by Karen Anders
Austin chuckled, his eyes glinting. “So you were CIA. I always knew it.”
“Yeah, I was. I’ll tell you all about it when we get home.” He’d given Austin a hard time so that he wouldn’t get too close, but now Derrick realized that he was close to this man. They were friends, partners and teammates. “You can come over and we’ll have a beer and a cookout.”
“Are you sure that’s not a martini, shaken not stirred?”
“You got me,” Derrick said, smirking.
“Will you show me those rockets in your tailpipes?”
Derrick laughed. “You bet. I’ll even let you blow up some bad guys.”
“Neato torpedo!” Austin said with a huge grin on his face.
After they were in the van, Matty tucked safely in the car seat, Robin looked over at him. “You going to be okay?”
“I hope so.”
“Well, with these big lugs, you’ve got your back pretty much covered.” He shifted in his seat. “Don’t even try to drink them under the table.”
Dex mumbled, “Lightweight.”
Rock said, “He drinks like a girl.”
Robin’s eyes glinted and he gave them both the finger. He rubbed the top of Matty’s head. “He’s lucky to have Lily as a mom. I wonder what that feels like?”
“Yeah, he does, and I bet it’s freaking fantastic,” Derrick said.
Robin looked out the window. “Yeah, I bet it is.”
He thought about Emma with a heavy thickness clogging his throat. Her last words to him came at him like a load of bricks right to his heart: I’ll never forgive you. Just when he realized how tight and intimate his relationship with her was, he’d screwed it up, to do something he had to do. He couldn’t regret cutting her out of the action, making the decision to keep her safe. He totally couldn’t regret saving Matty. Emma filled a hole inside him he’d been carrying around for way too long. She would never know what it was like to never see Matty again. He looked away as the pain from his wound made his eyes water. Yeah, that’s what he was going to tell himself.
* * *
Hours later he and Robin were standing outside Emma’s house, Tristan assuring them everything was secure.
“You want to come in?” Derrick asked.
Robin smiled. “Nah, it’s enough to know I had a hand in this. Besides, I should stay away from that beautiful babe. She looks way too innocent for the likes of me.”
“Does it help to know that she’s taken? She’s marrying some former commander in the navy.”
Robin got a pained look on his face. “Ah, hell, that blows. Just as well. Tell Emma she’s welcome and you take care. We even now?”
“Hah, we’re never going to be even.”
Robin laughed and shoved him slightly. “Right.”
Derrick watched him walk away, then turned toward the house. Heading up the stairs, he took a deep breath. Matty cooed in his arms.
“Time to see your mom, kiddo. I bet she’s missed you.”
* * *
At her home, Emma moved her backgammon piece and her grandmother scowled. “You are good at this game, even when your focus is elsewhere.” They had drawn closer, gone to counseling and were talking and working through their past. Bess had been a different woman, finally turning into their grandmother, not the doily-making, cookie-baking kind, but close enough.
Emma gave her a wan smile and Bess patted her arm. “Everything is going to be fine,” she whispered, glancing over at Lily. With her broken arm and leg, she needed twenty-four-hour care, so Emma and Bess were trading off looking after Lily. She was listlessly staring out the window, looking wan and tired. She wasn’t sleeping well and Matty’s abduction was weighing heavily on her. She blamed herself for being so stupid and getting involved with Gilberto. But she’d just come off a breakup with her navy petty officer and needed solace. She’d found it with Gilberto and had ended up pregnant. Aware she was carrying his baby, she’d contacted him to let him know about his son. But when she dug into his life, she’d discovered he was a drug lord and had flatly refused to speak with him after that.
With her broken ribs, arm and leg, mending nicely, and no permanent damage from the coma, she was recovering. At least physically.
Emma was no different. There wasn’t a night that didn’t go by that she would wake up, aching to feel Derrick next to her, missing him and sick with worry for him and her nephew. But Robin assured her that he would take care of Derrick. She’d finally learned to trust in someone and stop having a chip on her shoulder that was begging to be knocked off. She let Derrick take the lead and save her nephew because she trusted him with his life, her life and the lives of her sister and grandmother.
Robin had jumped at the chance to find Derrick for her. And Austin and Amber were so ready to help. Amber’s husband, Tristan Michaels, was checking around the house to make sure the perimeter was secure. Lord, that man was large and in charge. The Kaczewski brothers, both of them, had agreed, immediately crediting Derrick with saving them and their wives.
Tristan slipped into the room from the back patio and gave her a curt nod just as there was a knock on the door.
Emma looked at him and he moved toward it, looking through the peephole. He smiled and pulled the door open. Standing there was Derrick. Her heart and knees and every part of her felt rubbery as if she was going to collapse in a heap.
But the best part was Matty in his arms. The baby took one look at her and giggled. His laughter filled her with glee.
“Matty!” Lily yelled. “Please, bring him to me, Emma!” Derrick held him out and she took him. Her heart filled when Bess grabbed Derrick and pulled him into a hard hug. If she wasn’t so overcome with emotion, she would have laughed at Derrick’s stunned expression. She went to her sister and they kissed him and hugged him. When the brief reunion was over, she looked for Derrick, but he was gone.
She rose and walked over to Tristan. “Where did he go?”
“He said he was sorry, then left. I’m not sure where he went.”
She bolted out the door and into the street, but it was empty.
* * *
Derrick walked into NCIS and the moment he came into view, Amber was up and running. She slammed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Tristan just texted me. I’m so happy to see you.”
He winced in pain and doubled over. “I’m sorry. Are you injured?”
“Gunshot. I’m fine.”
“Gunn! Upstairs,” Kai said with a thunderous look.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Amber said with a sidelong look toward the stairs and the closed door of TacOps.
He squeezed her arm. “I’d laugh, but it hurts too much.”
Kai turned and climbed the stairs and Amber murmured, “Good luck.”
He entered TacOps and saw that the director was on the big screen.
“Agent Derrick Gunn, Director,” Kai said.
“Back from a successful mission, but I heard you were wounded. How are you doing, and shouldn’t you be in a hospital?”
“I’ve seen a doctor. I’m fine, sir.”
“You make us proud every day, young man. Now you’re on leave for the next six weeks. Job well-done.”
Derrick gaped at the screen even as it went dark. Then he turned to look at Kai. “I’m not fired?”
She shook her head, an exasperated look crossing her face. “No—on the contrary, you will probably get a medal for this. If you had bothered to check with me, you would have found out that this mission to recover Matthew St. John was already sanctioned by the director and SECNAV. There was no way in hell SECNAV was going to let an infant from one of our navy personnel be raised by a drug lord. We had no intention of letting Gilberto Ortega keep him. We had a whole team on the ready and it was just missing one component.”
>
“Me?” he said, shaking his head and laughing.
“Derrick, I can’t say enough how lucky we are to have you. But from now on, rogue missions aren’t kosher. Capisce?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t ‘ma’am’ me with that smug look on your handsome face. Now do as the director told you and get healed. I don’t want to see you back here for six weeks.” Then she hugged him hard, making him wince again, but he swallowed the pain. When she separated, she gave him a chiding look. “Try to stay out of trouble until then.”
He headed for the door. “Yes, ma’am.” Everything had turned out perfectly, except for him and Emma. He’d ruined their chance of being together by breaking her trust.
Once again he’d had to sacrifice for the greater good. It was good she was alive and well. That she, Lily and their grandmother would have the pleasure of raising Matty.
I’ll never forgive you.
Yeah, those were her final words. Bereft and completely shutting down, he didn’t even bother to go home, just hailed a cab and said, “Airport.”
Once there, he bought a first class ticket on the first available flight to the Bahamas. As soon as he was seated, he popped two pain killers and slept all the way there. Groggy and feeling sick at heart, he had someone fly him over to Tucked Away Cay. He went up to the house and went inside. His very competent British housekeeper was there and he startled the hell out of her.
“Mrs. Carbuncle, this is an impromptu visit. Sorry I scared the bejesus out of you.”
“Would you like something to eat? I can make something in a jiff.”
Derrick exhaled unevenly and shook his head. “No. Thanks. I’m just going to lie down for a bit. He turned and headed for his bedroom, not sure how much longer he could hang on to the rising pressure in his chest.
Derrick had his foot on the stair when Mrs. Carbuncle said, “I will be here for another hour, Mr. Gunn. Please let me know if you’d like me to make something for you before I go.”
Without turning around, Derrick struggled with the tightness in his throat, the burning in his eyes. “Thank you. Carry on.” He went up the stairs and his body finally shut down on him. He didn’t feel a whole hell of a lot better when he woke up, but his head was clearer, and he could think halfway rationally.
Sitting up in bed, he felt as if something heavy was pressing on his chest. With a soft, pained sound, he moved, his wound protesting...loudly. The medication must be wearing off. After checking the clock to see when he’d last taken it, he saw that he was due for another dose. He’d been asleep for eighteen hours straight.
Padding into the bathroom, he peeled away the dressing; reaching into the cabinet and pressing on a waterproof bandage, he turned on the water, letting it warm while he took his pills.
Staring at himself in the mirror, he noted his haggard appearance, the dark circles under his eyes. He’d been pushing himself with so little sleep for the last few weeks. Now he could rest.
His throat tightened. He would rest much more easily in Emma’s arms. Damn, he wanted her. Even with the pain, his body reacted to the thought of her closeness. As he walked into the open shower, he got an erection, the hard throbbing between his legs making him press his hands against the wall and let the hot water rush over him.
Want her. Want her. Want her.
Then he straightened. Was he an idiot? He hadn’t even spoken to her. Hadn’t said anything or given her a chance to tell him to take a hike. Maybe. He abruptly shut off the water and walked out, drying himself off.
He had automatically receded to the shadows, gone into hiding to lick his wounds when he realized he was no longer that man. Emma was his and they had something special together. He’d be a complete fool not to give them a chance to work this out. She had told him she wanted him in her life permanently.
He hadn’t given her his answer. Well, he was damn well going back to San Diego and telling her. Telling her he loved her. Telling her that he was sorry, ask her to forgive him. She’d probably said those words in the heat of the moment. If he’d been thinking straight, he could have been in her arms right now.
Swearing softly, soaking wet, he headed for his closet, then realized he was dripping all over the floor. Swearing even louder, he headed back to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
He heard something, and came out of his bedroom. “Mrs. Carbuncle?” he yelled. But there was no answer. He must be hearing things. He dried off as he walked back into his bedroom. Pulling open the closet, he grabbed a pair of baseball-inspired gray sweatpants with black and yellow banding at the waist and the knee. He shrugged into a yellow Polo and grunted when he pulled it over his head.
Grabbing his wallet and keys, he headed for the door. Downstairs, he went to step onto the wide porch, but stopped dead when he saw a women’s tank top covering the WEL of his welcome mat. He looked up and froze. On the newel post at the bottom of the stairs was a...bra. He closed the door and walked down the stairs, picking up the lacy nothing by its strap. He brought the concoction to his nose and breathed deep. His heart lurched and his eyes popped open.
Emma.
Then he spied the shorts on a bush leading down his path to the beach. When he followed it, he saw a pair of matching panties hanging from a palm frond. He gripped his side as he sped up.
When he hit the sand, he saw the top of her coppery head, lying prone in one of his beach chairs. For a moment he couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t move.
“This was your fantasy, Derrick, and you’re just going to stand there like a dummy? It was no easy feat to use my skills to discover you owned this island, then to fly to the mainland and hire a small plane to fly me here.”
He expelled a breath, rubbing at his eyes, his shoulders tight. Then he felt her hands curl around his wrists. He opened his eyes and she smiled, snapping his world right back into place.
His voice thick, he said huskily, “Emma, I love you. I was coming to tell you that.”
She tilted her head, leaning heavily into him. “Nice opening, but then, you are a charming bastard.”
He wrapped his arms around her, so thankful. “I thought you said you would never forgive me.”
“If you had waited until I finished my sentence, you would have heard it right. I said I would never forgive you if you died. I love you, Derrick, so much. I was more afraid of losing my independence than I was in letting go and trusting you. I understand why you wanted me out of it. You were more highly qualified and pulled it off without a hitch.”
“There was one hitch.”
“What?”
“I got shot.”
Her mouth dropped open. “And you’re standing here letting me prattle on. Holy cow, sit down.” She led him to the lounge chair and he sank down on it. She sat down next to him. “Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?”
“No. I think I’m healing as we speak. You’ve healed me, Emma. You gave me what I needed to let the past go and move forward in the future out of the shadows and into the light. I never want to let you go.”
“You don’t have to. Ask me now what I want to do with...” she kissed him softly “...this.”
“Tell me what you want, babe. I’m all ears.”
She leaned over and kissed him again. “You. Me. Permanently. Working together to make a future for us. That’s what I want.”
“Look at that,” he said softly. “We’re both on the same page.”
“I’d say you were a tad overdressed.”
“I’ve been, uh, shot.”
She pulled his shirt over his head. “I’ll be gentle.”
“It hurts, Emma.”
“I’ll kiss it and make it better.” He shut up after that and let her pull down his pants and underwear. He kicked off his flip-flops and stepped out of the material.
“You said someth
ing about slow, sweet love in the surf. Let’s go try that out. I’ll take good care of you.”
When they stepped into the warm ocean, she pushed him down. “Hmmm,” she said with a catch in her voice as she straddled him. “Just the way I like you. Flat on your back and under my mercy.”
“You promised to be gentle.”
“I did, but I didn’t say anything about not torturing you.”
“Oh, damn,” he whispered. “What a way to go.”
Epilogue
One month later
“I’m not so keen on goats.”
Derrick glanced at his son. Just after he and Emma had reconciled, he got word that Afsana, her husband, Raffi, and their two children, Israr and Emad, were in terrible danger. The terrorists they had worked so hard to put away had fragmented into a splinter group and were now aware of her part in bringing down their leaders. They were now after them. Derrick, the Kaczewski brothers, Tristan Michaels and Robin took care of that threat, and the family was given asylum in the US.
After a harrowing few days, Afsana, Raffi and the kids were now in the States and Afsana and her family were safe. Derrick found them a farm near San Diego, which they filled with goats. Derrick had shown up in their small town while tracking navy SEAL Dexter Kaczewski and Senator Piper Jones; she had gone missing while visiting her wounded brother. That had seemed like a lifetime ago, before he’d met Emma and had fallen deeply in love with her.
Israr had asked so many questions because of their resemblance to each other. Afsana had confirmed that Derrick was his father, deciding that lying to her son wasn’t healthy for anyone involved. Once they were in the States, Afsana had told Derrick Israr wanted to get to know him and now here they were, on their second outing.
“These are the kind that you can comb and make sweaters out of their hair,” Derrick said. He switched the tackle box to his other hand and opened the gate to allow them to take a short cut across the meadow, where cashmere goats cropped grass. With the threat to their lives, Afsana had to leave all her own animals behind in their small village.
Israr rolled his eyes. “Sounds like it’s more than just feeding and milking now.”