I held my gaze with difficulty and in silence.
He waved his hand to the other mansions, then placed his palm against his chest. ‘And you are the most beautiful woman here.’
That was why he was distant. Take my head? Poison me? Divorce me? He had those rights.
Michimori shifted behind me, his arms over mine, and pretended to show me the fingering for two arrows at the same time. ‘You spend almost as much time with Tokikazu as you do with me. You say you have sympathy for me.’ His words transformed to the roughness of rocks. ‘If you have sympathy for Tokikazu, be punctilious. I cannot and will not forgive disloyalty.’
Threats. He accused me. I had said no to Tokikazu! I had taken the Right Action. Flames hurtled through me until I dripped inside my new armour. My jaw clamped, and I wriggled to be free of Michimori’s hold. He compressed his forearms across my breasts until I could barely breathe.
‘Stop, please,’ I gasped.
He loosened his grip, but did not remove his arms. I remembered who and what he was. All of what he could do.
The quiet belied the reserve between us.
Bush warblers swept over the targets. Perhaps my father’s spirit reminded me of my duty and honour. At that moment, seeing those birds, I pictured my father, and my thoughts clarified.
‘My honourable lord,’ I said formally, ‘may I explain in your quarters?’
With a nod to the key guards at the perimeter of the target area, he strode home. I had to run to keep up.
We stood, face to face, alone, in his apartments. His features stiffened to those of a statue. ‘Speak.’ The word thrown at me like a shuriken.
‘Before we were married,’ I made my voice agreeable against the invisible hand choking me, ‘you asked what was in my heart. You know that sympathy has replaced my fear. Akio has taught me since I was a small girl. He is like – no, he is the father I lost. That is all.’
I took time to prepare what I would say of Tokikazu. I could not lie, yet I did not wish to speak of the strong attraction between Tokikazu and myself.
‘You are aware that Tokikazu resembles Genji, one woman after another. I have known this, also.’ I grasped his forearms with my hands. ‘There has been no disloyalty, nor will there be. Did I not prove my loyalty beyond question at my Purification? I allowed Goro to – to –’ I bit my lower lip at these thoughts. ‘Because I believed you had ordered it. How much more to prove my loyalty, my devotion to my duty and to your honour?’ My shame at my attraction for Tokikazu both marked my face crimson and aroused my ire with myself.
I lifted my head, so he could better see my eyes. ‘My honourable lord, my husband to whom I have pledged my life and loyalty, I have maintained both my duty and honour.’
His voice softened to chrysanthemum petals. ‘I would die for yours.’
These few words sank into me, like a sword into my belly. Had he accepted the truth? ‘I did not like how you forced me on the target line,’ I grumbled, with tears flowing across my face.
He compressed his arms around my chest again. ‘Like this?’
‘Yes,’ I growled, weeping still for the delicate and durable insistence of his arms against my body.
‘You do not like this?’ He lifted me off the ground, kicked open the futon, and laid me across it. He murmured against my ear, ‘You are too beautiful not to have.’
I bent my knees and put my feet against him, still fuming. His thick chest pressed my legs apart. We wrestled briefly.
Then we ceased wrestling.
I was behind the six-part folding screens at the Hour of the Dog, nibbling a rice ball and working to stay awake. The rice ball was to allay my concern that my stomach noises, after all day without food, might betray my presence. I listened carefully to the new group, almost all of the provincial governors.
The drought, its poverty and pestilence, had caused a pause in the hostilities. Michimori and the other governors’ tasks included the requisition of troops and supplies from the provinces. War loomed. Indeed, it had arrived inside the Rokuhara gate. The samurai in some provincial shōen resented the Taira Clan.
‘No wonder they hate us!’ Michimori had groused the night before.
‘You have been vigilant and considerate of your responsibilities in Echizen. How can they hate you?’ I wanted to touch him, but knew better than to do so when he was irked.
‘My uncle and cousins have foolishly reduced land rights to the proprietors, which reduced their samurai’s income as well.’
‘You mean your relatives have alienated the people you need to fight in this war?’
He grunted in the affirmative, lay down, put his arm around me and, later, went to sleep.
By now I recognised each of the governors’ voices: first, the one we had named ‘Wisteria’. ‘His father,’ Michimori had whispered one evening when we were alone, ‘was probably the son of an umbrella vendor. He made Wisteria an errand boy at a merchant’s stall and has not been a true Taira nephew since he fled from the water birds.’ He referred to an encounter in which, when the enemy suddenly released water birds, Wisteria’s waiting soldiers had retreated prematurely.
Drake, another of Michimori’s uncles, attended this meeting – a great singer and poet who fought with brush and koto. Nothing else.
Another governor sat close to Michimori. He had dense eyebrows and was thick of body and legs. He spoke gentleness with a voice like rocks grinding together. Akio had named him Large Cicada, for that timbre.
Last of all was Kingfisher, shorter than the others, an uncle with a booming voice. He leaped to display his arrows with their special feathers, as a kingfisher dives to catch fish. His reputation for accuracy and courage was rumoured by Sadakokai to be almost equal to Michimori’s.
The group studied their plan to attack, making sure the conscription lists were adequate, the horses ready.
‘Honourable nephew,’ Michimori began respectfully, ‘I beg a few questions of you.’
‘Yes, Michimori, my uncle,’ Wisteria responded graciously.
‘I am not convinced we are ready for such a march. While we may have enough men, our supplies are not laid out properly or adequately.’
‘We must move swiftly,’ Kingfisher interjected. ‘My sources say Yoritomo is travelling to his uncle, who is in Shinano Province. Even if we leave now, we may not reach them.’
‘If the two Minamoto leaders reconcile, they will have a larger force against us,’ Michimori concluded. ‘It might be perilous for us if they reach agreement—’
‘So it is settled. We will leave in no more than two days,’ Wisteria interrupted, half asking and half commanding in his pusillanimous style.
‘Since we do not have enough men, according to Michimori, perhaps we should recruit female warriors,’ Large Cicada suggested, his eyebrows moving like caterpillars.
‘If we did, I would put my coins on Lady Kozaishō – her spirit is great even though her warrior’s wardrobe is not as dazzling as that of some.’ Michimori referred to a Minamoto consort, Lady Tomoe, and her renowned armour.
The Taira Clan leaders left one by one, making small-talk. After some time, I returned to my quarters to be summoned. I was gratified by the confidence Michimori placed in my battle schemes, although unsure of our ability to triumph and uneasy that my husband still harboured misgivings about me.
VI. Journeying
Tenth day of the Fifth Month
After I receive invitations to the Imperial Palace for bagaku, banquets and archery contests, Akio brings the orders to me in my apartments. Only a select few deliver them to me, and Tokikazu only rarely. Another precaution. Michimori’s hand or Akio’s?
The order is to prepare for travel.
I am to accompany Michimori. This is not the hurried travel of before because there are thousands of people to be directed, fed and sheltered. I say silent prayers that the weather might remain cool. The new commander-in-chief, Michimori, rides as I have seen him before, runners coming and going, whispering in
to his ears, always the hub of a great wheel.
After conferring with his captains, Michimori gestures to me and I stride to Thunderbolt, his well-known mount. How imposing he is – his full armour, with its gold, black and red silk threads, and his helmet with its crescent moon shining like a brazier in a moonless night. My stomach squeezes in delight looking at him.
I will be riding beside him on Dragon Cloud. Much has changed since I was the little girl Proprietor Chiba had flogged and who had seen the dragon-like cloud and the white pheasant, which allowed me to be samurai. I allow my eyes to flicker a smile at my husband. I wear my new armour with the new helmet and face guard he has had made. My helmet is like his, but without the crescent moon.
Michimori’s brows are set low. ‘The runner believes Hare is joining his nephew, Rat,’ he reports, ‘and combining their troops. I am going to Mount Hiei to seek the monks’ support there for the Go-Shi – Fox, but especially for us.’
His eyebrows lift.
‘Yes, I will go with you.’ Our souls seem to touch, although this is no pleasure jaunt.
‘Look over there.’ Michimori points to a man sitting on a hill near our troops, besieged by servants. ‘Drake has decided to take the day for meditation and music while we face pressure to ride north.’ He glowers at the hill, then canters to make arrangements with his captains.
Twelfth day of the Fifth Month
At Mount Hiei, Michimori emphasises to the abbot and the head monks our alignment with the emperor. He tells the story again:
‘When the righteous emperor had been seized by the Minamoto, Kiyomori freed him by dressing him in ladies’ kimonos, pretending to be a lady-in-waiting, thus saving his life.’
‘I am not hopeful, my lord.’ I say afterwards. ‘The abbot with whom you spoke, his eyes were as unpolished mirrors.’
Sixteenth day of the Fifth Month
The weather is colder at this higher elevation. I am pleased to have brought all the clothing I did. Thank the Gods, I am not frail like Emi but hardy, more like Michimori.
We intercept the rest of our troops near Kuchiki Castle in Wakasa and deliver the small number of sōhei from Mount Hiei. The white scarves over their heads and their black gauze robes over skirts add different shapes and colours to our multitude. Most of our troops wear their usual square do-maru armour. When they first arrived, I examined each one’s nose with one hand on my dagger, the other on my sword. My heart drummed up to my throat.
Twentieth day of the Fifth Month
Michimori allows me to accompany him while he recruits in Echizen. He and Tokikazu tell tales of Tiger’s Four Heavenly Kings. Each story is more unbelievable than the last, but I enjoy them: they distract me from my empty and uneasy stomach.
We see no one. The villagers have fled, probably to higher ground where our full army cannot go. We find only a little rice – drought and famine are here in the west. I am grateful for the small portions. Recently recruited men complain but those close to Michimori do not mention it, particularly when they see we are as hollow in the cheeks as themselves.
Twenty-fifth day of the Fifth Month
I finally see Michimori’s beautiful Echizen Province. The evergreens have survived the drought and cover the slopes in varied greens.
Tokikazu says, ‘Unlike other governors, Michimori did not stay in the capital. He had frequent outings here.’ He winks at me. ‘When his underlings least expected it, he or his messengers appeared to ensure all was performed according to his wishes. He knows the shōen proprietors, the Chief Priests and abbots at most major shrines and temples.’
‘Michimori will find more recruits?’ My body heats: I have not seen Tokikazu for a time, but I keep my voice neutral. I force my eyes away from his striking face and think of others.
‘Yes, hopefully.’
Michimori’s knowledge, I pray, will be useful.
Third day of the Sixth Month
We ride northwards to Hiuchi, another mountain castle. According to the men scuttling back and forth to Michimori, it holds a strong Minamoto force. It is an ominous fortress, with huge hills in front and behind. Two rivers and a lake block its only entrance. The water glistens in the summer light, but is impassable without boats, of which we have none.
Sixth day of the Sixth Month
The commanders spend several days considering their options for crossing the lake, including poetry and other gratuitous activities from Drake and others. Misuki calls them ‘as useful as the feathers of a goose’. At night Michimori and I rest briefly with our heads together. I am frustrated as to how we can proceed, but his fingers soothe my face.
‘You will see, my valiant warrior, how the seeds I sowed while governor will bear fruit.’
I gaze at him in the darkness with sadness and hope.
‘I have friends who have pledged loyalty throughout this province, not only warriors but priests. I trust the Gods and the Buddha to protect and guide us, just as I was guided to you.’ He begins to touch me and our tent becomes warmer. He brings delight to me, and then I drift into sleep.
A short time later, Misuki and Mokuhasa awaken us. They bring a message from Michimori’s friend, Abbot Master Saimei.
The abbot master’s letter reveals all. The lake is no lake! The Minamoto dammed a mountain stream to create it. Abbot Master Saimei suggests logs be broken or cut. Then the water will subside.
A secret friend comes
Buddha’s mercy gives us aid
The lake disappears
Blessed Goddess of Mercy!
Swiftly we will vanquish foes
In the middle of the night Tokikazu, Akio and I lead a party of fifteen selected archers to protect the men who will swim to remove the logs. No birds, no frogs or crickets, probably because the lake is so new. The thick silence makes our footsteps echo. I hear my heart and practise breathing to quiet its din.
With a stern look at Tokikazu, Akio places himself between us. I am protected and, in the armour my husband gave me, I do my part. The Taira leaders forbade Michimori to go on this mission. He is too valuable to lose. I agree, but the scent of Tokikazu’s incense kneads my underbelly.
The eighteen of us hold together in the darkness, shoulder to shoulder, arrows pointing from the arc we form, listening, waiting, discerning between splashing of our swimmers and any noise from the enemy.
The quiet hours trickle sluggishly past under the moonlight. I suggest we change places, around our arc. Each of us will better maintain our attention. Tokikazu whispers, ‘Yes.’ Akio places himself between us at each exchange.
Finally, the surge of flowing water. Success.
Tomorrow, battle.
Tenth day of the Sixth Month
Michimori and the other commanders are victorious at Hiuchi. My fights are successful, without difficulty, almost without effort. Not even a scratch on my boot. The entire castle and the Minamoto who remain surrender today. The enemies who did not retreat are secured.
‘Too easy,’ Michimori says that night. ‘Much too easy.’
I agree, and gloom descends. I do not sleep well.
We march north again to Kaga Province where the enemy is.
VII. The Trap
Sixteenth day of the Sixth Month
Over meagre rations and a small fire the commanders meet after our victory at Ataka.
Drake says, ‘Now that we have two solid victories, no men are leaving the ranks.’
‘They did well for themselves,’ adds Large Cicada.
Kingfisher glances around. ‘We have them on the run.’ He makes a fist in the air and nods at the others. ‘We should follow them north to where we can subdue them.’
I see his huge head bobbing even from my vantage-point behind a makeshift kichō.
Michimori rises from the circle. ‘The Minamoto are not so straightforward. Did not anyone think the retreat a little abrupt? Too soon?’ Michimori’s darkened eyes glare against the fire.
‘That is because we so cleverly mastered their strateg
y at Hiuchi,’ Large Cicada retorts.
Others utter mild curses in agreement.
‘I am not so sure,’ Michimori says. ‘My scouts report that many of their force did not engage us at all. When I spoke with my men, they saw foot soldiers rushing back to Ataka but wearing samurai clothing.’
A few mumble in agreement, but do not agree to travel home.
‘This is important!’ Michimori pursues the issue with fingers splayed taut on his thigh. ‘If you will not consider returning, at least divide our forces to march to Kurikara. It is too dangerous a place with what the Minamoto know of us.’
Kingfisher speaks again: ‘Regardless of their information, the division of our troops is a prudent idea.’
I hear grunts of assent.
So it is decided. Michimori, since he is more familiar with the land, will go with Kingfisher to the north with a third of our soldiers.
Twentieth day of the Sixth Month
Michimori cannot sleep, which is unusual for him. I attempt to soothe him with music, but it brings him no comfort. Finally, early in the morning or late at night, I cannot say, he speaks to me.
‘My sense of foreboding does not go away,’ he murmurs. His fists grab the quilts.
I have no reply. I say little to him when he is like this.
He sits and continues talking while stroking my hair. ‘We have been travelling too long. We lack the element of surprise. The enemy knows where we are. With the battles we have won, the last one too quickly, they must know our full strength.’
He gazes up and is silent again, so I venture a reply, ‘Perhaps with this plan to divide, we may have some measure of surprise. What else can we do?’
‘Right! What else is to be done?’ His muscles tighten like those of a cat ready to spring. ‘The others will not listen. I say go back, or seem to go back, then turn and attack suddenly. They are sure of their plan, and I am duty-bound to it, not mine.’ He runs his hands through his hair and grunts. He speaks mostly to himself, not to me.
I know of no story strong enough to match his agitation. Therefore I lie down beside him and give some physical comfort. I stroke his neck and back. Finally he sleeps a little.
The Pillow Book of the Flower Samurai Page 35