by Dez Burke
“I have so much to say, but it feels like the time and everything else is just too fucked up to say any of it,” she whispered instead of saying the three words that were fighting to escape her lips.
Jake understood her meaning and his arms tightened around her slim shoulders instinctively, “I know, sweetheart. I know,” he said.
Chapter Nineteen
The sun was peeking through the thick clouds over the Colorado Mountains as Leona stood at the window, waiting for the kettle to boil. Her arms crossed over her chest, she counted the days again in her mind, but no matter what, the ten days Jake had originally told her about were coming to an end.
If her math was right, he would send her on her way in two days. She turned as Jake walked up behind her, freshly shaven and showered, and kissed the tip of her nose affectionately.
“A man would think that a woman is in the kitchen early because she’s making breakfast,” he joked, and she smiled.
“I’m not domestically inclined. Besides, I’m a hostage.”
Jake chuckled and poured himself some coffee before taking out the ingredients for pancakes. “You’re in a good mood today,” he said and Leona bit back a laugh at his obtuseness.
“Yes Jake. I’m ecstatic,” she said rolling her eyes and Jake choked on his coffee.
“I’m guessing I was wrong. Sullen then?”
“Yes,” she replied tartly.
“Very?”
Leona burst out laughing and smacked him on his arm, “Stop it. I’m fine. Hurry up with the breakfast though, I’m starving.”
“I wonder what got your appetite so worked up,” he said and they exchanged a knowing smile.
They spent the day watching movies and took a break in the midst to make love on the couch. Leona savored each second, desperate to forge a memory of everything he did and said to her. She had a long life ahead of her without him and she felt like bawling with the throb in her heart, but she sucked it up. She knew Jake wouldn’t appreciate a discussion about it.
By evening, Jake had quieted and his face was tense, almost as if there was a catastrophe he knew about and she didn’t. Leona tried to let him be, not badger him, but after a while it became too much and she knew what was on his mind.
“Are you thinking about? Me going back the day after tomorrow?”
Jake sighed and rubbed his eyes ferociously with his fingers, “Tomorrow, Leona. Tomorrow morning.”
She sat bolt upright, her heart thudding, “You said ten days. Ten days is the day after tomorrow,” she whined and then checked herself immediately.
“Change of plans. You have to go back tomorrow morning.”
She fell back onto his chest, and to her complete surprise, he clutched her fiercely against himself. “I don’t want to go Jake,” she whispered after several minutes and Jake kissed her hair, inhaling her scent in a desperate attempt to try and memorize it.
“Come here,” he said as he switched off the TV and led her to the bedroom, throwing off his clothes slowly. Leona abandoned the blue dress she had borrowed from the closet and her lip trembled as Jake held her close, their naked bodies caressing one another.
“Don’t be sad. This is all the time we have, let’s just make the most of it, okay?” he whispered, and she nodded, tilting her head to offer him her lips.
Jake slid his hand over every curve and crevice of her body, and made love to her like he had never before with any woman, not even his fiancé. He was saying goodbye to Leona like he had never gotten a chance with Jessica. He explored her body fully and made her explore his, driving into her again and again, until they were both too exhausted to keep their eyes open.
Chapter Twenty
Jessica stood in a bulky coat beside the small car while Jake started the ignition and warmed it up for her. It wasn’t snowing anymore, but Jessica didn’t care about the safety of the drive to the airport. All she knew was that her heart was breaking into a million pieces.
“Go and see a doctor as soon as you get back. You can’t risk anything, alright?” he said for the fourth time that morning. He was worried about her being pregnant but Leona wasn’t. She wasn’t worried about anything but leaving behind the man she loved to an uncertain future.
He pulled the front of her coat tighter around her and Leona stared at his face, “Will you call me?” she asked and Jake’s jaw tightened in pain.
“No, Leona. I won’t call you,” he said harshly, wanting her to forget about him as soon as she left.
“But how will I know you’re alright? And safe?” Her eyes were wide, pleading.
Jake clutched her face in his palms, “If they catch me, you’ll see it on the news, otherwise I’ll be fine, somewhere. You don’t have to know any more than that. Go back home, see a doctor, and finish your law degree. You’re a smart, intelligent girl, but inexperienced in sex. You think you have feelings for me, but you don’t, sweetheart, not really. As soon as you’re back among your family and friends, you’ll forget all about me. You’ll see,” he said, and Leona fought back tears at his heartlessness.
She pulled free of his hands and slid into the car. “I hope you’re right,” she said and closed the door, her vision blurring with tears. She wanted to hug him one last time, kiss him, but his words had made it clear she meant nothing to him. He would surely forget all about her as soon as she was out of sight of the house.
Jake clenched his jaw as he watched his one last chance at love drive away in tears, but he could do nothing. This was the most selfless thing he had ever done in his life and he didn’t regret it.
He couldn’t tell her he loved her – he couldn’t be that heartless. She would wait for him, yearn for him, while he would be hiding from the world. Leona didn’t as much as glance at him, and he knew that she hated him at that moment. That’s what he wanted. He wanted her to hate him so that she would never think of him again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Leona caught a flight to Washington and took a cab to her parents’ house. All through her flight, she had struggled to keep her pain in check and now when she was finally at the large mansion where she grew up, she could feel the tears losing the battle to stay inside.
Her mother opened the door and suddenly all hell broke loose. Her brothers and several suited men brought her inside and began questioning her wildly. Leona felt like the world was coming to an end, and she wanted the ground to swallow her up when she heard the name Jake Hartford.
“What can you tell us about Jake Hartford’s location?” a bearded FBI agent asked her and she choked back her shock.
“What? Who?” She said and luckily, even to her own ears her attempt at deception sounded genuine.
The room went silent and Leona’s older brother Damon stepped forward to clutch her hand. “Where were you Leona?” he hissed, and her eyes widened.
“I… I was lost. I stayed at this cabin near the ski-resort and left when it stopped snowing.”
Damon stared at her closely, as if he could see through her soul. Leona could feel her heart thudding so hard it was about to burst out of her chest. She had no idea her brothers and the FBI were onto her and Jake. There had never been a single thing on the news which linked them together.
“What? Where did you think I was?” she asked loudly enough to be heard all the way to the FBI agents, and her brother gritted his teeth.
Purposefully, and laced with menace, his lips formed two words without a single sound. “Shut up!” he hissed, and let her arm free, pasting a calm expression on his face. Leona didn’t fool him.
“I don’t know. These agents seem to think you were kidnapped by Jake Hartford. He escaped from prison where he was serving life for murder.” Leona was sure that Damon knew she was up to something. She knew she could trust him, but would her lawyer brother stick by her when he learned she had been cavorting naked in a fugitive’s bed?
“That’s absurd!” Leona chuckled but it didn’t come out as real as she had planned in her head. “How could I be kidnapped? I went skiing. You
all knew.”
“Yes, we knew, but you were also to return last Saturday, and we heard nothing from you. Then dad got shot and the FBI thought there was a connection between your disappearance and dad’s assassination attempt. That’s why it hasn’t been released to the media. These guys here were trying to find you and Hartford.”
“That’s a lot of assumptions don’t you think?” she said pointedly to the FBI agents, but they looked suspicious. Luckily for her, they dared not tell her she was lying, not yet at least. They needed more proof before they could take out the handcuffs for the Chief Justice’s only daughter.
“How’s Dad? I found out when I reached the airport,” she said to change the topic.
All the people in the room were silent and her younger brother, Josh, stood up to hug her. “Good to see you, sis. Your scared us, really. Dad’s fine now and he’ll probably come home tomorrow. They’re keeping him at the hospital over some security concerns.”
“Okay. I think I better go see him,” Leona said. Trying to act like the agents’ presence didn’t matter to her, she grabbed her bag. “Mom, are you coming?”
“I’ll come with you,” Damon said and Leona stiffened, her heart lurching up like a scared child’s.
She got into the driver’s seat of her mother’s white Mercedes and had just pulled out of the driveway when her brother muttered under his breath. “No matter what happens, or what I say to you, do not stop this car.”
“Okay?” Leona said.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“What are you talking about?” Leona said, perfecting a confused expression.
“You idiot. They’re on to you. I’m on to you and I’m not even FBI. You and I both know you were lying in there. So the question is where were you and who were you with?”
“I told you, Damon.”
“Shut the hell up. Tell me so I can do something of this mess you made. Where the fuck were you? You were with Hartford, weren’t you? The police received a tip that Hartford was seen at a phone booth near the Colorado interchange. And you were lost in Colorado!” he said, his words laced with accusation.
“They know he’s in Colorado?” Leona burst out before she could stop herself, and then cursed herself under her breath as her brother clenched his eyes shut. He rubbed his fingers onto them like he would poke them out.
“You stupid girl. Stupid Leona. What the fuck were you thinking lying in there? They’re the FBI, for Christ’s sake!” he hissed angrily and Leona struggle to drive, her legs shaking like jelly.
She refused to reply. She couldn’t bear to look her brother in the eye because for the first time in her perfect life, she had made such a gigantic mess.
“Talk to me!” he said again and Leona saw the sign for the hospital ahead of her.
“We’re here,” she said, and then gasped as her brother clutched her wrist tightly. “Don’t do anything stupid. Christ, I don’t even know if our house is bugged. After what you pulled today I’m pretty sure every car and tree will be bugged at our place. Just shut up and don’t talk to anybody. If they read you your rights, just ask for your lawyer before you open your mouth.”
“I don’t have a lawyer,” she said as she slid out of the car on shaky legs.
“You do now,” he said almost angrily and clutched her to his chest. Leona held onto her brother for a few seconds longer than necessary and her eyes teared up in relief.
She couldn’t think about Jake just yet, or she would crumble up into a million pieces at the pain he had caused her. He and his memories had to wait.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Damon suggested they go for a walk when they returned home, and she couldn’t refuse because she was suddenly very, very unsure and very scared. When they were far from the house along the flower beds that filled a major section of their father’s property, Damon pinned a fake smile on his face for the passersby and began talking.
“Now you tell me what you did. I have to know if I have to do something about it.”
“I was with him. Damon. But the idea that he kidnapped me is ludicrous.”
“So how did you end up being with him? No matter what I do I can’t seem to wrap my head around the situation which would lead you to him other than the idea that he put a gun to your head.”
Leona sighed and ran her hand tiredly through her hair. “I was lost. I went for a ski on my own and I got lost along the way. I ended up at this house which was the only place in four hours I could find on foot, and he was there.”
“Did he threaten you?”
“No!” she cried, her eyes widening at her brother’s attempt to make Jake a villain. “I knocked and he let me in. He gave me warm clothes, coffee, and then he tried to get rid of me but I refused to leave.”
“Are you crazy? That man is a … where were your senses?”
Leona chuckled at his shortsightedness. “Do you actually think I’d have stayed if I had known who he was? I didn’t know. I didn’t know until a couple of days later but by then I didn’t want to get out of the warm house and freeze my ass to death, thank you very much!”
“He didn’t force you to stay with him?”
“Of course not!” she said instantly and then tensed because she was lying. Jake had kind of forced her, but he didn’t really have a choice. It was the man’s survival at stake and one couldn’t really blame him. “Listen. He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t do anything wrong. He let me go, didn’t he? And I’m alive, see?” she said, pointing towards herself.
“Okay. We have to talk to the agents now. We can claim you were in shock…that you were scared of him because he threatened you. Just tell them where he is, alright?” he said, turning towards the house.
Leona grabbed his sleeve, her knuckles white. “What are you talking about?” she hissed.
“I’m trying to save your ass from being dragged to court, you little freak!” he said and Leona shook her head.
“I’m not telling anyone anything, Damon. I won’t do it,” she said calmly.
Damon stared at her with disbelief written all over his face. “Are you out of your mind? You…” and then he understood, and his expression became ferocious, “You slept with the bastard, didn’t you?”
“Damon, that’s nobody’s business but my own. Just leave everything and see how it goes, alright?”
“Leona, you have to turn him in!” His expression was incredulous.
“I…won’t…do…it!” she said, enunciating each word. “I would never turn him in. He said he’d rather die than go back. I won’t turn him in, even if they hanged me for it.”
Damon’s jaw tightened and he shook his head, “The man’s a murderer, Leona.”
“I don’t believe that. He’s a wonderful, kind man. If only you knew him.”
Damon chuckled sarcastically, “That’s perfect. That’s just perfect!”
Leona refused to say anything else. She had said enough. They stood sizing each other up and Leona knew Damon was on her side but he was approaching the side differently than she was.
“Look Damon, I won’t betray him. I don’t care if he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I feel about him,” she said with tears clogging her throat. “But I love him. I love him unlike I’ve ever loved anyone in my life and I won’t turn my back on him.”
Damon turned away from her and her heart flipped over at the look of disgust and anger on his face. He walked back to the house and she stood there in the setting sun, clutching herself fiercely.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jake zipped up the tent he had been living in for the past two days and lay on his back to gather his strength. Tomorrow, he would move on from here. He was headed south and so far, everything he had paid for to his shady prison pal had come through.
He closed his eyes and as expected, Leona’s beautiful face crossed his mind. He could almost smell her scent in the air as he relived the time he had spent with her. It had been a week since he had let her go and her memories were fading
already.
He wanted to keep exercising his mind, keep her thoughts alive lest he forget all about her. He wanted to remember her for whatever time he had left in life.
Jake recalled how Leona had asked if he was planning to find out on his own about Jessica’s killer, and he had shut her out because he didn’t want to think about it. For two years after he went to prison, he had been obsessed with finding out the truth. Finally, he knew he had to let the matter rest if he wanted to keep his sanity.
He had no wish to go through the effort of finding out anything anymore. Fate had dealt him this hand and he was going to make the most of it. What mattered now was staying alive and never forgetting Leona.
The painful look in her eyes at the last moment made him double up in guilt. He didn’t want her to hate him anymore. He wished he could talk to her somehow, one last time, and let her know that he loved her.
Several hundred miles away from him, Leona awoke feeling disoriented and her eyes were swollen. She had gotten used to it over the week, crying herself to sleep and then waking with eyes that wouldn’t open completely.
Her mother would’ve noticed but Leona had begun wearing her glasses again, the ones she hadn’t touched in the four years since they were prescribed.
Memories of Jake and his warm caresses kept her awake, until the pain became too much to bear and she began crying with heart-wrenching sobs that seemed to take over her being. She wanted to be with him, near him, see his endearing, handsome face.
Not knowing what he was doing or even if he was safe was difficult, way more difficult than she could manage. Knowing that he didn’t care for her, that he had thought their wonderful days and nights naked in each other’s arms had just been sex, didn’t reduce her pain or her longing.
She watched the news every hour, praying fervently that they wouldn’t have found him and taken him back to the place he hated. Her whole routine was tiring her out, the stress, the worry, the crying.