Manhattan

by Steiner, Kandi

  I typed out a text to Kylie.

  I want to see you.

  The little bouncing dots showed up immediately, letting me know she was typing, and then a picture of her and Betty out by the pool making silly faces filled my screen. She wasn’t wearing sunglasses, so she was squinting against the sun, and her long hair was wet and sticking to her cheeks.

  She was the cutest thing ever.

  Keeping that one forever. But I meant in real life. What’s next on that list of adventures you have for us?

  A few more customers checked out, and when they were gone, it was just me in the gift shop. I sat on the bar stool behind the counter, and when I saw the text lighting up my phone, I smiled.

  Pick me up at eight and find out.

  Kylie lived with her dad in a small, two-bedroom apartment on the edge of town.

  I could still remember when they moved out of their old house, the one she’d grown up in, the one she’d made memories with her mom in. She’d been so heartbroken to leave it, but she’d tried so hard not to show it so that she didn’t upset her dad.

  It seemed she was always afraid to break him even more than her mother’s death already had.

  That’s why it was no surprise to me when I pushed through the front door and found them there at the little folding table they called a dining table, Mr. Nelson wiping his mouth with a napkin while Kylie cleared the table.

  “Evening, folks,” I said in my best southern Tennessee accent. “Leave any for me?”

  “Mikey, my boy!” Mr. Nelson exclaimed, opening his arms wide. He grinned at me with what I always called his Wolverine smile — the one that creased the edges of his tired eyes. “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”

  “I told you we were hanging out tonight,” Kylie argued, rolling her eyes as she stacked their plates together. She turned to me then, and a smile that hit me square in the chest bloomed on her beautiful face. “Hey.”

  I smiled back. “Hey, yourself.”

  “Are you really hungry? I can heat up a plate for you,” she said, already hurrying to the small kitchen that was just a few steps away.

  I let myself in, closing the door behind me and tucking the box I’d brought with me under one arm. “Nah, you know Mom wouldn’t let me leave without stuffing me like a turkey first.”

  “Woman after my own heart,” Kylie said, flipping on the faucet to rinse the dishes.

  “I know that feeling well,” Mr. Nelson chimed in, eyeing his daughter with a rueful smile as he rubbed his belly. “Been trying to lose ten pounds, but it’s impossible living with this one.”

  “Trust me, Pops,” she said over the running water. “Eating Easy Mac and hot dogs would not help you lose ten pounds. Maybe ten years off your life, but not ten pounds.”

  “I’d throw some tuna salad sandwiches in the mix from time to time,” he argued. His daughter rolled her eyes again, which made him chuckle before he turned back to me and patted the now-empty seat next to him at the table. “Come sit, Mikey. Haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays. How ya been?”

  I took the seat next to him, setting the box I’d brought on the table. “Oh, you know me. Staying in trouble and out of grace.”

  “Only way to be as a young man,” Mr. Nelson said. “I heard through the grapevine that you’re moving to The Big Apple at the end of the summer?”

  The sound of dishes clinking and sponge rubbing against plate ceased in the kitchen — just for a split second — almost short enough that I thought I imagined it, and then Kylie was back to scrubbing. I cleared my throat, swallowing against the sense that I was about to say something wrong. “That’s the plan.”

  Mr. Nelson whistled. “I’ve never been, but Patricia spent a year there. She loved that city of lights. Said she didn’t sleep the whole time she was there.”

  “Mom lived in New York?” Kylie asked from where she was rinsing the dishes now.

  “She did.”

  Kylie frowned. “I didn’t know that.”

  “She never talked about it,” Mr. Nelson said. “I think she wanted everyone to think this had always been the plan — to be a dance teacher here in Stratford. And not that she wasn’t amazing at that,” he added, throwing his hands up. “Because she was. Best damn dance teacher this town ever had. But, when we were younger, before college and all that… well… she wanted to be a ballerina. And you know what? I think she could have been. She was a damn good dancer.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Oh, she fell in love with an old fuddy duddy who didn’t want to leave the comfort of southern Tennessee.” He winked at me, but something in his eyes tinged him with a true sadness. “A year apart was already too long for her, and she didn’t want to do another year without me. So, she came back home, drove to and from Nashville three times a week to earn her degree and made a different career out of her passion.”

  “I didn’t know any of that,” Kylie said, and I glanced at her over my shoulder, chest tightening at the sorrow in her own eyes.

  “Well, again, it wasn’t something we talked about often,” Mr. Nelson said, slapping his thighs and forcing a smile to change the subject. “Anyhoo, the city never was my thing, but I reckon you’ll love it. You got a job lined up?”

  “Not yet,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “But I’m working on it. Figured at the very least, there oughta be a few gift shops there, don’t ya think?”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t suppose you’re wrong about that.” He nodded toward the box in my hands then. “You bring dessert?”

  “If I was a smarter man, I would have,” I replied, pushing the box across the table toward him. “It’s actually a gift. Something I picked up that I thought you might like.”

  “For me?” Mr. Nelson raised his eyebrows, looking at his daughter like he was impressed before he popped the lid on the box. Then, his smile covered his entire face and he clapped his hands together in joy. “Well, I’ll be damned! Look at that!”

  He pulled the hat from the box, smoothing his hands over the felt before he put it on his head and looked to Kylie for approval.

  “Looks great, Dad,” she said. “Now you’ve got the complete outfit.”

  “It’s the right kind, right?” I asked, nervous. “I saw it in the pawn shop window, and thought it looked pretty legit, but wasn’t sure.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Mr. Nelson said, taking it off to inspect it closer. “This is a mighty fine Union kepi hat. Looks even better than the one I lost.”

  “Well, I’m glad that hat was all you lost in battle, sir.”

  Mr. Nelson chuckled, reaching out to take my hand in his and shake it firmly. “You’re a good kid, Mikey. Thank you.”

  “Alright, dishes are all done. There’s sherbet in the freezer. You can have two scoops,” Kylie warned her father, pointing a finger at him before she tucked her hair behind her ear and slid her hands in her back pockets. “Don’t think I won’t know if you take more.”

  Mr. Nelson grumbled something under his breath, but Kylie just smiled and bent over to kiss his forehead.

  Then, she turned to me.

  She was in a soft, winter-green shirt that I’d seen her wear a hundred times, one she got for volunteering at the summer bake-off the church had the summer after eighth grade. Her jean shorts were dark and modest, cuffed mid-thigh, and her long hair was still a little damp, which told me she was freshly showered.

  I’d seen her like that a million times before.

  And yet, I couldn’t help but see her differently every single time I looked at her now.

  “I just need to grab my shoes and I’ll be ready,” she said, thumbing toward the hall behind her. “Be right back?”

  “Okay,” I said, grinning.

  “Okay,” she responded, and with a blush shading her cheek, she scampered down the hall.

  When I looked back at Mr. Nelson, he had one eyebrow in his hairline and an amused, slightly scary smile on his face.

  I swallowed.

&nbs
p; “Something you wanna tell me, son?”

  I cleared my throat, crossing my ankle over my knee. “No, sir.”

  “Mm-hmm,” he said, still watching me. “Listen, I may be old, but I’m not blind, and I know when there’s a change in my daughter. She came home and cried herself to sleep in that bedroom Friday night, and then came home happy as a clam Sunday evening. And while I may not know the details of what’s going on, I’d wager it has something to do with you.”

  I gulped again, but kept my eyes on his.

  “Now, it’s none of my business what you two do as friends,” he said. “But, the minute you become more, my need-to-know-basis requirements double. You understand?”

  “I do, sir.”

  “Good,” he said. “You’re a good kid, and I know you care about Kylie. But I also know you’re a boy, and since I was one myself, I know all too well how stupid a boy can be. So, before you do anything that might break that girl’s heart in there,” he said, nodding down the hall. “You best remember that’s my one and only baby, and you’ll have me to answer to.”

  I’d had a similar talking to from Bailey’s father the first time I’d picked her up to go on a date, but for some reason, this time felt more intense. This was Kylie’s dad, a man I’d considered a second father since I was eight years old. I’d stayed so many nights on his couch that I couldn’t count them up if I tried to. We’d had holiday dinners together, spent summer nights watching movies as a family of sorts, and when Kylie had gone through something that had her shutting down from the world, he’d always turned to me for help.

  One thing was clear: it didn’t matter how much history we had. Mr. Nelson was making sure I understood my place, and his expectations for what would come next.

  My brother’s warning from earlier rang in my ears, but I ignored it, nodding instead and smiling at Kylie’s dad. “I would never intentionally hurt her,” I promised him. “And I’ll fight off my natural stupidity as best I can.”

  He smirked at that, reaching over to pat my hand. “‘Atta boy.”

  “Ready?” Kylie asked in the next breath, but when she saw my face, she narrowed her eyes at her father. “Dad, what did you just say to him?”

  “Just talking about sports, Smiley,” he answered, picking up his new hat and dusting a piece of lint off it. He shooed us away. “Have fun.”

  She narrowed her eyes farther, but I hopped up, putting my arm around her shoulders and guiding her out the door before she could ask anything else.

  When we were in her truck, she paused, holding the key in the ignition without turning it. “What did he say to you?” she asked.

  “Nothing that concerns you.”

  She pouted, which earned her a chuckle and a kiss on the cheek, and that seemed to flush any other questions she had out of her mind.

  “Now,” I said, slipping my hand over her knee. She looked down at the embrace with another blush, her hair falling in front of her face a bit before she looked up at me and cranked the engine to life. “Where we going?”

  Kylie

  “I think I might throw up.”

  “You better not!” Mikey screamed up at me. “Remember, I’m below you here. I didn’t sign up for the splash zone.”

  I laughed, gripping onto the rusty metal ladder even tighter. My next step was just as trembly as the one before it, and I forced a breath, blowing it out through pursed lips.

  “I don’t remember it being this scary when we were ten,” Mikey called up.

  “We were fearless. We didn’t think we could die.”

  “Well, I seem to be acutely aware of that fact now.”

  I laughed again, stopping to get my balance before I took another step. “Stop making me laugh! I’m going to fall.”

  “You won’t fall. I’d catch you.”

  “Sure. You’d catch me. Right before we both tumbled to our death.”

  “Hey, this was your idea, Indiana Jones. Now, climb. We’re almost there.”

  Steadying myself, I took a few calming breaths before I started climbing again. The rest of the journey was silent, and when I reached the top, I peeled my backpack off and collapsed, feeling the cool grate of the metal on my damp back.

  “Oh, thank God,” Mikey said when he joined me, flopping down on the other side of the opening where the ladder met the base. “You know we’ll have to die up here, right? Because there’s no way I can climb back down.”

  A hearty laugh left my chest, and I sat up, still winded, breathing like it was Everest we’d just climbed and not the Stratford water tower on the south side of town. My eyes traced the bright red letters that spelled out our town’s name, each one outlined in black, and our only claim to fame in small, italic print below it.

  Home of the Tennessee State Champions Football Team — Go Cats!

  Beneath that, in everything from Sharpie and pencil to spray paint and knife-carvings, were names and phrases and years that had been scrawled over time, people marking their place.

  Jessie was here.

  Color guard team 2005.

  Mark and Lisa 4ever.

  I smiled, reaching into my bag for a bottle of water. I tossed it to Mikey before digging one out for me, too.

  He sat up, took a long swig, and then crawled over to sit next to me, both of us leaning back against the tower with our eyes on the town spread out below us.

  “It looks kind of pretty at night,” Mikey said, scanning the lights. He pointed to the American flag blowing in the breeze on the hill east of town, the one that welcomed visitors to our little map dot. The flag was lit up with a spotlight, and right behind it was a giant, illuminated cross.

  “It does,” I agreed. My gut twisted as I took another sip of water, eyes falling to my lap. “Sure you won’t miss this view when you leave?”

  “Nah,” he said easily — so easily my heart broke a little more. “This is nothing compared to the Manhattan skyline.”

  “You’re not scared of a city that big?” I asked. “Of all those people, all those buildings and cars and… and…” I waved my hand. “Just, all of that?”

  Mikey leaned his head back against the tower, thinking. “Honestly? No, not even a little bit. I think that’s what I’m most excited about. No one will know me, and I won’t know anyone, either. And there’s so much to do, so much to see, so many possibilities of how to fill your time. There are paths of life there that I don’t even know exist yet, you know? It feels like… I don’t know, like I can be whoever I want to be. Like a rebirth.”

  I nodded, with my eyes still on my hands, unable to look at him when he talked about leaving so easily.

  “Hey,” he said, thumbing my chin until I looked at him. “I’m not gone yet, okay?”

  I nodded, attempting a smile. And even though I wanted to pout and give up on my stupid idea that our list of adventures would open up his eyes to how much he loved this town and make him stay, I couldn’t give up hope. Not yet.

  Especially not now that we were… whatever we were.

  I chewed the inside of my cheek, the words on the tip of my tongue to ask him to define exactly what that was. Because if the end of the summer came and I couldn’t make him stay, then what did it mean when he left?

  I knew it was still new. I knew it was silly to already be anxious and wondering if we had a title or a definition. But now that we weren’t just friends anymore, I didn’t know where to put us.

  And it felt a lot like I was in danger of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  “What about you?” he asked, tapping my nose before he sat back again. “You’ve got this whole gap year to fill. What do you want to do with it?”

  I groaned, leaning my head back against the tower with my eyes on the town again. “I wish I knew.”

  “You don’t have any ideas?”

  “I mean, I want to travel… but I don’t know where. Or how far I could actually get with what little savings I have. And then there’s… well, I just don’t know if traveling is the best
thing for me to do right now.”

  “Because of your dad.”

  My stomach turned. “Yeah.”

  Mikey leaned up, turning in place until he faced me. “You can’t stay in that apartment with him forever, Ky. He’s a grown man. He’ll be okay. And he wants you to go live your life.”

  “Will he be okay, though?” I asked, looking at him then. “I mean, really okay? I’ve taken care of him for so long now, I’m not sure.”

  “Trust me,” he assured. “Once you leave, he’ll figure it out. It might take him a little while to get a rhythm going, but he will. And regardless, it’s not your job to care for him.”

  “But I love him. I care about him. I want him to be okay.”

  “And he wants you to get out and live,” Mikey said. Then, he wrapped his hand over my knee, holding it like it was the most natural thing in the world despite how it made a wave of chills race up my shorts. “If money wasn’t an issue, and you knew your dad would be one-hundred percent okay in your absence, where would you go?”

  I looked up at the sky, at the stars that broke through the dim light our town gave off. “I think I’d take a road trip,” I said, smiling. “Rent a camper van, check out some state parks and national parks, hike, camp.” I looked back at him with an embarrassed grin. “And probably stop at every animal shelter I could along the way.”

  He chuckled, his eyes wide and sparkling in the soft light from the tower. “That sounds amazing, Ky. You should do it.”

  I shrugged, looking at where his hand held my leg. I covered it with my own, feeling the smooth skin that stretched over his knuckles. “I dunno. We’ll see.” I swallowed. “Who knows, maybe New York will be on my list. Seems like it was a big place in my mom’s life… maybe it’d be great for me to see, too.” My eyes found his briefly. “Maybe I could visit.”

  Mikey flipped his hand over, and I traced his palm with my fingertips until he folded his fingers in with mine. “I’d like that,” he said.