“But it’s our stinking dump!”
Kate smiles and then hugs me tightly. I never realised how much I needed a hug until now.
She pulls out of it and then stands up. “Come on then,” she says, holding out a hand. “We’ve got work to do.”
“Where are we going?” I ask as she pulls me to my feet.
“Hunting.”
15
The sun has disappeared. It’s only been about a week and I’m already getting used to this new nocturnal life. I suppose it’s no different to someone working a night-shift. People do it all the time.
Shit, didn’t Mum work the night-shift at a supermarket?
My throat catches a little, but only for a moment. I shouldn’t let returning memories bring me down. I need to think of them as another step forward.
And forward is home.
These woods should scare the hell out of me, but somehow, standing next to Kate, the fear has pretty much vanished.
“Look,” Kate whispers in my ear, pointing just ahead.
We stop by a tree, staring at the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
The deer’s head is perched down, sipping water from the stream, like something out of a wildlife documentary.
Kate puts her index finger to her lips to shush me, and then gestures with her head to follow her. I creep behind, heart fluttering with eagerness, each footstep avoiding the numerous broken twigs and fallen leaves. The deer lifts its head out of the water and looks in our direction. Can it see us? The deer starts to drink again, which leads me to believe that we’re invisible out here in the pitch black.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing in the dark, but it’s definitely one of the advantages of being a vampire.
The stream is now just a couple of metres away. Kate puts her hand out to stop me going any further, but she keeps moving.
I’ve never seen a deer up close before, only in pictures and on TV. It reminds me of Christmas, and that reindeer ornament we had on the mantelpiece. My mind starts to drift as I watch Kate get just inches from the animal.
I love Christmas, and everything about it. How can I kill a defenceless deer? It was practically Rudolph.
I clap my hands hard and the deer bolts off, disappearing into the woods.
Kate turns to me, snarling. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“I’m sorry,” I reply, squirming. “It just reminded me too much of a Christmas reindeer.”
Shaking her head, Kate walks over to me, a frown deeply imprinted on her forehead. “I almost had it, Thea.”
“I know. I couldn’t help it. He just looked so cute.”
Kate sighs. “So what do you want us to do? Only kill ugly animals?”
I nod my head. “That would help.”
Kate hasn’t spoken to me for the past few miles. I don’t blame her; animal blood was my idea, so the least I can do is suck it up. I’ve already killed an adorable little rabbit; a deer isn’t that much cuter. But it was different with the rabbit; I was starving, delirious. I would have murdered Santa Claus himself if he’d been out here that night.
“Have you eaten lamb before?” Kate asks sharply as we emerge from the woods to a narrow country road.
“Yeah.”
“Well, there’s a sheep over there. Is that too cute for you?”
I spot the animal, eating grass along the side of the road. His wool is overgrown and scruffy, and his head is unusually large.
His cute days are definitely behind him.
“He’ll do,” I reply.
“Good,” she says, “now stay where you are and leave it to me.”
I give a thumbs-up in agreement and she starts to skulk toward the animal. Out here, away from the trees, it’s not as dark; the moon is pretty bright tonight. Kate goes low to the ground, practically crawling like a cat who’s about to sneak up on a mouse.
Suddenly the sheep lifts its head, sees Kate immediately, and then sprints off into the woods. She darts after it, disappearing out of sight. I chase behind, terrified of being left out here alone.
Kate is just a few metres ahead of me, so I catch up to her quickly. The sheep isn’t as fast, but it’s running erratically, making it difficult to keep track of.
I zoom past Kate, dodging trees, leaping over grass banks as if I knew these woods like my own garden. The sheep is just inches from my grasp. I reach out, grazing its wool, but losing the creature when it changes direction. I keep up the pursuit, missing the sheep again and again. At a stream, it jumps over it, clearing it with ease. I do the same, but manage to propel my body even further, landing onto the animal, crushing its head with my feet. I roll onto the ground and then slide down a huge grass bank. Digging my fingernails into the dirt, I try to stop myself, but can’t, until my back slams painfully into a tree.
At the top of the bank, Kate suddenly appears, carrying a massive grin on her face, and a motionless sheep under her arm.
Climbing back to my feet, I brush the muck off my clothes and walk towards Kate. “Is it dead?”
Kate nods. “Of course it’s dead. You broke its neck.”
Reaching the top of the hill, I examine the still animal. Such a sight should disturb me; turn me sick. But after everything that’s happened—I couldn’t be happier.
“Well done,” Kate says, passing the sheep to me.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I hold it tight to my chest, surprised at how light the creature feels.
“Hey, you killed it—you can carry it back to the farm.”
“Fine,” I reply, blowing a clump of wool from my lips. “But you’re catching the next one.”
Kate lays the dead sheep on the kitchen floor and then warms a little human blood in a mug. Kneeling, she lifts the creature’s limp head, places a large, plastic jug below it, and then, using the knife, makes a small incision in its throat.
I wince as blood squirts from the animal, filling the jug in seconds.
Kate gets back onto her feet and then pours a little animal blood into the mug, mixing it together with a spoon. She sips it again to check the temperature and then hands it to me.
Without a moment’s hesitation, I down the liquid in one go. For a moment, I close my eyes in pleasure as it drowns the pain in my stomach.
Kate stares at me for a minute or so, waiting for any side-effects to kick in.
I focus on my stomach, willing it to remain settled.
“How do you feel?” Kate asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “Fine, I guess. Maybe it worked.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she says. “Give it another few minutes before we start celebrating.” She then lifts the jug of sheep’s blood and takes a giant gulp, swallows hard, and then braces a second. She puts the jug down on the floor, eyes watering, fists clenched, and then stands up, clearly fighting hard not to throw up.
“You okay?” I ask.
She doesn’t answer.
Taking in huge breaths of air, she tries to settle her stomach. After about a minute, she shakes her head. “That was fucking disgusting.”
I laugh.
All Kate can manage is a smile. “Can’t wait for a second helping tomorrow.”
“I bet you can’t,” I say as I cover the jug with cling-film and place it in the fridge. “So how long do you think it’ll take before I can make a permanent change? Days? Weeks?”
“One step at a time, Thea. There’s no rush.”
“Of course there’s a rush. The sooner I can kick human blood, the sooner I can get my life ba-arghhhh—”
A sudden sharp pain cuts into my side, quickly followed by vertigo. Eyes closed, I grab hold of the worktop to steady myself.
“Are you okay?” Kate asks, putting her hand on my shoulder.
The moment she touches me, an explosion of red vomit gushes out of my mouth, projecting onto the wall and cupboards.
“Oh shit!” Kate yells as she tilts my body down to the floor
No more vomit follows,
just agonising stomach cramps. Kate steers me around the sick and into the living room. I sit down heavily on the couch and let out a massive groan. “What the hell do we do now?” I ask her; my voice croaky; my throat strained. “I’m screwed.”
Kate sits next to me. “Don’t worry about it. I probably put in too much animal blood. We’ll try again later, and I’ll only use a tiny bit of animal. It’ll take a little longer for your system to adjust, but it’ll be worth it. Remember, Thea: it’s only our first go.” She strokes my arm. “We’ll get there. I promise.”
“Okay.” I turn and glare in disappointment at the huge pool of vomit over the floor. “I’ll clean that up in a minute.”
Kate gets up from the couch. “Don’t be silly. I’ll sort it. It’s the least I can do seeing as you caught that sheep—and made me feel like an old lady, sprinting past me like that.”
“Thanks, Kate.”
She ruffles my sweat soaked hair and then walks towards the kitchen. “Don’t mention it.”
I pick up the remote and put the TV on, hoping that a shitty DVD will take away this feeling of failure.
And the stink of puke, hopefully.
16
I haven’t been able to move off the couch all night. My muscles are sore and my gut feels twisted and burned.
Every sip of that putrid blood makes me throw up, but I keep doing it, night after night, just to fight this monster buried under my skin. I can feel it trying to escape, scratching, making my flesh crawl with itchy goosebumps.
My arms and legs have become so skinny, it’s disturbing. And I can tell by the way Kate glances at me that it disturbs her too. She says she’s worried about me, tells me not to put so much pressure on myself, that maybe I should reduce the animal blood back to just a few drops. But that would be the easy route, the loser’s way, and I definitely ain’t no loser! If a junkie can get clean, if an alcoholic can give up the booze, then I can fight this. This is just an obstacle, blocking my journey back home. It might slow me down, send me down the wrong path, but eventually I’ll get there. I’ve just got to toughen up. So what if I get thin? So what if I puke up on the floor? A little puke adds colour to this dump.
The taste of sheep’s blood isn’t getting any easier for Kate. She hides the revulsion in her face, but the watering eyes and retching are a dead giveaway. She could give it up, get back on the good stuff, but she’s doing it for me. And that’s exactly why I can never give up. It’s not just about killing anymore; it’s about beating these awful cravings, kicking its arse to the ground. And if I can beat it, then Kate will stick with it too. So I can’t throw in the towel—no matter what.
She’s been out hunting for the past three hours. Yesterday we used up the last of the sheep’s blood. I offered to help her, but she insisted that I rested. I didn’t fight her too hard; the last thing I feel like doing is running around those bloody woods. My night-vision is practically extinct, so I’d be very little help anyway.
I’ve been working my way through a box-set of Everybody Loves Raymond. It’s one of Kate’s all-time favourite shows. I don’t see the appeal myself, but it’s something to watch, something to distract me. God knows I could use it. But even when I think that I’m lost in an episode, engrossed in a funny situation, I can feel the fridge calling me, telling me—begging me—to tear open a blood bag, to drain every last one of them.
Fuck the consequences.
The front door opens, and Kate comes trudging into the house, covered head to toe in mud, and carrying a dead pig under her right arm. She looks exhausted with a frown across her forehead.
“Fucking pig!” she utters, dropping the animal on the living-room floor. “Found him lurking in a field. Must have escaped from another farm. The little bastard got away from me three times.”
Seeing Kate so dirty should bring a smirk to my face, but I’m far too shattered. “Sorry. I should have come out with you.”
“No need to say sorry. You’re too weak to go hunting. I’m just pissed off that a stupid pig managed to outsmart me, that’s all.” She looks down at the creature, with a smug look on her face. “Well, who’s laughing now—you fat fuck?”
17
I’m awake, but I can’t open my eyes. I can just about hear Kate’s voice calling to me, telling me to wake up. I feel her hands on my shoulders, shaking them hard, but they still won’t open. Then an ice-cold gush of water hits me in the face. Still nothing.
I think I’m dying.
Ivy appears in my head. And Gran. I don’t see Granddad, though; he’s too sick to move again. We’re at the cinema, watching a cartoon. I can’t remember which one. Ivy looks bored; she’s outgrown these silly movies. There’s a big grin on Gran’s face; she’s enjoying it even more than me. I have a large cup of Coke slotted into the seat’s cup-holder, and a gigantic tub of popcorn on my lap, way too big for just me. Ivy has a tub to herself, and Gran just has a bag of sweets.
Suddenly a hand reaches over from the seat next to me and scoops out a huge handful of popcorn. It’s Mum. Just before she stuffs the popcorn into her mouth, I notice her teeth and gums—they’re drenched in blood.
Mum, you’re bleeding! I say in shock—but she doesn’t answer.
She scoops out another handful and says, Thanks sweetheart. You’re a star for sharing.
Did someone hurt you?
The cinema starts to dissolve around me as a bright light rips through the screen, blinding me.
“Open your eyes!” Kate says, firmly. “Please.”
The light from the bedroom lamp hits me as my eyelids part. Kate is sitting on the floor to the side of me
“Thank God for that,” she says, exhaling loudly. “I thought I’d lost you.”
“What happened?” I ask, huskily. I cough hard to clear my throat.
“You collapsed in the living room,” she replies, fluffing my pillow. Don’t you remember?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You’ve been sleeping for two days. I thought I’d leave you be, but then I got worried, tried to wake you—but you wouldn’t budge.”
“I don’t remember a thing.”
“Well that’s it, Thea. You’ll have to give up the animal blood. You can’t go on like this. It’s too dangerous.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say; my words muffled by another loud cough. “Don’t worry.”
“No, you won’t be.” Kate picks up a mug filled with blood from the floor. “Here. Drink this,” she says, hovering it under my chin.
Just as I’m about to take a sip, I stop myself. “It’s human—isn’t it?”
“Just drink it,” she replies, pushing the mug against my lips. “It’ll make you better.”
I move my head away from it in protest. “I don’t want it, Kate. I’ll never get my life back if I give up now.”
She follows my mouth with the mug. “Please take it.”
I sit up even further, my bony back against the cold, cracked wall. “I said no! I won’t do it!”
“Thea, there’s nothing left of you. If you keep this up, you’ll have no life. You’re withering away right in front of my eyes.” She pushes the mug up to my mouth again. “Just drink it.”
“I said no!” I repeat, even louder, hitting the mug out of Kate’s hand. It flies across the room, smashing as it hits the floor. She watches in shock as a pool of precious blood forms beneath the thick shards of ceramic.
The bedroom falls silent.
I shouldn’t have done that.
I wait for Kate to scream at me, to tell me that I’m an idiot—but she doesn’t. Instead, she stares at me with dejected eyes and takes my hand. “Jesus Christ, you’re a stubborn cow.”
“I know.”
Kate glances at the spilled blood as it leaks through the gaps between the floorboards. “Okay. You win. I’ll give you one more week—and that’s it. One more week and if you haven’t improved, if you still can’t keep it down, then I’ll be force-feeding you.”
A thin smile escapes my
cracked lips. “Okay. Deal.”
Kate stands up. “I mean it, Thea.”
“Yeah,” I reply with a nod, “I know you do. But it won’t come to that.”
She looks as though she’s about to say something, but instead gathers up the broken pieces of mug and exits the room.
I gaze at the door for a few minutes, wondering how the hell I’m going to last another week. My optimism is practically dried up—as dry as that blood will be.
I bet it’s still warm. I can smell it.
One taste. One lick.
I pull the pillow flat, rest my head against it and close my eyes. No. I won’t do it. I will beat this thing. I just need a little more time…
…And rest…
…That’s all…
18
Night and day no longer matter. My sleep has become erratic, broken, and my neck is sore from lying down for so long.
Kate is desperate for me to give up on animal blood, praying that I’ll reconsider. But it’s not gonna happen. I have a family out there—somewhere—waiting for me to come home.
I miss them so much.
I have to stay strong. I have to beat this. The end is getting near. I can feel it. Touch it. Whether it’s an end to this dependence on human blood, or an end to my life, I have no idea.
I close my eyes again and let the hunger take me away. Somewhere far, somewhere easy, a place where there’s no pain, no cravings, just peace, just light.
Away from this darkness…
19
I wake to the sound of floorboards creaking. My mouth is dry and my head is pounding.
Kate is standing over me, holding a mug in her right hand. I know it’s pure human blood. I can smell the difference. She wants to force-feed me; I can tell by her crazed, focused stare.
Thea (Book 2): A Vampire Story Page 8