I remained motionless, the better to listen.
‘This is not one of your lovers’ games. I have known her since she was a little girl.’
‘Akio, she is a grown woman now.’
At this I said yes to myself.
‘Have you seen what Chiba did to her back? No? I have. When she was only nine or ten. A sight I have not forgotten.’
‘No.’ The resentment leached out of Tokikazu’s voice.
‘Imagine what Chiba did to those girls because he was forbidden to use them as he wanted.’
‘No. Akio.’
‘Do you know what Goro likes to do to girls of my daughters’ ages?’
I did not stir, frozen in memories. Copper pheasants cooed in their nests.
‘I know, Tokikazu. I know.’ Akio’s voice crackled as he snapped out the words. ‘That is why I went to the Village of Outcasts willingly. Joyfully. I needed to protect my girls. It would have been only a short while before he discovered them.’
‘He?’
‘Goro. Daigoro no Goro. You remember him?’
Tokikazu grunted several times and spat. Goro had cost him dear.
‘We must not let this oni in priest’s clothes near her again. Goro killed her lover, a girl named Tashiko, in the same way that he murdered Emi!’
‘Her lover? Kozaishō had a female lover?’ Tokikazu’s voice was suddenly as faint as a wispy cloud.
‘The only difference between Tashiko’s and Emi’s deaths is, hopefully, that Goro did not have time to torture and rape Emi before he strangled her.’
A snarl of revulsion pierced the pavilion, a spear into a mochi.
‘Yes, Tokikazu. That is what he likes to do. Torture. Rape. Then strangle.’
‘Loathsome! What evil!’
‘If you dishonour Kozaishō, she will be punished. Do not do that. Please. Know also I will come for you.’
‘I assure you my feelings for Kozaishō are honourable.’
‘I must have your word.’
‘Akio, I give it to you. I will not dishonour Kozaishō. I will not.’
‘She is another daughter to me.’ His words floated like an autumn leaf on a pond. ‘Let us protect her, then.’
‘Agreed.’
‘But remember, I shall continue to watch you.’
‘If you must, Akio. Now let us find our recalcitrant student and put her through her paces.’
‘Yes. She will need her skills.’
‘I fear so.’
That night Plover met me. I saw his white-streaked hair glistening under the new moon near the plum trees.
‘I could not tell all earlier, my lady.’
‘All of what?’
‘All of the men we questioned not only admitted Minamoto ties, but direct orders.’
‘From whom?’
‘Daigoro no Goro.’
The sound of that name sent a shiver of anger up my back to my neck. ‘I am not surprised. Is there more, valued Plover?’
‘He told us where to find Goro.’
My body flushed hotly. ‘Where? You know why I need to find him.’
‘Yes, my lady.’
I looked him in the eyes. ‘You know what I wish to do. And you know what he has done.’
‘Yes, my lady.’
He gave me the information.
‘I will arrange a false assignation by the river. Can I rely on your discretion?’
‘By that you mean silence?’
‘Yes. At least until my meeting is over.’
‘For you. Also for our honourable Commander-in-Chief Lord Taira no Michimori.’
I heard a sigh. I waited and stared into his eyes.
‘Yes, my lady.’
III. Honour and Blood
He sat near the side of a stream, his back to a small wood fire, wearing a black kanmuri. How silly that hat looked on his ugly face. I stood silent and waited. My mouth tasted of sand. He blinked as he noticed my sword and my thumb resting on its tsuba. I had devised this scheme since he had tortured and raped me, more than three years ago.
I had envisaged a fight, but he held only a dagger. An honourable way would have been to give him an equal weapon. I had no intention of treating him honourably. He had lost the right to such from the moment he had misused his power.
‘You!’ He recognised me.
‘Yes. Kozaishō, wife of the commander-in-chief, the honourable Lord Echizen Governor Taira no Michimori.’
‘It is said Michimori is never without his Woman-for-Play. Perhaps he is here to protect you,’ he sneered, and glanced to each side, standing. ‘Where is he?’ He gave a short laugh, but looked around with fear in his black eyes.
‘I stand here alone.’ I stared at him, then set my face guard and helmet. He would either run or fight. I hoped he would fight.
‘Alone?’ His face contorted into a true mask of wickedness, from the face of an egret to that of a hawk.
My sword could do the deed. My arrows could bring him down if he ran.
His foot made a small shift backwards. He was going to run. I pulled two arrows together out of my quiver and then set my bow.
His eyes darted to his right. Two arrows notched.
His eyes flashed left.
I raised my bow.
His eyes looked upwards. He shifted back again, slightly. This was sweet, seeing him try to control his fright. He had harmed me for so long; he had earned it.
Another step backwards.
Another.
I smiled and directed my thoughts. A pull on my bow.
His left heel pivoted.
I breathed with an arrow.
He turned.
Zap.
Readied my second arrow.
Zap.
Both targets struck.
There he lay, face down, legs askew, an arrow piercing each thigh.
With caution I strolled to stand at his head. It moved to one side and up a little. His eyes burned red with what I hoped was fear, possibly pain or hate.
‘That was for Misuki. My servant and friend. For her anguish. You let her know of your “Purification” trap for me, but she was powerless to prevent it.’
His lips pinched together. He took loud breaths, while his eyes flitted back and forth. He righted himself. He wrested at the arrows.
One wound bled profusely. I could not allow the bleeding to kill him. I grabbed a long piece of wood from the fire and staunched it. He screeched as a demon from the deepest Hell. I threw away the wood and unsheathed my sword. He fell back into the sand, then wobbled to his feet, panting hard.
Staring at him, but far enough away that he could not kick me, I said, ‘I want to relish this as much as you amused yourself in harming me and mine.’
I stepped back to view all of him. I feigned moving my head down as if to look at his feet and cut off his broken nose. He howled, raised his hands to stop the gush of blood, and knelt in the sand.
‘Now you will not have to live with that broken nose.’ I forced my lips upwards. ‘That is for the innocent life you took. My Emi’s. She was the servant you strangled in my apartments. You used her as if she were a piece on a go board.’ His moaning became a rhythmic drone.
‘Even if you have a hundred tongues in your mouth and utter a thousand prayers, never speak ill of monks or violate women, or you will incur more penalties.’
My last stroke cut lightly into his belly. His intestines bulged across his forearms and thighs, and he dropped backwards into the sand. He scrutinised the viscera oozing from his belly. He knew an excruciating death was impending.
‘That was for the poor girl named Tashiko at the Village of Outcasts near Uji. You murdered her for your pleasure. Then you shortened her funeral. You cut her life force. You dishonoured her . . . and me. Her soul has wandered for years because of you!
‘And you made a sham of my Purification ceremony. You raped me! You used your power in perverted ways. You persecuted me and my servants. All those attempts to kill me and my husband!’
His hawk eyes spilled with tormented tears. His eyes swelled white and wide, gazing at me.
I could not continue to torture him. I had inflicted ample pain for honourable retribution. With one stroke I took off his head, then set it on a spear in the sand.
Retrieving the cleaning cloths from my horse, I removed all traces of his wickedness from my sword and replaced it in its sheath.
I had fulfilled an honourable revenge. I thought of Emi’s smiling face as she recited her prayers with me. Of Misuki, such a devoted and dedicated companion. My beloved Tashiko, lying dead with her neck encircled by that ring of rope-torn flesh. I stared at Goro’s eyes – not wide with pain and fear, but as they were the last time I had viewed them, glinting in candlelight, flickering with power, viciousness, lust and brutality. This had been the Right Action.
Tokikazu confessed later that day that he had positioned archers and samurai around the area. After my first arrow, he had ordered them away. Servants obliterated all footprints, except mine.
I would never have known if he had not told me. Surely he is a Bodhisattva working here on earth.
My delight in taking a life dampened the fires of my victory. What would my father have said? I had taken the honourable path and action without gratification or gladness.
Had Michimori helped Tokikazu protect me? Perhaps not.
That evening, after being ritually cleansed, the entrance to Michimori’s mansion appeared the same; perhaps it was I who had changed.
Michimori sent for me and, with Tokikazu and Akio as escorts, I hurried to his apartments.
‘How did you fare?’ Michimori’s flat voice denied his flashing brown eyes.
He knew. Tears sprang from my eyes before words could form. Alone with my husband, I grabbed his broad chest and breathed with heavy sobs. He combed my hair with his fingers and with his other hand massaged my back. When I stopped crying, he murmured into my hair, ‘It is different. With someone you know. And for someone you know. Is it not?’
Pulling back slightly, I said, ‘Yes. I cannot believe Three Eyes is truly gone.’
‘He is dead, my, my—’ Michimori stroked the tears off my face. He pulled me hard against him. ‘Please be wary. Three Eyes was not the last of our enemies.’
‘Oh, Michimori. I will.’ I wanted to be with him as we were before, to be closer to this embodiment of a great leader’s Majestic Calm, his essence, Pure Tranquillity.
He pushed me back and we stood apart. His eyes changed to a distant black, and his voice became dry and flat. ‘I have ordered Captain Tokikazu not to commit seppuku after my death. Rather, I have ordered him to protect your life.’
‘You honour me, but I—’
‘Go, Kozaishō. Leave me now.’ He turned away, back muscles twitching and tightening.
I wiped away the rest of my tears, put on a neutral face and left.
How bittersweet my vengeance. I had triumphed over an oni, only to perhaps distance my husband.
IV. Vision
Later, Tokikazu and I paused in our shooting practice. The heat penetrated the pavilion, but with the end curtains opened, a whisper of a breeze mitigated the oppressive warmth. The heat had persuaded most archers to return to the monastery’s waterfalls and ponds. I waved the servants away.
After they had left, we were alone, and I observed Tokikazu. He wiped the dampness from his body. Last summer I had been aroused when I had watched him cleanse himself. Now this action had the same effect, but I required only his advice on how to protect my husband, so dear to me.
‘What is it?’ He smiled.
‘I need your advice.’ I looked outside the pavilion to see if anyone lurked. ‘Tokikazu, I am with child.’
‘Sit. What do you need?’ He clutched my shoulders as if I might fall.
I placed a fingertip on his drawn-together eyebrows. ‘I am well. There are plans to leave Rokuhara. You know more about that than I, more than anyone but Michimori and the other Commanders. I have not yet informed him about the child.’
‘Are you happy about it? You look serious. Are you considering . . .?’ He opened his arms.
‘No, not that. Yes, I am . . . content to keep this child if I am able to.’
His arms and his voice dropped. ‘Then what do you require of me?’
‘I need to know if now is the time to tell him or if I should wait.’
‘You protect Michimori. Again. Still.’
‘As is my duty.’
‘Only duty?’
‘No – I have come to love him.’
‘The Gods of Fortune smile on him at every turn.’
‘Perhaps in another time or life . . .’ I lifted my hand to his cheek. I cared for him also.
Tokikazu pulled away as his body stiffened. ‘We both have our duties.’
Had I hurt him? I allowed my hand to fall to my side. ‘Will you assist me?’
We heard a rustling. Tokikazu pulled on his dagger and rushed outside.
In a moment, he returned. ‘Just birds. Kozaishō, you wish to know if now is a convenient or injurious time.’
‘Yes. When can I tell him, “I am carrying your child”? Michimori relies on my observations and suggestions.’
‘Yes, but your concern persists, rather than the jubilation I have seen in my wives.’
‘Military and political matters demand my full attention. You know this.’
I waited and fanned myself. We sipped watered sake and ate rice balls. He gazed at the food, seeming flustered and dispirited. Ants trailed across the pavilion’s grassy floor. Mosquitoes and flies hummed in and out of the open curtains. Moorhens and thrushes pecked at the ground, their dark backs shimmering in the heat.
‘And, yes, Tokikazu, I am pleased. I want to say, “I am carrying your child.”’
A sound behind the pavilion. Like the rustling of cloth. Footsteps.
Our heads turned to the east at the same time.
Tokikazu sped outside, dagger fully opened.
Within a short time, he came back, sweat dribbling. ‘I could see no one.’
‘Why did you not follow?’
‘Fear for your life, Kozaishō. It may have been a trap.’
We exchanged wary looks.
‘I say to you, now is not the time.’
‘Thank you, Tokikazu.’
‘Back to practice, then.’
I sipped the rest of my watered sake and went out into the sweltering sun.
Who had been outside, and what might he have overheard?
I was not yet aware that rumours were already rushing to Michimori.
The first morning after returning to Rokuhara, I walked on to the practice field and heard yelling. It was Michimori – with a savage ferocity I had only overheard in battle. His targets were what alarmed me most: fresh corpses.
That night, I awoke with another vivid dream. I shared it with Michimori.
‘This one you must tell the Council yourself,’ he said.
Never had I spoken directly to them. ‘I cannot. You must present it.’
‘This is yours to share. I have loved you for such a long time, yet . . . yet . . .’ His fingers played with my hair as if with Koto Strings. ‘You and your dreams are a great gift to me and the Taira Clan.’ He stopped abruptly.
I knew he loved me, but he hesitated. He had restrained himself the previous night, and many before. He truly did not trust me. I had no knowledge of the rumours about me or who dispersed them.
He said, ‘The message is extremely clear to me. But, let us see the Dream Diviner bef
ore we go to the Council.’
I agreed: addressing the Council would be a monumental step.
After the Dream Diviner, the Council assembled again in the middle of the night. A kichō was brought close for me to sit behind, as was the custom with court women.
‘Kindly listen to Lady Kozaishō’s dream,’ Michimori requested.
After vehement arguments on each side, the Council agreed to allow me to speak.
I began, hoping my voice did not tremble too much with the honour. I had never spoken to the Council openly. My throat constricted. With difficulty, I articulated my words. I was not sure if they could hear me over the pounding of my chest. My ears surged, like an incoming tide.
I relaxed as I did before I loosened an arrow. I began:
‘A red bird is in a grove of trees, each carefully trimmed. It sits on the topmost branch over the Sacred Mirror, singing a sutra, and wearing the Sacred Jewels, while holding the Sacred Sword in one claw. A white hawk swoops near the red bird. To save its life, the red bird flies away. It carries the Three Sacred Treasures and flies far west until it reaches a wooden nest near the sea. As the red bird settles on a branch, the hawk advances and the red bird flies away again. This time it flies north.’
Most of the meaning was transparent, but the Dream Diviner spoke to the Council after I had finished. He stated that the red bird was the young emperor and the white hawk the retired emperor, Go-Shirakawa. The danger of the latter to the former was clear, but no one could decipher the second attack.
After the Dream Diviner had left, Oak coughed and declared, ‘First we must see to the safety of our emperor. I believe we have sanctuary in the city of Dazaifu in Kyōshō. Let Purple Grass take the emperor and his family with a swift group to the Old Defence Headquarters in Dazaifu. He will be safe there.’
I heard grunts of assent and saw heads nodding in agreement. Purple Grass said, ‘Yes, and a small group moving quickly will be best.’
‘Let Purple Grass beware,’ Michimori warned. ‘Lady Kozaishō’s dream suggests the Fox has long fingers. Do not settle comfortably in Dazaifu. Be ready to flee again.’
‘We will keep runners available continuously between us.’
That evening, I said several sutras for the safety of our emperor and for us.
Commander Purple Grass left within a day, taking the Emperor Antoku, the royal family, the Three Sacred Treasures, and all the provisions they could manage to safety. Exile. Would they ever return?
The Pillow Book of the Flower Samurai Page 37