'The NCA guys and the local Edinburgh cops are well chuffed, to put it mildly. As we suspected, the Glenn brothers were already on their radar and they knew some of the locations the gang were using to distribute drugs around the city. So they could have lifted the lower tier of the organisation at any time. But what they didn't know was how the cash from the drug sales was being collected and where it went after that. That was the solid evidence they were waiting for, so they could smash the whole organisation from top to bottom.'
'So our contribution was crucial in bringing them down?' said Annie, with a satisfied smile.
'Absolutely, and having Maxie on video, right there at the garage with the week's takings from drug sales in his hands, was a huge bonus. Once we marked their card, they were ready to green light the operation at the garage and all the other raids around Edinburgh. I'm reliably informed that they’re so pleased with the information supplied by the JD Investigations crew, that the awarding of a modest Crime Stoppers reward has been mentioned.'
'Really … how modest?’ asked Annie.
'I believe it's around ten thousand pounds.'
'Fantastic. So when do we get it?' said Annie enthusiastically. 'Obviously we’ve got to include Jamie, so split three ways that would be about …'
'Sorry, we don't get it. I told them to give all of the reward money to Henry's sister.'
Annie looked incredulously at her partner.
'Wait, let me explain. Guy offered to pay for Henry's funeral, but his sister wouldn't hear of it. You didn't meet her, but she's definitely from the old school, Annie. She's one of those proud but poor people, who don't like charity and just take care of their family's business, regardless of the circumstances. I think that she's the real victim in this whole affair, because of all the grief Henry put her through over the years. So a ten grand reward might ease the pain a little bit and, after all, she was the one who came forward with the crucial letter that broke the case wide open. I reckon, once she pays for the funeral, there might be enough left over for a nice holiday.'
'You did absolutely the right thing, boss,' said Annie, giving her partner a rare and unexpected hug.
‘Hey … but wait a minute. With all the excitement about the raid on the garage and the other drug busts, I’d almost forgotten about Henry’s murder. Did Andy say if the police are going to bring any charges against the Glenn gang for that?’
‘That’s a tricky one, Annie. I think everyone’s fairly certain that Maxie Glenn was heavily involved in Henry’s death, but he’s dead and beyond the reach of the law. And we just don’t know at this stage if any of the other gang members will start talking about how Henry’s murder was actually organised. It’s unlikely that Raymond was present when Henry was thrown off the Dean Bridge. But, if the cops could prove that he knew about it in advance, they might get a conspiracy to commit murder charge to stick. But realistically, I think he would need to be brought back to Scotland before any prosecution could go ahead.’
‘So the creep might get away with that as well?’
‘We have to be realistic, Annie. Yes, there’s a good chance he might never face justice for what he’s done. But he’s still going to pay a heavy price, because he can’t ever come back to Britain and he’s probably going to lose his entire property empire. All things considered, I think we did the best we could for poor old Henry. We helped take down his killers and I hope now he can rest in peace.’
Chapter 60
A week later, Jack and Annie invited Jamie along to the Royal Bar for an after work drink.
‘So how are things with you, young man?’ asked Jack as the trio settled into a corner booth.
‘I’m good, thanks,’ replied Jamie. ‘Although I must admit life seems pretty dull, after the excitement of the Edinburgh job. Have you got anything else lined up that I can maybe help you with?’
‘We’ve only got a couple of routine inquiry jobs on the go at the moment, but I’ll definitely be in touch if something more interesting comes along. Meantime, I’m sure this will help to cheer you up.’ Jack handed Jamie an envelope.
‘What’s this, my P45?’
‘Not quite, open it and see.’
Jamie tore open the envelope and gasped in surprise as he pulled out a cheque for five thousand pounds. ‘I don’t understand … what’s this for? Who do you want killed?’
Jack smiled and said, ‘relax buddy, it’s a bonus for the great work you did with the drone in Edinburgh.’
‘But that wasn’t work, it was fun and I enjoyed helping you both. Honestly I can’t take this, Jack, it’s far too much.’
‘Wait, let me explain. Guy Brodie settled our Invoice promptly, which was great because I was worried he’d run out of money. But just yesterday he also made an ex gratia payment into our business account, specifically for services rendered in helping to nail the Glenn brothers. And we simply couldn’t have done that without you, Jamie. So we both agreed that the bonus money from Guy should be split three ways. So that’s your share. Enjoy.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘I have a suggestion, why don’t you try saying … what would you like to drink?’ said Annie with a smile, turning her empty glass upside down.
As Jamie went to the bar to buy another round, Annie’s aunt Peggie, the formidable landlady of the Royal Bar, came across and sat down beside them.
‘Ah, so the wanderers have returned,’ she said, with a slight edge to her voice. ‘I thought maybe you weren’t speaking, because it’s been so long since you’ve been to see me. I was starting to think you prefer life with the toffs, over in the so-called capital city.’
‘You’re absolutely right,’ joked Jack. ‘We just popped back to see how the other half lives.’
‘Actually, quite a few of the people we met in Edinburgh were definitely not toffs,’ said Annie. ‘But I am heading back there on Saturday night, for a dinner date.’
‘Ooh, a dinner date is it? Get her,’ said auntie Peg. ‘And dare we ask who your dining companion might be?
‘Of course, it’s Guy Brodie. You know, the client we were working for in Edinburgh. Oh, and his friend Danni will be there as well. A lot has happened since I last saw them both and they just want to catch up.’
Jack butted in at that point. ‘To avoid any confusion here, Peggie, I should explain that Danni is a woman.’
‘Ah, so it’s a threesome. Very nice, I like them.’
‘No, it’s just a nice meal and a chat, that’s all. Believe it or not, auntie, it’s quite possible to meet up with two interesting and attractive people, without immediately jumping into bed with them.’
‘If you say so,’ said an unconvinced Peggie. ‘But don’t rule anything out and remember what I told you the last time we had a chat. Use it or lose it.’
‘But you were kidding, right? You know … about the threesomes,’ said Jack, his curiosity piqued.
‘Oh, don’t be so shocked, I’ve only had a couple,’ said Peggie nonchalantly, as a deathly hush suddenly descended on the Royal Bar, with all ears straining to catch more details of the mature landlady’s lurid love life.
Jack and Annie stared open-mouthed and Jamie blushed furiously as aunt Peggie enthusiastically filled in the details. ‘The first one was okay, quite hard work but still great fun as long as you remember to pace yourself. And much better than going to the gym. But the really good thing, Annie, is that you have a back-up.’
‘Sorry? What do you mean?’
‘Well if they’re both older guys and one of them is a one-minute wonder, or maybe has brewer’s droop.’
‘Come on, why were you staring at me when you said that?’ said Jack defensively.
‘I wasn’t staring,’ continued Peggie, with a twinkle in her eye.
‘Anyway, I’m just pointing out that, if one guy can’t rise to the occasion, his mate can jump into the saddle and finish the job off properly. So it’s a kind of insurance, like having a spare wheel in the boot of your car.’
‘Thanks for the tip,’ said Annie uncertainly. ‘I’ll try and remember that.’
‘But all things considered,’ continued Peggie, now in full flow. ‘If I have a choice, I do prefer to go for younger men these days.’
Jamie nervously edged his stool further away from Peggie at that point and appeared to be calculating if it was possible to clear the intervening horseshoe bar, with a back somersault. From a seated position.
‘But, although the young guys are usually pretty fit, because of all the time they spend in the gym, they do tend to be a bit on the thick side. So don’t be expecting any stimulating conversation, either before or after.’
‘Auntie please, that’s a bit strong.’
A grudging apology was then offered up by Peggie, as she reached across to pat Jamie’s thigh and said condescendingly, ‘sorry, son, present company excepted. I know you’re a bit different … a weedy wee brain box, at least according to Annie. Anyway, as I was saying, most of the young team haven’t got a clue about what’s happening in the wider world. In fact, some of them I’ve been out with were so dim they couldn’t find their arse in a darkened room. But hey, that doesn’t matter as long as they can find my arse in a darkened room, right?’
A brief pause for a burst of filthy cackling and thigh slapping. ‘Because I’m not hooking up with them to chat about the migrant crisis in Europe, or what can be done about the nuclear threat from North Korea. Isn’t that right, Annie?’
‘Well, yes. I suppose so, auntie,’ said Annie who was by this point squirming with embarrassment and praying the ground would open up and swallow her.
Jack, by contrast, was enjoying himself hugely. He leant towards Annie and whispered, ‘I really enjoyed our spell in Edinburgh, Annie, but you must admit you would never find this kind of entertainment in an Edinburgh pub.’
‘I think, on balance, that’s probably a good thing, boss,’ said Annie, gulping down her vodka and Red Bull.
Jack then prompted Peggie to continue with her ribald tales. ‘You said before that you’ve had two threesomes. Dare I ask about … you know? The other one.’
‘Christ, what a night that was, Jack. I’m sure I’ve still got traces of bite marks on my arse. One of the guys was an amateur gymnast and I think his mate was a professional scuba diver. Talk about being fit, those two guys were some tag team and I was a total grease spot by the time we were finished. Actually, one of them had the video camera on his phone running in the hotel room and I’m pretty sure you can still see the highlights for yourself, if anyone’s interested. I think he put the video up on the Clyde Banger Babes website.’
The Royal Bar’s free Wi-Fi service immediately went into meltdown, with wisps of smoke appearing from the router, as twenty-eight drinkers in the bar simultaneously attempted Google searches on their smartphones for Clyde Banger Babes.
‘Just kidding,’ said Peggie slapping her thigh once more and roaring with laughter, as she stood up and glared around the bar. ‘That was a test. I just wanted to see how many of the pathetic losers who drink in here would stoop so low as to listen in on a lady’s private and personal conversation. And now I know. All of you.’
Jack hooted with laughter again, before succumbing to a violent choking fit.
However, when he recovered his composure, he found that he was now the subject of Peggie’s steely gaze. ‘So, Mr Davidson, now that I’ve brought you fully up to date on the state of my love-life. I think it’s only fair that you do the same for yours. A little bird told me recently that, when you finally emerged from your man-cave and re-joined the world, you started to dip your toe in the on-line dating scene. So it’s time for you to share some of juicy bits. Now.’
Another deathly hush descended on the crowded Royal Bar, as all eyes once again focused on the corner booth.
Jack looked around and coughed nervously before saying, ‘you’re a pretty tough act to follow, Peggie, and I’m afraid that my modest efforts pale into insignificance compared to your, er … adventures.’
‘I’ll be the judge of that, Jack, thank you. Please continue.’
‘Okay, but I’ve been pretty busy working, remember. So I’ve only been out with two women, so far.’
‘Was that separately or together?’
‘Separately.’
‘Any men?’
‘Nope, no men. And, before you ask, no threesomes, mixed foursomes or farm animals either. So far.’
‘I’m really disappointed in you, Jack Davidson. I honestly thought you were a bit more adventurous than that. So it’s just been dead straight vanilla action. Huh … dullsville.’
‘I’m afraid so, and actually not very much action either, now I come to think about it. But, remember I’m just getting started.’
‘Ah, that reminds me,’ said Peggie with a wicked grin. ‘Could one of you dozy buggers sitting at the bar, stop playing pocket billiards for a minute and reach under the counter. My iPad is in the drawer right below the till. Bring it over.’
One of Peggie’s slaves did as requested and obediently trotted across the bar to deliver the device, which sprang to life at a dating website page.
‘Okay, listen up everyone because we’re going to play a little game now. I’m going to read out a profile of one of the men on this dating website, and you have to try and guess who it is. I know you all have limited attention spans so, to keep you interested, the winner gets free beer until chucking out time tonight.’
‘Ready? Here goes … ‘I’m fit for my age and a moderate social drinker.’
‘Well that rules out everyone in here for a start,’ said one of the wags at the bar, sparking general hilarity.
Peggie continued reading. ‘I am a solvent home owner, with my own business. I’ve been married before and I’d now like to meet an attractive younger woman, who likes popular music and takes an interest in world news.’
‘I’ve got it. It must be Rupert Murdoch?’ opined another toper. Cue more guffaws of laughter.
‘That’s a very good answer, but it’s not the right answer,’ said Peggie, smiling broadly.
‘Okay then, settle down … here’s another clue from this likely lad’s profile and I think it’s probably best if you all have your sick bags ready. ‘I love long walks, visits to the theatre and romantic candlelit dinners, followed by rose petals, chocolates and champagne.’
Amid all of the groans and raspberries, one of Peggie’s excited regulars shouted, ‘I’ve got it … this profile. It must be Graham Norton, right?’
Shaking her head in frustration, Peggie replied, ‘no wait, I’m going to give you a really strong clue. The person described in this profile is actually right here in the bar tonight.’
The patrons of the Royal Bar looked around at each other in complete bewilderment, before shaking their heads and staring blankly at Peggie.
‘Okay, I can’t make it any bloody easier for you. Pass the sodding iPad around and check out his picture for yourself.’
As a huddle of customers immediately gathered around the iPad, Jack glared at Annie and hissed angrily, ‘did you set this up with her?’
‘No, of course not. She trawls all of the dating sites every day, using her iPad, and she must have come across your profile by accident. You know what she’s like.’
‘I didn’t before, but I do now.’
Five minutes of fevered scrutiny of the iPad passed, without yielding a positive ID. Then one of the older regulars sitting at the bar finished polishing his reading glasses, before taking a really close second look at the profile picture.
‘I know this will sound totally mad, guys, but I think this picture looks a bit like Jack.’
‘Who? Jack Davidson?’
‘Yeah, Jack. He’s sitting at the corner table over there.’
The patrons of the Royal Bar turned as one to stare at a mortified, red faced Jack Davidson.
Annie leant towards Jack and whispered, ‘what was it you were saying a minute ago, about not being able to find this kind o
f entertainment in an Edinburgh pub?’
However, if Jack thought his embarrassing ordeal was over, he was sadly mistaken. A scrum immediately developed around the iPad as the profile picture was re-examined. The upshot of this impromptu steward’s inquiry was a loud chorus of complaints and boos emanating from the disgruntled regulars of the Royal Bar.
‘No fucking way. This guy is ten years younger, for a start.’
‘And at least a stone and a half lighter.’
‘And he doesn’t have any wrinkles or big bits of loose skin around his neck.’
'Hey, wait a minute. Get fucking Trading Standards on the phone,’ muttered a disgruntled loser, with a litigious streak. ‘Jack Davidson looks absolutely nothing like this guy.’
‘I agree,’ added his rather fey companion. ‘This is a good looking guy. And wearing that sweet retro tuxedo, he could be George Clooney’s body double or even the next James Bond. I’d go out on a date with him myself, in a heartbeat.’
Peggie then brought the impromptu competition to a close. ‘Okay everybody, stop. I’m getting bored with this. We have a winner and it’s the wee fat guy wearing the specs, with the horrible dog breath, who correctly recognised Jack Davidson. Well done, Shug, or whatever your name is. You win a night of free beer, pal. But don’t go mad, okay?’
As the stream of catcalls and laughter directed towards him gradually subsided, Jack held his head in his hands and groaned, ‘this is terrible, Annie. I'll definitely need to find another boozer, because I can't show my face in here ever again. I’m a complete laughing stock.’
Having also been on the receiving end of Peggie’s sharp tongue and sarcasm, Jamie whispered sympathetically to Jack, ‘you know how I joked before about offering to kill someone for the five thousand? Actually, I’d do her for nothing.’
Feeling more than a tinge of guilt Annie said, ‘wait a minute, boss, I’ve got an idea.’
She stood up on her chair and tapped her glass, until she had everyone’s attention, before addressing the crowded bar. ‘As my auntie Peg just said, the guy who correctly identified Jack is the winner, so congratulations to Shug. But I have a confession to make, because it was actually me who doctored Jack’s picture, with Photoshop, and then made up all of his profile details. I wanted to encourage him to have a go at online dating, so I posted it for a laugh just to see what would kind of response there was. And it was incredible, because he got loads of replies from women all over the world. But it was really nothing to do with him, okay?’
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