by Lucinda John
“Damn, my baby couldn’t come through for a nigga?” I asked, as I got in the car.
“She still fucked up over everything; give her some time.”
“Yo, I’mma fuck Gina rabbit ass up. She knows good and well that’s not my baby. Causing all this unnecessary drama because she want to be on some jealous type shit.” I spat.
“Where do you get these hoes you fucking with?” Hot Rod chuckled.
“Man, that shit ain’t funny. I may have lost my baby for good.” I sighed.
“You ain’t lose her man. She still moping around Shanie’s crib crying and shit.”
“Damn, bruh, it’s fucked up how Lucy got me evicted and shit, now I gotta cop us a new spot.” I said, really feeling like fucking Lucy’s dumb ass up.
“It’s cool, bruh. I got me a lil spot. You can duck off at my crib for a min. Shanie helped me pack your things, I put your furniture and shit in storage and your clothes and shit is at my crib.” Hot Rod said.
“Good looking out, but on the real take me to Shanie’s crib so I can holla at my girl.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes nigga, I’m sure. Light one up too.” I said, feeling stressed the fuck out.
I knew I wasn’t supposed to be smoking, but a nigga needed to relax. The thought of Mia being done with me scared me. I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself if Mia decided she didn’t want to fuck with me anymore.
When we pulled up in front of Shanie’s crib, my stomach was tied up in knots. Shanie was sitting on the porch doing one of her sisters hair, while the other sat on the stoop and colored. Mia was nowhere in sight, but I was hoping she was here. I was missing her ass something terrible and I wanted to hold her and assure her that although I fucked up, that I really did love her.
“What’s up, Shanie?” I greeted her.
“Hey Ro.” Shanie replied, never looking up from the part she was making in her sisters hair.
“How is she?” I asked.
“She’s pretty messed up, Ro. You screwed up big time.” She replied.
“I know man, damn.” I stressed.
“Go in there and talk to her. We’ll sit out here to give you privacy.”
“Good looking out.”
“Just make this shit right; I hate seeing my girl like this.” She snapped, before resuming the task of doing her little sisters hair.
When I walked in the house, I could here Keyshia Cole, I Should Have Cheated, blasting from a room that I figured belonged to Shanie. I pushed open the door to find Mia lying on her stomach with her head buried in the pillow. Although the music was loud, I could still hear her loud cries. The fact that she was lying here hurting because of me, had me real fucked up in the head. Walking over to the bed, I laid down next to her and wrapped my arms around her.
“Romeo, let me the fuck go!” she yelled, attempting to wiggle out of my arms.
“Baby, chill.” I whispered in her ear.
“How am I suppose to chill when you’re the reason I’m hurting?” She sobbed.
“I didn’t mean to cause you any pain, man.”
“Then what the fuck did you call yourself doing?” She asked.
“At the moment, Lucy was the only way I could get us money without having you out there setting up niggas. I met her before we became a couple and since we been together, I only slept with her once. I swear on everything I love ma.”
“What about that chick that claims she’s pregnant by you?” She asked.
“That bitch was way before me and you got together and there is no possible way her baby is mine.” I snapped.
“Did you have sex with her?” She asked.
“Yeah but-”
“But nothing.” She cut me off. “There’s a chance that could be your child.”
“Trust me, it’s not.”
“How are you so fucking sure?” She asked.
“Because I don’t nut in bitches, even when I’m using a condom I always pull out before I nut.” I replied.
“Yeah, ok.”
“Baby you gotta forgive me. A nigga can’t be out here like this without you.”
“Ro, I’m fucking homeless again because the chick you was fucking with got our place in her name, some shit you failed to mention to me! You was just out here living real fucking foul, not giving a fuck about me and my feelings.”
“It’s not even like that man.”
“Then how is it Ro? Please explain that shit to me because I’m missing something.”
“I’mma get you a new place, just chill.”
“Nah, I’m good. I don’t even feel like fucking with you right now.”
“What the fuck is that suppose to mean?” I asked.
“It means I don’t want to do this shit with you.”
“One fuck up and you ready to walk away from a nigga.” I said, feeling my blood pressure spike.
“No, it’s multiple fuck up’s! Do you know how it feels to have everything hit you at once? In one fucking day, I was confronted by two different bitches that were fucking with you!” he yelled.
“Come on ma, we gotta work this shit out. I ain’t gon’ let you leave a nigga.”
“Ro, please just let me go.”
“You ain’t leaving a nigga, man.” I yelled, holding on to her tight.
“RO, LET ME THE FUCK GO!” She yelled, as if she was possessed.
“No. Baby I can’t do that; please tell me you’ll forgive me.” I begged.
She twisted her body, but I still wouldn’t let her go. I felt her wiggling her legs, but still my love for her and pride wouldn’t allow me to let her go. If Mia left me, life would be senseless. She was my motivation, the reason why I hustled so hard to give her the position on the throne as my queen like she deserved.
“Ahhh fuck!” I yelled out, once I felt her knee come crashing into my balls.
She hopped up and ran full speed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. It took me a minute to recuperate, but when I did, I got up and made my way to the closed bathroom. My heart broke with every tear that fell from her face due to my selfish ways. The only thing I was at fault for was cheating on her with Lucy. I knew it was wrong, but at the time the money was just what we needed to stay ahead.
“Open this door, Mia!” I yelled, beating on the door.
“No, Romeo, just leave. It’s over!” She yelled back.
“I’m not leaving until you open this fucking door!” I shouted, banging on the door louder.
“Ro, it’s over. It’s over.” She cried, causing my chest to get tight.
“I’m sorry ma, you can’t do this shit to me!” I yelled, feeling my face get moist.
I was far from a bitch ass nigga, but the feeling of my rib threatening to leave me was a hard pill to swallow. I was so used to having her around that I wasn’t ready to live without her. In my entire life of fucking and playing hoes, Mia was the first girl to ever capture my heart in a way that would have me going crazy without here.
“Ro, dawg, just give her some time.” Hot Rod said, pushing me away from the door.
“She can’t leave me man.” I said, feeling my life being drained out of my body.
“Let her chill out. Shanie’s moms about to get off work and I ain’t tryna have her call the law on you for beating down her bathroom door.” He said.
“Mia bring yo ass out here, now. I ain’t fucking with you!” I yelled.
“Ro, just listen to Hot Rod and go!” She yelled back out.
“Come on bro, let her chill.”
After realizing that Mia wasn’t going to come out of the bathroom, I walked out of the room a broken man. I didn’t even offer Shanie a goodbye as I walked past her and to Hot Rod’s car. The whole drive back to his house, I spent thinking of the day I met Mia. I remembered thinking she was one bad bitch that I wasn’t going to be able to get. When faith brought us together, I felt like all the shit that had been going so wr
ong in my life was finally going right. Mia was the only thing close to sanity I had, and without her a nigga was about to be out here in the streets being reckless.
Hot Rod had him a nice little spot not too far from Shanie’s house. He showed to me to the room I was going to be staying in and gave me my privacy. As I went through my things, I noticed Mia took the money I had in her shoebox and left the bills that I neatly stacked in my duffle bag. Removing a majority of the bills, I placed them in my Jordan backpack and placed it to the side for Mia. I hated that she didn’t have a home of her own, and even if she wanted nothing to do with me, I was going to make sure she had a roof over her head.
“You tryna smoke one?” Hot Rod asked, standing in the doorway.
“Spark that shit, bruh.” I replied, inviting him in.
“While you was down, we hit another lick on Murder’s ass.” Hot Rod said.
“I swear that nigga stupid as fuck. How much you hit him for?”
“Not that much. We was able to get fifteen grand a piece. I put your money up for you.”
“Good looking out, bro.” I said, taking a long toke of the blunt.
“I think that nigga got the majority of his money stashed at one of his laundry mats. I’m not sure which one though.” He went on to say.
“Why you say that?”
“I remember before I got roped that he would use his laundromats as a front to clean up money. If he’s cleaning up money there, why not stash it there? That’s the last place anyone would look since it’s a legit business.”
“You right. We gon’ look into that shit.”
“Handle yo business with your girl first, then once that’s straight and shit is back on board, we can carry on with the plan. We can’t be busting moves with you thinking irrationally; that’s bad business.” He replied, passing me the joint.
“I hear you.” I replied, taking the blunt between my lips.
“Check me out, take that fifteen you saved for me, along with this right here, and have your girl help Mia find a place. I can’t have her shacking up in ya girl’s place like that.”
“I feel ya. Shit gon’ be straight dawg. Don’t even stress it. Just give her a lil minute to cool down. Y’all got that black love fam. Love like that just don’t die. Ya feel me?”
“I feel ya, dawg.” I replied, praying that everything he was saying was true.
Mia
I was excited when it finally came time to move into my place. I loved Shanie like a sister, but her house was getting a little too crowded for me. Plus, I knew I was blocking her and Hot Rod from being together, so I decided to find me a place ASAP. The money Romeo gave to Shanie for me was neatly stacked in a safe that I placed in my closet behind all my clothes. That was money I was going to save up and put in my disaster fund.
“I fall in love with your place every time I see it.” Shanie gushed over the one-bedroom one-and-a-half-bathroom villa that sat on the beach.
The rent on this bad boy was expensive as hell, but I loved living near the ocean; it was so calming and relaxing. Another plus about my apartment was that it was ducked off and not in the city. I was still hurting and I wanted to be able to heal in peace, without a bunch of people in my face asking me if I was ok.
“You didn’t tell Hot Rod where I moved did you?” I asked. I wasn’t ready to face Romeo yet and I didn’t want to risk him popping up on me.
“Girl, no! You know me better than that.” She sucked her teeth.
“Ok, just making sure.”
Shanie stayed with me and helped me put everything in place. I didn’t want to get rid of the furniture from our old apartment since it was brand new, so I had a moving company pick it up from the storage place and deliver it here. Instead of keeping the bed I slept in with Romeo, I decided to use the bedroom set Romeo purchased for the room I never got the chance to sleep in.
“You tryna smoke?” Shanie asked me, pulling out a blunt.
“Nah, I pass.”
“You ain’t been smoking lately. You pregnant?” She asked.
“Nah, I just been wanting to keep a clear mind. I’m thinking about quitting all together.” I replied.
“Bitch, you sleep? I’m in love with Mary Jane, I can’t let this hoe go.” She giggled, while firing up the blunt.
“Pot head.”
“And you know this mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnne.” She impersonated Smokey.
Once we were done making sure my house was in order, Shanie decided to leave and spend the night with Hot Rod. I was kind of salty that she didn’t want to spend the first night with me in my new place, but I didn’t want to be selfish, so I let her go. Loneliness began to fill me as I walked through my empty house alone. I spotted a single box that sat in the middle of my living room floor, so I went to sort it out.
Tear filled my eyes as I was hit with numerous of pictures of Romeo and I. It broke my heart not being able to be with Romeo, but I had to show him how it felt to be without me, so that he wouldn’t want to do anything that could risk losing me in the long run. I was sure that I still loved Romeo and apart of me was dying to call him and tell him to come home, but I kept reminding myself that this was a lesson he had to learn.
Grabbing the box, I walked to my walk-in closet and placed it on the shelf. I didn’t need a constant reminder of Romeo while I was trying to heal and recover from the major blow my heart had to take. With nothing else to do, I neatly made my bed before climbing in it and throwing the blankets over my head. Before I could sleep my pain away, I was interrupted by the blaring sounds of my cell phone.
“Uhhhhhhh” I groaned, seeing Murder’s name flash across my screen. I was in no mood to be bothered by anyone, so I just turned my phone off in order to get some peace and quiet.
* * *
I was having a hard time focusing in class, so when it was over, I was the first person to jump up and storm out of the area. Since today was one of the days that I went to school alone, I walked to my car without hanging out in the student café waiting on Shanie, like I usually did.
“Damn, ma, you one hard person to reach.” Murder said, leaning against my car looking sexier than ever.
“Oh, shit, you scared me.” I jumped, placing my hand on my heart.
“Why you dodging me ma? You know how much I hate that shit.” He said, looking at me with his eyes turning a dark color.
“Ummm, well you know with work and school I’ve been swamped.” I stuttered.
“A nigga been stressing and shit and I can’t even depend on my girl to be there for me. I thought we was good.” He said.
“We are, I just been busy.”
“Get in the car and let’s go.” He orderd.
“But wait, what about my car?” I asked.
“I’ll have TK come pick it up.” He replied.
“No, I ain’t about to leave my car, plus I gotta go home and get ready for work.” I lied.
“Man, Mia, I ain’t playing with you. I see I gotta train yo young ass cuz you ain’t old enough to realize that a real nigga like me don’t play no games.” He said, clenching his jaw.
“I’m about to go, I’ll call you later.” I said, attempting to get in my car. He had me all the way fucked up if he thought he was about to boss me around as if I was Trixie or any other hoe for that matter.
“Man get the fuck in the car.” He said, grabbing me by the arm and pushing me towards the car. The look in his eyes told me why they called him Murder. Instead of fighting a losing battle, I decided to get in the car with him.
When we made it to his house, there was a sexy ass, pink Bentley parked in his circular driveway. I was in no mood to be fighting or confronting no female, so when the car came to a stop, I didn’t get out. I was going to sit back and let him handle Trixie before I got out the car.
“Why the fuck you still in the car?” He asked.
“I’mma let you handle your business first.” I said, pointing towards the car.
“Man, bring yo ass on.” He snapped, walking over to me and pulling me out of the car.
“Murder, I ain’t cut for no bullshit today.”
“Shut the fuck up and come on.” He said, smacking me on the ass.
When we stopped in front of the car, he put me down and reached in his pocket for something. He produced a pair of keys that had my name written in diamonds dangling from it. There was a pregnant pause as I tried to put together what was going on.
“This all you baby!” Murder said, when I couldn’t find the right words to say.
“Shut up!” I screamed.
“Nah, boo this all you.” He confirmed, causing me to jump up and down for joy.
I remember in one of our conversations, I told him that my dream car was a Bentley. The fact that he went an extra mile to have my Bentley customized said a lot. I’ve been down for a minute and this car really brought my spirits back up. It wasn’t that I was a materialistic girl, it just felt good to feel appreciated by someone.
“Thank you!” I squealed.
“You’re welcome, baby, all you gotta do is let your man take care of you. I can give you the world if you play your cards right.” He said, kissing me on the neck.
“Mmmm.” I moaned, feeling his wet tongue across my skin.
“Show daddy how much you appreciate this car.” He said, before pushing me up against my new Bentley and feeding me his tongue.
I got lost in Murder’s world as he took away my pain with his sweet kisses. I didn’t know if it was because I was so vulnerable, but I was starting to develop strong feelings for Murder, feelings that I tried to fight, but I couldn’t. I still loved Romeo, but I was now deeply in like with Murder. As bad as I tried to ignore this man in hopes of everything I was feeling for him to disappear, the moment our body connected, those feelings would come rushing back.
“Ahhhhhh Murder.” I cried out, as he buried his dick deep in me.