I had to do something about it.
Swallowing back my nerves, I approached Libby’s locker just as Carter was walking away. I figured Libby would be the easier one to talk to. If I tried to call Carter on anything, he’d probably tell me to go screw myself. He was on the basketball team with Chase and Sean. A bunch of good-looking guys who thought they ruled the school. Most girls swooned...just like I had. Spotting Chase’s true feelings had helped stunt my deluded admiration.
“Hey Libby.” I kept my voice light and casual, not wanting to scare her.
“Oh, hey Caitlyn.”
Her smile was nearly blinding.
“Did I just see Carter Hanson ask you out?” It was really unlike me to get straight to the point. I had dancing around the bush down to an art form, but the bell was about to ring and I knew if I went for small talk I’d lose my nerve altogether.
“Yeah,” Libby breathed. “He’s taking me to Liam’s party on Friday. Everyone’s going there after the game.”
It was pretty standard. Friday night basketball was often followed up with some sort of event - normally to celebrate the win, sometimes to blow off steam. I knew Stella would drag me along this Friday. She never missed Liam’s parties. He was a bit of a legend at this school. He and his girlfriend Indie were the couple that everyone wanted to be like.
“That’s cool.” I nodded. “But um...” How did I say this?
I glanced at Libby’s expression, she was nervous about what I was going to say, in spite of her smile.
“I don’t want to sound rude or anything, I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable going with Carter.”
“What do you mean?” Her nerves were picking up big time. I had to get this out quickly.
“Well, he’s not really...I mean you guys don’t really hang out much. Don’t you think it’s weird that he’s suddenly asking you out?”
“What are you saying?” Nerves were being replaced with anger. It was a jittery anger fueled by her underlying insecurity and I really didn’t like it, but how could I not say something?
“Libby, I don’t know if you were aware of this, but when he was talking to you, he looked kind of...untrustworthy. I can’t help wondering if he’s up to something. I’m worried you might get hurt.”
“Worried? You’re worried about me? Really?”
Shame crept over me. She was right. I’d never given a rat’s ass before. I’d always just stayed quiet as my friends made her feel like pond scum. She’d have to be blind not to see through their plastic smiles. You didn’t need any kind of super power to pick up the get lost vibes that radiated off them whenever Libby was around.
“You know what, Caitlyn, I think you’re jealous.”
“Of what?”
“Carter liking me. I know you and Chase broke up and now you’re probably on the prowl for someone new.”
On the prowl? Was she kidding me right now? That was so not my style.
“Libby, I’m not trying to take Carter off you. I don’t even like Carter...like that. I’m just not sure if he’s being honest with you.”
I was sure. I was 100 percent freaking sure, but I couldn’t say that to her.
Libby’s face bunched up tight, her obvious and hidden emotions blending together. I tried to put back the layers, not wanting to see how much I hurt her. I finally managed to settle on an indignant anger, which wasn’t exactly fun to look at either.
“You know what, Caitlyn. You can have any guy you want. You hang with Stella and Indie and all the cool girls, so it’s not hard for you. Why would you want to take this from me?”
“I’m not trying to—”
“Guys like Carter never acknowledge my existence so when one finally does, I’m not going to reject it. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“Stay out of my business.” Libby shouldered past me before I could say anything else. I didn’t bother chasing her. I’d probably end up doing more harm than good.
Damn it!
Blocking people out was so much easier. I didn’t want to get involved with this drama!
With my mood fully blackened, I headed to my locker. The hallways were now crowded again and I worked overtime making sure to put layers back on every single person’s face. I didn’t want to see another damn thing!
Chapter 11
By the end of the week I was blocking out everything. I was surprised by how quickly I’d managed to get a handle on my power. It felt good. I was in control again and I was determined to keep it that way.
The basketball game went well with an easy victory against Santa Monica High. Micah, the star player, who also happened to be my biology lab partner, had been on fire as usual, pretty much winning Pali High the game. Stella and I followed the revellers to Indie’s house in my car. She was planning on getting plastered tonight and asked me to be the designated driver. I was more than happy to do it. I still hadn’t really acquired a taste for alcohol and only drank it when I absolutely had to. Tonight I had the best excuse in the world.
We bustled into the party, knocking shoulders with the crowd. Indie Swanson was the daughter of Dominic Swanson, big time movie producer. They lived in a palatial mansion and now that her older brother, Maverick, was at a college in Texas, Indie basically had the house to herself. Her father was away shooting yet another film and the live-in house-keeper was so passive, she basically let Indie do whatever she liked. I had heard that Liam, Indie’s boyfriend, slept over most nights. They were like living together. Some girls thought it was so romantic. I still hadn’t decided what I thought.
The humongous house was crowded. Liam had obviously invited everyone he knew. I hated being around this many people at one time and made a beeline for the quietest area I could find. It was the movie room, just off the main living area. It was dark and filled with couples mauling each other on various couches and beanbags. Stella was not impressed with my choice and pulled me back into the main area. The doors leading out to the pool were all open making the partying space a massive expanse, chocked full of people. Knowing I’d lost the battle, I pressed myself against a free space of wall and studied the crowd. Stella was flirting overtime with the guy beside us. I didn’t recognise him. He looked older than us, just Stella’s style.
Not being able to help myself, I practiced putting people’s masks on and off. I didn’t study what lay beneath their expressions, I just let the layers start to slip then quickly put them back in place. I loved that I was getting better and could do it in a second now. I spent the next half hour happily controlling myself, feeling all proud for doing it, but then I spotted something I couldn’t ignore.
It wasn’t Libby, who I had secretly been keeping an eye out for. I hadn’t seen her since we arrived and part of me hoped she’d chickened out and gone home after the game.
No, what I saw was something totally unexpected. It kind of threw me and I ended up having to look again. It was Indie, the quiet aurburn-haired beauty that everyone wanted to be like. She was an enigma almost. Her soft smile and kind blue eyes made people like her, but she was so cool that no one had the courage to really go near her. She was like a celebrity at her own school. I had to admit that I was proud to call her my friend. I mean I didn’t know her that well, but we hung out together all the time.
But I’d never seen this about her before.
Fear. It was stark white all over her face.
I blinked, quickly replacing the mask. Her calm veneer was back in place. She was smiling at Liam as he said some joke to the people in front of him. His arm was around her waist, keeping her close. They looked so in love.
I frowned and tentatively let the smile slip from her face. There it was again. She was scared. Not like timid scared, but like hell scared. Her eyes were wide with fear, her lips quivering. The hand perched on Liam’s shoulder was practically shaking.
I put her mask back on to compare what I was seeing. Her fingers were fidgeting with Liam’s collar as h
e spoke. He gazed down at her tenderly and whispered something in her ear. She giggled and gave him a coy smile.
I whipped her mask away and saw her neck muscles strain tight. The smile was hiding a grimace and when she looked up at her boyfriend I saw a mixture of terror and loathing.
My lips parted as I reverted my gaze to Liam. Stripping away his affectionate smile I snatched a glimpse of something that gave me goosebumps, a dark possession that had my stomach clenching. The arm around her waist wasn’t loving at all, it was holding her in place, keeping her in line. Another layer began to slip from his features and I flinched, quickly putting it back in place.
I didn’t want to see this. No. Indie and Liam were the perfect couple. Everyone at school aspired to be like them. They were cool, but really nice. They were accepted by every social set in the school. No one despised them. They were like the golden couple.
My breathing was punchy as I looked away. What had I just seen? What was I supposed to do with that?
Poor Indie. I hadn’t seen fear that stark before, not ever. She was petrified and I didn’t want to know why.
“I’m getting a drink.” I nudged Stella and took off before she could follow me. I made it to the kitchen, keeping my eyes down. I didn’t want to look at anyone right now. I didn’t want to practice with masks or layers. I just wanted to be normal again!
The kitchen was devoid of ordinary drinks. I opened one of the fridges, looking for anything non-alcoholic and finally spotted a small can of Sprite in the back. I felt a bit bad for taking it. It obviously wasn’t designated for the party, but I needed something to quell my pulsing nerves.
Popping it open, I was about to take a sip when someone practically bowled me over.
Sprite splashed up my nose, dribbled down my chin and soaked into my shirt collar.
“Sorry,” the person mumbled tearfully as she bustled past.
I glanced up to see Libby frantically pushing her way through the crowd and my drink was forgotten. I forged after her, squeezing past people and trying to keep track of her.
She made it to the main entrance and started running for the door.
“Libby! Libby wait!”
Her short legs slipped on the shiny marble. She obviously wasn’t used to heels. Her ankle twisted and she hit the floor with a thud.
A couple of people around her snickered, some of them pointed. No one bothered to help her up. I wasn’t bold enough to glare them down like I wanted to. It took all my courage to openly approach her and offer my hand.
Libby looked up at me, tears spilling from her eyes, making her mascara run.
“Come on.”
She reluctantly took my hand and I hauled her up. After a few hobbling steps from Libby, I wrapped my arm around her and supported her out of the house, towards a dark patch of grass off the main driveway.
“Are you okay?” I rubbed her back as she hiccuped and cried. It was hard to see her in the dim light and I was glad. I didn’t want to read her right now. I just wanted to talk and find out the truth the conventional way.
Libby popped open her purse and pulled out a Kleenex. Her shoulders shook as she dabbed at her eyes. I just kept rubbing her back, not exactly sure how to make her feel better.
“I didn’t think you were here,” I eventually said. “I was looking for you and thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”
She rubbed her eye and shook her head with a sniff. “I wish I had.”
“What happened?”
“You were right about Carter.” She sniffed again.
“Did he—" I frowned. “Libby what did he do?” My insides were curdling. I didn’t want to hear what she was about to say as my mind raced to the worst scenario I could think of.
Libby was quiet for too long, making it worse. My imagination was working overtime.
“He took me upstairs. We’d only been here like ten minutes.” Her voice wobbled.
“Lib—"
“Don’t worry, he didn’t try to...” She flicked her hand. “He didn’t force me to do anything.”
The way she said it made me squeeze her shoulder. “What did you do?”
“Nothing.” I could just make out her eyes shining in the dim light. Tears were busting to get free once more. “He wanted me to give him a blow job and I was really uncomfortable. I’ve never even kissed a guy before and Carter just expects me to blow him?” Her voice pitched high and she took in a shaky breath. “He started undoing his pants and I said I didn’t want to. He got all annoyed and told me I owed him because he’d brought me here. If I wanted to be cool then I had to earn it and that if I didn’t do what he said, he’d make my school life hell." Her face bunched with stress lines. "I thought about it, Caitlyn. I even got down on me knees, but I just couldn’t go through with it. I freaked out and ran...and now the rest of this year is going to be so much worse than what it already is.”
She leaned her head against my shoulder and broke down with unrestrained sobs. I could feel my shirt getting wet and no doubt stained with mascara. It would simply add to the Sprite. I wrapped my arms around her.
Black rage was an understatement for what I was feeling right now. I wanted to find Carter Hanson and squeeze his balls until they popped. I knew about his asshole tendencies, but why go after Libby? There were plenty of other girls far more experienced and willing. It was almost like he was trying to scare her. I didn’t understand it.
Libby’s sobs slowly ebbed. I had no idea how long it took. I felt like I’d been standing there forever. Her fingers dug into my back as she clung to me. I knew she wasn’t ready to step away and I didn’t have the heart to push her. So I stayed where I was, giving her the silent comfort she so obviously needed while trying to hide her from prying eyes as party-goers wandered up the driveway and into the house. It became increasingly challenging as whispers spread, and when two giggling girls actually came down the driveway to investigate, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I squeezed Libby’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Go for a walk on the beach or something.”
“Are you sure?” Libby’s eyes rounded with surprise. “What about Stella?”
“She’ll understand.” Not really, but I wasn’t about to tell Libby that. Pulling out my phone, I texted Stella and told her to call me when she was ready for a ride.
I knew there’d be backlash, but Libby needed me right now and I wanted to be there for her.
Chapter 12
The night air was cool and refreshing. Libby and I had walked for only a few minutes before finding a nice little spot on a sandy dune. We sunk into it, not caring that our butts would get covered. I whipped off my shoes and dug my toes in, loving the feel of the cool grains against my skin.
There was no doubt about it. Nature was good for the soul.
The pale moonlight was glistening against the gently surging water and I felt safe in this dark, magical haven.
I hoped Libby felt the same way. I peeked a glance at her. She hadn’t said much as we drove down the hill and parked at a nearby beach. It was pretty much deserted, perfect for what Libby needed. A private place to cry.
She wasn’t sobbing anymore, but I noticed her lips pucker every now and then, and a few more tears would descend.
I rubbed her back, not knowing what else to do or say.
Swiping at her tears, she finally drew in a shaky breath and muttered, “It was so insane to think that Carter would even be into me anyway.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it? You told me so.”
I bit my lip, suddenly wishing I hadn’t.
“It’s so unfair.” Libby scowled. “I have two gorgeous sisters who sailed through high school, a mother who could pass for a model and I take after my fat father.” She winced and grabbed my arm. “I love him. Really I do. But why? Why did I have to inherit his genes?”
I licked my bottom lip, wanting to sound sincere. I didn’t have to try hard, I meant what I was about t
o say. “You’re gorgeous, Libby. You have great genes.”
“That’s easy for a skinny person to say.” She shot me a sardonic frown.
“Hey, at least you have boobs. My brother spent most of my teenage years comparing me to a surfboard.”
Libby tittered. “You’re not that flat.”
“Yeah, I think I graduated to a B cup last year...maybe.” I rolled my eyes. “Come on, look at you, you’ve got a great set.” I pointed at her breasts, which made her giggle.
She thrust them forward and jiggled them for a second. We both laughed, bumping our shoulders together like comrades. But the laughter soon died away as the crappy events of the evening returned to mind.
“I wish I could just disappear sometimes,” Libby whispered then scoffed. “Like a girl this size could vanish, right?”
“Hey,” I softly reprimanded, squeezing her arm.
“Maybe I should just go back and do what he wants. Five minutes of torture could save me from three months of agony.”
“Don’t say that.” My tone was much firmer than I meant it to be, but I was annoyed that she’d even consider it. “You’d hate yourself.”
“What if it’s the only chance I’ll ever get?”
“What are you talking about?”
“For physical contact. I mean what guy is ever going to be into me?”
“Libby, stop it. There’s a guy out there for you and he’ll be kind and sweet and not some jerk who demands blow jobs. You don’t want to be with someone like Carter. No matter how caring they might seem at the time, you’ll come away feeling shallow and tainted.”
She nodded, knowing I was referring to Chase.
Libby sighed. “When Carter first started taking me upstairs tonight, I thought about what you said at school. You know about him being untrustworthy?” Her nose wrinkled. “I was so annoyed at you and I didn’t want your voice in my head.” Her eyes landed on me, sparkling with a gratitude I wasn’t expecting. “But if you hadn’t warned me, maybe I wouldn’t have seen through his gentle persuasion. He was being so nice to me and even when he started unzipping his fly he was making it sound like were going to do this intimate thing that was special.” She shook her head with a cynical snicker. “He made it seem like we were already a couple. I would have fallen for it, but I couldn’t get past what you said.”
True Colors (book #1, The Masks Series) Page 8