She swallowed and tried to control the wavering note in her voice that threatened to make it impossible to speak at all. “But even when the evidence piled up against me, you had faith in me. You … wanted me. Me. And I began to fall in love with you.” Tears burned their way past her eyelids and trickled down her face. “I did fall in love with you. Do you know how frightening it was to realize how much I counted on having you there for me? How badly I needed to lean on you? It was such a huge risk for me, I couldn’t see past it. Couldn’t see what you had risked to believe me, to let yourself care for me, or what you had to overcome to give so much of yourself to me.” She pulled her hand into her lap and clutched at it with her other. He sat there, unblinking, unmoved.
“But worst of all,” she continued, knowing she had to say it all, for both of their sakes. “After all that has happened between us, all that you have taken from me on faith when I knew you’ve found your security in life relying only on fact … The first time it appears that you used me, might have had ulterior motives for what we’d done together, I panicked and ran. I assumed I’d let myself be duped again, and I felt righteously angry and betrayed.”
Her voice dropped to the merest whisper. “When all the time, the only person being betrayed was you. Your trust. Your faith. And for that, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. And I understand that you won’t—shouldn’t—either. But I’m sorry. It doesn’t make it right, and God knows I’ve never been more ashamed of myself, but I’m sorry I doubted you.”
She lapsed into silence, feeling emptier than she could ever recall feeling. Not even when her father had died. No longer able to look at Dane, she dropped her gaze to her tangled fingers.
They sat there like that for a while. Adria counted each heartbeat. It seemed to mock her. How could life continue when she felt so dead inside?
“Of all the people in the world, I can understand the need for proof. For solid evidence.”
Adria looked up, startled to hear him speak.
“Perhaps I didn’t give you the kind of solid proof you needed. Maybe it’s been as … scary for me as it has been for you.”
“Dane—”
He cut her off with a gesture of his hand. “When I heard from Jarrett that you’d left,” he went on, “I was angry that you’d doubted me, but my first instinct was to come after you to give you evidence. To prove to you that I wouldn’t betray you.”
“And now?” Adria forced herself to ask, knowing she deserved the pain of his certain answer.
“Don’t you want to know what I found out? Isn’t that the only important thing left?”
“No,” she said instantly. “I meant what I said, Dane. I don’t need to hear.”
“Yes, you do. I need you to hear.” His gaze challenged her to interrupt as he went on to explain about the foreign coating.
“Eliot had a hunch that it might be military. With Forster’s apparent involvement, I figured air force. Then I immediately thought Stealth plane. If they were testing something like a surveillance plane in the area that night, they certainly wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. So what if this plane happened to wander in to your airspace by accident? Maybe it didn’t cloak itself from radar detection until the pilot was alerted to his mistake? That would explain why it appeared in your display from out of nowhere. And then it gets involved in a midair collision that could have ended up in a huge ball of fire if not for the quick thinking of an air-traffic controller and some fancy maneuvering by two very well-trained pilots. Three if you count the military-plane pilot.”
“What about the ARTS tapes? It should have been on there.”
Dane shook his head. “I hadn’t figured that part out when I heard about the news conference. I didn’t have time to contact you. And when I got to the conference, Forster was careful not to let me speak. But I cornered him afterward. I knew enough, had pieced together enough, that I was certain I could bluff him.”
“What did he do?”
“He made a deal. No way was he going to chance me going to the press, or worse, someone higher up than him.”
“Didn’t he realize you’d flip when you heard about his announcement? He’d turned in a falsified report with your name on it!”
“At that point he pretty well figured he had me over a barrel because of my personal involvement with you.”
“He knew?” Then she put it all together. “The military got to him after the incident. Convinced him to help cover it up.”
Dane nodded. “I’d already been put on the case by the time they got to Forster. After the preliminary report, it was obvious to him that you would be the easy fall guy. You’d had two reprimands recently, both taken without defense or protest. He figured with some pressure on me about another case I was on, I’d get this one in. He didn’t count on you pushing your third-plane scenario despite the lack of evidence in the ARTS tapes.”
“How did that happen?”
“The military immediately had someone back into the computer and erase the data.”
Adria couldn’t have been more astonished. “Boy, that third plane must be very high up on the security ladder.”
Dane nodded.
“So, Forster was behind the calls?” Adria asked. “The fake reporter?”
Dane nodded again. “When it became obvious to him that neither of us was going to let the case drop easily, he got another intelligence officer to contact you in the guise of a reporter, to check up on exactly what you were talking about and to whom. The first warning call was to keep you from contacting Sarah Greene at the Post.”
“Thereby blowing her cover.”
“Right. But when you kept seeing me and I kept stalling for time, they pressed harder. On both of us. They had no idea that I was there that last time. They thought by dropping my name, you’d back off for good.”
Adria shook her head, boggled by what had really been going on, but even more boggled by the fact that it actually made sense. “How did you find out all this?”
“I had an ace in the hole. I’d had Eliot send a second piece of fuselage with the paint on it to the metallurgy lab. I started bluffing Forster with what I had put together so far, and when I realized how nervous I was making him, I took the risk of telling him I already knew what was on the fuselage. I told him Eliot or the lab would find out shortly if we didn’t cut some sort of deal.”
“Which was?”
“That he tell me everything. And that you be exonerated.”
“He couldn’t have had the clearance to do that.”
“Time was of the essence. You’d be surprised how swiftly things can be declassified when national security is at stake. I was ushered into the air-force offices in fifteen minutes, and less than thirty minutes later I had the whole story.”
“What happens to the information now?” Adria asked. “The report has been filed.”
“The unofficial records will be sealed. Officially, the FAA will rule that your negligence couldn’t be proven to their satisfaction. You’ll receive a documented reprimand for the TCAS you overrode, but otherwise it will be over. I had to sign a statement prohibiting me from discussing this matter with anyone. Ever. You were to come in for the same debriefing and signature. That’s when I called you.”
“And I was gone.” Adria’s mind returned instantly to the fact that while, in the end, she’d kept her job, she’d ultimately lost the only real thing of value. Dane.
“So that’s why you came after me?” she asked. “To get me to the debriefing and sign the statement?”
“I knew from Jarrett that you’d called the Post. I had to stop you before you talked to Sarah Greene.”
“Is that the only reason?” It almost killed her to ask, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself.
Dane looked away for a brief moment, then back at her. His expression shuttered. “Halfway here I changed my mind. I knew that what you planned to do would ruin everything, but at that point I had stopped thinking like an investigator. That was when
I got angry.” His gaze was heated, but not with passion.
Adria fought the urge not to shiver.
“I got angry like I haven’t been since I found out my father had died. And it’s a useless, unproductive, exhausting emotion, that sort of anger. I learned that lesson the hard way as a kid. But this time I couldn’t seem to stop it,” he said quietly. “Or control it, harness it and turn it around and make it work for me. Like I’ve been doing for most of my life.”
Adria didn’t know what to do. She felt her insides winding into a knot of despair. She hated that she had brought him to this. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “It sounds so stupid and clichéd, but I never meant to hurt you.”
“I actually stopped, was ready to turn around,” he said, as if she’d never spoken. “At that moment I really didn’t care if you jeopardized everything by running to the media or that you might be putting yourself in more danger than you could comprehend because you didn’t know all the facts. I told myself that I didn’t care if my career was ruined either. After all, it was my own stupid fault for breaking every rule I’d ever set, crossing the lines I’d drawn years ago for good reasons.”
“So why did you come? Why did you stop me?”
The anger fled from his eyes, leaving only pain.
“Because I love you.”
Adria gasped, choking on her grief for what she’d done.
“And I can’t stop just because you’re running off to do something stupid that hurts me. I can’t stop just because you thought I could actually intentionally hurt you. I can’t stop just because it’s easier to give up, easier to crawl back into my hole, easier to shut myself off again. I can’t stop.” He cleared his throat, but his beautiful eyes burned as his gaze bore into hers. “Because I want you. I want what I know damn well we can have. And now that you’ve dragged me into it, I’m not giving it, or you, up without a fight.”
Her tears were flowing hotter and heavier now. “I don’t deserve it. Or you. But I’d be worse than a liar if I said I don’t want that, too. No matter what.” She reached over and took his hand, twining her fingers with his. “Because I do love you. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I was so quick to run. You’re intense and so focused and always in control. You scare the hell out of me. I wish, desperately, that I had been as brave with my love as you have.” She broke off, then choking down a sob, she said, “But I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I won’t ever run away from that again.”
“Then I say maybe we do deserve each other,” he said. “Maybe we exactly deserve each other.”
Adria clung on to his hand, and to the hope she saw in his eyes, like a lifeline.
He tugged her closer, then lifted a hand to her neck. She released a long, trembling sigh. “You feel so good,” she said.
“You forced me to feel again, Adria. It scares me, but I don’t want to stop. I want more, a whole lot more. I want to explore it all. With you there dragging me along kicking and screaming.”
The tiniest of smiles curved her lips. “Kicking and screaming?” She sniffed, then laughed. “You? I don’t think so. You’re big and tough and like a steamroller, so I guess it’ll be a challenge not to let you just roll over me.” Her smile broadened as the last of the pain left his eyes, to be replaced by slow, deep heat. “I want that challenge, I need it.” She lifted her hand to the back of his neck and tugged him closer, delighting in the fact that he came willingly. “I need you.”
Just before his lips touched hers, he said, “You got me. Forever, if you want me.”
“I do.”
Dane pulled back slightly and let a slow, wide smile crease his face. When she gasped, he knew he’d just found his purpose for the rest of his life.
“How about I put that white tuxedo back on and you say that again.”
Pleasure and hope and a love so bright he wondered that he’d been lucky enough to find it shone on her face. A trace of devilry crept into her expression and Dane felt his entire body harden. Yes, he’d found his purpose all right.
And he was just as certain she’d found hers when she said, “I think I’d rather see you in something like jeans and a T-shirt. A real tight T-shirt. The jeans too.”
“What are the chances that you’ll ever react like I expect you to?” he asked, but he was already lowering his mouth back to hers. “Never mind,” he whispered against her lips. “Surprise me.”
And she did.
And he thanked God for it, and her, and would every day for the rest of his life.
EPILOGUE
Dane leaned back on the railing of the porch that wrapped around the front and side of Zach’s big farmhouse. His wife of one month was nestled with her back against his chest; his arms were wrapped comfortably around her waist. He was surrounded by those closest to him. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so content.
“Strange about Forster resigning like that,” Zach said casually. He was lounging on the porch swing, Dara snuggled up against him.
Adria glanced up at Dane, but neither gave anything away. Dane merely shrugged.
“At least Adria was cleared in the final report,” Dara put in.
Dane smiled, both in response to his sister’s comment and because he was pleased that Adria had hit it off well with his sister. In fact, she’d fit in seamlessly with all of them.
“Any word on who’s replacing him?” Jarrett asked.
“You mean you didn’t hear?” Adria responded. She kissed Dane, who had to endure Zach’s whoop and Jarrett’s approving smile. “Dane’s up for his job.”
Zach pumped his fist in the air and laid a hard kiss on Dara’s mouth.
Dara laughed. “What was that for?”
“Just celebrating family success the only way I know how, sweetheart.” Dara didn’t flush at all; she just tucked Zach’s hand more tightly around her shoulders, then whispered something in his ear.
Rae suddenly cleared her throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “Congratulations, Dane,” she said, her smile wide and sincere. “I know you’ll get the job.” She glanced up at Jarrett for a moment, as if seeking approval.
“You want to tell them?” he asked her. She held his gaze for a moment, then Jarrett turned back to his now avid audience.
With a dull flush staining his neck, Jarrett reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “We have some news of our own.”
He unfolded the paper, stared down at it, then looked up, his pleasure a palpable thing. He pulled Rae against him and let his hand fall on her stomach. “We wanted to wait awhile, until things were further along.” He stumbled to a halt, then simply said, “We’re going to have a baby.”
Everyone immediately erupted into shouts of congratulations, which woke Wolfman from his sleeping place in a patch of sun at the top of the stairs. He barked and circled the group as they hovered around Rae and Jarrett to look at the sonogram picture of the fetus that was on the paper.
When hugs and kisses had been exchanged and all the details had been discussed, things settled down and a peaceful quiet stole over the group.
“You know,” Dane said after a long, comfortable silence, “I never thought we’d all be back here.” He hugged Adria. “Like this.”
“Pretty great, isn’t it?” Zach said. He smiled down at Dara. “When can we make one of those funny little pictures?”
Her only answer was a knowing smile.
“So,” Zach said, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “we all agree we’re disgustingly happy. I say we spread the joy.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Who’s next?”
Beaudine chose that exact moment to walk out onto the porch. “What’s all this racket about out here? Am I the only one who gets any work done around here anymore?” She shook her head, then stilled when she realized six heads had turned her way.
“What trouble you all cookin’ up now?” Her threatening tone was at odds with the wary expression creeping into her eyes.
As if on cue, Zach, Dane, and Jarrett looked at one
another, then at Beaudine.
Beaudine took a step backward. “Don’t you go staring like that at me.” She shook her finger at them. “You got wives now. You’re all family men.”
Zach grabbed Dara’s hand and leaned away from the post. “Come now, chère.” He prodded Beaudine in a dead-on imitation. “We just want you to be as happy as we are, ma petite.” Dane, Adria, Jarrett, and Rae all moved to stand beside them. “Don’t you think it’s about time you put ol’ Frank out of his misery?”
Before Beaudine could say a word, Zach turned and put his hand out, palm down, in the center of the circle. Dara’s hand closed over his, immediately followed by Jarrett, Rae, then Dane, and finally Adria.
“I’ll call Frank,” Dara said.
“I’ll call the preacher,” Rae chimed in.
“I’ll take care of the clothes,” Adria put in.
“I’ll give away the bride,” Zach declared.
“I can pull some strings on a license,” Jarrett said.
“You don’t think she’s had a license since the day Frank caught the bouquet at my wedding?” Zach asked.
Jarrett nodded. “I guess I could handle being best man.”
Dane looked at each one of them, then said, “All for one?”
“And one for all,” the rest intoned simultaneously.
They lifted their still-joined hands above their heads, then broke apart, turning as one toward Beaudine.
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