Mira ran her hands along the waistband of his jeans and slid them into his back pockets. “I know, I miss you. But this thing with Vince and then the hunting of Canidae has kept you pretty busy.”
He kissed her again because he hadn’t been able to do so much the last few days. “If we lived together this wouldn’t be a problem because even if I didn’t see a hair of you all day we would always see each other at night, in bed.” He moved to kiss her neck but she had gone still. “What’s wrong?”
“This again?” she asked rather blandly. “Really?”
Owen kissed her chin before moving back to see just how annoyed she was. “Until you agree to move in, yes.”
The smile had dropped from her face. Mira removed her hands from his pockets clearly indicating she wanted space, but Owen didn’t comply. The argument was getting tiresome on both sides. So if she didn’t want to hear it again, then all she had to do was agree.
“What’s wrong with keeping things how they are right now?” she asked moving back a step but bumping into her desk.
“You mean never seeing one another?”
She huffed. “No, you know what I mean.”
“You want to keep avoiding me then? Can’t say that sounds intriguing.”
Her face scrunched together. “What? But I’m not…”
“You are,” he injected. “If you don’t want to talk about this then let's speak about what Ann said and the reason for your avoidance. Have you tried what I suggested, yet?”
Mira’s eyes hardened and he could almost hear the silent growl coming from her lips. “You mean go searching for a furry creature in my head? No, Owen. I have not and I don’t plan on it in the future.”
“Well, what do you plan to do then?” he asked, his voice raising under his own temper. “Just ignore it? Ignore the possibility of being-”
“An animal? I’ll pass.” Mira dropped her eyes and stared at the wall behind him. Which was fine with him because Owen didn’t much want to look at her at the moment either. He had thought she was accepting of what he was. Never had it come up in conversation before. She seemed to find it fascinating back when she had first found out. Had that changed?
“Is that what you think of me, Mira?” he asked in a quiet rage. “As an animal?”
He knew regret when he saw it. Mira’s eyes were full to the brim with it. “No. That came out wrong. You know I don’t care what you are. My sister is part of your pack too. I love your pack, you know that.” She sat back on the desk behind her and her whole body seemed to sink into itself. Without her normal confidence, the exhaustion was easy to spot. There were lines under her eyes that he hadn’t seen until now. Her face was also looking a bit thinner than usual. His Rabbit was deflating in both body and spirit.
It was his fault, or partially his fault. He had been focused on Vince and Canidae when she had need of him too. Mira was good at putting on a happy face. She normally didn’t for him because he wanted to know when something was wrong. He wanted to help fix it. This time, however, he was part of the problem.
Owen picked up her hand and linked his fingers with hers. “Then why are you so adamantly avoiding this? It could be a great thing for you. For us.”
“Why do I have to want to be something I’m not? I like who I am.”
“That’s not going to change,” he told her.
“Isn’t it?” she asked, her wide eyes looking up at him. She was truly worried that if she found a wolf, dominant or submissive, then she wouldn’t be the same person she was today.
“Rabbit, nothing will change. You will be you no matter what body you take. Besides, if you are submissive, you won’t change at all.”
She smiled sadly. “You don’t get it. No, it’s ok. I don’t expect you to. Owen, you were born this way. What if you woke up tomorrow and someone told you there was a hibernating vampire inside of you? How would you feel then?”
He squeezed her hand. “I’d laugh in their faces because there is no such thing as a vampire.”
“Not helping.”
“Sorry,” he said, but it was a lie. She had smiled a little so it was worth it. “I do understand what you are saying but I don’t understand why you think you will be changed by it.”
Mira leaned forward so she could rest her head on his chest. Owen rubbed her back. After a moment, he felt her exhale and the fight had left her. He was holding up what was left.
“Can’t a girl just want things to stay as they are? I don’t need to be something more when I like who I am now.”
“I like you too and nothing is going to change that.” He kissed the top of her head.
She looked up at him, fear and trust battling in her eyes. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” He cupped her face and kissed her. “But that’s why I’m here.”
*****
“I want to thank you all for coming and meeting our wolves here at Adirondack Wolf Rescue,” Lee’s guide said as the small group she was with went back inside. “I hope you had a great time. And I’d like to make a shameless plug for our Adopt a Wolf program. If anyone would like some more information, please see Kendra at the desk. Thank you.”
Lee split from the people. She was disappointed at yet another failed hunch. As hard as it was to grasp, she still held on to hope. There was still another three animal rescues to check in to within New York State and then she was going to stretch her wings and go north further into New England. Every new place was built up her hope and excitement but she always left more put off than the place before. This time, she barely wanted to come. The hope was there but it was drowned under so much pessimism that it was hard to keep hold of. Mira’s idea had been a good one, it just wasn’t panning out.
As the group disbanded and the small gift shop cleared. Lee picked up the scent of another shifter. A rack of postcards became incredibly interesting as she walked around it to get a better view of the room and the people in it. The next tour group was being checked in. Six that she could see, about the same amount of people as hers had. Over the top of the card rack, she eyed each of them but none of them were who she smelled. One of her kind was here, though, scent didn’t lie.
Lee walked around the card rack another step. Maybe it was one of the employees. There was her tour guide, who was talking with someone from her group, probably wanted to donate some money. Then there was the girl, Kendra, who was signing people in for the next tour. But she had been around them earlier. This person was new. Around the room, she looked again. There had been someone else.
Think think think.
When she had first gotten back with her group there was a man. He was alone by the bathrooms. Where had he gone?
Lee put down the card she had been holding and turned toward the shelves of t-shirts. Behind her and up against the window was the man. He had a ball cap pulled down over his blonde hair as he pretended to read the brochure on the sanctuary. He was tall and lean, someone who could blend. His wolf was probably small but agile. Lee didn’t know this man, she had never met him before but she knew in her gut that he was a Canidae scout.
Their eyes met for a second. He nodded to her in a silent hello.
Lee looked around at the people in the small gift shop, some had gone outside to wait for the tour to start. Others had already left. She walked over to the man in an act of goodwill. This was not her land and she had told no one that she had been coming. It wasn’t against the rules or anything to go into another pack’s land without permission but they typically did out of courtesy.
“How was the tour?” he asked.
“Alright,” she answered studying him. Neither of them looked especially happy. “I’m visiting from the Adirondack pack, a spur of the moment stop or I would have stopped in and said hello to your alpha, Samuel.”
There was a slight tightening of his brow. “I’m Ben,” he said putting out his hand.
“Penelope,” she shook his hand. “So how is Samuel?” she asked with a smile. “I haven’t seen him in a few
years. Not since the last New England Alpha meeting.”
His mouth tightened but he cracked a small smile. “He’s well. I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you.”
Sure he would. If he was a real person. Samuel was the name of her second cousin from Virginia. The real alpha was a woman named Savannah. Ben wasn’t from the local pack. Idiot. He should have at least done his homework on the locals. But his presence and ignorance told her a lot. He was looking for someone as well, which meant they didn’t have Vince.
Lee smiled. She may not have found him but knowing that Canidae didn’t have him was the next best thing.
“Do you stop in places like this often?” Ben asked.
Unlike Ben, Lee did do her research and had an explanation ready. “I do. I’m a bit of an activist when it comes to places like this. I stop in randomly to see the living conditions of the wolves. They are our relatives, you know? I want to make sure they are taken care of. What brings you here?”
He must not have thought he’d run into any other shifter because his face went blank. “Uh, I’m here because of orders that my alpha…”
“Samuel,” Lee supplied.
His eye twitched with annoyance. “Yes, Samuel. He sends me out to make sure no shifters got caught and brought here by accident.”
Good explanation. He needed to work on his delivery, though. “Does that sort of thing happen a lot?”
“No,” he said becoming more comfortable with the lie. “But it did happen a few years ago, which is why we check in every so often.”
“Next tour will be leaving in two minutes!” Kendra said in a loud voice over top of the handful of people still in the gift shop.
“I should be going. It was nice meeting you, Penelope.”
“You too, Ben. Tell Samuel I said hello.”
He muttered something of an okay and walked past her. He probably wanted to just leave but with her watching he had to continue on with his lie. That would give her two hours head start before he was done to notify Canidae.
Lee left. She had websites to browse and tours to book. Vince might not have been here, but she was on his trail now.
Chapter Fourteen
Another tour was coming through. Vince sat in his spot under the sugar maple tree. Every day he sat there for the tours to go through under the deranged assumption someone was coming for him. The dominant wolf in him snarled at the thought of needing someone’s help. His changes at night weren’t getting much easier, though. Owen wouldn’t be so far off if he was at home with his pack. The bonds would lend him the strength of the pack and he would be all but healed by now.
But Vince wasn’t home.
He was in a cage with two other wolves as people stared and took pictures.
This could not be where his life was supposed to lead.
Beth’s voice traveled through the trees as she brought the next group down the road. He was her new favorite. She often kept the group here longer and told his story so often that he knew it by heart, all her mannerisms included.
The group was small today. Only four people. A couple was taking pictures of everything they could see. A twenty-something girl with vigorously scribbling notes in her notebook. The last person was a man who was staring at him. Typically the people who go on their tours are families, researchers or photographers. This man was none of those. He stood with his hands in his pockets, ball cap over his head and a smile so malicious Vince had to hold back the growl gathering in his throat.
The wind shifted and he got his first whiff of the man. He was a shifter. Vince pushed himself up and stood. Beth began her spiel about Geronimo, the wolf who was almost dead when they came across him in the woods and who she personally helped bring back into good health. She all but glowed when she looked at him. Usually, he would look regal for the people but today he only had eyes for the shifter.
As she went into detail about the circumstances he was found in, a sardonic smile spread across the man’s face. Vince knew right then, he was Canidae. He was here to finish the job the other little fucks failed at.
This time, he let the growl loose.
“Oh,” Beth said surprised as she looked at him. “Something must have him agitated.” Her head flipped from Vince to the man and back.
“What’s wrong with this one?” the man asked.
Don’t say anything Beth. Just don’t say it.
Beth had gotten over her surprise and flashed him a sympathetic smile. “He’s still injured pretty bad and not back to fighting strength just yet. He must be in pain today.”
Fuck. His time had just run out. The hair on his back began to stand on end as his growls got louder. Beth and the other three people on the tour took a few steps away from the fence. The Canidae man stayed put. His eyebrow lifted as if to ask “is that all you’ve got?” Beth had all but signed his death certificate. He needed to get out of there. They could come for him at any time and she was right, he wasn’t strong enough yet to fight off anyone.
“Come on. Let’s leave this guy alone. There is a wonderful pack of females up ahead.” Beth ushered the people along. The couple had already forgotten Vince’s outburst and looking elsewhere for pictures. The girl still scribbled in her notebook, not looking up as she walked away. The man hung back a moment, just until the others were out of earshot.
“Took a while but we found you. There will be no more hiding for you.” The man smiled like it was Christmas morning and he just got everything he asked for. “Get well soon, Geronimo.”
*****
The walk up to the third floor where her bedroom resided never felt so lengthy before. Of course, she thought the same thing about the walk across the parking lot and the drive across town from Sadie’s house. She hadn’t told her sister why she had to leave in the middle of picking out linens for her wedding, just that she had shit to do. Sadie was too caught up in all the organizational details to pay much attention to anything else in the world. With her anal tendencies and inhuman love of lists, it’s a wonder she hadn’t become a wedding planner.
Conversely, Mira was dreadfully bored with it all. For a small, intimate wedding it was a lot more work than she had originally considered. It was, however, a good distraction. Everyone’s options for things to do were divided to either planning a wedding or finding Vince. For all of those non-essential people, like herself, she really only had one alternative.
Well, that wasn’t completely true. After all, she was slinking off to her room for her own reasons and her mind had been preoccupied a lot lately. If she had asked, any number of people would have accompanied her on this soon to be mental journey she was heading for. But Mira didn’t want an audience. This was something that needed to be done on her own. Meditation was a solitary sport anyway.
She could have support, though. In the space of a heartbeat, she could have one of many people dropping what they were doing to come and see her through this, or just voice their support over the phone. Which, on its own, was pretty spectacular. Owen for one would be thrilled to help. He’d be surprised as hell too since he thought she had shot down all his tries at convincing her to look for her wolf. He wasn’t wrong, she had shot them down but only because she wanted it to be her decision, not his. Sadie would have been another choice. She was preoccupied but if Mira hid her lists, then she could get her attention long enough to ask. There was also Tyson or even Zach across the hall, who would come to her aid.
Mira needed this to be private. Not because she didn’t want anyone to know what she found but because she wasn’t sure what she wanted one way or another. And what if it wasn’t what the other person had wanted? Then she’d have to be figuring out how she felt about everything along with consoling them. No, it was much easier this way. Easier, but so insanely hard.
Her footsteps sounded on each of the wooden steps in a sort of ominous anthem. The last creak at the top of the stairs led way to a sinister silence that Mira couldn’t handle at all. She quickly moved down the hallway to her room and fiddle
d with the key until it slid into the lock. She may have closed her door a bit harshly but it was only to break up the silence.
Her room wasn’t much. At least, not compared to the room she would have at Owen’s. His offer to move in with him was tempting, so damn tempting. But if she did, then he would be proposing next and wanting babies soon after? That was just too much to think about right now. So as long as she held her ground and lived in this room above the Wick a little longer, then maybe she could keep this time stream on a steady course.
Mira dropped her bag on her bed and slid off her shoes. She missed her sandals that, up until a few days ago, she had worn all summer. The weather had just gotten a little too cold for her toes to be wild and free anymore. She exchanged her jeans for a more comfortable pair of cotton pants and the pulled the comforter free from the bed and folded it on the floor.
She had once dated a personal trainer who had a thing for meditating after a yoga session. Mira hadn’t done either since they broke up but was sure she could find that deep calm meditation like she used to with a little time and patience.
The comforter was a bit plushy when it was all folded up but it would do. She sat cross-legged and let her hands rest on her knees. For the next ten minutes Mira did everything she could to clear her mind but every time she was on the brink of peace, Zach would yell some obscenity to the game he—by the sounds of it—was losing.
That determination she had to just get it over with was leaving her. All she wanted to do now was burrow under her covers and take a nap. The world was a safe place under the safety of a fluffy comforter.
On one last ditch effort, she took a breath and closed her eyes.
“Oh! Is that how we're playing it now? Really? Awesome. You fucking cocksuckers.”
Mira groaned.
Well, she tried.
She grabbed the blanket from the floor and crawled into bed. The blanket was one size too big but she liked it that way. She covered herself and snuggled in. This was a much better idea than meditating. Nap time was a better idea than a lot of things she had to do on a daily basis. With the blanket up over her head, she muffled the sounds of Zach’s failing mission and let her eyes drift closed.
On the Edge (Adirondack Pack Book 3) Page 11