by Eve Newton
“What?” he asks, as he pushes it out of his line of sight so he can see the road.
“You went to her on Tuesday night?” I yell at him. I am only mad with him because he didn’t tell me, not because he did anything with her.
“Uh, yes,” he says guiltily. “But nothing happened! I got up and left before it went anywhere.”
“It went as far as the bed apparently!” I state in annoyance.
“You know what I mean,” he mumbles. “Don’t be mad with me, Liv. Or do you want me to ask what you were doing on Tuesday night?”
I flush with anger at his attitude, but then I must concede that I was doing far worse on Tuesday night than he was.
“Thought so,” he mutters at my silence and I throw the book at him. It bounces off his head and I stifle the snort of laughter that is threatening to burst out at his wounded look. “At least I know what you will be doing this Tuesday night,” he adds.
“Indeed,” I say. It reminds me of the talk I must have with CK when we get home. I am not looking forward to that, but he will do as I ask because he said he would. Mind you, he has said a lot of things that he hasn’t stuck to lately.
Back at home, we are accosted as soon as we walk in the door by Sebastian. “Here,” he throws something at me, and I catch it.
“What is it?” I ask, twirling the gold circlet in my hands.
“My father’s crown. It’s yours now,” he says.
“Seb?” I ask. “What happened?”
He stalks off into the library where CK is also waiting. He has clearly already been filled in as he is standing there looking avenged, which is annoying, as I was the one who was wronged. “Aelfric is dead,” Sebastian states.
“You killed him?” I ask quietly.
“Didn’t have to. Your own father took care of it,” he says shortly.
I feel a slight pang of guilt that someone died because of me. These Faerie don’t mess about. But it is quickly squashed by my Dragon, who most definitely approves. Bloodthirsty bunch, these original creatures. “This makes you King now?” I say.
He stands up straight and replies, “Yes.”
I have no idea what to say next to him. This wasn’t part of the plan, not mine and certainly not his. He is bearing the weight of this and I can see he doesn’t want it. I hold out the crown to him and say, “This is yours then.”
“You wish this for me?” he asks formally.
“It is not my decision, Sebastian.”
“As my Queen, it is your decision,” he says. “This affects you as well,” he adds with a quick look at Cole, ignoring CK completely.
Ah, shit. He’s right. If he becomes King of the Light Fae and I am supposed to unite with him, that makes me Queen of the Light Fae. Just once, I’d like to be just “me.’”
I sigh and take the extra duty on, as is expected of me. Tiamat will no doubt throw a shit fit at me, but I can’t help how all of this has played out. He bows his head as I hold the crown out to him again and he accepts it as I put it on him. “Very well,” he says.
Cole looks on mournfully and CK looks furious, but this is just another one of those things.
“I must return,” Sebastian says. “Civil war is about to break out over your father killing mine. I will return, when I can. I have a plan that might end this, but I need to think it through first.”
I nod. “Be safe, Kalen,” I whisper, and he kisses my hand before he does the Fae King puff-of-smoke thing.
I stare at where he disappeared, thinking I should probably go and see Drake. Who knows what is going on over there? Having said that, I perhaps am the last person he will want to see, not to mention everyone else. I have never been the cause of war before and while V.A. is reveling in the destruction, the girl Aefre, is curled up in a dark corner crying. It’s very confusing.
“Constantine, I need to speak with you,” I say, turning to him.
He looks hopeful as he nods and I hate that I am going to crush him, but this has to happen. Cole gives my hand a quick squeeze and I grab CK’s shoulder and Astral us to his bedroom.
“Have you forgiven me?” he asks straight away.
I shake my head. “Not yet. Not for everything.”
“What can I do to make it up to you?” he asks.
“I need a month,” I say. “One month away from you to gain some perspective. I don’t want to see you or speak to you. I need time.”
“No, Aefre,” he says, shaking his head. “You will not leave me. We have a deal.”
“Deal or not, you said outside that you would give me time. I’m asking for it and you owe me.”
“A month?” he asks after a long silence. “How will I go a whole month without seeing you? Without touching you, or kissing you, making love to you. I can’t, Aefre, it is too long.” His miserable face breaks my heart, but I stand firm.
“Even if I came to you, we wouldn’t be doing any of that,” I say softly, looking down. “I can’t.”
“Oh, Aefre, I’m sorry. I am such a fucking idiot. Of course not.” He sighs and turns his back to me. I wait, because I know he is going to give me what I want. He has no choice. “I will go,” he says. “You won’t see me or hear from me for three months.”
“No, Constantine,” I interrupt him, “just one. I will have made my mind up about what I want to do then.”
“Three months,” he says again, turning to face me. “Three months from this date, you will have your feelings clear about what happened to you over there and how you wish to proceed. I will wait for you at Ponte. If you come, I will know you have forgiven me. If you do not, I will leave you to your life.” He waits expectantly for my answer, his eyes begging me to protest and I want to. Three months will feel like a lifetime away from him now. Even after what he has done, I still have the bone-deep need and desire for him. But he has offered up his own punishment and I accept it.
“Three months from today,” I say, and he Teleports out without another word, and if I didn’t know better, I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes.
I leave the bedroom after a few minutes; my own tears having fallen and been brushed aside. I find Cole lurking and tell him of our conversation. I can tell he is overjoyed, although he is desperately trying not to show it. I know he is madly curious as to why he ended up with three months of me to himself instead of just the one, but he has learned now not to look the ancient Vampire gift horse in the mouth.
“One down, two to go,” I say lightly.
“No, don’t cut them off, Liv. Just no nights away, be here when I need you,” Cole says, and it surprises me that he is in earnest. I would have thought he’d have jumped at the chance. “I know how you and Devon feel about each other. I would never ask you to abandon him,” he says. “And I don’t want to get on Lincoln’s bad side. If he doesn’t see you when he needs you, things could get ugly.”
I take it and scuttle off to find Lincoln to tell him anyway.
I find him in the library, working. “Demon-Wolf thing?” I ask, as I bend down to kiss him lightly.
He grimaces at me. “Can’t find out a damn thing about it. Cliff has eyes and ears out over all the Packs in England, but until the next full moon we probably won’t catch sight of it again.”
I sit down next to him and he regards me intently. “Liv.”
“Don’t want to discuss it,” I say shortly.
“How did you know what I wanted to say?”
“The choice of topic doesn’t matter. It will be one of many things since I last spoke to you and I don’t want to discuss any of them. Not right now.”
“Fair enough,” he says, and I love him for not pushing.
“I do have something I need to tell you though,” I say. He is less than impressed when I tell him about my plans.
“Okay, I get that you aren’t ready to be with anyone after what happened, but I don’t get to see you at all?” he asks.
“Of course, you will see me. I just can’t spend nights with you, where I should be spe
nding it with Cole.”
“So, I can still spend time with you?” he asks in confusion.
“Yes, of course. This was mostly for Constantine. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you. Cole understands about us and the full moon issue,” I reassure him.
“Okay,” he says.
I kiss him sweetly.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
“I love you too, so, so much,” I tell him back and he brightens a little bit.
We are interrupted then by Cole. It’s weird. I didn’t sense him. My Vampire is resting all right. Seems she only comes alive when I touch the people I love. Lincoln lets go of me and I scoot my chair back a bit, and stand. With a last look back at Lincoln, I take Cole’s hand.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks as I draw him towards the stairs.
“Sure,” I say cautiously.
“When you were gone, Constantine said that he had signed over half of his estate to you. Is that true?”
He told Cole that? I could kill him. “He tried,” I say calmly. “He offered it to me, but I refused.” That is the truth. I hadn’t signed the papers he gave to me, however, in the spirit of coming clean (as clean as I can, anyway) I add, “But I did take ownership of Ponte.”
“I see. Can I ask why?”
I had expected a shitstorm, but he is being as composed as I am about it. “He offered it to me. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to. You have no idea how huge a deal this is for him, and me.”
“So it is your home together,” he presses.
“It will be,” I say carefully. “One day, maybe.” But now is as good a time as any to mention what CK asked of me before everything went to Hell and back. Just to cover my bases in case I do end up forgiving my sire. “Uhm, I told Constantine of your desire to come up with a different arrangement.”
“Oh?” he asks, looking away from me.
“Yeah, he said that he wanted us to move there. To Ponte.”
“Us?” he asks, his eyes flicking back to mine. “As in me and you?”
“Yes, that is what he said,” I say.
“Really?” he asks with a frown. “What’s the catch?”
I sigh. “I spend nights with him in our bed.”
Cole huffs. “Of course. Somehow, I don’t think so. I will think of something else.”
I just shrug.
His eyes bore into mine at my evasiveness, but he lets it go. I am glad because he thinks my lack of forthcoming is because I don’t want to discuss it with him, when in actual fact, I can’t say for certain that I will ever live there with CK again, but I can’t tell him why. We have reached our bedroom and we both pause, wondering what is going to happen next. He sighs and leads me inside and lets me go while he turns his back to change. He pulls on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and climbs into bed, all before I have even taken my jacket off. He is obviously trying to show me he wants nothing from me. It makes me feel even worse. I swap my own clothes for a long, white, cotton, old-fashioned nightgown. All my bits are covered, including the burns and Faerie marks, from my neck to my feet. I probably don’t look very fetching at all, and that was the idea. Cole hates it when I look vulnerable and my human age. Hopefully it will douse any desire he has for me. For extra measure, I twist my long, blonde hair into two braids and now I know I look the exact opposite of how he likes me. Maybe a Shift wouldn’t go amiss, I wonder briefly, but then think that is probably taking it too far. I climb stiffly into bed and he turns on his side away from me. It hurts like the dickens, but I do the same. This is not how this is supposed to be. I flop onto my back, prepared to take action. I reach for him hesitantly, but his voice stops me cold. “Don’t,” he whispers. “Don’t do anything you don’t really want to.” I withdraw my hand and tuck it into my side as I turn back over. I curse myself for being weak and pathetic. What happened wasn’t the end of the world. It could have been far, far worse than it was. Cole is my husband, he isn’t going to hurt me and even if he did try, he would be on the losing side of that fight, not me. But I can’t do it yet. Not even for him.
Chapter 18
Buckinghamshire, England, March 2013 - Liv
I get up several times in the night to check the healing of the burns.
Cole is fast sleep so for the third time, I get up and creep into the bathroom. Gone. They have gone. I breathe a sigh of relief, but it doesn’t go very far in helping me get over it. I slide back into bed and Cole gathers me to him in his sleep and I feel like I can let him now. My body is no longer tainted, I feel like I am in an acceptable state to lie with my husband’s arms around me. I lie wide awake, enjoying listening to Cole’s steady breathing and his soft heartbeat. The gods, I want him. I slip out of his arms and go to check once more that the burns are still gone. They are, so I stare at myself in the mirror and give myself a talking-to.
Stop being so damn pathetic. He is your husband, if you want him, go and take him. Take back the Power that was taken from you and do it your way. He loves you and you love him. I take a deep breath and then whisper out loud the question that has been bouncing around in my head all night. “Do you really want Aelfric to be the last man that has taken you? Do you really want him to have that hold on you?” I shake my head ferociously and reply to myself, “No!”
I turn around and, still naked, I march back into the dim room. My eyes fall upon my husband, sleeping so soundly. I love him so much. I can do this. I move towards him and he stirs. His eyes fly open as he notices I am not next to him but standing naked at the foot of the bed. His eyes blaze over my body and my stomach clenches. I want my frumpy nightgown back, but I shake it off and let him look at me. He sees all my thoughts pass across my face and he puts his hand out to stop me from climbing onto the bed. I falter in my resolve. I can’t have him touching me, not yet, but I know I can touch him and give him something. He stares at me with his beautiful blue eyes. He opens his mouth to speak, but I put my hand up to his lips, “Hush,” I say. “Let me do what I can for you.”
He wants to resist, but he can’t, it is impossible for him. I pull his boxers down, and he springs free, already enormous, his tip glistening. I lean over him, keeping myself out of reach and slowly lower my mouth to him. He whimpers as my lips close over him and I slide my tongue down his length. I bring my hand up to circle him and it is over in a few seconds. He lets go and I drink in his desire, lapping up every last drop. As soon as I sit up, he pulls his boxers back up and turns away from me again. I know he doesn’t have the words, so I don’t take offense. I just snuggle under the covers and drift back off as I hear him mutter, “Thank you.”
I wake up to him watching me with a sad look, which he removes from his face when he sees me notice him. I can tell he is aching to touch me, and I want to let him.
“Give me your hand,” I whisper, holding mine out to him.
He just stares at it for the longest time. He eventually, hesitantly, reaches out and I grasp his fingers in a strong grip. He relaxes when I don’t freak out or pull away from him. “I’m sorry, Liv. I don’t know how to act with you.” His face is a mask of utter desolation and my heart breaks for him.
“Don’t act,” I say to him. “Just be.”
“Did he hurt you?” he whispers so quietly. “I mean really hurt you?”
He avoids my gaze and I, in turn, avoid his. “No,” I say, shaking my head. “Not really. It was…”
The silence lingers.
“Was what?” he asks.
I pause, wondering if I can explain it to him. “Not an act of power. He did what he did, because he wanted the child.”
Cole closes his eyes as he thinks that over. For all his anger and pain over the act itself, I can see clearly that he is not happy that someone tried to impregnate me. I don’t blame him. I’m not either.
“What is so fucking special about this child?” he snaps suddenly.
I had wondered that myself until I went on my exploration mission of the palace. I had found Drake in the library and he
was more than startled to see me wandering aimlessly around, but he was more than forthcoming when I asked him that exact question. Minus the expletive, of course. He didn’t expect me to know or understand why the prophecy was so important to them and I still don’t really. He explained that there has never been a recorded case of a half Dark, half Light Faerie being born. Not for a lack of trying, I was given to understand. It was told even further back that a child born of the two races would be crucial to the survival of the Faerie. That a time would come in the Kingdoms when a new breed of Faerie would be needed. No one knew why, although there has been speculation that it was going to be the only way to bring peace between the Dark and Light. I gulp suddenly when it occurs to me that they are fighting now over my attack and Aelfric’s demise. Is this the war that was predicted so long ago? Is this child needed now to bring peace? I really, really hope not.
“So they need it?” Cole asks grimly. “They need you and Sebastian to make a new leader for them?”
“Pretty much,” I say. “But Cole, it is not going to happen.” It isn’t much in the way of reassurance and he knows it, but what else can I say?
“What does your mother have to say about all of this?” he asks an insightful question and I blink at him.
“She is less than impressed with this entire situation,” I say. “She’s told me I am not to make a Faerie baby,” I add lightly in an imitation of Her voice. It catches him on the quick and he laughs.
“Good,” he says. “I hope this time you listen to Her.”
“Yes, sir,” I murmur and his eyes light up. His hand twitches in mine and I feel peace settle over me. On impulse, I bring it up to place it over my heart. There is a golden glow coming from him as he touches me and we both just stare at it. The raggedness deep inside begins to fade as the golden light swirls up from where he is touching me, twining itself around us with the twinkle of a million stars. I absorb the golden haze into me, and the peace settles over me again. I have no idea what he just did to me, or how, but I pull him to me, and I kiss him.
Moments later, I murmur to him, “Let me do this, my way.” He has no choice but to let me. He lies back and gasps as my hands move up over his legs and once again pull his boxers down, this time removing them completely and tossing them aside. He is ready for me, but I need more time. I crawl up his lap and run my hands under his t-shirt, bringing it up with me and pulling it over his head. I cast my eyes down his spectacular body and my mouth starts to water at the sight of him.