“I thought this was something we should discuss in person.” He had a full list of reasons she should say yes. He’d considered emailing them to her during the week, but thought he might have more success face-to-face. He headed into the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch, just as he had last time.
“Jake.” She hovered between the hall and living room. “I appreciate the offer, but I have to say no.”
Since he’d been prepared for this, Jake wasn’t taken aback. “Can I ask why?”
She came in from the hall and sat on the chair on the opposite side of the room. He’d have to cross the table and rug, not to mention her cool veneer, to even reach her. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m a cohost now. I can’t just give that up to go racing around the world.”
He nodded. “You wouldn’t have to give it up. We can work around your schedule. I’m confident the airline would be amenable to that. And we can shoot on weekends.”
She blinked at him. “Really?”
“Really.” He’d even gone so far as to bounce the idea off the airline and Hanna to make sure they were flexible enough to accommodate such a schedule. “Is that your only concern?”
“No.” But she didn’t elaborate. She picked at the knee of her jeans. She was wearing one of those silky shirts that clung to her body and made him get all hot and bothered. He was glad he hadn’t worn a jacket.
“What else then?”
“You.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, things didn’t go so well the last time we worked together.” She still wasn’t looking at him.
“I know, but this time it can be different.” He was willing to let her set the tone. Friends, lovers, enemies, colleagues, whatever she wanted. “We can be different.”
“Can we?”
He nodded and pulled out a sheaf of papers from the folder he’d carried in. “This is a contract I had drawn up for you. Of course, you can have a lawyer look it over, make suggestions or changes, but I think you’ll see it offers fair compensation.”
He slid the papers across the table toward her. She scooted forward far enough to pick them up, then moved. The cute little wrinkle between her brows appeared and he knew she’d gotten to the salary line. “This much?”
“That much.” A pittance to ensure success. “Unless you want to ask for more.”
“No.” She shook her head. Her hair was longer now, and he imagined running his fingers down the length of it. “It’s more than fair, but—”
“You’ll get to stay at the station.” He started talking before she could finish that thought. “You’ll get to host your own show on the side and you’ll make good money. I know it sounds like a lot of work and it will be. But it’s also seasonal. We might have to film every weekend for the first month, but then we could slow to every other.” And probably even further after they had a solid base of shows completed. “I know you were looking for an opportunity to prove what you’re capable of. This is it.”
“That’s a hard pitch,” she said.
“Just pointing out the benefits.” He didn’t mention the one that would have them in close proximity at least forty-eight hours a week. She was wavering; he could tell by the softening of her shoulders. He wasn’t about to scare her off now.
She looked at the contract in her lap, then back at him. “And this is only for the first six months? After that we would either renegotiate or walk away?”
“Only the first six months.” He tried not to think about what would happen if she said no, but his stomach muscles tightened. “If it helps, I’m willing to beg.”
A surprised smile flickered across her lips and disappeared. “I won’t say I haven’t thought of that, but...” She looked at the contract then back at him. Her shoulders dipped. “I can’t turn this down. You’ve got yourself a deal, Jake.”
His tension melted away in a rush of pleasure. “Great.” This would just be the start. Spending all that time together, surely they’d find their way back to each other again. He smiled.
She didn’t smile back. “I’m only agreeing to do the show. I’m not agreeing that we should—” she gestured between them “—whatever this is.”
Disappointment was curtailed by the fact that no matter what she was saying, she clearly still felt the same way he did. It was almost more than he could stand. He forced himself not to rush over and swoop her into a long hug. “Absolutely.” They could work back into it gradually. “Can I at least get a handshake?”
She stood and stuck her hand out. The moment he wrapped his fingers around hers, the “whatever” sizzled and threatened to ignite into a hot burn. He saw the flash mirrored in her eyes. She yanked her hand away. “Okay, well, thanks for coming by.”
He left, managing a friendly smile and goodbye while every part of him wanted to turn around, grab her until she was pressed so close to him that there would be no beginning or end and hold her until she agreed that they should be together. In all ways.
He could wait.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“SO, ARE YOU GOING TO tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to resort to badgering it out of you?”
Ava was so surprised by her mother’s question, she nearly choked on her tea. She was pleased to recover with relative grace, which in this case meant not flinging herself around on her mother’s couch as she attempted to cough liquid from her lungs. Flailing averted, she turned what she hoped was an innocent look her mother’s way. “Pardon?”
“What’s bothering you?” Never one to shy away from the question that would punch a hole in Ava’s heart, Barbara got right to it. She sipped from her delicate china cup. “I didn’t say anything during dinner because you’re looking thin and I thought it was important that you eat, but there’s clearly something wrong. I’d like to help.”
Ava bought some time by sipping her own tea. If she’d known she had this to look forward to, she might have tried to pull off another scheduling conflict. “It’s nothing, Mom. Just some work stuff.”
Barbara merely raised a platinum eyebrow, the same even shade as her hair, and waited.
It was a game Ava was used to losing. “I’m going to be hosting Jake’s travel show,” she said in a rush. There—it was out. “And I’m not leaving the station, so you don’t have to worry about career stability, okay?”
“Ava, that’s fantastic.”
It was the response she’d expected, but she wasn’t feeling so fantastic inside. She was nervous, but she couldn’t say that to her mother. For one thing, Barbara didn’t get nervous. And for another, Ava had never come clean about her relationship with Jake.
“So why don’t you look happy? Ava?” The gentleness of her mother’s voice and the kind light in her eye made the thin veneer Ava had been clinging to start to crumble.
“I’m just worried, that’s all.” She could feel the shuddering in her chest. She didn’t want to cry, but her eyes had other ideas. “I think I might be in over my head.”
“Oh, darling.” The second Ava started crying, Barbara was off the chair and onto the couch, opening her arms wide and hugging her close. “You’re fine. It’s okay.” She made soothing shushing noises while Ava wept. The feel of her mother’s steady hands stroking up and down her back, being surrounded by her familiar scent, only made Ava cry harder. “It’s all right. Don’t cry. What’s bothering you?”
“I don’t know,” she sobbed.
“Then we’
ll figure it out together.”
It took Ava another minute to gather her composure, but when she saw the look in her mother’s eye she felt like crying all over again. “No.” She raised a hand in warning. “If you say we’re going to write a list, I cannot be held accountable for what might happen.”
“Don’t be silly, dear.” Her mother patted her on the shoulder. “Everything makes more sense when you get it down on paper.” Barbara rubbed her back a few more times before getting up to retrieve a pen and some paper from the antique writing desk that stood in the corner of the room. Ava used to do her homework at that desk, flipping down the front and pulling up a kitchen chair. Her mother had insisted when she’d learned that Ava’s idea of homework while in her bedroom consisted of hurrying through her assignments and spending the rest of her time reading Tiger Beat.
Her mother sat back down, laying the creamy monogrammed stationery on the table and uncapping the felt-tipped pen she’d received from the hospital for twenty years of service. “Let’s start from the beginning.”
Since there was no good place to start, Ava just spilled everything out. Her belief that she was going to be the host of Jake’s travel show, the effort she’d put into it, getting the cohost promotion, the fight with Jake, that she was spending most nights alone on her couch, and she was thinking of getting a cat. “They just look so sad online. Their furry little faces with no one to love them.”
Her mother blinked at her. “I’m confused. You’re upset about a cat?”
“No. I don’t want to be a crazy cat lady.”
Her mother shook her head and kept writing, then read the list over. “So the gist is that you and Jake broke up, but you’ve agreed to work with him on this project anyway and you’re concerned that you might get your heart broken again?”
“How did you know that? I didn’t tell you that.”
“Really, dear? It’s all here.” She tapped the list with her pen. But when Ava started to tear up again, Barbara gathered her into a loving embrace. “Oh, Ava. Now do you see why I warned you about getting involved with a colleague?”
“I didn’t expect it to turn out like this.” She cried into her mother’s shoulder until her eyes felt puffy. “And I still care about him.”
“Does he feel the same way?”
“We didn’t really talk about it.” Well, Ava had told him that nothing was going to happen, but that had only been to protect her heart. He hadn’t had to agree so readily. She sniffled. “I should probably just move on and forget about him.” Except that was going to be tricky, given that they’d be spending a lot of time together.
“Do you think you can do that? Because you haven’t been very successful this past month and a half.” Ava would have been annoyed if it weren’t so embarrassingly true. Her mother’s fingers were cool as she brushed the hair off her face. “I think you need to talk to him face-to-face.”
“No.”
“Yes.” Her mother nodded. “Call him and make an appointment to discuss this.”
“It’s not a business transaction, Mom. And no, that is not happening.” She threw herself against the back of the couch and crossed her arms over her chest in a smooth motion that would have made her teenage self proud.
“Ava, you’re being ridiculous.”
“This coming from the woman who’s avoided all romantic contact for twentysomething years.”
A light flush colored her mother’s cheeks. “We aren’t talking about my life, but for the record, I am seeing someone.”
“What?” Ava’s arms dropped to her sides and for the first time in weeks all thoughts of her own life vanished. “You? You’re dating? A man?”
“Yes, a man.”
“Who? Do I know him? Where did you meet him? How could you keep this a secret from me?”
“I met him on one of those computer sites.”
Now Ava was really gobsmacked. “You met him online?” Who was this woman and what had she done with her mother? “How did you manage that? You can barely work email.”
“I am perfectly adept at the email,” Barbara said. “And one of the women at the office helped me. She often invites me to join her and her husband for evenings and said she was tired of me turning her down because I didn’t have a date. So she set up, what is it called, a profile?”
Ava shook her head, still processing this chunk of information. She could only imagine what her mother’s profile would read. Urban professional seeks same. Must like: eating out, antiquing and having someone up in your business at all times. “I can’t believe you’re online dating.”
“That’s not technically true anymore.” A small smile flitted across her lips. “Or is it still dating when you’re only seeing one person?
Not only was her mother dipping her toes into the dating pool, but she’d actually met someone that had tempted her enough to dive in? “Give me a minute.” Ava put a hand to her heart. “This is kind of a shock.”
Barbara waited a grand total of about thirty seconds and then said, “Enough about me. Will you call Jake tonight or wait until morning?”
But Ava was still stuck on the fact that her mother had a better and busier love life than she did. “Is that how you changed your cell ringtone?” The color in Barbara’s cheeks darkened. “I knew you couldn’t have done that on your own.”
“As it turns out, I did do it on my own. With a little help from Gary.”
“Gary. Now we’re getting somewhere. And what does Gary do for a living?”
“He’s a psychiatrist.”
“Of course he is.” Since Barbara couldn’t get Ava into medical school, this was obviously the next best thing. Ava shook her head. “I cannot believe that my mother is dating a shrink.”
“That is a derogatory term for someone who helps people in great need.” Barbara brushed at the knees of her pants. “And he would say that you are showing classic signs of avoidance.”
“How is this avoidance? I’m showing interest in your life.”
“Yes, but only because you’d rather not deal with your own.” Barbara reached out and tucked a lock of Ava’s hair into place. “Gary says you can’t live your life being afraid to try. Well, actually you can, but it isn’t really living.”
Ava pondered that, considered how things might play out if she were to phone Jake and tell him that she needed to see him. Fear closed her throat. She took a shaky sip of tea to ease it. “So you think I should what—try again? Tell Jake that I need more time? Or say that pigs will fly first?”
“It isn’t my decision.”
“That’s never stopped you from telling me what to do before.” Ava could think of a thousand examples. From what kind of degree she should get to what kind of cereal she should eat for breakfast, Barbara Christensen always had an opinion that she wasn’t afraid to share.
“Gary told me that my need to advise comes from a need to control things. I’ve decided that’s something I should work on.”
“Did he?” Ava grinned. “I think I might like this guy.”
“You will,” Barbara said. “I want you to do what makes you happy. Go see Jake. You’ll know what to say.”
But that’s where her mother was wrong. Ava didn’t have a clue and she wasn’t sure she was ready to find out.
* * *
“YOU HAVEN’T TALKED to him since you agreed to do the show?”
Ava was out for dinner with Jilly at a Japanese restaurant after work on Wednesday. Ava was still wearing her heavy eye makeup from the
show, but Jilly swore it looked good. Like Cleopatra and not a Goth.
“I don’t know what to say to him.” A spread of small plates sat on the table in front of them as they waited for Hanna, but where Jilly was digging in, Ava could only pick.
“Yeah, no. That’s not going to work.”
“Why not?” Ava had figured it all out. She’d even, much to her chagrin, written a list. And while it didn’t expose all the deep secrets she was hoping for, it had helped her to decide that the only approach she was comfortable with was of the wait-and-see nature. But she still wasn’t telling her mother she was right.
“It won’t work,” Jilly said, “because you still love him.”
“Who loves him?” Hanna dropped onto the low couch beside Jilly and crossed her legs. “I love a good love story.”
“No one loves anyone,” Ava said quickly. “I don’t know what Jilly’s talking about.” And she shot her best friend a look that told her to zip her lips. Hanna had become a friend, but she was also friends with Jake, and Ava couldn’t risk anything getting back to him.
“Ava and Jake,” Jilly answered as though Ava had never even glanced in her direction.
“Jilly.”
“What?” She shrugged and tossed her hair, which was still Hello Kitty pink. “I don’t know why you’re fighting it. You’re clearly still cuckoo for him.”
“I’m not,” Ava said, feeling embarrassment crawl up her neck and onto her cheeks.
“So you just decided to do the travel show out of the goodness of your heart?”
“It was a good opportunity.” But she could hear how weak she sounded. Because, of course, the truth was more than that.
The travel show was his dream. A chance to make his own reputation. And he’d asked for her help. She wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if she’d turned him down.
“It was the right decision,” she told Jilly.
Hanna nodded. “Not to mention it wouldn’t have happened without you.”
That Weekend... Page 28