“Works for me. Unexpected days off, spent with you – I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
Chapter Twelve
Cam
When we get home from the hospital, I tell Jacks to have a seat while I get him a glass of water. I walk back into the living room to find him asleep in the recliner. He had been ordered to sleep sitting up for a few days to ensure no further swelling took place in his nose, so I didn’t try to move him.
Since he’s sleeping in the living room, I lie down on the couch beside his chair and fall asleep just as quickly as he did.
Sometime later, I’m woken up by Jacks brushing the hair off of my face. I blink my eyes a few times and a smile comes to my face as I take in his appearance. Even with two black eyes and his nose bandaged up, he is still gorgeous. He tries to smile, but I can see the slight grimace, which tells me the movement hurts him.
“You fell asleep,” he says.
“You did first, so I followed suit.”
“You could have slept in our bed. You didn’t need to stay out here with me.”
“I wanted to be close, just in case you needed me.”
“You’re sweet. I ordered some Uber Eats,” he says.
“Yeah?” I start to sit up.
“Yeah, I hope you like pho.”
“Never have had Pho before.”
He extends his hand to me, so I slip mine into his and he pulls me to a sitting position.
“So, when were you planning on telling me that you haven’t had a relationship before? I mean that seems like it’s some big type of news that you would want to disclose when you’re having the relationship conversation, it could help me understand where you’re coming from.”
“I didn’t think that it was important to bring up.” I shrug.
“I kind of feel like it’s a big deal, I feel like it’s a big step for anyone to have their first boyfriend or girlfriend.”
Is he pissed off at me? His bandaged nose makes it hard to tell by his tone.
I’m not exactly sure how to approach the topic of my dating history, and I find it even more daunting to tell him that he was my first and has been my only.
“So, maybe we should talk about it now.” It wasn’t a question.
“I mean, you know now, so there really isn’t much to say on that topic anymore,” I lie.
“Something is telling me there’s more to discuss. We’re in a relationship, Cam. We’re also living together. I mean, those are each good reasons why we should be pretty honest with one another. I may be rusty on being somebody’s boyfriend, but I’m quite sure that is how it goes.” He has a point. If watching romantic comedies taught me anything growing up, it’s that if you’re not honest in a relationship, it can end in disaster.
“Okay, so there’s more.” I say. “We should maybe wait for the food to arrive so we’re not interrupted.”
I know I shouldn’t try to postpone the conversation, but I’m not entirely sure how to approach the conversation since it’s new to me.
Ugh. I wish I had more practice in this.
Do I though?
“I know what you’re trying to do, Cam.” He smiles. “We’ll wait until the food comes, but we’re having this conversation tonight.”
We don’t have to wait long for the food and, once it arrived, I keep my mouth busy by shoving the noodles and meat into my mouth. Jacks watches with an entertained expression until we are both finished.
“Pho is good.” I wipe my mouth.
“It is,” he agrees with a nod.
“It’s pho-king good.” I smile.
We’re sitting side by side on his couch. He looks like he’s in pain but he hasn’t said much about it since we’ve been home.
“Spill it, Cam. We’re not putting this conversation off any longer,” he starts. “Why didn’t you mention when we were talking about relationships and defining what we are, that you’ve never been in one before?”
“I’m not sure. I didn’t see it as being of any importance to mention how naive and inexperienced I was. You’ve got a lot more experience than I do, and just saying it now makes me feel significantly younger than you.”
“I don’t look at you and think of how old you are.”
“There’s a four year age difference. To some that’s not a small difference.”
“Are you trying to make it sound bad? I see nothing wrong with our age difference,” he questions.
“Not intentionally. I’m sorry.” I look to my hands, which I’m wringing in my lap. He covers my fidgeting hands with one of his.
“You don’t have to apologize for feeling or thinking a certain way. Look, we like each other, and we’re together. I want us to be completely open with each other. That’s what you do when you’re in a relationship, at least one that you want to go somewhere.”
“And you do?” I ask with a tinge of fear.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have even thought twice about throwing my thoughts of staying away from you any longer since the night of the club if I didn’t. I was hoping there wouldn’t be a risk with your brother and my friendship, because your brother is my family and I didn’t want to lose that. But I know now that he’s happy for us and would have been all along.”
“Then why didn’t you act on us being a thing until that night from the club?”
“I was scared.”
“Scared?”
“Look, my friendship with Mal is huge for me. When I said he’s my family, I meant it. I don’t speak to my own family, so he’s really all I’ve got. Him and Beck. So with being family comes trust and honor.” He clears his throat. “There’s an unwritten rule about mates and little sisters, but I violated the mates code that night after the wedding. I was terrified of what would happen if anything else came of the two of us. But then I realized that we could have something good together and Mal would want that for both of us. And that brings us to now.”
“So, I guess I should tell you more about my inexperience.” I swallow a lump then continue. “I am also inexperienced in the bedroom.”
“Okay. I’m not following.”
“I’m inexperienced in the bedroom, meaning that I’ve had a limited number of partners and by limited, I mean only one.” I watch his face as that information sinks in. His facial features don’t change much.
“I know.” He says simply.
“How?”
“Other than the physiological way, I’m not going to explain sex to you. But I don’t remember that part of our first time together. Mal told me.”
“Gross. I can’t believe my brother shared that information with you.”
“He assumed that I already knew. How much of that night do you remember?”
“All of it. I didn’t at first, though. But now, I remember the entire night.”
He stands. “If I had known you were a virgin that night, I wouldn’t have taken your virginity. We were drinking, and since then I’ve remained your only partner. We’ve had rough sex. I’ve spanked you, a lot—”
“Which I absolutely enjoy!” I interrupt him to keep him from wandering down that path of negative thoughts. “We’ve also had slow and romantic sex, which I’ve enjoyed as well. I like everything we’ve shared together.”
He stops his pacing.
“It’s only been me?” he asks, though it’s a question he already knows the answer to.
“Only you.”
He looks at me with intensity in his eyes, one side of his mouth curls up, and his tongue reaches out to run along his lower lip and then across the bottom of his top teeth.
“I want to spank your ass for withholding important information from me.”
I inhale a sharp breath.
“I want to fuck you so hard that you feel my cock in your throat, that you feel me for days.”
My heart pounds harder with each word he says.
He comes to stand in front of me, kneels down in between my legs and places his hands on top of my thighs.
I sit still
and wait for his next comment, noticing that his words get progressively dirtier with each sentence he says. I feel like my heart is beating out of my chest in anticipation. He’s silent, but he’s watching my body, my breathing and I feel like he’s waiting for me to say something. I don’t wait any longer. I’m eager to know what else he wants to do.
“Anything else?” I breathe out.
A smirk forms on his face. He knows he has me wanting whatever he will give. His knuckles brush against my cheek lightly.
“There isn’t a single thing that I don’t want to do to you, but I think we need to take a step back,” he says quietly. I’m sure fear showed on my face as his eyes widen and he changes his posture. “Not from our relationship. I want to teach you all the things that we can do. I want to give you the slow and romantic and then give you the fast and hard.”
“You realize we’ve been having sex regularly for a few weeks now, right?” I say with a laugh.
“That was before; this is now.” he says with a firm tone.
“So then, is something about us changing?” I ask, concerned that he’s having second thoughts.
“No, but I think I need to date you properly, to give you the full experience. Our schedules don’t always make it easy, but I’m going to try. I don’t want you to look back and think that your first boyfriend was never around.”
He called himself my boyfriend.
“But as much as I want to do all these things to you now, my head fucking hurts and I just want to be low-key right now. Is it okay that I’m not already doing as I promised?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
“That’s part of relationshipping. We hang out.” I shrug.
He kisses my hand and smiles.
“Just know, you’re in for a lot. I’m going to romance you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Jacks
Shocked.
Shocked is one way to put how I felt when I learned Cam had never been in a relationship prior to me.
Fucking shocked was how I felt when she disclosed that she had been a virgin prior to Mal and Beck’s wedding night when we drunkenly hooked up.
Fucking devastated was how I felt when I learned she didn’t trust me enough to tell me these things from the start of when we decided that we were going to start a relationship.
And now, I can only rectify the situation by romancing her, treating her like the queen she deserves to be treated as, not going straight into the dominant personality every time that I tend to be in the bedroom. She’s right when she says that we aren’t always so rough and hard in the bedroom. We’ve had plenty of soft and sweet moments as well. Now that I am aware of her experience, or lack thereof, I want to give her all the sweet moments that I can, all that she deserves. I know that she enjoys rough sex, so I’m not holding out on her, besides I need that too.
I want that to start right away, but my face fucking hurts and I don’t want to half-ass it.
She’s right though and hanging out is what people in relationships do and I intend to give her all facets of what a relationship can be. It’s not like I’m an expert on being in relationships since I haven’t had a real one in years. This is the first actual relationship I’ve had since moving to the States, so some of this shit I’m making up as I go along.
We hang out and watch television, she snuggles against my shoulder as we talk during the commercial breaks. Eventually, we stop watching television, sit facing one another and talk. We discuss everything from life back home, to growing up, to likes and dislikes, and even the present.
We learn a lot about one another without the distraction of sex. As much as I want to act on satisfying both of our carnal appetites, the pounding in my head is deafening. I sleep in the bedroom with several pillows lifting me up so I’m not lying completely flat. Cam snuggles by my side, snoring lightly through the night.
I sleep, but it isn’t a sound night of sleep. By dawn, my body tells me to get up and to start my day. But, since the doctor ordered me to not work out for the next few weeks or do any other strenuous activity, I’m unsure what I’m supposed to do with myself.
I have a meeting at the club that I need to be at later this afternoon to discuss changes I mentioned to Mal and Beck but, until then, I want to spend more time with Cam.
I am busy at the stove flipping the Texas toast in the pan, when she entered the room noisily. I turn my body in time to observe her loud yawn and see her shirt slide up as she stretches. She is wearing a t-shirt with a pair of baggy sweat shorts. She scratches her side and then finally looks in my direction.
“What’s that smell? Is it…” —she sniffs the air— “vanilla?”
“It could be. I’m not sure if I’ve botched this up or not,” I admit.
“What are you making, chef?” she asks, padding across the kitchen space.
“French toast. I found some easy recipe online, so here’s hoping.” I hold up the spatula with a smile.
“I have to work today. Sorry. I couldn’t take the day off,” she says as she hitches herself up onto the counter.
My free hand goes to rest on her thigh as the other flips the bread.
“I’ll be at the club this afternoon. I may or may not stay for some of the night, depending on Kendra.”
“Don’t feel like you need to rush home. I won’t be home until midnight.”
“I’m not sure I like that you work such odd hours. Being out so late and all.”
“Are you getting protective?” she scrunches up her face.
“I’m just thinking of your safety.”
“But you aren’t even home until three or four, so what’s the difference? I would just be hanging out here alone and there’s just as much potential for something to happen to me here as there. Plus, if I was going to go out with friends, I would be out late too. What’s with the all of a sudden worry about my schedule?” she asks.
“It’s not all of a sudden. I mean, I guess I never gave it any real thought. Sorry, just ignore me. Can you grab some plates?” I ask.
She gives me a weird look before hopping off the counter and getting plates for our breakfast.
“Is this relationshipping? You being worried?” She quirks an eyebrow as she hands me a plate.
“I guess so. Sorry, if I’m fucking it all up.”
“I don’t think it’s fucking up. I think it’s cute, the concern that you have. I’ve never had that before from anyone other than my family.”
We move over to the dining table and sit side by side.
“How’s the nose?” she asks.
“Tolerable.”
“That’s good. It will probably get better a little bit each day. But I’m no doctor; you could be really jacked up.” She laughs with a shorts. “Jacked, get it. You’re Jacks and you could be jacked.” She takes a bite and then immediately moans in satisfaction as she chews. She points to her plate. “It’s like magic is happening in my mouth. So fuckin’ good.”
I smile and we eat our breakfast in as she rambles on and on about anything that seems to come to her mind. I pay attention to her mannerisms and how her voice hitches with every other sentence. I note that she doesn’t speak when there is food in her mouth and, after every other bite, she wipes her mouth as if she was thinking something is there. When she finishes her food, she turns to me fully and just stares at me. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I start to fidget with the napkin that I left bunched next to my plate.
“Do you think that you and I would have ever acted on our attraction to one another if it hadn’t been for the alcohol?” she finally asks.
I wait a beat before replying.
Would we have?
“I’d like to think that possibly in time, yes. But there’s no saying what would or wouldn’t have happened. We hooked up at that wedding and I think it opened up a whole new direction for our lives to go. Our choice that night to get horizontal changed the paths that our lives had been going,” I say.
“And how, pray tell, was your li
fe going before I crashed drunkenly into it?” she smirks.
“You know how it was when you first started staying here?”
“You being at work all night and sleeping during the day, avoiding me?”
“Yeah, kind of like that. I occupied my time, but now I like to think I was trying to stay busy during my hours in between work and sleep to fill a void that I wasn’t quite aware of, until you drunkenly crashed into me.”
“Aw, that’s kind of sweet.” She leans her hand on her chin.
“You?”
“I’m not sure. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’ve always crushed on you because growing up, you were just my brother’s friend. I think I really noticed you when I saw photos online of you and Mal when you guys opened your club. But now, I’m kind of wishing I came to one of your shows when you were still dancing.”
“Then you would have seen your brother too. We performed in all the same shows,” I tease.
“Well, shit. Gross. That would have been traumatizing.” She shudders.
“I gave you a lap dance that one night.”
“Yeah, you did. But I think it would have been interesting to see the whole show. Not saying that I didn’t really like that dance, because I really did. But you know, part of the experience is being in the club, feeling the energy of the crowd, seeing the sets and costumes.”
“You can come with me to one of the rehearsals once I’m cleared by the doctor?”
Her eyes light up and she sits up straight. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
I look at my watch and curse. “I’ve got to head to the club.
I stay late at the club, almost as late as I used to. Kendra has caught on quickly to the closing duties while I’ve been out the past few nights and I couldn’t be happier. Our meetings earlier this afternoon were successful and everyone was in agreement. Trina came to the all-staff meeting on crutches and made a big deal over my bandaged nose. After being told several times by Kendra and Janae to go home, I eventually left shortly after the final show of the night started.
The Night Manager Page 9