by Shell, C.
Anonymously Yours
(Yours #1)
C. Shell
Dedication
I want to thank my wonderful family for putting up with me and my madness while I write. I love you all so much and appreciate all the support and love you give me. Thanks for giving me the courage to follow my dream and do what I love.
Table of Contents
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
About the Author
Anonymously Yours
C. Shell
Copyright C. Shell 2013
Smashwords Edition
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. IF you are reading this book and didn't purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the author and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance between persons living and dead, establishments, events, or location is entirely coincidental.
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Prologue
Lettuce, detergent, apple juice, sugar...oh, and some more of those yummy oatmeal cookies the deli makes fresh every morning. I also need to remember to stop off and drop off my dry cleaning.
"Oh baby, you feel so good." Gary moans.
Pulled out of my thoughts and mental to-do-list, I am back in the miserable present. I add in a quick, "Umm...you too," and another fake moan for good measure. At least one of us seems to be enjoying themselves.
I wish Gary would hurry up and finish so he can roll off of me and pass out. I am surprised that he has managed to make it past his usual five minutes of rutting on me without blowing his load yet. How did my life get so pathetic? My friends talk about their sex lives all the time and how erotic and hot they are. I have never experienced that.
Gary was my first. My first real passionate kiss, my first serious boyfriend, my first orgasm from a guy (might not have been earth shattering, but it was still my first), and my first love. He was the handsome quarter back of our high school football team and I was ecstatic that out of all the girls following him around, he chose me. Even back then I knew we would be together forever. He was sweet, good looking, and considered a major catch. Lord, what girl in her right mind would not want a tall, built, athletic man with wavy brown hair and dark brown eyes to match?
We finished high school, joined the same college not far from home, and moved into our first apartment together right after graduation, a little over a year ago. I always thought sex was nice and my friends were just sluts who got off on things most normal girls did not enjoy. Normal girls like me. I want to be a slut who enjoys those things. Anything has to be better than making mental to-do-lists while a man sweats all over you and grunts like a pig.
Half the time I forget he is even doing anything, until I hear that stupid squeal he does at the end when he shoots his wad. That is when I remember to ooh and ahh before turning over and falling asleep. I want more. I want what my friends have. Hell, I want an orgasm from a man that makes me see stars, forget my name, and leaves me limp like a worn out doll.
"Oh yeah, that is it...Ahhhhhhh." Gary squeals and his body tenses right before collapsing on top of me. I kiss his shoulder and tell him the all too familiar lie that he was amazing, before rolling to my side and pulling my cotton nightgown back over my body. I hide the single tear that escapes my watery eyes before he has a chance to notice that I am upset.
I am not even sure if anyone is to blame for the lack of zest between us. I tried a few times to spice things up between us before with lingerie, candles, and a few new sex moves I heard my best friends talking about, but it didn't help. Maybe I am the problem. Sometimes I feel like I might be broken.
At only twenty-four I cannot imagine going the rest of my life like this. If it was not for my special pink vibrator I would have probably already shriveled up and died from lack of orgasms. I wonder if anyone could really die from never getting off?
Hearing Gary come back in the room and climb into bed after throwing away the condom, I slowly count to twenty. By the time I reach sixteen I already hear the soft sounds of his snoring that lets me know he is out for the night. He doesn't deserve my lies. He deserves a woman that actually enjoys his caresses and tender love making.
I really can't do this anymore. Closing my eyes I breathe a sigh of contentment. Come tomorrow I am going to leave. No more faking orgasms. The next time I moan for a man it will be because he actually did something to earn it. Gary will be pissed at first, but he will thank me later in life. I am doing this as much for him as for me. He deserves to be truly happy as much as I do.
A sliver of excitement mixed with fear stirs in my belly. Gary is all I have ever known and I have never lived on my own before. Even in college I lived with my girlfriends. My mental to-do-list has a whole new set of things added onto it as I map out my day. I smile as I succumb to sleep realizing that for once in my life I have a chance to live and be that girl I never dared to be.
Chapter 1
"I'll take an iced tea, no lemon please." I tell the young, perky waitress before turning my attention back to my two best friends, Sasha and Tony.
"Why don't you live a little and have something with a bit of a bite to it today?" Sasha chides. "How about... a margarita or even a long island iced tea?" She asks with an arched brow.
"It is only lunch time and I still have work to do," I shoot back giving her an exasperated look as I notice her drink is anything but tame for this time of day. "Since when do big shot mean lawyer types who step on anyone who gets in their way need a drink before the sun goes down?"
"Since I have too many fucked up clients that don't know when to keep their mouths shut and their affairs private." She says with a laugh, but I can tell by her tone that there is more truth to her comment than not.
"Having a bad day, already?" I ask intrigued.
Sasha is a hell of a lawyer, but at times, I can tell the job makes her a bit squeamish on relationships and men in general. I hate seeing her let it affect her life so much. She is beautiful inside and out and has a lot to offer someone, but whoever that lucky guy might be, he better be sneaky and able to knock down her tough defenses before she has a chance to stop him. She has a love'em and leave'em attitude that rivals any man's I have ever met. If I had not known her for so long, she would scare the hell out of me. Tony and I know the real Sasha, the one that hides under all that bitchiness she keeps on display. In truth, she is a great friend that would move heaven and hell to help someone she deems worthy.
"No more than usual," she says with a wave of her hand. Glancing back over to Tony she bounces the topic back in my direction. Lucky me.
"Now, stop changing the subject and let's get back to talking about you." I know that evil look gleaming in her eyes, and it tells me I should have stayed at work and ate my simple salad I brought with me. This is the thanks I get for ditching work to meet up with my long time friends. I have a feeling this is no simple planned lunch I just walked into.
"My life is boring, nothing to tell," I snap. "I would rather talk about the two of you and what you have going on these days." I challenge back, hopi
ng she will take the bait and leave me alone.
"That is my point, my dear. Your life is way too boring. We are here to help you spice it up a bit. Since you left Gary, you do nothing but work, eat, and sleep. What happened to challenging yourself and having fun? If you keep up this lifestyle I am going to buy stock in batteries because I know damn well the only action you are getting is from that little pink vibrator you keep hidden in your closet."
I inwardly groan wishing I really had stayed at work. Note to self... find a new hiding place for my vibrator. Leaving Gary six months ago was hard, but the right decision. I much rather stay at home alone and watch television than continue to fake a happy relationship with him. It got to the point that we were practically living separate lives. He had his friends and hobbies and I had mine. To be completely honest, I am not even sure what he did or who he associated with the last three years we were together. Breaking up was the right decision for us both. I even heard through the grapevine that he has started dating again. I am happy that one of us is at least moving in the right direction.
"I have had a few dates," I counter, knowing full well I am not going to be able to win this fight.
"Two dates, Kelly. Two lame dates is not enough to find that spark you have been missing out on. Trust me when I say you need to keep trying." Tony says jumping into the conversation and raising his voice to octaves I would rather avoid. I glance around thankful to see that no one if paying us a bit of attention.
"What would you have me do?" I hiss. "Would you feel better if I went out every night and woke up each morning with a new guy in my bed until one of them makes me scream so much I lose my voice?"
"That would be a good start," Tony laughs giving me a wink. "I love a girl that lets loose and screams during sex."
"Too much information, Tony. I love you like a brother and the thought of you making a girl scream is the equivalent to getting my teeth drilled on by a dentist." I visibly cringe, which sets him off on a laughing fit.
Well, I agree. You are just like another sister to me also, otherwise I would be the first in line to do that killer body of yours justice and knock those cobwebs off for you."
"Yuck, Tony," I laugh, throwing my napkin across the table at him. He catches it midair and flings it back my way. I take a healthy sip of my cold ice tea and wish that I had followed Sasha's advice and ordered something stronger. This conversation just got too odd for comfort.
We all stare each other down in a weird uncomfortable silence. Luckily, the silence is broken up by our waitress who comes and takes our order. I order a small cup of tomato soup and half of a club sandwich, and take deep breaths to calm my frayed nerves before I say anything that I might regret later.
Once the waitress leaves, Sasha blows out a deep breath and apologizes. "Sorry Kelly for meddling, I just don't like seeing you sit around while life passes you by. You are beautiful and kind. You deserve to be happy after wasting so many years with Gary. I just don't want to see you wither away and your special kitty to shrivel up before you get a chance to put it to good use."
The sip of tea I just took goes spraying out of my mouth in a very un-lady like manner at the mention of my special kitty. Reaching for napkins, I do my best to clean up the mess in front of me, while trying to hide the stupid blush tainting my cheeks. Sasha and Toby continue to laugh and torment me while making small meows sounds. I swear they can act so immature when they get together.
"Are you two done embarrassing me yet?" I glare at them although I know they can see right through my tough girl act.
"We only give you a hard time because we love you so much," Tony says giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You are gorgeous babe and deserve to have a man that will treat you like a queen."
"And fuck you like a whore," Sasha adds, giving me a devious grin.
I don't take compliments well, and although I know in my head that I am decently attractive, I have not felt attractive in a while. I am in a social rut and should be out living it up like I had planned, but I don't know how. While my friends partied and lived it up in high school and college, my life revolved around Gary, and what was important to him. I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way. My friends are right, I need help.
When I look in the mirror all I see is pale skin that burns too easily in the sun, green eyes that no longer hold the same sparkle they did back in high school, and unruly dark red, long curly hair that turns frizzy when the Texas humidity gets a hold of it.
I used to dress to impress, showing off a hint of my ample cleavage through low cut shirts and accenting my long legs with attractive miniskirts, but my closet now only contains an array of classy prim and proper business suites that cover more than they should.
My great plan of embracing my sexuality has been replaced with working overtime to pay bills and furthering my career. I am still not sure how my plans got so mixed up in such a short amount of time.
Sasha gives me a knowing look and I glance away, blushing bright red once again. I can feel her narrowed eyes on me and I brace for the ass chewing that is sure to come. "Kelly, so help me if you don't stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself again I am going to kick your ass right here in front of everyone."
"I don't know what you are talking about?" I smart back while refusing to meet her eyes. She has this uncanny ability to read me better than my own mother.
"Really?" She challenges, staring me down and putting me back in my place.
"Can we please change the subject?" I plead. Not giving her a chance to decline. I start asking an array of questions to fill in the silent gap. "How is work going, Tony? Any new men I should know about, Sasha? What happened to that new guy you were trying to bang?"
"You are hopeless," she says cursing under her breath and causing me to flinch. I hate fighting with my friends. They have been there for me more times than I can count.
Sasha gives me a wicked grin that has me worried and squirming in my seat." I want to go out tomorrow night and you are going with me. I am going to find you a man." Ignoring my unhinged jaw hanging open, she addresses Tony. "Do you have plans or can you join us?"
"Oh hell no," I groan shaking my head adamantly. "The last time you set me up, I ended up stranded at a fancy restaurant having to pay a ridiculously high bill all by myself because my date conveniently left his wallet at home." Pointing an accusing finger at her, I continue. "You are a horrible match maker, my friend. The worst."
A few giggles escape her lips and she apologizes once again for setting me up with one of her brother's best friends. "If it makes you feel better, my brother beat the crap out of him for it and he has now garnished the nickname douche from all the guys for pulling that stunt."
I can't help but smile at that thought. "That does make me feel a bit better."
Our food finally arrives and we all dive in. The warm spicy soup tastes amazing and helps to ease my troubled mood. I know my friends mean well, but starting out fresh all on my own has been hard. I am still not used to the silence that greets me every night when I come home. At night I fall asleep with my radio on just so I have something to listen to instead of the vast nothingness that constantly surrounds me. Maybe I should get a cat, but only one, because the thought of turning into 'the cat woman' scares the shit out of me.
To my utter delight my non-existent sex life is dropped and we spend the remainder of lunch talking about work and family issues. Tony tells us about his younger sister, Kami, new boy toy and Sasha gushes about a new client she just took on who in the running for one of the top ten spots as Texas's wealthiest bachelor. I give the poor man a week before she has him wrapped around her finger. Men fall all the time for her long gorgeous golden blonde hair and soft blue eyes. Her small petite stature and perky boobs do not hurt either. She could give Barbie a run for her money any day.
As our waitress clears away our plates I ready myself so I can hurry back to work knowing I only have about fifteen minutes left before my boss will notice my late departu
re. Throwing money on the table to cover my portion of the bill, I shift nervously feeling my friends' eyes on me once again.
"What?" I huff glaring back at their concerned faces.
"Tomorrow night, you are all ours, baby," Tony states. "Eat something when you get home and we will pick you up by 8:00 for a night out on the town."
"If you need something hot to wear you can borrow one of my outfits," Sasha adds, knowing my wardrobe is beyond pathetic and in need of a makeover. "That green halter dress I have would look amazing on you and complement those sparkling eyes of yours."
"I never agreed to going out," I screech. Glancing around the table I quickly realize no amount of begging and pleading is going to change their minds. I am going out whether I want to or not.
"Did you have other Friday night plans that you forgot to mention?" Tony asks knowing damn well I do not.
"No," I say with a heavy heart realizing that my friends know me all too well. I need to get out more and stop moping around my apartment feeling sorry for myself.
"Good, then there is nothing to stop you from joining us." He throws an arm around my shoulder as we exit the restaurant and all head towards our cars. "We promise you will not regret it. By the end of the night you will be thanking us tenfold for making you get out and shake that gorgeous ass of yours."
I kiss him them both on the cheek goodbye and climb into my little red Mazda coupe wondering what in the hell I just got myself into. Right after leaving Gary, I jumped head first into the dating pool, and quickly learned that I knew nothing about how to make small talk or how to get past the get to know you stage. I really suck at dating.
With only ten minutes left of my lunch time left, I hurry back to my office at Simons and Cash where I have worked since graduation as an interior decorator. My boss Cherie Simons has always been lenient with my schedule, but this afternoon we have a new large potential client coming in and I promised to help her close the deal. Cherie has taught me so much and I am grateful for her taking a chance and hiring me right after graduation with no experience under my belt. Since I have been with the company I have moved up from being a simple decorating assistant with a small cubical the size of a child's closet to having my own office with a beautiful view of downtown and my own secretary.