by N Kuhn
“Want to explain this shit? Why the hell is my fiancé holding another man, having photos taken of her with another man?” he grabs my arm tightly, and I cry out in pain. “Getting in fights over some other man? Do you even care how embarrassed I am that my woman is in the headlines, presumed to be with this loser has never been musician?”
“Are you kidding me Aid-“ Travis interrupts me, his voice harsh.
“Listen man, nothing is going on. You’re good for her, the man that can give her the life she deserves. She was just being there for me as a friend when I found my mother dead. Don’t be mad at her. Please. It’s not her fault that these jackals follow me with cameras making up their own stories. But you do need to get your hands off of her, or I’m not going anywhere.”
“Travis, you don’t need to defend me, and I don’t have to explain myself to you Aiden. We aren’t engaged. I don’t know why you keep referring to me as your fiancé. You haven’t asked, and I sure as hell haven’t said yes. You need to leave.” I finally disentangle his fingers from my arm, wrenching away from him. Turning, Travis heads to his car.
“Not you Travis, you Aiden.” Travis looks over his shoulder at me.
“I’m sorry Britt. Really, please, tell your father thank you for everything.” Getting in his car, he peels out of the driveway, and out of my life. I’m left with the empty lonely feeling of someone who’s lost their soul mate.
“You asshole. Who do you think you are?” I shout at Aiden. Hearing raised voices, my parents rush out onto the porch.
“Everything okay princess?” My father asks, warily staring at Aiden. I’ve gotten the impression lately that he isn’t too pleased to have him around.
“Sir, everything is fine. I’m just wondering why your daughter insists on embarrassing your family, and me by being a spectacle in the tabloids. Why she always seems to be around that loser. He’s not worthy of her.” Turning to my mother, trying to use his smile that I once found charming, my parents just frown at him. He backs up a step.
“Aiden, maybe you should leave. You’re getting upset over nothing. Travis has been a part of Brittany’s life for many years. They are friends and I’m proud that in a moment he needed friends the most, she was there for him. He’s also one of her clients at the firm. So, I’m not sure if you expect her to turn her back on him, when he finds his mother dead, or what it is you think she should have done, but I feel my daughter is not embarrassing anyone. In fact, she’s making a strong vision for our firm. Showing potential clients that we are there for them no matter what. You happen to be the one flying into my driveway and causing a spectacle of yourself on my lawn.”
“Sir, I never thought of it that way. Of course, you’re right. I’m sorry babe,” he says, trying to reach out to me. Shrugging my shoulder out of his reach, I walk towards the house.
“Daddy, I need your help with those contracts that Travis dropped off.” Ignoring Aiden, I walk right past my mother, and into the house.
“Have a good night Aiden,” she says, ever the Stepford wife. Appearances, right mother?
Aiden has been blowing up my phone, but I haven’t felt up to answering. For two weeks, I’ve spent time moping around home. Stacey has called and threatened me a few times from jail, but she’s no longer a concern. So I’ve come to leaving my phone on silent. Travis won’t take my calls. Daddy won’t tell me where he moved to. He says that it’s not his place. Sitting in my room, packing my bags, I leave in two days for the final semester at college before taking the bar exams. A soft knock at the door, and in walks Aiden, without waiting for a response.
“You’ve been ignoring me. I thought something happened to you. I don’t appreciate being ignored. Here,” he throws a white garment bag onto my bed.
“What’s that?” I ask him.
“Our families have that charity ball tonight. I have been trying to find out what you’re wearing, so I can match, but since you haven’t answered your phone, I bought you something. You could at least say thank you, since it was quite expensive. Your mother thinks you’ll like it.”
“Thanks,” I mumble. I hadn’t planned on going. My night was going to be me, my kindle, and a bottle of wine. Apparently not any more. Unzipping the bag, the blue satin dress inside was long, and blowy, tight on top, with a modest neck lone, straps that hang down the sides of my arms. Looking up, he’s seems to be anxiously waiting me to say something.
“It’s beautiful, thank you. I’ll see you there.” Laying it back down, I continue packing my bags.
“Are you kidding me? That’s it? It’s a two thousand dollar dress Brittany. You could show your boyfriend a little more appreciation than that. Or are you too depressed about being caught with that trash?”
“Aiden, get out of my room. I have to get ready for tonight and I still have some contracts to get through. I’ll see you tonight.” Making his way around my bed, he stands in front of me. Forcefully tilting my chin, he grips my mouth with his lips, trying to kiss me. Unlike how he used to make me feel, it now makes me sick, to even let this man touch me. He’s not the person I thought him to be.
“Make sure you put your hair up, and it looks neat. My father has a photographer that will be making rounds. I’d like to have some decent pictures this time.” He turns and leave my room, and I stand there speechless. How is it he always manages to make me feel like shit with just a sentence?
Stepping out of the limo, I’m quickly the center of attention. My father tries to usher me into the hotel lobby quickly.
“Sorry Princess. I didn’t realize there would be this much press here tonight. You okay?” He holds my arm, looking at me with concern.
“I’m fine dad. What’s this event about again?”
“The charity our firm donates to. It’s for families of alcoholics. Helping support them, or if they are in danger, getting them out of them home. Getting the abuser help. Travis is going to play tonight. Some solo music he’s worked on.”
“Oh,” I say, looking at my father as anticipation crawls through my stomach. No sooner had we entered the ballroom, then Aiden stalks over to me. My hand flies to the twisted up do that my mother helped me with. Running my other hand down my dress, I think I look good, hopefully he will not find any faults. As he stalks over, I remember why I found him attractive in the first place. His blue eyes shine like the ocean, his smile causing dimples on his baby face. If I didn’t know him like I do, I would have thought he was dashing, charming. I know better though. Grabbing my shoulders, he leans in to kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear.
“Did you have to wear those shoes? You look like a hooker. Please don’t embarrass me tonight in front of my father and his friends. They are very important to me making my career in the business world.” Shock waves through me. I can’t believe it. Of course there would be something wrong with me. All thoughts I just had about him being attractive are gone, replaced by the sickly feeling of regret and hatred.
Plastering a fake smile on my face, I follow him around the room as he introduces me to everyone we run across. Standing next to him, bored, as he speaks business, my attention falls on Travis. He’s standing with my parents. The tuxedo he has on is molded to his body. The slight definition in his biceps strains the material. His hair is nicely slicked back, but not oily looking or fake, like Aiden’s.
“Excuse me Aiden, I’m sorry, my mother is trying to get my attention. It was wonderful to meet you gentlemen,” I acknowledge the men we were standing with. Aiden watches me walk away and when I glance back, I see his face redden with anger as he notices Travis standing there.
“Mom, dad, Travis. How are you?” I ask, giving him a hug.
“I’m great. I can’t believe your father got me here, to perform. I feel like a monkey in this suit, but I’m so excited. I’ve been working on new music since I started rehab. I’m nervous.”
“You’ll do great son. Plus, now that the issues with your contract are settled, you’re going to be great.” Smiling at my dad, it warms my h
eart to see him so happy.
“Travis, can we dance?” I ask him boldly. I know this will upset Aiden, but I really need to speak with Trav. Taking my hand, he leads me to the floor where a few other couples dance to the orchestra that currently plays.
From the corner of my eye, I can see Aiden watching me like a hawk. I place my hands on Travis’ shoulders.
“Trav, I’m glad we could help you. Now that you’re out of a shoddy contract, and clean, you’ll be so good. You’re gonna be bigger than your father. I just know it.”
“Thanks Britt. Listen, about the other day, I’m so-“ cutting him off, I shake my head no.
“Don’t be. I wanted it. I miss you so much. I’ll always love you Trav. But, I know you have to go out and live your life, and so do I.” Nodding, he spies Aiden moving closer to us.
“I just wish you were happier,” he sighs. “Is he an ass to you all the time? You deserve to be treated like gold. I only want to know you’re happy.”
“To be honest, I don’t know what I want. But I do want you to know, that no matter what, I’m here for you, and I’m so proud of you. You can do anything Trav. The world is yours to take. You can do it.” Smiling the first genuine smile I’ve had in weeks, his lips whisper across my cheek.
“I’ll always love you Britt.” With that, he lets go of me and walks away. As I watch him, I feel Aiden yank me to him. I hadn’t even heard him walk up.
“Didn’t I say don’t embarrass me? Dancing with your druggie ex?”
“He just wanted to thank me for helping with his contract. Please calm down so you don’t cause a scene.” This did the trick. His fake happiness and charm flows back over his face.
The rest of the evening was pretty easy. After the auction, my father walks on stage to announce the larger monetary donations. He usually makes sure the crowd gives notice where it’s due. When he looks right at me, my heart stops. With a smile of pride on his face, he makes his announcement.
“I’d like to thank tonight’s donor. Though he wanted it done privately, this young man has made me so proud of him. Not wanting the spotlight taken off of the serious matter that we battle daily through this foundation, I feel he’s wrong. We do need to commend him. He’s not only battled alcoholism, but is now trying to help others. I like to think of him as a son.” I hear my father’s voice choking up. “Travis Dane has just donated fifty percent of his new signing contract to the foundation. That’s six hundred thousand dollars.” The whole place goes crazy with applause, and I see him, standing off to the side, trying to not be noticed. My breath catches and a lump forms in my throat. What an amazing thing for him to have done. Gone is the selfish, rowdy party boy I used to know, now replaced by one of the greatest men I know.
“Travis, come on up, and thank you everyone, please enjoy the music.”
Travis walked onto stage, with his guitar. Sitting on a stool in front of a mic, the room dims, and a spotlight shines down on him. His face is red with embarrassment.
“I just want to thank everyone here for this event. It’s a matter very dear to me. I’m sure you have all heard of my problems. If it weren’t for this charity, for Joshua Landers and all of you, I may not be here. This is something new, I wrote while in rehab and as of tonight is the launch of my solo career, I hope you like it.” After a short round of applause, he begins playing. The slow melody sinks right through me, all those feelings I used to have for him tempt me, beg me to run to him on stage and reclaim him as my own. But when he opens his mouth and that raspy voice sings, I’m immobilized. Paralyzed with all my feelings weighing me down. Love, lust, regret, a warmth fulfilling me just at the sound of his voice.
Take me back to your love
To your arms take me back
Keep me from harm
Take me back don’t let me go
Quite a mess take me back
Take me back because I’m sorry
Hold on to my love
Don't let go I know I don’t deserve
Only you know it won’t let go
Hold on keep me warm
Hold me tight hold on in your heart
Through the hours of the night
And only you know it's OK
When he finishes, I reach up, to the tears falling down my face. Aiden notices, and grabs my hand, yanking me to my feet. Dragging me to the stage, he grabs the mic.
“Hey man, that was great. Listen, I’m sorry to interrupt the little concert here, but I couldn’t hold it anymore.” Getting down on one knee, I look around confused. Travis, his face showing the hurt, and understanding of what’s going on, I still am not able to comprehend the situation. Feeling Aiden yank my hand, he slides a big diamond on my finger.
“Brittany Landers, would you please do me the honor of being my beautiful wife?” Without waiting for an answer, he stands, pulling me into his arms, kissing me. As I try to not throw up, I see Travis over Aiden’s shoulder. His jaw tight, shoulders hunched. He picks the mic up off the floor, putting it back on the stand.
“Congratulations to the happy couple,” he announces, clapping then returning to his stool. A shell shocked ghost of myself, as if lost in a trance, I allow Aiden to guide me back to the table with our parents. My mother, ever the Stepford wife, has a fake smile on her face, my father, looking just as shocked as I am, leans over.
“You wanna get out of here Princess?” As if knowing I was just railroaded, his understanding of me wanting an escape means more than he will ever know. Shaking his head, he helps me stand.
“Son, we’ll talk soon,” he places a hand on Aiden’s shoulder. The man looks like the hunter who just took down big game. His father and mine shake hands. He calls after me.
“Where do you think you’re going? The night’s not over. Now we have to celebrate. Everyone is going to want to congratulate us.”
“Aiden, I have to finish packing. I leave for school tomorrow night.”
“Well, I figured since we were getting married, you wouldn’t have to worry about all that. You’re not going to need to work.” His father comes to my rescue.
“Son, she put so many years into it already, let her get her degree, and be proud of her. Josh, golf tomorrow?” Aiden’s father asks. My father agrees then rushes me out the door. Travis continues playing on stage, but I feel his eyes following me.
The next night, right before I need to head to the airport, I pull the ring off my finger, and place it in the envelope. Sealing it, I head downstairs. My bags are packed and ready. Handing the package to my father, he just nods. I’ve asked he give it to Aiden. Inside, is the ring he gave me, and a letter.
Aiden,
I’m sorry to do it this way, but there’s no way I can face you. All you do is walk over me, and I can’t convey what I’m really feeling. When we met, you were a safe harbor during a storm. I needed someone, and I think you sensed the vulnerability in me. Taking advantage, you have since tried to control me, and mold me into someone I’m not. Your cruel words, and nasty sayings are going to make you a lonely, empty man.
I would never marry someone like you, if you were the last man on earth. I don’t want to be someone’s trophy wife, treated like an accessory to make them look better. My father is appalled that you didn’t even have the gall to ask him for my hand first. That’s very important in our family. Even he is disgusted by the things he has heard you say to me. I hope you go to hell, and by the way, I fucked Travis the other day. Whether on drugs or sober, he’s ten times the man you will ever be, you spineless piece of shit.
~Britt
Picking up my last bag, I walk out to my father’s waiting car, ready to face my future with more certainty than ever. One of my bags is filled with something I think Travis will really appreciate. Since taking over his legal work and much more, my father set up a PO Box here in Buffalo for his fan mail. We have an intern check it weekly, and send out auto replies that Travis stamped with his signature. But these letters, these are important. He’s going to want to see them, a
nd I can’t help but smile. The boy I fell in love with all those years ago, is finally a man. A great man, who’s changing lives, including my own.
Chapter 11
Travis
The Awards
Sitting in the stuffed auditorium at the music awards is the last place I want to be right now. Bas, Max and Duke are two rows in front of me, right next to my father. Since splitting, none of them have spoken to me, not even my father. His last words to me were ‘I was only looking out for you son, I made you what you were.’ I also haven’t talked to Brittany since the night of the charity event, where her life took a turn for the perfect two and a half kids with white picket fences. She’s called me a few times, but I could never make myself answer.
Struggling with not drinking is harder than I thought it would be. It’s a daily battle. So many things in life revolve around it. Concerts where drunks roam the building and sidewalks, meetings with whine, whiskey or whatever else the label execs want. I’ve managed to stay clean for four years now. Granted, yes, my thoughts turn to Britt all the time, with the what ifs. But now that she’s an attorney, I know she’s bound to be happy. Her father thankfully doesn’t ever mention her when we talk. He still handles all my legal battles for me. We also still talk weekly. He helped me buy my new house in Spalding Lake. The homes here are nice, and the families mind their own business. Having someone famous around doesn’t faze them, and most are richer than I am.