Dedication
To my friend Red Garnier for being the best cheerleader and always saying just what I need to hear, both the good and the bad. Love you, honey. And to my editor Bethany. Thanks for believing in this story.
Chapter One
“Why don’t you face facts and admit you want her?”
Austin turned, watched carefully as Brad shut the bedroom door behind him, twisting the lock with a quiet click before he leaned against the wood frame.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The skeptical look his friend and occasional lover shot him said he knew better. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Or make that who.”
Austin sat heavily on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes as frustration welled up inside him. It figured Brad would see right through his facade and call him on it. He’d been hiding his feelings for Michaela for months. He’d never done a thing about it yet. He’d been attracted to her since the first day they met.
Because he didn’t think the feeling was mutual. She had written him off as her gay friend and roommate and left it at that. She’d flaunted herself in front of him countless times without even knowing it. Always figuring she was safe because he preferred guys.
Michaela had no clue how tight he kept his control reined in. How close he’d come multiple times to losing it, tearing off her clothes and fucking her senseless. On the couch, the kitchen counter, against the wall. Hell they’d even watched movies together in her bed, snuggled up cozy and tight.
Every moment with her pushed him further and further over the edge.
It had been years since he’d been with a woman, almost just as long since he’d been attracted to one. So why now? Why Michaela?
“You don’t want to tell her?”
Austin opened his eyes and glanced up to find Brad standing before him, a sympathetic expression on his face. This was a man who understood him despite their differences, who realized his complexities and didn’t push. He accepted Austin for who he was and in return, Austin did the same with him.
They’d had a mutual understanding for years, and they both appreciated it. Needed it.
“How can I tell her? She’s not interested.”
“She’s a fool.” Brad knelt in front of him, rested his hands on Austin’s knees, and gazed up into his eyes. “But then again, so are you.”
Austin chuckled. “Thanks.”
“Denying yourself something you want is unhealthy.” Brad reached forward, the tips of his fingers brushing against Austin’s crotch. He reacted, naturally. Already his mind was filled with thoughts of Michaela, and Brad knew how to touch him.
“I don’t deny myself anything. You know this.” He drew in a harsh breath when Brad’s fingers curled around him, stroking his cock through the heavy denim.
“You don’t let yourself have the one thing you want more than anything in the world, which I don’t understand.” Brad smiled knowingly, his brown eyes sparkling with mischief. “And it’s a girl to boot. I don’t get you sometimes.”
“The thing is, Brad, I think you get me better than anyone.”
Brad arched a brow, his fingers moving to the button fly of Austin’s jeans, undoing each snap one by one. “Better than Michaela?”
“She’s close. If Michaela really got me, I think she’d realize what I want.” Her. He wanted her. Yes, he sat here with Brad reaching for his dick but really he wanted Michaela. Imagined it was Michaela’s slim fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking him, drawing her thumb across the head, smearing the pre-come that gathered there.
But it was Brad’s fingers that held him firm, Brad’s thumb that grew sticky with fluid. And then it was Brad who bent his head, wrapped his mouth around the tip of Austin’s cock and drew him in.
A guttural groan escaped them both and Austin leaned back, resting his elbows on the bed. Brad eagerly moved with him, never breaking his stride, his head bobbing up and down on Austin’s cock, his tongue licking, lips sucking, his hand reaching for and squeezing his balls.
It felt good. It felt amazing. Brad had every trick up his sleeve and knew how to use them. Austin closed his eyes, let his imagination run wild.
Michaela kneeling before him, her pretty blonde head dipped over his lap, her lush pink lips wrapped tight around his cock. She would cup his balls in the palm of her hand, her long hair would tickle his thighs and her soft moans would make his entire body stiffen in preparation.
Ah fuck, he could come right now just thinking about it.
Brad anticipated his every move, his mouth tightening, slurping along the entire length of him, up and down as his fingers tugged on Austin’s balls. Jesus, he was fully clothed, his cock thrusting from the open placket of his jeans and in Brad’s mouth and he couldn’t believe he was doing this.
“Fuck me.” Brad released his hold on Austin and leaned back, resting on his haunches. His mouth glistened, his eyes heavy lidded with arousal, and Austin dropped his gaze, saw the unmistakable ridge of Brad’s erection poking against the front of his shorts.
“What?” Austin shook his head, ran his hand through his hair. It had been months since he and Brad had fooled around. He thought Brad had a new someone who he spent time with. Austin had been so hung up on Michaela he hadn’t had sex with anyone for a while, since he and Brad had last been together.
His mind was foggy with pent-up lust and right now he just wanted someone, it didn’t matter who it was. It sounded harsh, but it was true.
“Fuck me, Austin. Take out all your frustrations on me.” Brad’s eyes gleamed and he smiled, predatory and assured. He was always a bottom who liked it particularly hard and rough. Sometimes, Austin gave it to him just as he preferred. “Pretend I’m someone else, I don’t care. Just fuck me.”
“God, Brad, where’s your new boyfriend?” Austin stood and shucked his jeans, ripped his T-shirt off. Brad followed suit, standing and removing his clothing as well until the both of them stood naked, their cocks straining, the scent of male arousal filling the air.
“We split up. Asshole was cheating on me.” Brad shook his head and went to the bedside table where Austin kept a box of condoms. “Here.”
He tossed a wrapped condom to Austin and he tore into it, stroking the condom onto his erect cock, fisting it for one pump, then another. His eyes slid shut, and he held his breath. God, he was close. He was thankful Michaela wasn’t home. That she was at work and had no clue what he was doing. It almost felt like he was cheating on her, being with Brad.
“Come on, big boy.” Austin opened his eyes to find Brad already on the bed on all fours. “I’m ready.”
Austin swallowed hard then approached the bed, his hand wrapped around his cock, his other hand reaching out to stroke Brad’s ass. Brad pushed against Austin’s palm, the low groan emanating from him indicating he was indeed ready. Austin climbed onto the bed and sat up on his knees, wrapping his hands around Brad’s slight hips to position himself.
Brad was small and Austin was six-foot-one and one hundred and eighty pounds. But he was careful and always gentle, he’d been told that many times. He never wanted to cause pain to the ones he was with.
Unless they wanted him to and right now, Brad was practically begging for it.
“Slap my ass, Austin. Spank me.” Brad’s voice was whispery soft, his breathing accelerated, and Austin did as he asked, the smack loud in the quiet of the room.
Brad bucked against Austin’s palm, a little hiss emanating from him. “Do it again.”
Austin did, his palm smarting from the extra hard smack he gave Brad. The red mark on Brad’s flesh aroused him. He couldn’t help it. Made him desperate to get inside and Austin nudged against the crack of Brad’s ass, his aim true.
He penetrated Brad wit
h one sure thrust, knowing that Brad enjoyed the element of rough surprise. It knocked the breath out of Austin, stilled Brad, his head hanging low. The two of them hung there, sweat drenching Austin’s body, his chest expanding with every heavy breath.
“You’re so big,” Brad murmured, shifting his weight, and the movement sent Austin even deeper. The both of them groaned and Austin watched Brad wrap his fingers around his own cock, squeezing tight.
The hot warmth of Brad’s ass clamped snug around him and he closed his eyes, his hands again gripping Brad’s hips. If he concentrated hard enough he could almost imagine what Michaela would feel like when he was inside her. The hot, tight clasp of her pussy, her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands fluttering over him, stroking his back, pushing his ass so that he would surge deeper inside her…
He thrust once, twice, buried deep inside of Brad, reckless in his movements, and Brad encouraged him, yelling at him, his body pushing back just as hard. Their damp skin slapped against each other, Austin’s hips bounced against Brad’s ass, and when his orgasm came upon him, Austin reacted instinctually.
“Fuck yeah, give it to me,” Brad encouraged, fisting his cock, his head thrown back, and Austin groaned, about ready to give him all he had.
Reaching out, he blindly grabbed at Brad’s head, tugging on the hair at the back of his neck, pulling so hard he heard Brad yelp. But he didn’t care. He was beyond caring. His orgasm took over, drained him of everything he had, everything he felt.
And for one brief wild moment, he imagined it was Michaela beneath him, her scent filling his head, her soft cries making him pulse and throb with need.
Michaela pulled her car into her assigned parking spot and cut the engine. She reached for her purse on the passenger seat and paused before grabbing hold of the door handle.
Huh. Another Friday night spent alone, most likely with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and a cheesy cable movie on TV. The thought of that alone made her want to cry.
Her roommate Austin would leave soon if he hadn’t already since he worked every single weekend as a lighting director at a local theatre. She’d never minded his not being around on the weekends but lately, she found it depressing.
Being alone sucked.
Her girlfriends were all married, engaged or firmly attached with the exception of her friend Carly. They were the lone holdouts even though Michaela thought she’d found the man of her dreams, the catch she’d been looking for.
Preston James, investment banker and overachiever extraordinaire. They’d met nine months ago at a cocktail party. He was handsome, hardworking and so wonderful that she’d felt lucky to catch his eye. Charming and polite and intelligent, he’d been the perfect boyfriend.
On paper and on the surface. Beneath the charm and the pretty face and the designer suits was a…well…boring man. A man who lacked passion unless it concerned his career. A man who would rather watch a period drama on pay-per-view while drinking a single glass of white wine on a Saturday night.
Michaela secretly wanted to slam a couple of tequila shots back and watch a porn movie just for kicks. They could start out by making fun of the bad acting but slowly become aroused. Until they couldn’t stand it anymore and had to tear each other’s clothes off so they could fuck like bunnies.
She’d suggested that very idea about a month ago and the look of horror on Preston’s face had told her everything. She’d made a grave mistake, one she couldn’t recover from.
Preston broke up with her less than a week later. Said something like he wanted to focus on his career or some such nonsense. She knew she’d freaked him out over a mere porn reference.
If he only knew what she was secretly interested in, he’d probably have a heart attack.
She climbed out of her car, her gaze catching a slim, familiar man briskly walking away from her apartment building, headed toward the opposite end of the parking lot.
Squinting into the fading sunlight, she held her hand over her eyes, wished she could see his face. She was fairly certain it was Brad, Austin’s sometime boyfriend.
Longing filled her and she pushed it away, much like she slammed her car door, with an aggressive shove. The last thing she needed to mope over was her newfound crush on Austin, her gay roommate.
So very gay and so very gorgeous, she’d noticed him the moment they first met but knew he was unattainable. That’s what made their pairing ideal. He was a friend of a friend who had needed a place to live, and she’d needed a roommate. They’d been together ever since.
And lately, for whatever reason, misfired hormones or maybe plain old loneliness, she found herself attracted to him. Intensely attracted, like she found it hard to contain herself when she was around him, and they were around each other a lot.
It didn’t help that he had a sexual aura that drew her in, drew practically anyone who met him. She’d gone out with him to gay clubs, though that had been a long time ago, when they’d first started living together. The stream of handsome men hitting on him had been endless. Austin would flash that boyish smile and turn them away, swearing he would pay attention to only her that night.
She’d ignored the kick her heart gave at his words, the sizzle of awareness that flushed over her at the look in his eyes, the sincerity on his face. He was sweet, he was kind and yet there was that sexual thing she couldn’t quite put her finger on lying just beneath the surface.
It had been a way too sobering moment seeing Brad leave their apartment. And it was definitely him. She saw him get into his older model Honda and drive out of the parking lot.
She knew why Brad was over at five in the afternoon, she wasn’t stupid. He and Austin had probably fooled around. Restless need welled within her and she imagined walking in on them, catching them naked and touching each other. Their hands stroking, mouths fused, limbs entangled…
What would they do if she did happen upon them together? Would they be embarrassed and stop? Would they continue on and let her watch? Or maybe they would let her join in…
Sweat beaded her brow at the thought of watching them. Or…gulp…being with them. All three of their bodies entwined, mouths fused, cocks in her hands, fingers in her pussy.
Good Lord, it was hot outside. She shifted her thoughts, wondered idly who preferred to be on top, a thought she’d entertained more than once. She had a strong suspicion it was Austin.
God. This was the very last thing she needed to think about.
Michaela hurried up the steps that led to their apartment, her pounding feet making the entire stairwell rattle. She was desperate to get inside, lock herself in her bedroom and change her clothes, maybe throw on a simple tank and cotton shorts and lounge around in bed for the rest of the night.
Pull out her vibrator and have a little one on one session once Austin left for work.
She paused at the door, a frown curling her mouth downward. Yes, it was confirmed. She’d definitely entered into the I’m-a-pitiful-loser realm. Who knew she would get there so fast at the mere age of twenty-five.
The apartment was quiet when Michaela entered and she closed the door, heard the unmistakable sound of the shower running coming from Austin’s bathroom. Probably washing off the scent of sex before he headed to work.
Michaela winced. God. She really needed to stop.
But this was perfect. She could sneak by and lock herself away in her bedroom. He might not even know she was home and she could avoid him, though that normally wasn’t her style.
She really didn’t want to see him after he had had sex with Brad. Just the idea of it kind of freaked her out, why she didn’t know. She’d never been freaked out by it before, and he’d had his share of dates over in the time they’d lived together.
You know why. Because you’re jealous and you wish you were the one having sex with Austin, not Brad.
Yes again, a futile thought on her part. Lusting after a man that wasn’t interested in her or her entire gender. Oh, he’d claimed he was bisexual to her before, more than onc
e and that he’d had a few relationships with other women, but she didn’t believe him. He’d been only with men since they’d met. Had never shown much interest for any woman besides the occasional Victoria’s Secret model, and they didn’t count in her eyes. Babies and senile old ladies thought they were beautiful so, of course, he would too.
She shook her head as she walked down the short hallway, pausing at the open door of Austin’s bedroom. It was clean, though the bed was sort of a mess. Kind of made, kind of not. Like someone—or a couple of someones—had rolled all over it.
Ugh. Yeah, she needed to get moving and quick.
“Hey. I thought I heard you come in.”
Michaela nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Austin’s deep voice. She turned in his direction, grabbed hold of the doorframe for support when she caught sight of him.
He was standing in front of the open bathroom door, steam pouring out of the doorway, his skin and hair damp and only clad in a towel. The towel clung low to his lean hips, revealing acres of skin she would gladly explore with her hands and mouth and tongue.
She swallowed hard, searching for something to say while he stood there, one dark brow cocked, his fingers clutching the side of the towel. It looked ready to slip off. She was tempted to walk up to him and tear it off.
What would he do? Laugh and smack her butt with the end of the towel? Get an erection and jump her bones?
God, she wished.
“I saw Brad.” She swallowed again, noticed a sketchy expression slide over his face. “Did he come over?”
“Uh, yeah, he just stopped by to drop something off. He couldn’t really stay. Why, did you, uh, talk to him?” He looked uncomfortable, and she wondered why.
“No, he didn’t even see me. He was across the parking lot.”
The relief on Austin’s face was clear, and he took a step closer to the bathroom. “Ah yeah, that’s too bad.”
Okay this was weird. “Don’t you think you should dry off? Don’t you need to be at work soon?” She needed to get him away from her and quick.
He smiled, revealing perfectly straight teeth, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Too cute for words. One minute he looked like the boy next door and the next he was a sex god, and she wanted to beg him to fuck her. “Yeah, I do. What are you doing tonight?”
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