IN AUGUST 1969, whilst Miriam was on shore leave in Malta, she received out of the blue a telegram from a solicitor in London. It appeared that numerous attempts had been made to contact her in Ireland. If this was to do about Rosie, she hoped to God they hadn’t contacted her parents.
Monro Pennefather& Co
Candlewick House
116 Cannon Street
London EC4
10th August 1969
Dear Madam
We would be grateful, if you could get in touch regarding a matter which arose on 4th September 1967. Perhaps you would be kind enough to telephone us or write to us at the above.
Yours sincerely
Monro Pennefather
She was out of her mind with worry as to whether Rosie was ill or something. All her feelings of bereavement returned. She’d told the lady she had given Rosie to, to be discreet, but to also contact her if anything happened to her baby. She desperately wanted to know she was alright. She would be nearly two now, old enough to walk and talk. She needed to see a photo of her.
She went to the nearest travel agent and asked if she could make an international phone call. The lady behind the desk said that they would charge her two shillings a minute for phone calls to England if that was alright. She didn’t have much choice so she agreed.
After a number of rings the receptionist answered
“Monro Pennefather solicitors, can I help you?”
“I need to speak to David Munro.”
“Can I ask who is calling?”
“Miriam Sullivan-Cody”
She could hear the line go dead as the receptionist put her on hold.
“Oh hello Miriam. I am glad you got in contact. Rosie is fine and doing well. Unfortunately Marjorie’s husband died of a massive heart attack. Marjorie is doing well and would like to finalize the adoption process, as she is now quite attached to Rosie. Could you possibly write in with your contact details?”
“When did he die?” Miriam responded in a state of shock
“January 1968”
She quickly did the maths in her head. That means that Marjorie’s husband died eight weeks after she had given her away. What was going on?
“I’m sorry, but you’ve taken all this time to tell me!” Miriam blurted out somewhat angrily.
“You have been rather difficult to contact.”
She momentarily fell silent. Perhaps she had tried to contact her it was just that she had been on the cruise ship. Perhaps if she’d stayed in England she would have found out sooner. Now it would appear that her daughter was being brought up by a single mother which certainly had not been part of her original plan.
“Now that we have located you, where can we contact you if I don’t mind asking?”
“I’m working on a cruise liner at present and won’t be returning until 10th November, to Malta, where I have an apartment. I’ll write in the meantime.”
And with that she put the phone down. She slowly walked back to the apartment that she had just recently taken on with Lucy in Malta. They found this the perfect base for shore leave as they all spoke English in Malta and the apartments weren’t that expensive. When she got back Lucy was preparing a small salad and some pasta for lunch. She was tossing the dressing in the salad bowl on the kitchen table.
“Good God, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” She exclaimed as Miriam walked through the door.
“It feels like I have.”
“Sit down. I’ll get you a glass of vino to steady the nerves.”
“I got this strange letter from a lawyer today. He was trying to be discreet, but I knew it was about my daughter because it referred to her birthday.”
“Don’t tell me something awful has happened!”
“No, not to her anyway, but the woman I gave her to lost her husband eight weeks after I gave her away. I can’t believe she has waited nearly two years to tell me!”
Miriam placed her head in to her hands and Lucy put a comforting arm around her. She gently edged the glass of wine towards her on the table.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself Miriam. You weren’t to know this was going to happen. When you left the UK, you thought you had put in to place what was necessary for your daughter.”
“I know, but if I’d found out sooner, would that have affected my decision? Probably yes.”
“Maybe this lady thought she would lose this baby if she told you. She’s already lost her husband. She probably needs your baby right now more than ever. Remember how you felt when your brother died?”
“You know what Lucy, if she had told me before, I could have taken Rosie back. I could have found a way.” She said.
“You can’t say that now,” said Lucy. “Look, you didn’t have a choice did you? The father wasn’t interested and you couldn’t have financially supported her.”
“I know, but times are changing. This is nearly the 1970s for god’s sake. Most women are now going on the pill and taking control of their lives, going to work, unlike their mothers did and still bringing up children.”
“Well I think you should think long and hard Miriam, for the child’s sake and for this woman’s sake. Don’t you think they have both suffered enough already?”
All Miriam could do was beat her fists against the table. The torment she felt inside was making her sick. All the memories of the birth came crashing down on her heart. Now, yet again, she was going to have to come to a decision.
She decided to write a letter to the solicitor asking for more information. She couldn’t make a decision, based on her conversation with the solicitor. She realized she hardly knew this woman she had given her baby to nearly two years ago. What if she didn’t have enough money now to support the baby? What if she had to go back to work?
She received her first letter from Marjorie in September, just before her second birthday. She confirmed that Rosie was doing well and that she loved the seaside. She said that her husband had died of a massive heart attack last year. She also said the Court had granted her custody for six months and now she wanted to apply for formal adoption.
“Why did the judge give her custody?” She asked Lucy
“Maybe to protect the interests of the child?”
Miriam wrote back to her with many searching questions. In her mind she was thinking, why had no one contacted her? Why had she given up her baby from one single mother to another? How could she now claim her back? She had deliberately left Marjorie and her husband alone so that she could bond with her baby. Now she felt betrayed. But having lost her elder brother last year, she knew she couldn’t compound her bereavement, by taking Rosie. God knows she was suffering her own bereavement having lost her own child. That bereavement like the loss of a loved one never goes away.
She decided to hand in her notice at work, she couldn’t stay on the cruise ship any longer. She needed to go back to London and sort this mess out.
“Whatever decision you make, make the right one for your child.” Said Lucy.
They gave each other huge hugs and said they would stay in touch. Her flight back to the UK was with a heavy heart. In the letter Marjorie had sent her, were two photos of Rosie which she now kept close to her in her bag. One showed her eyes gazing questioningly at the camera. She wasn’t particularly smiling in that photograph. The other showed her happily playing at the swimming pool. She looked so like Len it hurt.
When Miriam got back to London, it was like stepping back in time. She met up with her sister in Muswell Hill and her daughter Charlotte, who was nearly three now. She recounted the correspondence, she had had with Marjorie.
“The thing is sis, what else can you do? You can’t take her back. You haven’t got enough money to provide for her. Where are you going to work now?”
“I thought I would get a temporary job in Harrods for now. I am just so confused.”
“Can I make a suggestion Miriam, I think you should go back to our parents in Cork for a few days. You will then realize the enormity of this secret that you have
kept from them for so long. How do you think they would take it if they found out now? It would break their hearts. The Church would disown them. You gave away Rosie to protect them. To tell them now that they have another granddaughter that they haven’t seen for two years is nothing short of suicide. Just because Marjorie’s circumstances have changed it doesn’t mean yours have!”
She knew her sister was right. Her heart was just so heavy with emotion right now.
“Listen I will forward any post that comes for you sis, just get the next ferry home.”
“It’s just seeing your daughter Charlotte is a constant reminder of what could have been. You never get over the loss of a child, having to give them up to someone else. You think of them constantly, bereaving their birthdays, bereaving their first steps, their first words. There is not a day I don’t think about Rosie, the baby I never got to hold. Whenever I see another baby I weep inside.”
“You need to hold this one together Miriam for yourself and Marjorie’s sake.”
MARJORIE 1969
LONDON
ON THE 2ND September 1969, Marjorie returned to London, having helped her mother move house in Margate to a smaller bungalow. Waiting for her was a letter from her lawyer, confirming that he had written to two addresses in Cork and also sent a letter via the Ministry of Social Security. Out of the blue, he had received a phone call from Miriam, in Malta. One of the Cork letters had reached her and she was very agitated. He asked her to let him have an address he could write to and said it concerned the adoption of Rosie. He sent Marjorie a copy of her letter to him dated 24th August 1969.
Sovereign Cruises
Malta
Dear Sirs
The particulars we discussed on the telephone can be sent to the given address. I am working on a liner cruising in the Mediterranean and shall not be returning to England before November 1st, but will be returning to Malta every 10 days within the next two months.
Since I received your letter yesterday, I have been out of my mind with worry as to whether the child was ill or something. I am very emotionally upset at the moment, so will need time to think.
During the last two years, I have not contacted the family, to enable them to feel real parental love for the child.
This has been extremely difficult for me at times, particularly on the 4th September and Christmas time.
I want the lady to write to me and assure me this child is really happy and I also want a photograph.
Her happiness is the most important thing and my decision shall be based on that.
Yours sincerely
M Sullivan-Cody
On the 2nd September, Marjorie wrote back to Miriam as follows
29 Dalmeny Road
Barnet
Dear Miriam
I have heard from the solicitors that they have succeeded in contacting you, and that you want to hear from me.
Rosalie is very well and a happy, friendly little girl. I enclose two photos, one of her at the Finchley swimming pool, where I have taken her many times this summer, there is a children’s pool there, as she enjoys it so much. I also took her to Margate in June, and she loved the sands and playing in the sea. In the other photo she is with two children who live next door, they’ve played a lot together this summer, and she is going to their birthdays tomorrow.
My husband died of a heart attack in January last year. He loved Rosalie very much, and we treated her as our daughter in every way and I have continued to do so. My solicitors advised me to apply to adopt her early this year, and when the case came up the Judge emphasized that he was thoroughly satisfied with the home and care I was providing, but that further efforts must be made to trace you, and ask for your consent before he could grant an adoption. So he gave me custody of her, the case to come to court in six months. Perhaps you would like to telephone me, if so my number is 01 4493911.
Yours sincerely
Marjorie
After a fortnight Marjorie received a letter from Malta
Sovereign Cruises
Malta
Dear Mrs Ronson
Forgive me for taking so long in replying to your letter, but I needed time to get over the emotional state, I had been in for a week or so. I realize how anxious you are not to lose Rosalie, particularly by the tragedy of losing your husband. I was very upset on hearing this news and I do realize how much you must need Rosalie right now.
But what is best for the child is most important. I realize she loves you as her mother now and any interference from me would break both your hearts.
But she is still part of me and I feel great concern before I make this final decision to know if you can still support her in the manner you would have done if your husband was alive. I realize the Court must have confidence in you to consider this situation.
But now I feel I must know more and be assured that I am making the right decision.
Over the past 2 years I have thought many times of how quickly I handed Rosalie over to you, with really not knowing enough about you. I realize this is entirely my fault, but I was impressed by you and felt you really wanted a child so much.
I am sorry to keep you waiting for so long, but I do not want to make a rash decision this time because of sentiment, and thereafter wonder throughout my life if she is really happy.
So if you can tell me what plans you have for her, if it will be necessary for you to work to support her, and this is something I don’t like to make a point of, but I think it’s necessary. If anything happened to you, what then?
Please assure me Mrs Ronson and don’t let me hurt you.
My love to you both
Miriam
Marjorie wrote to her on the “3rd September answering her questions
29 Dalmeny Road
Barnet
Dear Miriam
Thank you very much for your letter, I realize you want to be sure that Rosalie is happy and well provided for before you make a decision.
I assure you that she is really happy and lively, and making good progress. The Court was satisfied about this and they do investigate thoroughly before they decide
My husband was comfortably off when he died, and I receive an income from his estate. Because he made this good provision, I am free to look after Rosie myself, and do not go out to work, and shall not need to do so. I am making enquiries about primary schools in the neighbourhood, so as to decide which will be best for her, and get her name down in good time. I have also made arrangements in my Will for her to be cared for should I die, and made financial provision for this. The Court was satisfied on this point.
I fully agree with you that what is best for Rosalie is the most important thing. I can only say that I love and care for her, as my husband and I did from the start, and as I have done during the 20 months since he died. It would have been easier simply to continue in this way, but it would provide Rosalie with greater security to be legally adopted. So I do hope you will feel able to consent to this.”
Marjorie
Marjorie waited 4 weeks for a reply from Miriam, and nothing came so she wrote a brief note asking for a reply. Finally almost seven weeks after she sent her letter in answer to hers, she heard from her in a letter posted in Cork.
Macroom
Cork
Dear Mrs Ronson
I am sorry for the delay in writing.
I did not receive your letters until 2 weeks ago as we by-passed Malta due to bad weather, and then I know it was selfish, but I needed time to think.
I have decided I will agree to the adoption, but if anything should happen to you, the child must be given my address should she wish to contact me.
The most worrying thing in making this decision is that factor. I should hate to think that she may one day end up in an orphanage.
I hope you have a long and happy life and I am sure you will make a good mother. Please send the papers C/O Mrs Barney, 13 Mount View Road, London N4, as I shall return to London Tuesday 11th November.
; God Bless you both
Love Miriam
Marjorie couldn’t believe it! Her prayers had finally been answered. She had agreed in principle to an adoption, all she needed to do now was get her to sign the consent forms.
On 5th September, she received a visit from the children’s officer. She told her that Miriam had been contacted, and she seemed very glad, saying she expected the mother would give her consent, and even if she didn’t it would almost certainly be waived. She talked once more, about why she thought an adoption order was unnecessary. They were sat at the kitchen table sipping their cups of tea.
“Marjorie, it is the relationship with the child that is important, not whether or not the child is adopted. I must say I am highly critical of the delay you instigated in not letting the mother know your change of circumstances. This child may well grow up wanting to contact her real parents.”
“It is because of the anxiety that I have suffered, that I want to adopt her. I feel my anxiety will reflect on Rosie, if I don’t.”
“You must divorce the emotions you had for your husband from the emotions you have for Rosie. It is the mother and child relationship which is important.”
Marjorie said if she were not adopted, she would be caused embarrassment whenever she had to produce a birth certificate, and it was in a different name to the one she was known by. The children’s officer said
“But this will only be three times in her life Marjorie.”
In her letter from Cork Miriam had said she would be coming over to stay with her sister Orla at 13 Mount View Road London N4 on the 11th November. Marjorie rang up her lawyer as she thought this would be the perfect opportunity to send Miriam the consent forms. She also thought it would be a good idea to go and see Miriam, before the children’s officer descended on her as she needed to forewarn her that the children’s officer knew absolutely nothing about Mrs Bangerter.
She went round to Mount View Road, but on sounding the door bell there was no answer. She checked through the letter box and there seemed to be no one at home so she scribbled a note for her to call her that evening when she returned and dropped it through the front door.
That evening she phoned. She seemed a little agitated and said she couldn’t talk for long, but was there a problem?
Abandoned Love Page 16