"Is this what you want?" Its deep voice spoke to me. "To live as you please in my land and die a senseless death?"
I was baffled at the madness. This creature was speaking to me. I could only cower in fear
"Why do you shiver in fear, Cognata? We both know what you are and what you can do."
"You know of my kind?" I asked, surprised by its knowledge as it circled around me - ready at any given opportunity to pounce.
"Hahaha!" It laughed, "Know of your kind? Am I such a forgotten relic that new blood drinkers now grow ignorant of their cousins' existence? What do you take me for, little nightwalker?"
As if I thought I'd seen it all, man alive - I couldn't be more wrong. It shifted its shape; changing right in front of my eyes to become something more. It molded itself into a man. A strong, sturdy, stocky man with white hair and a rugged beard and the red eyes that never changed away.
"What are you?!" I yelped, dumbfounded by what was happening "How do you know what I am?"
"You were made into a blood drinker and they refused to teach you of the others? How fitting for the Halonic Society." His tongue wrapped in anger.
I looked back at the campfire momentarily
"Were you the one who rescued me?"
"That was my doing, yes."
"Why... "
"You don't seem to know who you are, do you?"
"I... I had a name." I lied to myself. "Now I'm not so sure."
"Sit." He pointed his strong hand to the spot I awoke from my slumber in, but I did not obey his request. I kept eye on him.
"Little nightwalker, if I wanted to kill you, it would be over in less than the skip of your heartbeat." He reassured me cockily.
"And you presume I would not defend myself?" I tested the beast's challenge.
"You would try and you would fail. Miserably." He flatly stated. "Now sit, rest your flesh. You are weak and far from a position of authority."
The fires highlighted tidbits of his features. His face was hard, forged by survival and strength. His rugged body more or less mirrored the same effect and it was riddled in scars that each told an olden tale of its own.
As horrified as I was, I still felt the need for punishment. Should he strike me down, it would only be in my wanting. This man, or creature, shapeshifter or whatever he was - seemed less interested in killing me and more curious in general. The fact that he knew of my own bloodthirst also drew my own curiosity. This is when I realized, he was the wolf who had been following me.
"Why did you save me?" I asked, warming my hands over the fire.
"Why didn't you save yourself?" He retorted, heading to the thick of the trees, leaving me to sit and squabble about for an answer. I couldn't say I wanted to kill myself. It wouldn't exactly be the truth. In the end, the truth was simple. I was only curious. Silence got the better of me as I sat there ruminating. I couldn't talk.
"I don't know." I lied and also, I whispered so that he wouldn't hear me.
"Sounds like a bitter excuse." His rugged voice sung from the shadows as he emerged with the mutilated corpse of a deer, "To evade one's calling."
"Amusing words for one who lives out in the wilderness. Who better to cower than you?"
"Am I to imagine you came to join me?" He snarled, tossing the animal's remains aside for what I thought was perhaps, a meal for later, "To live the last, glorious days of the Hunters?"
"I do not know what riddles you speak of, beast-man, but you will do well to keep them far from me. I have no desire to engage in those loops." I paused, thinking on Aristide and his demise. "I've done that long enough."
"Ahh... " He cautiously sat himself on the opposite end of me, breathing a sigh of relief as if he'd been hunting that animal he had just brought all day, "You ran away from the riddle you were meant to solve."
"I did not run away. I was chased away... "
"Whatever you wish to call it. You ran from your destiny." The thing about this man that was so striking was his acute difference to the other strange creatures I had encountered. He did not feel the need to be intimidating. He operated on a level of strength and comfort with himself, but there was a disdain or a very blatant sarcasm he held toward outsiders and maybe society at large; traits of a true hermit.
"I've been watching you for some time, little nightwalker. You do not belong here. You should go back."
I shook my head at his ignorance. How could be know what I'd been through? What I'd seen? What I knew? How dare he - "I cannot go back. There are people waiting to capture me."
"There are always people willing to capture you." He unsheathed some knives from under a patch of leaves. He was about to skin the animal, "To make you their... "
"I'm sorry!" I interrupted him abruptly, irritated beyond measure - "Was it your plan all this time, trailing and stalking me - to capture me and bore me into your philosophy? I will give no ear to your thinly coined 'wisdom'."
He started laughing at me like I were some arrogant child, shaking his head in a motion to forget it. It annoyed me how he treated me. It was such a dramatic difference from Aristide. I was not used to it. I wanted to challenge him once more but I knew he'd downplay me. There were clearly things this man knew that I did not. Not to mention... he did save me. I'd forgotten my manners.
"Thank you... " I quietly spoke against the chapping of the flames while he skinned the animal. He simply nodded at me and went ahead to continue his work. I pulled the blanket closer as my mind zoned into the dancing flames reflectively - "What do I call you?"
"Sergio."
'Sergio'I imitated the way he slapped his tongue around his mouth to say it
"What of you? Have you decided on a name for yourself?" He asked
"You can call me whatever you want to call me." My self-loathing was far from over.
"Misty White." He pointed his knife at me like he was marking me from the distance with a subtle smile, "It suits you well. You are clearly royalty and clearly, clueless."
I sighed in ignorance. It pained me that I was the one who was left in the dark. Even now, someone else held the cards?
"If you find me ignorant, please, go ahead - enlighten me. Show me, the 'little nightwalker', what it is she does not know."
"I plan to." He went back to his preparation on the animal. "Until then, get some rest. You will need the strength for the truth when it's time."
There was not much to say after that. Sergio was not a man to second question. I closed my eyes, rested my head and trotted off into dreamland. I allowed whatever my mind decided upon unconsciously to haunt me and I would not be disappointed. Aristide's face came to me. No matter how I twisted and turned, I did not get much sleep. A few patches here and there, but nothing to remark on.
The beginnings of the daylight arrived. The sun shot its rays through the leaves, touching my face lightly. I turned away from it, rolling to the other side so my hair would block it away, until I noticed I was simply unable to sleep. I propped my body upright, still sitting and there, Sergio threw me some makeshift garments he'd made out of the slain animal's skin the night before.
"Put these on." He said as if he were waiting a long time for me to wake up.
The supposed 'clothes' were smelly and dirty. They were just enough to cover my soft parts - nothing more. The rest of me was exposed. I scoffed at how far I'd fallen, thinking on the aristocratic life I'd lost while I kneaded the hide in my hands.
"You'll need it for the hike." He commented.
I looked up at him, noticing he was in similar garb - a little codpiece to cover his manhood and a strap across his shoulder where he carried a sheathed knife.
"Where are we going?" I asked in hesitation.
"To find your truth." He was undoubtedly prepared for my resistance.
My sleep was horrendous, though to be fair - I couldn't recall the last time I'd had a good night's rest out in the wilderness. Besides my mental anguish, I often found myself hungry and deprived, especially when I could not feast on fresh
blood. My sexual appetite was also thirsting, although I could not say I felt much attraction to Sergio and no, it was not because he was a wolf, or because he was unattractive in the least. In truth, his rugged features plucked the strings of my wilder instincts. I just couldn't tell if he'd kill me or not. However, he was the most forthcoming of the strange creatures I'd met over the years. It'd be best for me to at least give him credit for that.
The journey wasn't an easy one. I moaned and complained as we brushed past all the elements of bush, wetlands and trees. Sometimes I found myself cursing the trip, even threatening to run off into the wilds. Sergio never gave in to my princess behavior. He was unmoved and carried himself like a man determined to unearth a treasure and I had to see it - no matter what. I was at the point where I felt my legs about to give up under me, until we arrived at a cave, neatly tucked away near a fountain by nature's vines. Sergio halted.
I assumed we were where we needed to be so I spoke up, "Is this your truth?" My tone was admittedly defiant - in a sense, I wanted to prove him wrong. I both hated and loved being challenged. This man was providing that mental stimulation for me. I didn't think of it back then, but believe me, he was.
Sergio did not answer me. He jumped into the fountain, seeing that it was the only way forward to enter the cave. I was struck by how either ignorant or stupid, or maybe both, he could be. The touch of water is like acid to a blood drinker. He rescued me from it and now he wanted to throw me back into it?
"I cannot follow you there!" I protested.
"You will have to, little nightwalker."
"Are you mad? I will burn alive."
He turned to me with a face that said, 'Oh really?'
That made me furious. The way this man belittled me was nothing short of unacceptable.
"There must be another way around."
"There is no other way." He stood still in the water as it slushed around his chest, "Now, it's either you are the one they say you are, or you are a coward - the same mongrel I found begging to end its pitiful existence."
"How dare you!" I shouted, feeling a nerve nearly pop in my neck. I wanted to lunge at him and bite out his filthy neck. Mongrel? How dare he! I was more than willing to show him how feral I could get. Then we'd see who's really the bloody wolf...
"Fine!" I stood defiant, then I took a few steps back, paced myself forward and ran right for the fountain; my sight dead set on Sergio. Oh yes, I was planning to lunge at him - tear that pitiful dog to shreds, but I'd soon find myself at his mercy - the moment I dove into the pool, I could feel the water moving from warm, to hot, to fire. The pain was unbearable. A relentless agony tore into my flesh and I found myself convulsing. The irony of it. Before? When I wanted to die? I did not feel this much pain. Now that I wanted to survive, I felt myself fighting against it and that made it so much worse.
The thought that disturbed me the most, was that Sergio would watch me drown. As I started to fade away to the other side, I kept thinking just how alone I am and how alone I had always been. The thought was killing me. I could not stand to think of it. This was the moment he decided to reach out and pull me up. I hacked and coughed up a great deal of water, desperately trying to catch my breath as the acidic feeling slowly evaporated from my upper body, but my lower body was still submerged. I was still in very deep pain.
"Let me out!" I shouted at Sergio who was trying to hold me still and calm me down.
"You are only making it worse!" He raised his tone in an attempt to soothe me, but I was wild and emotional. I did not want to hear his words. I wanted him to get me out.
"Listen to me!" He demanded coldly, "Focus! Concentrate on the water. Feel it course through your body like it did when you were a creature of mere flesh. Know that the water cannot harm you. You alone are allowing it and you have the power to stop it!"
"What?!" I couldn't believe he was trying to give me a lesson while my flesh was rending from my bones, "Please! Get me... "
"Shut up!" He stopped me. "Concentrate!"
I was in no position to battle with him. I was already weakened from the fall and Sergio was keeping me locked in place. Tears streamed down my face, mixed with pure, unfiltered hate - hate for the life I was cursed in. I focused that energy toward the water - painting a picture in my mind where the water could not harm me. I saw myself enjoying it again. Unafraid but focused and clear.
"Concentrate... " He whispered, "Know the water is your ally. Not your foe."
With eyes shut, I blocked everything out. I went into a deep, meditative state and then, all was clear. The unspeakable agony that tormented me was gone. I slowly reopened my eyes to see Sergio hadn't let go of me. He was waiting to see the results.
"Do you feel pain?" He asked
"No." I neutrally stated, staring dead into his eyes.
A quick thought crossed my mind, whether my legs had been burned off and that started getting the better of me.
I immediately felt the fire rising against my thighs so I brushed the stupid insecurity off quickly. I could feel my regeneration working, slowly healing and mending my tattered flesh. I knew I would be fine. Water would not stop me. Not today.
"Now, can we go?" I tilted my head like a snob that proved her abilities
"Do you know what you just did?" He asked with pleasant eyes, the likes of which I hadn't dreamed this raggedy man would dare show.
"I used my dark gifts, yes."
"Not only that... this is more, little nightwalker. Much, much, more... "
"I'm failing to understand your excitement."
"You managed to grasp a power that does not belong to your bloodline. This is very rare."
"What bloodline? And how are we so sure that the moment I walk out, we won't see nothing but bones for my legs?"
"Well, let us see." Sergio led the way to the cave. I eagerly followed.
Each step, the water gradually fell below my waist and beyond my thighs and soon, we'd see that my flesh was not just fine but it was renewed; younger and even repaired. I knew that was from my regeneration process but still, it was truly amazing to see I'd adapted to the water. Something my predecessor did not teach me. As much as I wanted to rip Sergio's head off, I was way too overjoyed that I hadn't disfigured my beautiful skin. Yes, I was vain. I was feeling and touching myself to make sure I was fine.
"See? Not all Nightwalkers can inherit gifts from other bloodlines. You clearly are of your own."
"Bloodlines?" I diverted my attention to the wolf man, "You keep speaking of these bloodlines. What other bloodlines?"
Sergio smirked, waving his hand down the dark entrance.
"All the answers are in there."
I rushed in but he quickly stopped me by the shoulder, "Nightwalker, ask yourself if you really wish to go in there."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Once you go in there, there's no going back... "
I chewed on his words carefully. If I were to die, that would not scare me. Yet I know now, as I knew then, that there are fates far worse than death...
Interlude V
Samuel Speaks, 2017
Days went by since Alexia told me about her impending death. I'd been reading bits of her journal here and there. Mostly just been spending time with her. You know - enjoying the last days. We've grown a lot closer. Kind of expected. Not because death's a few days away, it's because it's one of those rare things that come once a thousand lifetimes. Sounds poetic, I'm sure; but it's true. I think a lot of people like to thrive on the idea that they know what love is and some of them do, but most don't. Most like to think they love someone; maybe it's for power, status, some dumbass college, master or doctoral certificate or they just look good. Heck, it can even go into personality.
'Oh, she's just the right one for me! She does everything I need!'
I don't think that's what love is. I think love is a fundamental acceptance of knowing you're on your own path, accepting another walking alongside, hand in hand on their own. This is what I get with
Alexia. There are times she's noble, sweet and kind, other times she can be cold and distant, sometimes fiery and bitchy. I find myself wanting every part of it, loving the core, the real thing that makes her tick.
I can care less how old she is or what her skin color is. I don't care if these stories are true or not and I don't care if she's hearing me think out loud right now. Just know one thing. If this is to be our last bit of time together, then know that I'm enjoying it and there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you.
Naked Alexia lays head down on my lap while I kick back, feet stretched, head tilted to the roof, with a puff of cigarette smoke rising in the air - celebrating a good night's lay. We sit there chilling, some grunge-prog music playing in the background. Her head's moving to the tune.
"What's the point?" I say the first thing that slips out of my blank mind. She doesn't respond. She just waits - "What's the point of telling any zombie the truth? This world's the way it is because they make it that way. Even if I write a biography about you, what difference would it make to the deaf ear?"
"What difference does it make to you?" I can tell she's probably smiling with her eyes closed as she says this. I drop my head forward, looking down at her. I was right. She's smirking as she coils on my lap.
"I like knowing how things work. I couldn't care less if it breaks my insecure little bubble."
This makes her open those shimmering eyes. She looks at me and laughs. Few days ago I'd feel a bit insecure. Probably try to brush it off, make a joke, get all anxious or something. Now I'm just sitting here staring at her with a blank, expressionless face. I once held fear for this woman. Now, I don't care.
"Did I say something funny?" My tone's a little more serious.
"You take yourself too seriously." I feel her fingers curling along my forearm, reaching up and pulling down so she can get a smoke too.
I take myself too seriously?
"The truth always stands the test of time... " She blows the smoke up in the air, making a kind of heart shaped love puff - "You need not concern yourself with the immature."
Cognata: A Vampire Romance Page 8