by Lea Hart
“Audrey was the first American writer to contact me regarding the women of the YPJ and it was hard to resist her curiosity about the women and what the Kurds are trying to achieve in Northern Syria. I admit to having a soft spot for the rebels and consider their efforts in driving ISIS out of their land a key component in the success that SDF and YPG have experienced.”
“Why is the YPG the only group in Syria that has an interest in defeating ISIS?” Carrick asked. “They’re nothing more than a light-infantry force with limited military equipment, and yet they’ve managed, with the air support of the U.S., to defeat the group and abolish their caliphate.”
“Those are questions that will be asked for years to come,” Burak answered.
The waiter approached, and Carrick ordered a drink and followed Burak’s suggestion and ordered the mezze, which was the Turkish appetizer plate. “I’d love to hear about the conflict from your perspective,” Carrick said as he felt Audrey take his hand. Not wanting to make a big deal of it, he ran his thumb over her soft skin and relished the affectionate gesture silently.
Burak let out a low laugh and shook his head. “I’ll let you get your drink first and try and come up with an abbreviated answer.”
“I haven’t begun to understand the many layers of conflicts and ever-changing alliances and I hope that once I’m done writing the book, I will have at least managed a small grasp on the situation,” Audrey remarked as she looked between the men.
Burak lifted his glass and tilted his head. “There is an often-used hyperbole that roughly translates as, ‘the deck is being reshuffled in the Middle East,’ and it refers to the ever-changing balances of power and alliances. What is true one month is often not the same the following one. It’s my opinion that President Erdoğan is playing a fool’s game by getting involved in Syria’s conflict. Thinking that Syria’s ‘Arab Spring’ would turn out like Lebanon’s was his first mistake and unless he can untangle us from the conflicts we’re engaged in inside Syria’s borders, we’re not only going to have to deal with the West and Russia, but some very pissed off neighbors that sit on our border. The YPG is here to stay and to believe that they’re not going to take advantage of their newfound power is ludicrous. Unfortunately, the president has put himself in an untenable situation and broken all his earlier alliances with the PKK.”
“He bet on the wrong horse and now he’s screwed because he didn’t keep it quiet,” Carrick commented as his drink was delivered.
“Yes,” Burak replied with a laugh. “Erdoğan ‘broke’ the old Turkey when he was elected and promised all kinds of reform and change, and he’s since discovered that shattering an old order is easier than building a new one. When he broke the traditional Turkish foreign policy posture of prudence, he didn’t have the experience to create one that would work with all the many players in the world.”
“How could he?” Audrey asked. “Not only is he trying to safeguard his own country’s interest, but consider how it will play against the West, Russia, and Iran. Add to that ISIS, and there’s no way to come out of it successfully.”
“It will be interesting to see how the fall of Raqqa will change the future for the Kurds,” Carrick added. Their mezze plate was delivered and, just as they were about to begin eating, a beautiful woman walked up to their table. Seeing Burak’s expression, he knew it had to be his wife because the love he felt was etched across his features.
“My love, you made it,” Burak said as he stood and embraced the woman. Turning toward Carrick and Audrey, he said, “I would like to introduce my wife and better half, Dr. Tuba Aksoy.” He put his hand on her stomach and grinned. “And our baby girl who will be joining us in just five short months.”
Audrey stood and stepped over to embrace the couple. “Congratulations.”
Carrick saw how happy the news made Audrey and he wondered if it was something she wanted in her life. They hadn’t touched on the subject and he guessed that they might never, considering what they had would be difficult to manage considering their circumstances. Which suddenly made him feel like a knife was being slid into his gut.
Tuning back into the conversation, he realized they were going to move into the dining room for dinner. He followed the group, and thought about his future, wondering if all his old ideas still held any appeal.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Thursday, October 19th
“Open your eyes,” Carrick instructed.
Not wanting to let him witness her vulnerability, she shook her head and tightened her hold. What had started out as sleeping morning sex had now become something much more intimate, something Audrey wasn’t ready to face.
Connection.
It was more than their bodies that were inside one another, it was his being invading her barriers. Tilting her hips, she squeezed her muscles and tried to get him back on task. “Carrick, please…”
“If you want it, then you’re going to have to open your eyes.”
He started to pull himself out and, before he completely slipped away, she tightened her legs around his waist and opened one eye. “That’s playing dirty.”
“Open the other eye and I’ll give you what you want.”
Deciding he was probably more stubborn than her, she opened her other eye and was immediately greeted with his smug smile. “Why must I look at you?”
Dropping his mouth, he spoke against her lips, “Because I want to see your eyes as we move together; I want to know that you’re not concealing your feelings.”
Lifting her head, she pressed their mouths together so he’d quit talking. The last thing she wanted to do was become vulnerable to this man. Sure, she was human, but he didn’t need to know that. Better he think she was some sort of anomaly and didn’t mistakenly get attached to a man just because they’d been physically intimate.
And attached she was becoming.
What a sap.
They’d been sleeping together for less than five days and she was already feeling more than she had for anyone with whom she’d had a relationship. And they were not even having a “relationship,” but an affair.
“Don’t you fight it, Audrey.”
He moved leisurely in and out—touching her in places that no one ever had…in her body, her soul and, damn him…even her heart. Keeping her mouth shut, she knew the best thing she could do was keep her thoughts to herself. Something she’d always advised her clients was the very thing she was going to do.
Letting out a low laugh, he shook his head as he framed her body with his. “I may not know a lot of things, but I know a woman with a loud mind who remains silent has a lot of shit to share. And you, Audrey, will eventually share it with me. I’m not going to settle for just your body and be satisfied.”
“Carrick, I think it’s best if we…” And that’s when his mouth crashed into hers and he kissed her with heat and possession. Their tongues dueled, and his strong body strained against hers as he drove into her, leaving the gentle lovemaking behind. Each slam of his hips drove his shaft deeper than she ever thought possible and she knew he was claiming her in the only way he could. She wasn’t revealing her feelings, so he did the only thing a warrior would do.
Make it so she’d eventually have no choice.
He plied her body with his and when she eventually gave way to the climax, it was so violent she nearly blacked out.
When she finally returned to some sort of consciousness, he granted himself the same pleasure and let out a low animalistic growl. Fusing their lips, his body shuddered, his hands clutched her hips, and he came with an unrestrained roar, finally collapsing against her.
Several minutes passed and she ran her hand up and down his back leisurely. The weight of him was comforting and she wondered why that had never been true with any other man. The need to spring from the bed and get on with her schedule was absent and instead, she felt an odd sense of calm and peace.
Despite the fact that she didn’t want to get closer, she found herself reluctant to move, to b
reak the connection.
Her mind and heart were warring and she had no idea which was going to win.
Carrick lifted his head and kissed her nose. “I’ve never felt that close to another human being outside of a combat situation. It was as though we were inside one another’s skin or something.”
“Maybe this assignment reminds you of combat because of the potential danger. Maybe we’re like war buddies as we’re becoming oddly bonded by what we’re about to face.”
Rolling off her, he made sure she went with him and pulled the sheet over their bodies. “Possible. I’ve never wanted to know someone the way I do with you and when I feel your barriers go up, it pisses me off.”
Laughing, she patted his chest. “It’s probably nothing more than wanting control.”
“Maybe, but what if it isn’t?”
“It really won’t matter because in about five or six days you’re going back to your life and I’m going back to mine.”
“I wish you’d quit bringing that up.”
Resting her head on his chest, she kept the rest of her comments to herself. Neither of them was interested in a relationship, and even if they were, it’s not like it was possible. Despite the feelings that were starting to develop.
At least for her.
“So, what do we need to do today so we can leave for Syria tomorrow?”
“I see the touchy-feely conversation is over and we’re moving on to practicalities.”
The unmistakable note of frustration in his tone was something she was going to ignore because there was no good answer, and the last thing they needed to be doing was engaging in a circular argument that was going to get them nowhere. “I’ll probably want to touch and feel you one more time before we leave tomorrow, so I’d say we’re just postponing.”
“And I thought I was the master of avoidance; seems to me you might be a bit better at it than me.” He kissed her head and chuckled. “And that’s not a compliment, in case you were wondering.”
“Sticks and stones, Carrick. Doesn’t make a bit of difference to me.”
“Maybe I want it to,” he replied as he pulled her over him and took her mouth. Kissing him back, she noticed that whenever he didn’t like what he heard, he kissed her. Since he was so damn good at it, she resolved not to change her ways for the duration of the trip.
***
Carrick stood next to the entrance of the Kugulu Park Café and kept his eye out for Andrew. His friend and colleague was not only delivering the car and armaments but was also due to join him and Audrey as well as the interpreter that Burak had arranged. “What’s the interpreter’s name again?”
“Asli Kartal. She’s a graduate student and a cousin of his wife’s.” Audrey slid out her phone and then pulled up a picture. “She’s beautiful and, according to Tuba, funny and smart.”
Carrick looked at the picture and nodded. “Andrew better behave himself because the last thing we need is for him pull out his famous charm.”
“Andrew is charming?” she asked as she put her phone back in her bag.
“I know it’s hard to believe that a retired SEAL and PMC can be charming, but it’s true. The guy gets into as much trouble as he gets out of when he uses it and I don’t want him to make Asli uncomfortable.”
“I’m sure he’ll be professional and do nothing of the sort.”
Crossing his arms, he let out a snort. “Yeah, I was nothing but professional until I met you.”
“I’m guessing you don’t consider that a good thing.”
“I haven’t decided yet.” Scanning the area, he saw Andrew walking in their direction. “Here he comes.”
“He’s a good-looking man,” Audrey commented.
Looking down, he frowned. “Really?”
“Not as handsome, smart, or courageous as you, of course.”
“Good answer,” he replied as he put his arm over her shoulder. “You forgot to add fearless.”
Her arm went around his waist and she laughed. “Of course. I bet he can’t hold a candle to you in many areas.”
“Damn straight.” When Andrew got close enough, he tilted his chin in greeting and then watched his friend do the same. The silent communication of the situation complete, he put out his hand when Andrew stepped up to them. “Thanks for meeting us.”
“No problem.” He shook Carrick’s hand and then put his hand out to Audrey. “Andrew Taylor at your service.”
“Audrey Barnes, thank you for coming along.”
“Wouldn’t miss it. According to C-man, we’re in for a couple of interesting days.”
“Did you secure a vehicle for us?” Carrick asked as Audrey’s phone rang.
“I’m going to take this,” she said as she stepped away from the men.
Carrick watched her step over to the pond that faced the restaurant and then turned his attention back to Andrew. “What?”
“Anything you’d like to share with the class?”
“I’m tied up like a damn pretzel over that woman and I have no fucking idea what I’m doing.”
“That’s what I figured based on the fact you had her snugged up against you when I walked up and have this weird happy thing going on.”
“Shit, it’s bad, man.”
“I’d like to offer you some words of wisdom, but I don’t have any. I’ve successfully avoided anything resembling what you seem to be suffering from, so I’ve got nothing.”
“Kind of like that time we were surrounded by hostiles in Ghana a couple of months ago.”
“I had a lot of damn ideas then. Don’t make shit up because you’re…”
“Don’t use the word because there’s no way that small woman scares me in the least.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that for as long as it takes.”
Seeing Audrey finish her call, he motioned his hand across his throat. “Don’t say anything; here she comes.”
“We’re fucking operators; you don’t have to tell me what to do.”
“Not a word,” Carrick huffed out as Audrey approached.
“What did I miss?” she asked as she stood next to Carrick.
“Nothing, babe, just going over logistics. Vehicles, supplies, that sort of thing.”
“Okay. That was Asli and she’s not going to be able to meet us until tomorrow.”
“All right, let’s go get a table then and grab some food and Andrew can fill us in on what he’s heard about the sitch in Syria.”
“Sounds great.” Taking Carrick’s hand, she started walking toward the restaurant.
As he followed, he heard Andrew snickering and flipped him off over his shoulder. Looking down at Audrey’s fine ass, he decided he’d be happy to follow her just about anywhere, and if Andrew thought it was funny, he didn’t much care.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Friday, October 20
Audrey sat next to Asli as they waited for Carrick and Andrew to finish gassing up the car. They were in Aksaray, almost three hours outside of Ankara, and had another seven or eight hours to go before they arrived in Tell-Abyad in Syria.
They were going to cross the border near where the American base was located and meet up with Andrew’s friend who was stationed there. Apparently, it was the best option with the least amount of risk, and she’d happily gone along with the recommendation.
There was no clear policy being enforced by either the Turks or the Kurds at this point and both Carrick and Andrew had decided that staying as close to the American bases as possible would be their best choice.
Looking out the window, she saw Carrick give her a smile and silently sent up a prayer of thanks that he’d been the one available for the assignment. Seven days had passed since the meeting with the publisher, and she found it astonishing that they were actually going to be inside Syria by tonight.
The trip wouldn’t have been possible without Titan and its resources, as well as Carrick’s tenacity. They’d had their tourist visas issued through a travel agency in Turkey late yesterda
y afternoon, and it was only because the office in North Carolina had made it happen.
Waving to Carrick, she felt their connection and decided she wasn’t going to give it another moment’s thought until she returned to New York at the end of the week. All her focus needed to be on making the most of the time she had with the women from the YPJ and not on the ramifications of the liaison she and Carrick were embroiled in.