by Green, Vicki
Slowly.
Painfully.
We lay here in bed. She’s on her stomach, her head facin’ mine. I watch her sleep, afraid to close my eyes. She’ll be leavin’. My hand strokes her back, soothingly. Lovingly. I could look at her forever. I want to but I know she has to go home. She needs to put her past to rest, needs that time. I’d never hold her back, no matter how much I want to keep her here. The moonlight casts a heavenly glow over her. I can see the scars on her back as I rub over them. So much pain. So much loss. I admire her, so much. My eyes grow heavy, my body exhausted. I finally give into it and dream of her.
Caprice
I watch him sleep. His long dark lashes fanned out, shadowing over his cheeks. Most women would kill for those. Then again, most women would kill to be with him. Have him fill them inside. As I run my finger over the soft skin of his arm, listening to his light breathing, it hits me so hard I about let out a gasp. I love him. My mind quickly wanders to Hattie, what she must have felt for him, even at such an early age. A pang of hurt hits me. I miss her. So much. I raise my head, looking at the clock on his nightstand. Seven fifteen. I need to get up, go home and get my things so Shiloh and Colby can take me to the airport. I lay my head back down, not wanting to leave my cozy spot. By seven thirty I make myself get up, kissing his warm cheek as I do. He doesn’t stir. Worn out from his day of work yesterday and night time activities. I smile, my body sore from my own exertion last night. Memories flood me, fill me, from being with him, as I get dressed. I take one last look at him. My heart wanting to stay so badly but I know I must go.
Finally, I make myself leave, struggling with the loss of him already. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen, finding a pen and a piece of paper in a drawer. Tears flow onto the paper as I write him a note. I leave it on the breakfast bar and with a heavy heart, I drive home.
When I reach the driveway and park, I slowly get out of my car and walk to the house. Shiloh is sitting on the couch when I walk in. She gives me a knowing smile, sad but sincere. Reluctantly, I go upstairs, take a shower, brush my teeth, and put the last of my bathroom things into my suitcase. Shiloh puts her arm around me as we walk to Colby’s truck, no words are spoken and sadness surrounds us. When they drop me off at the airport, I didn’t think Shiloh and I would be able to let each other go. We hugged each other tight, me promising I’d keep her up to date and her telling me to hurry back but to find my peace. My eyes and face full of my tears lead me in the doors. I sat and waited for about forty-five minutes before boarding.
I’ve never flown before and I must say I found it exciting, exhilarating. Not going to lie. Takeoff was a little scary but once we are in the air, it was fascinating. The flight seemed not nearly long enough. It only took a little over three hours. Of course the time difference left me a little tired, even though Texas is only an hour later. I’m sure my crying didn’t help my eyes. As the lawyer, Mr. Erwin, had promised, there is a car waiting for me when I arrived. A limo in fact, which seems a little overboard. The driver is an older gentleman, maybe in his late forties/early fifties. He has dark hair tucked under a drivers cap, graying around the sides. A kind face but very serious looking. He picks up my suitcase and puts it in the trunk then opens the back door for me. I feel like people are staring but right now, I don’t care. The familiar sights pass by as he drives me to the lawyer’s office, my heart beating rapidly as memories flood my mind. It’s been almost four years since I’ve been here yet I remember things as if it were yesterday. The ballpark where Dad used to take us to watch the games, the laughter as we watched and kidded around with each other. The park where I fell countless times, skinning and scraping my knees and legs as I played on the equipment there or running around having a blast with my friends.
He pulls into a parking lot, driving around back. My confusion sets in as he stops at a back door, gets out and then opens mine for me. He tells me to follow him and leads the way to some elevators, the doors open and we step in. I don’t ask any questions, knowing I’ll have plenty when we reach Mr. Erwin’s office. Oh, do I have questions. The elevators stop with a small jolt and the doors open slowly. Anxiousness and exhaustion starts to take hold of me. I follow him out and then down a hall. Looking around, I feel so weird with how plush everything is. He stops at the end of the hall and opens a door for me. I walk into a large waiting room, the driver following behind me.
“Miss Greer has arrived,” he speaks. I turn my head around then back again, looking at a very nicely dressed woman behind a reception desk. She looks up, smiles at him then at me.
She stands and walks around her desk. “Very good. Miss Greer, Mr. Erwin is expecting you. Please follow me.” I nod and look over my shoulder at the driver as I follow. He walks out the door and I turn back before I do something stupid, like fall or bump into something. I feel so out of my element here, my curiosity piqued even more with the royal type treatment. She opens the left door of the double doors, not knocking first. I walk past her into a very large office, with the finest of furniture and a young man sitting behind a huge desk. Behind him is a wall of windows, the scenery beautiful.
“Ah! Miss Greer,” he greets as he stands. He holds his arm out towards a high back leather chair in front of his desk. “Please have a seat.” His smile is gorgeous. His hair dark, black, his eyes a dark brown. His face is free of any hair. It looks smooth and soft, unblemished. He’s rather built. I can almost see his muscles underneath his shirt and suit coat. He looks to be maybe in his late twenties and his empty ring finger doesn’t go unnoticed. I nod, folding my dress up underneath me, as I sit down where he directed. He gives me a smile, the white of his teeth showing. “Would you care for something to drink? We have any kind of soda, bottled water, tea, or coffee.”
“Um. A Coke would be nice,” I speak, my throat raw and scratchy from lack of use.
He looks up at the woman behind me, and I swiftly turn my head in time to see her leave, closing the door behind her. I turn back, watching him sit down in his big leather office chair and clasping his hands in front of him on the desk. “I hope your flight was smooth?” I nod, still not knowing what all is going on, ready to go see my house. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions but first, let me give you my sincere condolences on the loss of your parents.” I swallow hard, demanding my tears not to appear until I get home. I give him a nod, unable to speak, choked up by my emotions. He picks up a folder, opens it and takes out a paper, then sets the folder down. Just then the door opens behind me. The woman walks in and sets down a tall glass filled with ice and a bottle of Coke next to it. “That’ll be all, Miss Burke. Thank you.” She nods and walks out, the soft click of the door sounding behind me. He reaches over and twists off the cap of the bottle then pours some into the glass until it’s full, replacing the cap. He sits back, paper in hand, and clears his throat. “I know this is difficult, especially after all this time. Know that I had put out a missing persons on you but after a year it was void. My father was a close friend of your fathers since school. When my father became ill, I took over his business. I knew your father for a brief time. It was a difficult loss for my father as well. Please know he told me so many times how upset he was to learn of your father and mother’s deaths.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. I lean over and pick up the glass, taking a much needed drink. I put it back on his desk, afraid I would spill it on the very expensive looking carpet.
He gives me a sad smile. “I’m not going to read this all to you and will give it to you to keep but I’ll go over the biggest points.” I nod again, my fingers pulling on each other in my lap in nervousness. “It seems your father, as did mine, played in the stock market, making very wise choices. Miss Greer…. May I call you Caprice?” I nod again, my stomach in knots. I may be sick. “Thank you. Of course the house is yours as well as all the contents inside but you, being the sole heir, also have inherited one point five million dollars, give or take a f
ew hundred.”
I almost fall out of my chair. In fact, I grab hold of both arm rests in order not to do just that. “I’m sorry?” I clear my throat, shaking my head. “I don’t think I understand.” My hands are shaking. I think my whole body is.
He smiles again, his white teeth gleaming. “I’m sure it’s quite a shock.” He leans forward and rests his arms on the desk. “Caprice. You’re a millionaire.” I shake my head. I can’t be. Dad made a great living, we always had everything we needed and more but that much money? It has to be a mistake.
“Something has to be wrong. He made a good living but I never knew about all this money. It has to be a mistake.” My heart feels lodged in my throat. I take another drink of my Coke, trying to push it down.
“I’m afraid there’s no mistake. The money is sitting at a local bank in an account with your name on it. All you have to do is claim it. I have the proper paperwork here for you to sign then my driver will be happy to take you there and then to your home.” His smile grows as he sits back. I had no idea Dad played the stock market. Of course like most Dad’s, I thought he was the smartest man in the world but this is beyond what I could have ever imagined. “I can handle everything for you, if you allow me to. Any financial decisions, accounting, all for a retainer fee. Of course, I’m sure you’re overwhelmed and in remorse over your loss. Please think about it, though.” He picks up the paper and moves my drink and bottled soda out of the way, setting it down in front of me. He picks up a pen and holds it out for me. “If you care to read through it, please be my guest. I’m afraid it’s full of legal jargon but I’d be happy to clarify any of it for you.”
I nod and take the pen, picking up the paper and begin to read. He’s right. It’s like a foreign language. It takes about an hour and a half with him explaining things to me. By the time we’re done, I lean down and sign the bottom. This is all so surreal, like I’m dreaming it all.
“Frank will take you to the bank and then home. Here’s my card.” He stands and holds out his card. I take it as I stand and put it in my purse. “Anytime you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call.” He holds out his hand and I shake it. He seems nice enough, his dad a friend of my dads. Should be able to trust him, I hope. He walks around the desk and I follow him to the door. When he opens it, the driver, Frank, is standing right outside. I give Mr. Erwin a nod and thank him then follow Frank back down in the elevator and into the limo.
As we ride along the familiar streets, I feel so weird. Being here, finding out I came into money and having to go home – the place I haven’t been to in years. I’m not sure which thing is making me so queasy the most. Maybe all of them. Another hour at the bank. I’m treated like I’m a princess or something. All the unwanted attention making me even sicker to my stomach. I sign everything not taking any money out, was taken to the vault and given a tour of the bank, and was offered champagne, which I turned down. All I wanted to do was go home. Finally, he turns on my old street. Nothing’s changed, all the same houses, the lawns kept up, and flowers starting to bloom already. We arrive at the curb of my house and I freeze. It looks the same. Someone’s been mowing the yard and watering. Looks like it’s been repainted recently too. I wonder if Mr. Erwin had something to do with that. The car dips as Frank gets out, I hear him in the trunk behind me. I startle when he slams the door and then look up at him when he opens mine. I can’t move, scared to go inside. I knew this moment would come but now I’m reeling with my emotions.
“I know it’s hard, Miss Greer. Will you be okay?” His serious face has softened.
My eyes focus in on him, and I nod, swallowing hard. I take his outstretched hand and step out of the car. He begins to walk to the driveway and I follow, slowly. A car is covered in the drive. Most likely it’s Hattie’s mustang convertible. She loved that car. When he reaches the front door, he takes out a set of keys and unlocks it. Once the door is open he carries my suitcase inside, setting it down on the floor in the front hallway. I stand still at the entrance, my entire body shaking. I barely feel him place a card in my purse telling me to call him if I need anything and reminding me I have Mr. Erwin’s card as well. I think I nodded but I’m not sure. I look around, not entering, and see the living room to the right, a small glance of the family room in front of me, and the few stairs in my view to the left that lead up to the bedrooms. I take a deep breath as I enter, closing the door behind me. There’s no musty smell, things seem to be clean, even the tiled floor in the entryway. It’s been well taken care of. I walk straight ahead and into the family room. Everything is as it was before, even the long green shag carpet. My eyes fill with tears but I let out a small laugh. So outdated but Mom loved it.
One step at a time.
I walk through the room, memories enveloping me. Hattie and me racing through, trying to get out the door to get to school on time, laughing. Sitting on the couch watching a movie with the family, eating popcorn. I make it through and into the kitchen, the light green with white specked linoleum squeaking with my footsteps. A piece of paper rests on the table so I walk over, setting my purse down and pick it up.
Miss Greer,
I know it will be most difficult to get through the next several days. Please know that I am here for you any time, day or night. I’ve taken the liberty to keep up maintaining the house and yard and took great pride in it. I did it for you but for my father as well. He and yours were such good friends. I hope you feel you can trust me to take care of anything financial for you. My company was founded by my father and rest assured you are safe with me.
As always,
Grant Erwin
Well, that explains why everything is so well taken care of. I feel like I can trust him but I don’t have time to think about that right now. I leave my purse and the note and walk back through the family room and slowly climb the seven stairs up to my old room. I stop at the doorway, my eyes shift. I don’t think I can go into Mom and Dad’s room or Hattie’s just yet.
One step at a time.
I walk into my old room, taking a much needed deep breath, feeling like all the oxygen left the room. My twin bed is made, still pushed against the far wall. My small 13” TV still perched on the shelf on the wall across from it, along with all the knick-knacks surrounding it and the shelves above and below it. I’m amazed at how the daisy wallpaper still looks like new, the white and purple polka dots around them. It kind of makes me a little dizzy now but back then, this was my world. I kick my shoes off and walk across the soft purple carpet, climb onto my bed and lay down on my back. The poster of the movie stars and singers I loved so much still taped on the ceiling and plastered over the wallpaper all around my room. My head turns and I stare at my parents’ bedroom door. I roll over and close my eyes, tears flowing from them. This is going to be so much harder than I ever imagined.
Chapter Ten
Trevor
The day is the longest I think I’ve ever had. Been through so much shit in my life but I think this is the worst. Today’s only the first day she’s gone and I’m already missin’ her so badly I can hardly stand it. So many regrets. Why did I wait so long? I should have gone over to Shiloh’s the very next day and talked to Prie, apologized. All this wasted time we could have had together but my damn stubbornness, brooding, ruined it as always. Yes, I had things to deal with but I know now she would have helped me get through them. Now, I may have lost the best thing ever to enter my life.
When I woke up this mornin’ and found my arms empty, her side of the bed vacant, I jumped up and ran downstairs. She was gone. I found a note she left me on the breakfast bar, my heart heavy and breakin’ as I read it.
Trevor,
You’re my light, my being. I wish I was still in your arms instead of where I must go. I hope once I’m even stronger yet, I’ll be right back there. You’re the one who taught me to be strong, to deal with my past, and for that I’m
forever grateful. Last night was unforgettable. Please take your own advice and try to make peace with your past. You need to as much as I do. I’ll always see your face, feel your strong arms around me, and remember everything you’ve taught me.
Remember me. I’ll never forget you.
Prie
I ‘bout crumble the paper as the tears flow freely. Such a wise young woman, teachin’ me my own lessons. Make peace with your past. She’s right, I know. What if she doesn’t come back? What if she’s changed so much she doesn’t want me? Things like this can make a man go stir crazy. So, I fold up the note as neatly as I can and tuck it in my back pocket, feelin’ like she’s close to me. I leave the house and go down to the barn and start my mornin’ chores. All day I’ve been thinkin’, if she does come back, I need to be better. I need to be the man she deserves. I need to be me again. I need to fight for her. I’ll never be innocent like I was before everythin’ happened to me but I can get back to bein’ the man I was meant to be. I have to make sure if she comes back that I make her happy, love her the way she’s meant to be loved. God! I love her. I love her with my heart and soul. She makes me feel alive, like there’s somethin’ to live for, not just every day motions but actually live.