She nodded. Unable to speak for fear that she’d blurt out her feelings for him and ruin everything. Right now she had a deep-seated need for his undivided attention and she wasn’t prepared to do anything to jeopardize that.
“Let’s have something to eat. Mrs. Dexter was going to leave a tray in the sitting room for us.”
He wiped an errant tear from her cheek then took her hand and led her to the sitting room. A cheerful fire danced in the fireplace behind the screen and someone, no doubt Mrs. Dexter, had drawn the drapes and switched on a pair of table lamps that cast a gentle glow about the room. Weariness seeped through her, making her feel lethargic and uncoordinated. She sank gratefully onto one of the sofas by the fireplace as Wade inspected the contents of the tray.
“Here,” he said, smoothing some red paste onto a sliver of sliced French bread and passing it over to her.
Piper felt some of her lethargy dispel as the piquant flavor hit her tongue. “Mmm, that’s delicious. What is it?”
“I think it’s a sundried tomato hummus. Want some more?”
“Try and hold me back,” she answered.
Together they ate their way through the selection of food, enjoying the cold roasted chicken drumsticks that had been coated with Dexie’s special herb flavoring, licking one another’s fingers clean and savoring the variety of finger foods that had been laid out for them. They eschewed the bottle of wine that sat in a frosted cooler, enjoying instead the mineral water that came from the small fridge that Wade had integrated into a wall unit along one side of the sitting room.
Finally replete, Piper curled up her legs under her and rested her head against the back of the sofa.
“Tired?” Wade asked.
“Yeah, shattered actually.”
“Why don’t you go to bed?”
“It’s still so early,” she protested even as she fought off a yawn.
“No one is going to blame you. You had a major fright today, and you haven’t been feeling well.” He hesitated and drew in a breath before continuing. “I’ve made an appointment for you to see May tomorrow morning.”
She swung her legs down and sat upright. “I told you, I’m okay. Why did you do that?”
“I need to be sure, Piper.”
“Can’t we just see how I’m feeling tomorrow?”
“You had to leave work because you weren’t well, don’t you want to find out why?”
“Whatever it was, it’s passed now. I feel tired and a bit sore from the accident, but aside from that I’m okay. I really don’t want to go to May tomorrow. Shouldn’t that be up to me, anyway?”
Wade gave her another piercing look. “What is it that you’re afraid of, Piper?”
He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her and she felt her defenses rise. She knew how much he wanted her to be pregnant, but what would happen next if she was? The prospect terrified her. She wouldn’t be alone as she had been the last time she’d found out she was pregnant, but would he still want her in his bed each night once he’d achieved his objective? Or would she be tucked away, left to procreate under the clinical terms of their agreement?
She loved him. She wanted to be with him. She knew he didn’t love her, but the longer she could put off him having a reason to set her aside, the better her chance of breaking through the shell he operated within. The better her chance of possibly creating a mutual affection between them that might stand the test of time. That would see them raise their child together, in a home filled with love.
“I’m not afraid. I just don’t see the need, that’s all,” she hedged. “It’s not as if I’ve missed a period or anything like that.”
“And yet you must be feeling some changes in your body. Your breasts are slightly fuller, are they not?” He pushed aside the neckline of her robe, revealing her breasts to his glittering gaze. One finger brushed across their pink tips making them instantly taut and her insides coil tight. “And are your nipples not more sensitive than before?”
She shoved his hand away from her, even as her blood heated again in her body. Pulling her robe closed, she got up from the sofa and went to stand in front of the fire.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” she answered defiantly. “You’re a fantastic lover, maybe it’s just my reaction to you.”
Wade stood and came right up to her, his hand sliding inside her robe once more, this time to rest against her lower stomach. “Or your body’s natural reaction to our lovemaking—our baby making.”
“Wade—”
“I’ll pick you up at ten-thirty tomorrow, your appointment is for eleven. You will keep it, Piper. As I said before, I need to know.”
Piper felt a stab of loss at his words. Finding out if she was pregnant or not was all that mattered to him now.
“What about work?”
“Like I said, I don’t think you’ll feel up to going into the office tomorrow.”
“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?”
Wade sighed in frustration. “Look, you’re not going to win this argument, Piper. You will see May tomorrow and that’s final. Whether you go to work or not is up to you entirely, although I’d advise against it.”
He turned and stalked to the bedroom, reappearing a few minutes later dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a turtlenecked sweater that made him look altogether too sexy for words. Even as angry and frustrated as she was with his high-handedness, she still wanted him on a level she’d never known before. The knowledge frightened her about as much as the prospect that she might be carrying his baby and be about to be shelved until the happy event.
“Go to bed, Piper. You’re just about dead on your feet. I’ll be downstairs catching up on some work.”
He picked up the tray with their plates and leftovers and took it from the room, leaving her alone with only the sound of the fire crackling behind her as company. The instant he was gone, Piper felt every last vestige of fight leave her body. Okay, so she’d go to bed now. But it would be because she wanted to and because she was tired. Not because she’d been summarily ordered to.
Despite her weariness, sleep remained elusive until she heard Wade return upstairs several hours later. Through the open bedroom door she heard the clink of crystal as he poured himself a glass of port, then his deep sigh as he settled onto one of the chairs. It was another half hour before he quietly entered the bathroom, and a few more minutes before he then, finally, slid into the bed beside her, his naked body spooning hers, his arms coming around her in their usual nightly embrace, one hand gently cupping her left breast.
Only then did she slide into a deep slumber, her body relaxed against his warmth, her heart in his hands.
Wade waited in the reception area at the doctor’s office with increasing impatience. Piper had been in May’s consulting room for over half an hour now and the length of time she’d been gone was driving him crazy. How long did it take to do a pregnancy test, anyway? Maybe he should have conceded to Piper’s wish not to come to the doctor today, but made her do a test at home instead.
“Mr. Collins?”
He shot to his feet as the receptionist called his name. “Yes?”
“Dr. Ritter would like you to go through now.” The woman gestured down the passageway leading from the waiting area. “Second to last door on the right.”
“Thanks,” he said, even as his feet began to eat up the distance between torment and the answers he sought.
He tapped lightly on the door and opened it on May’s command to enter. Wade’s gaze flicked from one woman to the other, but he could read nothing on their faces. Piper’s expression remained completely empty. Mind you, she’d been quiet this morning—her movements stiff as a result of yesterday’s trauma. May, too, kept her features inscrutable but she gestured to him to take a seat next to Piper.
“I’m sure you know by now that there are no long-term issues with the minor injuries that Piper sustained in her accident yesterday,” May said. “However, she will need to be very careful for the next
few months.”
Wade’s heart leaped in his chest. “The next few months?” he repeated.
“Yes, indeed.”
“So does that mean…?” He was suddenly too afraid to enunciate the words in case it might not be true.
May smiled. “Yes, you two are expecting a baby, congratulations.”
Wade sat back in his chair, filled with emotion, filled with hope. Could it be that his dreams were finally coming true? And if so, why did Piper now look so stricken?
Thirteen
She was pregnant. Numbness invaded every cell in her body. When May had confirmed the result of the urine test to her, Piper had retreated behind a wall of denial. All through her physical examination she’d been in another place. A place that froze her in fear. After the confirmation, she’d asked May what was the likelihood of her miscarrying again. The answer was about as indeterminate as the wispy drifts of fog that had surrounded the house this morning.
Without knowing what had caused her to miscarry the first time, May couldn’t give her any promises.
Piper slid a glance at Wade. He was ecstatic. His face glowed with the light of sheer joy. It terrified her. What if she let him down? What if she couldn’t carry this baby to term?
She vaguely heard May and Wade discussing what happened next, the list of appointments she’d need to attend, when she’d have scans, etc. The words flew over her head. Wade could take care of that. Right now those matters were the least of her worries. Learning how to cope with the crippling fear that held her frozen in her seat was going to be the biggest thing for her right now.
On the ride home from the doctor’s office, Wade exuded a different energy. His conversation concentrated solely on the baby they now knew she carried. Her stomach flipped uncomfortably.
“Stop the car!” she cried.
“Stop?”
“Now!”
Wade pulled over to the curb. Before the car was fully stationary Piper flung open her door and struggled to her feet. Every muscle in her body ached today and moving was difficult. She made it to a tree on the grassy verge and leaned both arms against it, dropping her head down between her shoulders and dragging in big gulps of the chill, damp air.
How was she going to get through this if Wade talking about the baby was enough to made her nauseous?
She felt his hand at the nape of her neck, his fingers stroking gently.
“You okay?”
“No,” she answered with a shaky voice. She was most definitely not okay.
“Take your time,” he said considerately.
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
Wade continued the gentle stroking and Piper focused on the sensation of his skin on hers. His warmth versus the chill that consumed her. Finally her stomach settled and the threat of being ill diminished.
“I think we can go now,” she said, straightening up from the tree and squaring her shoulders.
“Are you sure? We don’t need to hurry.”
Again that consideration. If she hadn’t been pregnant, would he have been so solicitous?
“I’m fine. Can we go home now, please?”
Wade’s hand drifted down her spine, resting at her lower back as they walked to the car. He saw her settled in the passenger seat and leaned down to clip her seat belt across her. She flinched as he did so, her bruise now a painful reminder of her date with the lamp post yesterday.
“Sorry,” Wade said.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to break, you know.”
“No, but you do need special care and attention.”
He leaned one arm across the top of the doorway to the car and looked down at her.
“Why? Just because I’m pregnant?” She couldn’t help it, the words sprang forth before she could hold them back.
“That and because of what you’ve been through. Cut me some slack, okay, Piper. Let me take care of you. Anyone can see the news has come as a bit of a shock to you. I have to admit that I’m a little overwhelmed myself. I never thought we’d get it right so quickly.”
He closed the door and walked around the front of the car toward the driver’s side. Piper stared out the windshield. Get it right? If that was the case, why did she feel as if everything was going so very wrong? She felt as if things were spinning out of her control. She’d expected—no, wanted—to have time to win Wade over, woo him back to her. Now, she was afraid his primary thought would only be for their son or daughter. She wouldn’t matter as much to him as he mattered to her.
She knew exactly where she stood under the terms of their contract—for as long as she stayed under his roof at least. But how could she continue to do that, loving him the way she did, when his whole focus would be on the baby? Where would she fit in once the baby was born? Would he still want her? And what if the worst happened again? What if she miscarried? Would he believe her when she said she’d loved this child from the point of its conception, that she loved its father just as much?
The weeks seemed to race by. Wade consulted one of the baby books he’d bought and kept at work, that showed the varying stages of pregnancy and development of the fetus, fascinated by every step. Piper was fourteen weeks now and while she was still as slender as always, there was a tautness to her lower belly that hadn’t been there before and her breasts had filled out, too, and continued to be highly sensitive—a fact he’d delighted in exploring when they made love.
He frowned as he considered the terminology—making love. It had been sex when it started but somewhere along the line his feelings about the act itself had changed. Who was he kidding? His feelings about Piper were changing. Especially now. He knew he was becoming more possessive and protective of her with every day that passed—even to the point that he’d soundly rejected her suggestion that now she was pregnant she move back to her old room. She and the baby were his to take care of—and he was starting to wonder if he wasn’t doing a good enough job.
She’d been fragile when she’d returned from overseas but she seemed even more brittle now. As if she might shatter into a million tiny shards if the wind so much as blew the wrong way. Personally, he felt she’d taken on too much. She still worked her full days at Mitchell Exports and spent her evening hours studying or attending late classes for the pre-entry course she’d insisted on completing.
“I have to finish something in my life,” she’d snapped when he’d suggested perhaps she could leave the papers since it was putting so much strain on her.
He’d been taken aback at her response, but had left her to it. She hadn’t wanted her colleagues at work to know about her pregnancy, insisting it was her and Wade’s business and no one else’s. He’d felt the complete opposite, he wanted to shout their news from the rooftops. Even so, he’d respected her decision and remained silent on the subject, except for letting her immediate superiors know and informing them that he expected her workload to lighten somewhat. They’d been only too happy to accommodate his request, even while expressing their surprise at her condition because no one in the office, aside from his PA, had been let into the truth of their relationship.
Perhaps he’d let the cat out of the bag about the two of them prematurely, he thought. Piper obviously had her reasons for wanting to keep their relationship quiet—although they wouldn’t be able to do that for much longer—and for asserting her independence. As to the latter, she had barely blinked when he’d arranged for delivery of an Audi A5 for her. Wade had elaborated on the safety features of the car including antilock electronic braking, traction control and the number of air bags. She’d merely accepted the keys and driven off as usual.
Nothing seemed to break through the mantle of eerie calm that enveloped her. The only time she showed any genuine emotion or response was when they were in bed. Even then, she was often so exhausted when she came to bed that she’d fall immediately asleep.
He’d expected some animation from her when he’d discussed redecorating the nursery, but she’d quietly agreed with every suggestion he had mad
e and appeared quite happy to allow the interior designer he’d appointed a free hand. The decorator was supposed to be finished today. He was keen to see the final result and rued that he wouldn’t be able to see it together with Piper for the first time. He’d hoped the completed room would imbue some excitement about the baby into her.
It was late when he arrived home and his stomach was growling with hunger. Despite that, Wade ignored the plate he knew Mrs. Dexter would have left in the oven for him and shot up the stairs to the next floor. When he’d walked from the garage to the house he’d seen a light on upstairs, in the nursery. He hoped it meant that Piper was in there.
The scents of new wallpaper, carpet and fresh paint filled the corridor outside the room as he approached. The door swung lightly open at his touch. A surge of satisfaction swelled inside as he saw Piper standing by the pale wooden tallboy, with her back to the door. One drawer stood open and it looked as if she was holding an item of clothing.
“They’ve done a great job with the room, don’t you think?” he asked as he entered, his critical eye scanning the room and finding not a single thing at fault.
“Yes,” Piper answered, her voice sounding thick and strained.
“Piper? What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”
Wade stepped up to her, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. It stunned him to see abject misery painted on her features, her face wet with the tears that rolled off her lashes and down her cheeks.
She shook her head and moved away. He noticed the way her hands grasped the tiny one-piece suit in her hands, her knuckles white with the intensity of her grip.
“What is then?” he asked, confused. “Is it hormones?”
She sniffed a stifled laugh. “No, Wade, it’s not hormones. I just…”
“You just, what?” he prompted when she didn’t continue.
She lifted her face toward his, her blue eyes glittering behind the moisture there.
The Pregnancy Contract Page 14