by J. L. Beck
“I will, and D, please don’t tell him…Please?” I pleaded with him.
“I won’t Mia.” And I could tell he was telling the truth. For the first time in a long time I didn’t, feel alone when it came to dealing with my feelings about Jake.
He walked out of the house, closing the door quietly behind him leaving me to do what I needed to do.
I loved Jake, but I didn’t love him enough to be stuck as a doormat for the rest of my life.
“Lola, get me your suitcase…” I hollered across the house. I couldn’t cry over this anymore. I needed to be strong. I needed to be me.
I was a crazed man on the search for the woman I loved. She couldn’t have left, could she have? Questions coursed through my brain. I didn’t know where she was, all I knew was that her car was gone, and so were her things.
“None of it is adding up!” The sting of tears in my eyes made me aware that I was on the verge of a complete meltdown. I guess this is what Mia felt like when I left her without so much as an excuse.
“I told you that she wasn’t here man.” Donovan’s voice echoed through the house. I lifted my head from my hands, looking up at him through blurry eyes.
“I know. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go. I’ve looked everywhere.” I couldn’t save us if I didn’t even know where to start.
Donovan had a sour look on his face as she took in my shitty state. “How can you be so upset over something that you caused?”
I blinked, confusion settling deep into my bones.
What the fuck was he talking about?
“I don’t understand dude?” I shook my head as if doing so would jar some answer to come forward. An evil smile pulled at D’s lips. He looked sinister looking at me the way he was, but I wasn’t scared, I had faced worse in this world.
“Sofia. The kiss.” It hit me like a ton of bricks then. She had seen Sofia kiss me. She must’ve thought…
“Its not what you think D. I didn’t kiss her.” I shot up from the chair I was siting in.
“You expect me to believe you when Mia saw it with her own eyes?” Donovan raised an eyebrow at me. He knew something, something that I needed to know.
“I do, because what Mia saw wasn’t me kissing Sofia, it was Sofia kissing me. I shoved her away D. You know how much Mia means to me…” I was ready to get down on both knees and beg him to tell me whatever it was that he knew.
“You fucking liar…” He growled, his fist landing against the top of my cheek without warning. My entire body swayed with the blow. “You broke her heart once, but a second time, really? You must think I’m dumb or something?” I sucked in fresh oxygen trying to calm my boiling blood. He wasn’t trying to start a fight; he was just trying to protect Mia.
“I, fucking love Mia. I love her so much. I did nothing wrong. Nothing. I’ve been the man she needed, and the father that Lola deserved.” I spoke through clenched teeth.
“Yeah right, you need to stay the fuck away from Lola. She deserves more than you anyway.” Donovan hissed, and I lost it then. Before I could stop myself I had him by the throat, pinned against the far wall.
“I won’t stay away from Lola. She’s my fucking daughter. Mine. Just like Mia is mine. I love them both with every single fiber inside of me, and I will do whatever the hell I need to, too prove that to you. Do you understand me?” We were nose to nose, and from the look in Donovan’s eyes I could tell that he got me.
“Wait, did you just say you’re Lola’s father?” He didn’t seem to skip a beat when speaking so I released him, moving away from him.
“Yeah. We didn’t want to tell anyone until we were back together for a while, but Lola is mine. Mia got pregnant before I left for basic. She never told me, otherwise I never would’ve gone.” I ran a hand through my hair, well taking in a ragged breath.
Donovan shook his head, “She lied…. that little asshole. She told all of us she didn’t know who the father was. That she had a fling with some guy over the summer. It makes sense now though…” His comment had my blood singing.
“Well yeah, she fucking lied. I’m the father and I’m not going to let her run away with Lola. I’m not going to let her leave without fully understanding what happened. I didn’t betray her. She’s fragile, and broken, and that’s my fucking fault I know that but I wouldn’t ever hurt her again, not like that.” Shame laced my words. I would never been able to take away the pain I had caused Mia, but I could try and ease it. I could make her life easier by being a permeant fixture in it. By taking care of her every single need.
“Damnit Jake. I promised her I wouldn’t tell you.” Donovan seemed to be the one struggling through his emotions now.
“I would never ask you unless I knew it was the right thing. I love her D. I fucking love her, and I want to make things right with her. I want her to know that I would never hurt her like that. That it wasn’t me and instead it was Sofia. I pushed her away.” I confessed to Donovan hoping he would believe me.
He sighed, “Alright. She’s at the cabin. The one we went to when we were kids down by Kerplunk Lake?”
“Thank you D!” I could’ve kissed him right then and there. I grabbed my shit and shoved my feet into a pair of sneakers making a beeline for the door.
“She’s going to kill me….” Donovan mumbled under his breath.
“No she won’t. I’ll explain everything.” I slapped a hand to his back hoping the little scuffle we got into was behind us. At the end of the day Donovan was still one of my best friend and I didn’t want something so small to come between all the memories we had made.
“Let’s hope it works out.” He sighed running his fingers through his hair. I knew him telling me where she went put his neck on the line but I had to let Mia know that nothing happened between Sofia and I.
I had to make my entire family whole again.
The drive to the lake was long, but enjoyable. It gave me time to clear my head and run through what it was I was going to say to Mia. I needed an approach because the second I walked through that front door she was going to tell me to get out, and if what I said didn’t click somewhere inside her head then she was as good as gone.
But I couldn’t think that way. I sped up, rounding the corner ahead. I had so many memories of this place with both Mia and Donovan. The boat house where Mia and I would slip off to make out when her parents weren’t looking, and the tire swing that Donovan and I always jumped off of and into the water.
I slowed down, shoving the memories to the back of my mind. If I couldn’t get this shit sorted there would be no new memories to create here. I turned onto the dirt road that led up to the cabin. By now Mia knew someone was approaching, you could hear a car a mile down the road before you saw it.
My hands felt clammy and my stomach was a ball of nerves. God. The air left my lungs as the cabin came into view and so did Mia’s car.
Deep Breathes. Keep it together.
One would’ve thought the military taught me discipline and strength but Mia was both of those things to me, and without her by my side I was a weak, weak man.
“Come on Lola!” I heard her yell, just as I parked the bike, killing the engine, and removing my helmet. Gravel crunched beneath my feet as I walked to the huge front porch of the cabin.
“I know you think I kissed her, but I didn’t. I pushed her away. I don’t care about her Mia. I never have. It’s always been you. Even when I left, it was you. I knew one day I would come back and make you mine again, even if you had a husband, and kids. In my heart you would always remain mine.” The words poured from within me seeping into the space between us.
“I saw you though…” Mia croaked and the need to go to her was nearly overpowering me. “I saw the kiss, she… she kissed you Jake.” The tears that fell from her eyes were because of me. The pain that lingered in her heart was because of me. The insecurities she had were mine, and I needed to build her up. I needed her to see that she was the most beautiful thing to me.
“That�
��s just it baby, she kissed me…” I couldn’t stop myself I had to touch her. I moved up the steps and into her space, cradling one of her smooth cheeks in my hand. She smelt like heaven, and for the first time all day I felt like I could breath. I could see the light bulb go off inside her head the dots were connecting.
“It hurt to see it though. It made me think things. I’m scared. You know that.” More tears fell and I stared down into her Emerald green eyes, wanting to take all the pain away.
“I love you Mia. You can run to the ends of the fucking Earth to get away from me but I’ll still come for you. You’re my all, my every-fucking-thing and nothing, nor no one will ever mean more to me than you and my daughter…” I couldn’t emphasize it enough.
A sob ripped from her throat and within seconds she was leaning against my chest, her tears soaking into my t-shirt.
“I hate you for hurting me.” She whispered so softly I almost missed the words. She clung to me like I was a lifeline, telling me how much I had hurt her. Pouring every single emotion she felt over the last four years into her words.
“I want to be angry, to hit you, to lash out at you, to run away, but I also want to hug you, and kiss you, and tell you how much I love you. I’m conflicted with my emotions and it’s because of you…” Her small fist slammed into my chest, making my heartbeat faster.
“Give it to me baby, give me all your anger and pain, and let me turn it into something glorious, let me give you your happily ever after.”
Her sobs got louder, and Lola grew concerned as she watched us from inside the house, a frown marring her beautiful features.
“I’m no prince Mia, but I’m going to do whatever I can to treat you like the queen you’re. I’ll protect you. Stand by you. I’ll be your strength. I’ll be whatever you need me to be, just let me be something for you, anything.” I couldn’t see through the tears that had started to form in my eyes.
I wrapped my arms around Mia so tight I was sure I was going to cut off air supply to her lungs.
“Just be my forever, and I’ll be yours too.”
And I would be until the day we died.
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Lola shouted a million times from her bedroom where her and her Daddy were painting a mural on her wall. I hobbled up the stairs nine months pregnant with our second daughter we had decided to name Ellie.
“Oh my Gosh!” Tears welled in my eyes as I entered the bedroom taking in the wall that they had spent the last week painting. It was a beautiful love story, of how we came together, fell apart, and came back together again.
It started with the boathouse and ended at the cabin where we came together as one all over again.
“Please tell me those are happy tears because if they aren’t I swear I’ll paint right over all of this right now.” Jake my rugged, now husband spoke up with a paintbrush in hand. Our journey had been a rocky one, full of hills, and jagged rocks but we came out of it stronger and hand in hand.
“Please no, it’s…” There just were no words to describe the feelings I was feeling. He had all but painted our entire love story on our daughters’ bedroom wall, making it into a magical fairytale love story.
“Do you love it?” Lola gazed up at me her blue sparkling with happiness.
“Yes! I love it, sweetheart!” Jake stood wrapping his arms around me. We had come such a long way together. He pieced my broken heart back together when I was sure there was no piecing it back together.
“I didn’t do this to make you cry, baby…” He soothed, rubbing his hand down my back. I melted into his touch. He was everything. Him, Lola and Ellie were all I needed in this world.
We had told my parents everything when we returned from the cabin, making it known to everyone that Jake and I were together and Lola was his. There was no point in hiding anything anymore.
“I know you didn’t. I know you did to show our daughter that even real love has its ups and downs.” I blinked away the tears.
“Do you think Sissy will like it?” Lola asked admiring the wall they had painted. I stared at for a moment without answering. There was no doubt in my mind that Ellie would love it just as much as Lola.
“I think she will love it, baby,” I answered pulling away from Jake well rubbing my belly. Ellie kicked at the movement of my hand.
“I think so too…” She answered.
I admired my entire family in that moment loving the story we have woven together. Now we had something we could look at every night when we put our sweet little girl down to bed.
“I love you, Mia. I love you so much..” Jake whispered into my ear, placing a kiss just below it. I melted into his kiss. This was my happily ever after. My forever.
Never Wanted More
A Nashville Secrets/Nashville U Novella
Stacey Lewis
College sucks and math is the devil. My major is Commercial Music, not math, and there's a reason for that. Math is not my best subject, but what class do they put me in? College Algebra. I barely passed High School Algebra; I'll never make it in this class. I'll have to find a tutor, there's no other option.
On top of my math problems, I've got a new roommate. I don't know what the hell happened; I had my dorm room to myself for the entire first semester. I got a notification yesterday from the housing department saying that as of today, I will have to share. Freshman year is just getting better and better.
Now I'm hurrying back to the dorms so that I can meet this new mystery roommate. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. I like having my own space, like being able to spread myself out. It doesn't help that I'm not a people person. In fact, I pretty much try to avoid people whenever possible. That's probably why I want to throw a tantrum when I reach my floor because there's a slender, dark-haired girl cussing my door. This must be her. She's about my height, at least I think she is, it's hard to tell because she's weighed down by at least three duffel bags. She has one hanging from each shoulder, and then one draped across her body. Lovely. On top of having a new roommate, I have a new clothes-hound for a roommate. The dorms don't have enough closet space for this.
Rolling my eyes heavenward, I walk over to introduce myself but when I reach her I chicken out..
"Problems?"
Her back stiffens when she hears the snotty tone in my voice before she mumbles something I can't understand.
Then, she snaps, "No, no problems at all. Just trying to get into my new room. Do you mind?"
Great. She has just as much attitude as I do. This is going to be one hell of a semester.
"I was going to offer to help considering that's my room you're trying to get into, but by all means, continue to curse at the door. I'm sure that will make it better." I snark; leaning against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest.
The girl, whose name was on the letter from housing that I didn't pay attention to, blows out an aggravated breath before turning to glare at me. It's a good thing I have a thick skin or I'd be backing up.
After the death glare, she closes her eyes before muttering,"Wonderful. Way to make a first impression there Kat."
I can't help the smirk, if it wasn't for the fact that I hate her for interrupting my nice, solitary dorm, I might actually like this girl. Unfortunately, before I can make any smart-ass comments about her talking to herself, a herd of what sounds like elephants stomp up the stairs to join us. Now, in edition to my bitchy roommate, there are four guys standing with us. All four are taller than my 5'8" and two of them are obviously related. The guys and my new roommate Kat all have dark hair, and I'm just waiting for the dumb blonde jokes to begin. One of the must-be-related guys puts his arm around Kat's shoulders and pulls her in for a hug.
"Who's this?" he asks her, looking over at me.
She sighs, "Apparently, my new not-so-friendly roommate. Max, this is..." trailing off when she realizes I haven't told her my name.
Without moving forward or extending a hand, I speak up, "Peyton, her roommate Peyton."
&nbs
p; "Well, hey Peyton. I'm Maxwell, but you can call me Max." Pointing at each guy in turn, he introduces the rest, "That's my brother Clay and his roommates Emmett and Wyatt."
So, I was right. Clay and Max are both tall with brown hair and eyes, although Clay is much more rugged-looking than his brother. Max is a little too fresh-faced for me. Based on the blush Kat's had since he put his arm around her, he's definitely her type. Interesting. The other two guys, Emmett and Wyatt are also tall, dark and handsome. Emmett has a much wilder look to him. His chestnut hair is messy, and he's got more than a five-o'clock shadow going on. When I look at Wyatt though, I feel an immediate jolt. Where Emmett and Clay are rougher around the edges, Wyatt is polished sophistication. He's got light bluish-green eyes and just enough scruff to be sexy instead of sloppy. He's actually really attractive, and with everything else going on, I can't afford to be attracted to someone. I need to focus on getting my degree before my parents decide to stop paying for school.
Trying to bring everyone back to the problem at hand, I turn back to Kat. "Are you ready to let me open the door, or are we just going to stand out here staring at each other for the rest of the afternoon?"
Kat opens her mouth to say something, but Max cuts her off when he steps in front of her like he thinks she needs protection from me. "Hey! What's your problem?"
Stepping away from the wall, I stalk over to stand in front of him. Jeez. He's tall and I have to tip my head back to look at him before saying, "The only problem I have is that I'd rather be in my room than standing out here with the five of you. Is that okay with you? I mean, it has been MY room since last semester."
When I stop to take a breath, an arm comes between us, pushing Max back. Wyatt steps forward and puts a hand on each of our shoulders before turning his turquoise gaze on me.
"Calm down Cujo. Max is just a little protective." He grins at me, showing off the dimple in his cheek, but the fact that it makes him even hotter is lost on me at the moment.