it is confusing. I am supposed to be all Powerful, and yet I get taken out with a binding spell? It makes no sense to me,” I complain.
“Your Powers, my dear, were supposed to be given to you a thousand years ago,” She stops pacing and stands in front of me. “The transfer was supposed to be complete and they were to grow and develop over the centuries, until you were experienced enough to take my place. This is my error, and I will fix it,” She says.
“What do you mean?” I ask, getting a hint of something I’m not sure I’m going to like very much.
“At this point in time, you should be infinitely more Powerful than you are. I should have factored this in, I should have foreseen that it would be a problem. We cannot wait another few hundred years for you to be what you are supposed to be now.”
Huh?
She places Her hand on my chest and pushes me back. I hit the wall and I am terrified now at the look on Her face. She has a burning intensity in Her eyes that freaks me out. “I should have issued this to you in the first place, you weren’t ready, and you aren’t now, but you are strong. I am sure you will survive.” Her hand gets hotter and I feel it burn me as the fear courses through me at Her words. I feel my feet leave the ground and She steps back, but I keep rising, my back scraping against the cave wall. A pure electric current is running between us, hurting my eyes after the dimness in the cave, but I can’t take my eyes off my mother’s. “I am issuing you your full Power, ValamAtrux,” She says as the current ricochets around my body, causing me to spasm and my hair to stand on end. “Your accelerated Powers will be more than a match for any who try to take you down.” Her voice is booming around the cave and I am petrified.
What is She doing to me?
“I will not have my daughter weak!” She screams. The current intensifies and it brings tears to my eyes, which is a bad move because the electricity sparks up on my cheeks as they fall, blinding me momentarily. “I will not have my daughter be bound!” Tiamat’s voice is rising by the second and it is most definitely not natural. It is coming from all around me, I can hear it with my ears, but also inside my head. It’s deafening as She shrieks, “I will not have my daughter be whore to a Fae King!”
On the final word, lightning shoots out of both of Her hands and into me and I have a seizure, in mid-air, which seems to last for eternity. The pain is ripping through me and it feels like it is taking my limbs with it. I convulse one last time before She lets me go and I drop to the cave floor in a quivering, twitching, drooling heap.
Minutes pass, the only sound in the cave is my ragged breathing. It hurts. It feels like my lungs have been scorched and my insides are on fire. My brain has most definitely been fried, and this time I do mean literally. If Ahmed had given me this nine months ago, I probably would have died. No wonder She wanted it to grow and develop naturally over time. This much Power was not meant to be dealt out in one go. Still twitching, but my breathing becoming easier, Tiamat crouches next to me. “You can handle it ValamAtrux,” She murmurs to me as She strokes my back. “Let it settle and then we will balance you.”
I am incapable of speech and even nodding feels like an impossibility. I have enough brain functionality to wonder what this balancing thing is and to know that I want it before I explode into a million pieces. Tiamat continues to stroke my back and when I feel like I can sit up, She helps me.
“To’Kah is not yet ready to take you in. You will use my Guardian this time.” She helps me stand, gripping my hand tightly. “Lo’kar?” She calls out and I look up as an enormous man steps out of the shadows. He is huge, and naked. I fully register Her words and I shrink back against the wall. I don’t know what “take you in” means, but if it involves a lack of clothing, I am out.
“Do not be afraid, daughter,” She says to me. “He will not harm you. He needs to balance your Power. Come.” She tugs on my hand and I meekly follow Her to stand in front of the huge naked man. I stare up into his eyes and see him looking at Tiamat with a fierce love. I look back at Tiamat, and She has the same love in Her eyes for him. Oh, they are lovers, this is so awkward. I cast my eyes down, but that is the wrong thing to do, being that he has no clothes on and is very large in that area, making it hard not to look. My eyes shoot back to his and I see now that he is an older, bigger version of To’Kah. I am guessing father and son. Tiamat takes me by the shoulders and turns me around, so my back is facing Lo’kar. I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to look at him anymore. Finn has joined us and is watching intently as Tiamat steps back. She indicates that I should remove my clothing, but I shake my head. After what happened with Aelfric, I feel extremely vulnerable and I am not disrobing in front of strangers for all the tea in China. I see a look of understanding pass over Her face and She says softly, “He needs to get to your Dragon, just remove your shirt. You will be safe, I promise you, you will not be harmed.”
I look back over my shoulder, but Lo’kar isn’t looking at me, he is looking at Tiamat, and casting a quick glance at Finn. He isn’t looking at me either, he is looking at his father. I quickly pull my long-sleeved t-shirt over my head and place it in front of my breasts, gripping it to my chest tightly. Tiamat nods stiffly and Her gaze hardens as She sees the burn marks that Aelfric made, that still have not healed, and the Royal Faerie markings adorning my arms. “Proceed,” She orders.
I stand there cowering as I feel Lo’kar place his hands on my back, but then all my anxiety leaves me as the Dragon on my back accepts his touch. She is starting to get warm, but pleasantly so, and in the gloom, I can see a golden glow coming from Her. Lo’kar steps back, removing his hands from me and the strangest sensation goes over me. It is like he is peeling the marking off my back. It doesn’t hurt, but it is definitely weird. I hear him step back further and further until I can feel the Dragon gone completely from my skin. My anxiety returns tenfold and I start to shiver violently. Tiamat comes to stand next to me and puts Her arms around me, soothing me. This is the most contact I have had with Her since I met Her, and I sink into Her embrace. “Turn around,” She says. My eyes widen, but I shake my head.
“Turn around,” She says again. “Watch what he is doing.”
I must admit, I am curious, so I hesitantly turn around and my mouth drops open in shock. Lo’kar is standing there with his head thrown back, his arms stretched out to the sides, his long black hair floating gently in the flap of my Dragon’s wings as She grows. Her outline is a glowing gold, and She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As She reaches the height of Lo’kar, She sinks into his skin and he absorbs Her completely. He starts a chant, in a language that I don’t understand, but I have heard Tiamat use it before, when She turned back time. Th
e gentle wind picks up and he is now glowing the same gold as my Dragon was. My jaw drops even further as I see that he is highly aroused, which probably is why he has to do this naked. No clothing, no matter how loose, would be able to contain what is going on down there. I blush furiously, bringing my eyes back up to his face, really not wanting to think of him and my mother together. Gross, gross, gross. I cover my eyes and Tiamat turns me back around. I thankfully open my eyes to look into the gloom of the cave again and I feel Lo’kar move forward and place his hands on my back again, replacing my Dragon. As the ritual is complete, I feel completely at peace now. The raging Power that I had felt before he took Her is now a simmer and all the anxiety is gone. I pull my t-shirt back over my head and turn to thank Lo’kar, but he is backing into the shadows and has disappeared before I can open my mouth.
“To’Kah will do this for you. You should engage in this ritual at least once a month to start with, and definitely after you have exerted a full force of Power. Your body is strong, but you need a Guardian to soothe the Power and to keep it calm. You must use him, ValamAtrux. Do not go your usual way of thinking that you can handle everything by yourself.”
I nod, thinking, yeah, I’ve heard that before. This, however, is definitely something I am going to have to keep on top of.
“Go now,” She says. “Let your husband comfort you.”
I look up at her. Is She joking? I am not telling Cole, or anyone else about what happened with Aelfric. When I said come clean before, I meant about the Faerie thing. Not about that.
“Do not keep this from him,” She warns. “It will come out eventually and he will be more hurt that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him in the first place.”
“No, it will hurt him if I tell him,” I insist.
“Aefre,” She sighs, reverting to my birth name, “He is not the weakling you make him out to be.”
“I never said he was weak!” I say, indignant that She thinks that is what I meant.
“You do not think he is strong,” She contradicts me. “One of many reasons he was Chosen is for his fortitude. Dealing with your life is no easy chore and it will only become even more intense. He is handling it quite well by all accounts. Well, leaving you aside, of course,” She adds wryly.
Of course. “What specific purpose does he have?” I have to ask. “You said before the time shift that he had to be by my side, as my husband.”
“All will be revealed in good time. Just know that he is the one, Aefre. Do not push him away.”
The one? The one what?
“Tell him of your ordeal and let him comfort you,” She says again. “You will need to explain your accelerated Powers and the presence of To’Kah in your life. Do not make the mistake of lying to get away from it.”
Says She who asked me to lie to Cole, and to all of them, in the first place about what happened in the Other world.
“Very well,” I sigh. I have one more question and this is the best chance that I am going to get a proper answer. “Who exactly is Remiel?”
She narrows Her eyes at me. “You do not need to know the answer to that to defeat him.”
“I don’t want to defeat him. I want to know who he is and why you killed him?”
“If you do not defeat him, he will use you for his own end,” She says.
“What is his own end?” I press.
She deliberates for a long moment. “You are the key to his survival. More so now.”
“How so and why did you kill him?” I want an answer and I’m not going anywhere until She tells me.
“I killed him because I made a mistake. He is a failed experiment, Aefre,” She admits in desperation.
What? I stare at Her in shock. A failed experiment? “What do you mean?”
“Enough questions,” She barks at me. “Know that if you don’t defeat him, he will become a foe that you will not want.”
“If he is such a threat, why don’t you take him out?” I ask.
She glowers at me as I had ignored Her order and asked another question. “I loved him,” She says softly. “He was my flesh and blood and he was special, but I ruined him. I have slain him once; I will not do it again. It is your responsibility now. He is not your ally, Aefre, no matter what you might think. He has a way of swaying one’s opinions.”
Well, that I can believe. I have gone from wanting to kill him to wanting to save him. Shame on me, I suppose. I drop it, as I am too tired to think about anything except getting home now.
“I must go back to the Dragon Realms now,” Tiamat says to me and I nod. “I will send To’Kah once he is ready to be your Guardian. If you need someone in the meantime, you can use Lo’kar again.” She looks slightly pained as She says that, and I can see it causes Her grief to have to share him. But She needn’t worry, even if I fall into a twitching, drooling heap on the floor, I am not using Lo’kar that way again. It was way too intimate, and I am not sure that I will be fully comfortable doing this with Finn. I don’t know him, and I have been violated one too many times in my life. I dread to think what Cole will say when I tell him Finn has to be naked. Well, I assume he does. Maybe he can be clothed, that would be preferable.
“Be safe, my daughter,” Tiamat says and Astrals off.
Finn says to me, “You look beat. I’ll take you back.”
I smile gratefully at him. “Thanks. I wish you had given me a bit of warning. That Power boost was not something I wish to go through again.”
He smiles back. “I had no idea what it was going to be like. Sorry. I would have told you if I had known it would be like that.”
He takes my arm and Astrals us back to England. We land in the garden and he squeezes my arm before he lets me go. “I will be back soon. Try to keep calm until then. I…” He flushes and looks down.
“What?” I ask.
“I have been assigned as your Guardian since you first got your Powers. I did not like to see my father take you in like that. Guardians are not to be shared in normal circumstances, and neither are their charges.”
“Oh,” I say, somewhat embarrassed. I also look down and scuff my feet. We are like two teenagers after we have told each other we like each other.
“Right, then,” he clears his throat. “I guess I will leave you to your…” He points behind me and I sigh.
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”
He nods and Astrals out. I put on my game face and turn around, just as Cole crashes into me, crushing me in a hug so fierce, I feel he might have broken a few ribs, but I hug him back just as hard. I have missed him, and I just want him. I don’t want to see anyone else right now. Without a word, I Astral us to our bedroom. I know a few noses will be pushed out of joint by that move, but I don’t care. I don’t have the strength to deal with all of them, most especially CK. I am dreading having to face him again. I am surprised that he is still here, I had hoped he would have slunk off back to Ponte and that I didn’t have to see him again for a while. A long, long while.
“Tell me everything,” Cole says as he lets me go. I pull him to the bed and sit down.
“Blood,” I say, and he jumps up to get me a bottle out of the mini fridge. “More,” I say as he hands it to me. As I chug it back, he brings me three more with a questioning look and I shake my head. He goes back for two more and I nod, slowly and steadily gulping it back. Replete, I lie back and hold my hands up to him. He lies next to me and I start at the beginning, with what Corinne said about Drake and ending with me returning here via Finn’s Astral. I leave out three major points: the fight with CK, Sebastian, and the rape. I will tell all when I have had a bit more time to process it all.
Cole is silent as I finish my tale. “Say something,” I say, twisting his t-shirt in my hands.
“I don’t really know what to say. I mean, shit. Where do I start?” He runs his hands through his hair with a bewildered look.
I shrug and he sees how tired I am.
“Go to sleep, my love. We can talk more about it when you wak
e up,” he says.
I nod sleepily. My eyes close and I am out.
Chapter 16
Buckinghamshire, England, March 2013 - Liv
I wake up alone to the sun shining through the French doors. I blink and turn over. I am under the covers, naked. I groan, no! No, no, no! Cole had obviously tried to make me more comfortable, but in the process, he has now seen the burn marks. The gods, what must he be thinking? I had wanted to do this in my own time, but I should have known I couldn’t hide it. He wouldn’t keep me clothed to sleep, when he knows I prefer to sleep in the nude. That being said, I did not expect to sleep for so long. It is clearly morning, so I have been asleep for about fifteen hours. I get up and pull my robe on. I need a shower, no, a bath, I quickly amend. I am not getting in a shower again for a while. It disgusts me to think that I haven’t washed properly since Aelfric took me. That thought gets me in the empty tub in record time and I sit there with my knees up as the water slowly rises around me. When I am covered, I lean forward and turn off the taps and relax a little bit. The water is hot and soothing, and I am startled that I can feel it. My body is changing to be able to feel the changes in temperature. I wonder how, but don’t get to think too hard on it because Cole comes in.
“Hey,” he says quietly.
“Hey,” I say as I sink further into the bubbles.
“I…” he starts as I say, “Cole…”
“You first,” he says. He stays where he is by the door and I am glad. That feeling of vulnerability comes back and I hate it. I shouldn’t feel this way around my husband.
“There is part of the story I haven’t told you,” I say, stating the obvious, but he doesn’t say anything. “Before I tell you, please promise me that you will not be angry.”
He frowns at me and I think he wants to say something, but he doesn’t, he just nods.
I brace myself by taking a deep breath and say in a rush, “When I was in my father’s palace, I was raped.”
I watch as Cole’s face goes as hard as the marble of this tub and he clenches his fists. I can see him struggling to remain calm and I say, “I’m okay though. Really, it’s fine.”