by Karen Anders
His life had been defined by being alone, but he’d rarely felt lonely, until now. It had been a helluvah ride, being part of the CIA. One that took him places he’d never expected to go. There had been times when his aloneness got so big, he felt cloaked by it. And he had figured he would go to the grave with that awful hole in his chest. Then boom. Emma. Boom. Love. Again. A love that held a lot of promise. He had no idea what was going to happen between them, but she was the one he wanted.
The need he had to do what was right, like when he’d sacrificed Afsana and his boy, felt the same damn way this whole mess with Matty felt. Like he was going to have to lose the woman he loved to that part of him that needed justice, needed follow-through, needed someone to get his hands dirty.
He would move heaven and earth for her.
He knew they could never just be friends. And there was no damned way he wanted them to be just lovers.
Looking away, he swallowed hard, his eyes suddenly burning. It was a hell of a thought; he had never found anyone who came close to replacing Afsana in his heart. Now Emma was there as if she had always been.
All he knew for sure was that having her, being with her, had been real for him. As real as it got. He’d never wanted to get blindsided by another woman, and lo and behold. Bam.
Exhaling heavily, Derrick dragged his hand down his face, then tipped his head back, trying to release the tension across his shoulders. Hell, he was going to drive himself crazy if he didn’t stop thinking about it. Especially when there weren’t any answers. He turned from the window, rolling his shoulders. What he needed was a long run. Instead, he headed for the shower.
When he came out, the bed was empty. He dressed in a clean pair of jeans and went out to the kitchen. She was standing at the now-open door, sipping coffee, dressed in his navy blue NCIS T-shirt. It came to about midthigh on her. He’d never seen anything look so good in that shirt.
“You had better have saved me some,” he murmured, coming up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
She leaned into him. “Slowpokes don’t usually get the rewards,” she said with a laugh.
“Emma...” He tickled her and she almost sloshed her coffee.
“I left you some.”
He walked over and poured himself a cup, then sipped the strong brew.
“Why didn’t I buy a house on the ocean?” Her voice was filled with regret and envy.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Why didn’t you?”
He went onto the deck and tugged her after him. Folding down onto a lounge chair, he urged her onto his lap.
She snuggled up to him and shrugged. “I think I might have retired instead, getting much too engrossed in living at the beach. I had a business to run, so I thought it was best to leave the vacation living to people who could handle it. I love the ocean and it’s heavenly to fall asleep with you here. It’s kept me sane.”
Her hair flew around in the wind like thin copper strips. Her delicate features were contemplative.
“I own an island,” he said, all kinds of smugness in his tone.
Her head whipped around and she scowled. She smacked him on the bare shoulder. “Now you’re just being cruel.”
“No,” he laughed when she made a face at him. “I...inherited it from that old tycoon who thought I was nothing but clay for him to mold. I sold everything else, but that place is paradise. It spoke to me. It’s off the coast of the Bahamas, Tucked Away Cay.”
She turned totally around, straddling him and set her cup on the small table next to his. She shook him. “Are you kidding me?”
He leaned his head back just so he could stare at her.
“Derrick...when you look at me like that, I can’t think.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She smacked him again.
He gave her an innocent look. “I’m not kidding. I’m thinking you’d look good there on the sandy beach, not a stitch on.”
She shot him a startled look.
Unable to resist the draw of that daydream, he reached out and ran his finger down the swell of her breast. “Yeah, you sunbathing in the nude, playing in the surf, plenty of bounce...to your step.”
“Ah, you’re not talking about my step and I know it.”
“You ever make soft, slow love in the surf, Emma?” he asked, his voice low and provocative.
She stared at him, transfixed, looking totally winded. As if she’d finally gotten the rush he’d been living with all morning. She closed her eyes as her chest rose, as if she couldn’t catch her breath. He really expected her to tell him to stuff his soft, slow sex where the sun don’t shine, but this was better. Infinitely better.
Finally getting some air into her lungs, she turned and looked at him, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “You think you’re so smart,” she breathed, well aware of the hard-on she was currently cradling between her bare thighs.
Then she grabbed his hair and planted a kiss on him that had him groaning and itching to get her just as naked as she would be on that beach so far away.
Laughing against her mouth, his whole body going on even more full alert, he slid his arms around her hips. “You drive me completely crazy,” he murmured, tasting her mouth.
She gave his hair another yank and deepened the kiss. Derrick got really serious, really quickly, and he dragged her down against him. She made a low sound and slid her arms around his neck, and suddenly Derrick couldn’t breathe, either. Grabbing the back of her head, he fought for air, his heart hammering. He changed the angle of her face, then sealed his mouth hungrily against hers. He would never get them to the bedroom in time. Never.
She moved against him, and he nearly groaned, a pulsing heat coursing through him. In desperation, he reached down, working her panties off and loosening his jeans. She tightened her knees against his hips and moved to take him deep. And he nearly lost his mind.
She clung to him when it was over, and he couldn’t hold her close enough, clutching her to him, her fingers still in his hair, her face buried in the crook of his neck.
Their breaths came in heavy pants, and she slowly raised her head. At the first hint of movement, his arms tightened around hers, his fingertips digging more deeply into her hair. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered. He closed his eyes when she pressed a damp, heated kiss against his jaw, then dragged her lips to his, her mouth so sweet and gentle.
She raised her head, her face pensive, the magnitude of what had passed between them clearly not lost on her. “What’s going to happen after we find Matty?”
“Everything will go back to normal. I’m going to make sure you’re safe.”
“No, Derrick, this, between us. Do you want to continue this?”
He wrapped his hand around her throat, caressing her beating pulse with his thumb. “Yes, I do.”
She went to open her mouth, but he covered her lips. “No, don’t say it yet. Tell me after all this is over about what you want to do with...this.”
He kissed her palm just as his phone beeped. He pulled it out of his back pocket.
It was a text from Robin:
Flores is back. Showtime.
Yeah, he would wait to see how everything played out and if Emma would be interested in him after all this was over.
Chapter 17
Former Ortega Hacienda
Caliche, Mexico
“Don’t tell me he’s dead.”
They had come to the abandoned house where Ortega’s son, Arturo, and Mrs. Montoya had been killed. There was still a blood stain on the kitchen floor where she’d died. Flores probably had been the one to knife her and brutally kill Arturo; the bastard had liked the personal touch. The world was a little safer now that he was gone. Except they both knew
there would be another one to take his place. It was the way of the world.
“Yeah, he wasn’t going to give us anything anyway. Dude was a straight-up, stone-cold killer and he enjoyed every minute of it,” Robin said, facing Derrick, his face bleak. No one, not even hardened operatives, got used to this.
“So that’s exactly what he is. Dead. Good riddance, I say.”
“I didn’t expect you to do this on your own. This was my situation and I would have dealt with it.”
“Look, Derrick. You’re NCIS now, and I jumped the gun to leave you out of this.” He held up his hand. “I know you would have done what was necessary. But I got some cartel guys to get information out of Flores. They were very cooperative and had some questions of their own anyway. This way, no harm, no foul. We’re both out of it.”
“My hands aren’t clean, Robin.”
Robin huffed a breath, setting his hands on his hips, giving Derrick a shuttered look. “None of us are. But you’re clean of this and that satisfies me. I left it up to them. Believe me, they were thorough.”
“I would have done what needed to be done, but thanks for what you did.”
Robin nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He let slip that Ortega was rebuilding and forging a new business with Diego Lopez.”
This wasn’t exactly what he had planned, but he was glad Flores was dead. He was just as big a threat to Emma, Lily and Matty as Ortega. He was the kind of man who would exact revenge. So he was dead and he hadn’t given up Ortega’s hidey hole. Or had he?
“We didn’t get enough, at least not where Ortega is hiding.”
Derrick leaned against the counter. “Oh, but he did give us a clue. He told us Ortega is in bed with Lopez’s cartel. I’m sure part of his deal with Diego Lopez is new and improved routes for their drugs to enter the US. We also know he went to Colombia. That gives me a starting point.”
Robin made a face and ran his hand through his loose blond hair. “You’re going to send me home with the babe, aren’t you?” he whined.
“Don’t call her that and yes, I need you to do this for me. I need her home safely. Watch over her.”
Robin shifted and snorted. “I’m no judge of women—well except for when it comes to getting what I want—but she’s not going to go into that good night quietly, my friend. She looks like a ball-buster. Kicking and screaming comes to mind and I, for one, don’t want my balls within kicking distance.”
He was completely right. That was exactly what Emma would do—kick and scream. She might not want to see Derrick after this. He’d promised her and he was going to break that promise for the second time. If she hadn’t broken him down with those blue eyes and that determined attitude, she would be back in San Diego right now. Instead, she was out front watching their backs. “You find a way, Robin.”
“Man, this blows, but I owe you big time.” Derrick turned to go. Robin grabbed his arm. “But I’m not doing it because you saved my life.”
“Why are you doing it?”
Robin met his eyes head-on. The guy maybe didn’t look a day over nineteen, but he had the eyes of a wiser man, an old soul. “Because we’re the lost boys, there’s an innocent kid at stake and—I’m not going soft here—you love her. The first time you fell in love, you got the raw end of that deal made at the highest level. So because I can say ‘screw you’ to Uncle Sam, I’m going with this plan. For now.”
“Thank you, Robin. I’ll owe you.” Derrick’s voice came out gruff.
Those amber eyes warmed. “Nah, it’s gratis. Just don’t get dead. That’ll really piss me off.”
Derrick laughed. “You watch your back and at the end of all this, there’ll be an anonymous star on the wall for you.”
“Yeah, you bedazzle the hell out of it for me, huh?”
Derrick chuckled. “Copy that.”
This time the warm amber lights of Robin’s eyes turned steely. “Oh, and you kill that son of a bitch, too. They’ll never be safe if you don’t.”
Derrick’s jaw and voice hardened. “You can count on that.” Derrick turned away. “I’m going to slip out and make my own way.” He was going back into the shadows, but he was used to it, like an old friend. “Take her out of here and get to the airport.”
“Have you told her?”
“Told her what?”
“That you love her.”
“There’s a commercial flight out in two hours. Make sure you’re on it. I’m depending on you to keep her safe.”
“Hey, I’m named after a famous hero and the sidekick of one of the baddest, badass superheroes of all time. I won’t let you down. You know you’re not alone.”
Derrick didn’t answer as he slipped out the back and disappeared into the forest. He picked up the rusty pickup he’d stashed in the trees along with passports with old covers from his past. He ran the risk of flagging himself with the company, but he didn’t expect to be using these aliases for very long. A plan was forming, a plan that would end Ortega and his organization for good, and if he was lucky destroy a good part of Diego Lopez’s business in the process. Ortega was never going to threaten the St. Johns again. He got inside just as his cell phone rang. When he looked at the display, he swore under his breath. His gut was tied up in knots and his chest was on fire.
Emma.
And even the ring of the cell sounded pissed.
As soon as he engaged the call, she shouted, “How dare you do this to me!” Her voice was shaking with fury. “You promised me.”
“Your involvement ends here, Emma.” He hardened his heart; he’d done it so many times in the past it was like second nature. “I need to finish this alone. He’ll never see me coming this way. You stand out like a sore thumb with your gorgeous copper hair and that body. He’ll remember you.”
“Derrick, don’t you dare be charming right now. I want you to come back here and we’ll figure this out.”
“No, Emma,” he said, his voice clipped, then it softened when he heard her sniff. “I’m finishing it now. I don’t know how long it will take me, but if I don’t come back...” He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he wanted to be in her life permanently, that he wanted her with every bone in his body, every cell in his head, and every emotion in his heart. Instead, he whispered, “Take care.”
“Derrick.” Her voice broke on a sob. “Don’t do this.”
“Goodbye, Emma.”
“Derrick!” she shouted. “If you do this, I’ll never forgive—”
He closed his eyes and disconnected the call. He broke down the cell, removing the sim card and snapping it in two, then chucking it out the window. The pieces he threw out as he drove away, his eyes burning and his heart torn to shreds. She would never forgive him. That was his answer. He’d broken her trust, betrayed her, thrown her care and commitment in her face. He wouldn’t know the word team if it bit him on the ass.
* * *
“—you if you die.” Emma closed her eyes, squeezing them tight against the tears. She was in love with him and he had the nerve to try to protect her. She could take care of herself and he knew it. This was his white knight complex getting all mixed up in this. Emma stood there, Robin in her peripheral vision, looking as calm and collected as if they were on a stroll in the park. Maybe that came with the spook territory. She tried Derrick back, but the phone just gave her a recorded error message.
She turned to Robin and grabbed his shirtfront. She pressed him back against the hacienda and shouted, “Where did he go? Tell me.”
He held up his hands, his amber eyes sympathetic. “I don’t know. But it wouldn’t matter if I did. I wouldn’t tell you. Derrick is going to need everything he has focused on this mission. If he’s worrying about you, he’s not at one hundred percent. And believe me, he’s playin
g with some serious big boys. Let me do what he asked me to do for you, Emma. Keep you safe. I know him. I know him well. He’s not going to give up on this, so let him go.”
She couldn’t let him go, but at this point she couldn’t do anything to help him. But back home, there were possibilities.
When they touched down in San Diego, Emma hailed a cab. Just as she was about to tell him her destination, her cell chimed. She looked down to see it was the hospital calling. She answered while the cabbie waited and Robin settled inside and closed the door.
“Emma St. John.”
“Ms. St. John, this is Lieutenant Keenan over at Coronado. I wanted to let you know that your sister woke up. She’s asking for you.”
“That is great news. I’m on my way.”
She gave the cabbie the address and let Robin know. He grinned broadly as the cab pulled away from the curb. First Lily, then Emma was going to help Derrick, whether he wanted her to or not.
When she arrived at the hospital, she rushed up to Lily’s room, Robin following her closely. When she turned down the hall, she couldn’t stop herself from running. The cops at the door recognized her, smiles on their faces, but her eyes were only for her sister, sitting up in bed, looking lucid and beautiful.
With a cry of joy, she went into the room, threw her arms around her and hugged her hard. “It’s so good to see you awake. I’m crushing you.”
Lily’s voice was full of tears. “No, you’re fine. You must have been out of your mind with worry.”
They parted and Lily’s cornflower-blue eyes were swimming with tears. She glanced at Robin, then did a double take.
He came forward, reached out his hand. Lily put her good one in his and it engulfed her sister’s tiny one. “Robin,” he said. “Nice to meet you, Tinkerbell.”
“Same.” Her quizzical expression turned to her sister.
“It’s a long story, but just know he’s one of the good guys and here to help.”
When she pulled her focus back to Emma, Lily’s face was flushed. “Tell me everything. Where’s our Matty?”