by Sienna Ciles
“How? Where?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “but desperate times call for desperate measures and I haven’t let down Charlie and Mama yet.”
“If I had money to help you –”
Cassie waved that away. “I don’t need handouts, just opportunities, and I’ll make do until I find them.”
She was so strong and young. Stronger than I could ever be and tears welled up in my eyes all over again. I pulled her into a hug and she let out a tiny squeak, then hugged me back. “Are you okay? I hear you had a fight with Joshua in front of just about everyone in town.”
“Yeah. News travels fast.”
“Like lightning,” Cassie replied, and pulled back from the hug. “I’m sorry this has happened to you, Eve. And I hope you won’t give up on your relationship with Joshua because of it.”
“My relationship, ha. It’s not a relationship. It’s not really anything at all. Not now.”
“The fight?” Cassidy asked.
“I – I said things he won’t forgive me for, and Cassie, I’m not sure I should even be here. I think my time in Hope Creek is over.”
Cas almost dropped the plastic cup she’d brought out for Charlie’s hot chocolate. “Over? God, I’ve just only made friends with you. Do you know how long it’s been since I had a real friend?”
“I can’t stay here without work and Faith will just fuck up all my plans no matter what I do,” I said. “It’s not worth it. This thing with Joshua is –”
“It’s the real deal,” Cassidy said.
“Not what I was about to say.”
“It is. I saw it with my own two eyes. You can’t tell me you’re not in love with him,” Cassidy said. “And if you are, you can’t give up on it so easy. Please. I’ve never felt anything like that before and – I know, this isn’t about me, but it bothers me that you might walk away from something this special. This important.”
“I’ve been married before,” I reminded her. “Love doesn’t always end how you want it to.”
“All right, fine,” she said, and spooned chocolate into the cup. “But tell me that this feeling you have with Joshua isn’t stronger than any you’ve felt before. Tell me that and I won’t bring it up again. Shoot, I’ll even help you pack your truck.”
I hesitated. I couldn’t lie to her. Joshua made me feel things I’d never imagined could be real.
“Exactly,” Cassidy said, as if I’d told her the truth out loud. “You can’t deny how you feel about him. You can’t leave yet, okay? Just give it a few days. Wait for him to call you or come visit again.”
“He won’t come visit me after what I said.” I’d have done anything to push him away in that moment. Anything just to have the distance back and some semblance of protection for my heart.
“He’ll come. He loves you. He’ll come.”
“Even if he did come, I wouldn’t wait for him. I’m not going to wait around for anyone. I’m leaving as soon as I can, and I think you should come with me. I – we could find another town with a restaurant,” I said. “You could waitress and I could cook. We’ll forget about Hope Creek.”
“I can’t just pick up and leave, unfortunately,” Cassie said. “Charlie’s still in school here, and we’re paid up until the end of the month with rent. I’d have to find a new school, accommodation to suit three, and yeah, it’s just not feasible unless I have a job in the pipeline first. I’m sorry. If you leave, you’re going to leave without us.”
My heart broke a little more then. Of all the people I’d met, this little family had affected me the most. Cassie had taught me it was okay to care again. That I couldn’t hide from emotions forever, but the ones I felt for Joshua were too strong.
“Just a few days,” Cassie said, and clicked on the kettle. “Okay? Give it a couple days and then leave.”
I didn’t agree with her. I couldn’t make any promises. A text pinged on my cell and I dug it out of the pocket of my PJ pants. I frowned at the notification.
“What is it?” Cassie asked, and came closer.
“A message from a number I don’t recognize.” I opened it up and a picture loaded on the screen. A picture of Joshua on a bar stool, with Faith kissing his cheek. The expression on his face was blank.
Faith had done it again, whatever it was. I deleted the message before I could obsess over the details. It was enough that they’d had the opportunity to have a photo taken together. Disappointment in Joshua sickened me.
“A few more days, huh?” I asked.
This time Cassidy didn’t insist. She shook her head, sadly, and turned back to the kettle, just as it clicked off. “I thought he was different,” she said.
“So did I.” I gripped the cellphone so hard the plastic creaked and dug my fingernails into the flesh of my hand beside it. “I should go.”
“No,” Cassie said, quickly. “Please don’t. If you’re going to leave anyway, at least spend some time with us before you do. Charlie will fall asleep soon and then we can have a glass of wine together and talk about whatever you want to talk about.”
My face fell.
“Not Joshua,” Cas said, hurriedly. “Anything else. About the future, even. I know it’s going to be bright for all of us.”
I smiled at her. “How do you know that?”
“I just know it. It’s a gut feeling.” Cassie finished making her daughter’s hot chocolate, and I followed her through to the living room, where Charlie still sat, watching her cartoons.
“Here you go, sweetpea,” she said, and gave the little girl the mug.
“Thank you.” Charlie slurped down the hot chocolate and sniffed in between gulps. “It’s yummy. Aunty Eve, are you going to sleep at our house tonight?”
“Yes,” I said, “that would be lovely.”
“Momma, what’s for dinner?” Charlie asked. “I’m hungry.”
“You are? You’re hungry! That’s wonderful,” Cassidy said, and hopped off the sofa. “I’ll fix us something yummy to eat. What do you girls feel like?”
“Pizza!” Charlie said.
“Can’t say no that,” I replied. “If you have any, I mean.”
“I do,” Cassie said.
I shifted to get up. “Do you need my help?”
“No, you stay here with Charlie. Just relax for a while, Eve. I think we’ve all had enough excitement for one day.”
Or for a lifetime. I did as I was told and settled back with Charlie. She finished off her hot cocoa and put her mug dutifully on the coffee table, then lay down with her head in my lap and promptly fell asleep.
My eyes drifted, but stayed open. There were too many thoughts chasing me. Too many worries. And one man dominating them all. Joshua. Joshua. Why are you with her again? And why can’t I leave you like I left Bryan? Why does it hurt more to consider it than it did with my own husband?
Chapter 22
Joshua
The sunlight illuminated the front of my parents’ house, the flowers in the pot that hung from a hook under the eaves, and the screen door shut, but the front door beyond it open. It wasn’t a Monday, but they wouldn’t turn me away. Of course, they wouldn’t. Especially not my mother.
I’d been sitting in the truck for five minutes and no one had come out yet. My father’s Ford was parked in front of the garage. They were home, all right, and I couldn’t turn away now, even though anger and fear mixed in my gut.
I opened the car door before I could second guess myself, got out and moved up the stairs, across the porch. I opened the screen door and entered.
“Who’s there?” a gruff voice called out. My dad. In the living room.
“It’s Joshua,” I replied, evenly.
“Oh.” He didn’t sound all that happy to hear from me. “Your mother isn’t here. She took her car into Heather’s Forge to chat with that old rag bag, Beaumont.”
I snorted a laugh at that, and it did a little to ease the tension in my shoulders. “I’m not here to talk to Mom,” I said, at last.
I walked down the hall, my boots creaking on the old wooden boards, and entered the living room.
Howie Jackson had set himself up nicely in the corner. He had his feet up on an ottoman, a pipe peeking out of the corner of his mouth, and a book open on his lap. Retirement had treated my dad pretty damn well. He took the pipe out of the corner of his mouth and frowned at me. “You want to talk,” he said, and shifted in his chair.
“Yeah, if that’s all right.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because we never talk,” I replied.
“Boy, we talk all the time,” he said, and swung his feet down from the ottoman. “Sit.”
I sat on the sofa across from him and glanced out of the window. Pale green curtains framed it and accented the view of the field. “Not about anything that means anything, Dad.”
“Ah,” he said, as if that was all there was to say. “So, it’s that kind of talk.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I – I know it disappointed you when I didn’t marry Faith.”
My father raised both eyebrows this time. “Did it?”
“You’re best friends with Lee-Roy,” I said.
“Friends,” Dad said, and shrugged. “They come and go. Why are you talking about this now? I thought you were too busy out there, farming.”
“I know you don’t want me to be here. I can’t figure out why, and maybe I don’t fucking care anymore, but I need your help.”
“You don’t fucking care?” My father seldom swore, but his face colored now and he drew himself out of the chair. “You don’t fucking care that I near broke my back working to make sure you had the best in life and you threw everything you had out the window to come back to this godforsaken town.” The truth bubbled out of my father, along with anger. Torrents of it.
“I paid you back, didn’t I? Every cent you spent on me.”
“You can’t pay back the years of hoping you’d find something better to do than this.”
“Than what? Farming?” I asked, and my rage built, too. Both our voices were raised. Mom would have silenced us both with a sharp look. “Did you ever think that I wanted to do this because I admired the life we had?”
My father gritted his teeth.
“Maybe you dreamed of running off to be a businessman, but I didn’t want that,” I grunted. “Trust me, if I could swap lives with you, I would. If I had, I wouldn’t have lost Eve.”
“Eve?” My father’s anger finally stalled. “Who’s Eve, boy?”
This was the awkward part, the feelings part. The stuff I wasn’t good with, unless it was talking directly to the woman in question. She brought out that side in me. No one else ever had.
“Joshua,” Dad snapped, but lowered himself back into his chair. “You wanted to talk, now talk.” His tone brooked no argument.
I sat down again, dreading this more than I’d have dreaded an actual fistfight with my father. “Eve is… I love her. She was a chef at Cowboys n’ Cuts until Faith bought the place.” And then it all came out. I told him everything that’d happened – minus the saucy bits that Eve and I had shared – and how Faith had ruined it all.
“Faith,” my father said and wrinkled his brow. “I thought you two broke up.”
“We did, years ago. She left me because I wasn’t wealthy enough for her tastes, but now, she’s determined to ruin Eve’s life. And she’s running Cowboys n’ Cuts into the ground to do it. You know Cassidy, right?”
“Yes, and her mother. Nice women. Good women.”
“She fired Cassidy yesterday to spite Eve.”
My father’s eyes flashed, anger, and something else, shock? He hadn’t thought Faith was capable of this. She’d hidden that side from everyone who mattered to her. Everyone who had the ability to take away the little privileges she possessed.
“She’s ruining the restaurant, eh?”
“Yes,” I said, “and that’s why I’m here. Look, I know I don’t always see eye to eye with you. I know I’ve… disappointed you, but I need your help here.”
“What can I do? The girl will hardly listen to me,” he said.
“No, she won’t. But Lee-Roy will.”
My dad worked his lips back and forth, then eyed his pipe. “Lee-Roy and I have drifted.”
“But surely not that much. Surely, he’d hear you out if you came to him with this? Please.” It grated to ask this. It grated to have to beg my father to help me in this situation. “I wouldn’t ask unless I really needed this.”
“I’ll speak to him,” he said, at last, then lifted his pipe. “If this Eve girl is someone you care about, then yes, I’ll speak to him.”
The front door banged and my mother’s heels clicked down the hall. “Howie, I’m home,” she called, then chuckled to herself about the play on words.
“Don’t tell your mother about it. She still thinks Faith is an innocent, and it’d rock her world if she found out all of this in one sitting.” My father put down his pipe again and rose out of his seat. “In here, darling.”
I got up, too, and nodded to my father, silent thanks for his help. If it could get Faith off Eve’s back, it might give me enough time to make things right with her.
My father nodded back. “I’m proud of you,” he said.
The words struck me like a hammer between the eyes. I actually reeled and caught myself from flopping back onto the sofa. That was the last thing I’d expected to hear from the old man. Proud of me? When I’d only offered him bitter disappointment?
I didn’t get more than a minute to contemplate that. Mom bustled in and stopped at the sight of me. “Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise. I only expected you on Monday, dear. I’m afraid I don’t have anything prepared but some leftover cherry pie with clotted cream.”
“I just popped in to see how you two were doing. No need to make a fuss,” I said.
“Nonsense. Come right through to the kitchen. I’ll fix us all some coffee and a couple slices of pie. How does that sound?”
“Great, Mom, thank you.”
My father eyed the telephone on the table beside his chair. “I’ll be through in a minute. I have a call to make, Madgie.” His nickname for her when he was in the sweet-talking mood.
“Hmm,” she said and narrowed her eyes at him. “Sometimes, I think you’re up to something, but then I remember you’re just as old as I am. Come on, Joshua, let’s go get our pie. If you’re father misses out, that’s his too bad.”
I followed my mother out of the living room and down the hall, her chatter racing past my ears rather than entering them. This was the beginning of my resolution to the problem. Now, I just had to convince Eve to stay, and work out a way to get Cassidy her old job back.
Already, an idea formed in my mind, but it was too early to hope. Too much rode on what my father and Lee-Roy would discuss in there.
“Are you okay, sweetheart? You’re a million miles away.”
“Fine,” I said, “I’m fine.”
“Some coffee will do you good.” She ushered me into the kitchen, just as the mumble of my father’s voice picked up down the hall. I couldn’t linger and eavesdrop on the conversation without alerting my mother to my intentions and peaking her intrigue.
I entered the kitchen, belly roiling from nerves.
Chapter 23
Eve
It was time to load up and move out. I hadn't given it a couple days as Cassidy had asked. I couldn't, not after receiving that photo of Faith smooching Joshua. Not because I thought he'd actually do anything with her, no, he was as allergic to her as I was. It was just a reminder that we'd never be rid of her, even if we were a couple.
Faith would endeavor to make my life difficult, and I'd run out of steam. I didn't have the fight left in me to fight for not only Joshua, but myself as well. After all, I'd spent years fighting for both Bryan and I, and that had ended in nothing but sadness and betrayal.
I needed to keep what little piece of self-preservation I had intact and run before this feeling
, this craving for him, overran my senses.
I looked around my living room at the fully packed boxes and capped the magic marker. I'd just finished scrawling another label across the top of it - more kitchen stuff. I dumped the marker in my open handbag on top of the sofa. That'd come with the apartment and belonged to the butcher's wife.
It was one less thing to worry about taking with me. I swallowed and ran my thumb over my bottom lip. So, this was it, then, this was the end of the line for me and Hope Creek and...
My cell phone burst into song – “To the Left” by Beyoncé - and I snatched it out and answered, "Hello?"
"Tell me you've changed your mind," Cassidy said. "Please?"
"I have to go, Cassie, you know I do," I said. "The longer I stay, the worse this will get." I'd already mentally prepared myself for the fact that I had to go in and confront Faith one last time. It went against every professional grain in my body to just leave a job without actually quitting, and technically that hadn't happened yet.
"Just a couple more days," my friend groaned. "It's going to be Charlie's birthday soon, and we really wanted you to be here for the party."
"Don't do this to me," I said, "please?"
Cassie sighed on the other end of the line. "At least, come see us before you leave. Come say goodbye. Charlie's already asked me about you this morning. For some weird reason, the child has gotten it into her head that you're getting married."
"What?"
"I know," Cassidy said. "There's no way she could've overheard us last night, and even if she had, we didn't say anything remotely related to that. She keeps hugging that bear Joshua won for her at the fair, too."
"Wow," I replied. "If this is your last-ditch attempt to go back on my decision, Cas–"
"I swear, it's not. She's really acting like this. Look, I think she might've overheard all the talk about you leaving. Would you come see us before you leave?" Cassidy asked. "Please?"
"Of course," I replied. "Of course, I will. I wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye properly, and I'm going to stay in touch. You know that, right? I won't just leave and never call again."