by June Francis
‘Yes. You’ll have to be careful,’ murmured Rebekah. ‘I mean, it might be best – safer – if we don’t have relations for a while. I’ve heard that you can lose a baby that way.’ She did her best to infuse regret into her voice.
He frowned. ‘Did the doctor say that?’
‘Yes.’ She smiled and deliberately rested a hand on his trousered thigh. ‘I’ll need some money.’
His fair brows rose. ‘For baby clothes? Don’t you think it’s a bit early?’
She opened her eyes wide. ‘For clothes for me, Joshua. I’m going to grow out of everything I’ve got and you don’t want me looking a frump, do you?’
To her surprise Joshua reddened. ‘Of course not. But you won’t go buying them in shops,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’ll have them made. There was a woman my sister used to have call. I’ll find you her address.’ He rose and went over to the walnut dressing table and unlocked a drawer. He came back over to her. She suffered his kiss as he pressed money into her hand and a piece of paper. ‘Treat yourself to something nice, Rebekah. Flowers or chocolates. Some new perfume, perhaps? Anything you like.’
She thanked him, although she considered it no more than her due, and planned to save some of it. She would see Brigid, though, and take her out for a slap up meal where she could tell her all her troubles and hope she did not say: ‘I told you so!’
‘Yer like a bad penny,’ said Brigid in a non-nonsense voice but with eyes suspiciously bright. ‘Yer keep turning up just when I think I’ve got rid of yer.’ With unnecessary briskness she dusted some non-existent crumbs off the damask cloth on the table between them.
‘Hannah said I was a bad penny,’ murmured Rebekah. ‘I think she still has her eye on my aunt’s money.’
Brigid smiled. ‘She didn’t like me arriving bearing news. She’d rather yer’d just vanished from the face of the earth.’
‘I could get a complex,’ said Rebekah, looking up from the menu. ‘Shaun turned up at the farm after I’d written to you. And, of course, you know how he feels about me.’
‘I was wondering when we’d get round to why you’re home. Tell me what happened?’
Rebekah told her everything, including what she had not mentioned in the letter.
Brigid’s expression was severe. ‘Yer’re a right pair of sinners and I don’t know how many “Hail Marys” yer’d have to say to get yerself forgiveness out of all this.’
‘I don’t blame you for saying that,’ sighed Rebekah. ‘Sometimes I wonder if it was really me doing all those things. But I love him and he loved me.’
‘And having said that,’ said Brigid, ‘you think it excuses everything?’
‘No. But I’m paying for my sins.’
Brigid shook her head. ‘I bet.’ She was quiet a moment then said, ‘I find it hard to believe that Daniel would just up and leave yer without a word. Although he had every right to be mad with you for lying through your eye teeth.’
‘I didn’t lie,’ said Rebekah with the smallest of smiles. ‘I just didn’t tell the truth. It was so difficult because Joshua and Daniel hate each other, and we were so happy.’ She leant on one elbow. ‘I’ve thought a lot since being back in Liverpool and wonder now whether Daniel would have come back? Although I can’t stop thinking of how he looked when I told him about being married.’
‘It’s a hard thing for a man to stomach,’ said Brigid. ‘But I’m inclined to think that it’s all down to Shaun, Daniel’s going. They must have left together. Weren’t there any clues?’
‘Clues?’
‘Yes! All the best mysteries have clues. Look at Sherlock Holmes and that new writer, Agatha Christie! What was the last thing that Daniel said to yer about Shaun?’
Rebekah considered. ‘Not much. Something about him still hanging around, and Daniel not wanting to talk to him.’
Brigid’s face brightened. ‘There yer are then! He might not have wanted to go with him, but perhaps he had to. You mentioned the troopers—’
Rebekah put down the menu and was silent for several moments. ‘I have considered that the troopers or the Irregulars captured him, but I don’t like thinking like that. I’d rather he’d just left me than have to start believing all over again that – that he might have been shot by one side or the other.’
Brigid squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t be thinking of any of it. Yer don’t know what’s happened. Maybe yer’ll see him again?’
Rebekah nervously twisted a strand of hair round her finger. ‘I haven’t told you all of it – I’m having a baby.’
There was a brief silence before Brigid said, ‘Well, there’s nothing so surprising about that. Whose do yer think it is?’
‘I’m pretty sure it’s Daniel’s.’
‘I wouldn’t let his lordship hear yer say that.’
Rebekah gave a tight smile. ‘I’m not a complete idiot.’ She picked up the menu. ‘Now what are we going to have to eat? You can have anything your heart desires.’
Brigid’s expression was suddenly upset. ‘Oh, Becky, luv, yer really worry me sometimes! Where will it all end?’
She pulled a face. ‘I don’t know. We’ll just have to hope for the best. What are you having?’
Brigid sighed, ordered roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, and changed the subject to talk about Joe and her family, adding that Patrick had been home, had met a girl in Australia and was talking of settling down there. Rebekah was surprised but pleased and wished him all the luck in the world.
The meeting with Brigid made Rebekah feel more settled and although Daniel was never far from her thoughts and she had a continuous aching regret for what might have been, she looked forward to the baby’s birth.
Two items of news out of Ireland almost destroyed her determination to get on with life as hopefully as possible. These were the reported deaths of Arthur Griffiths from an apoplexy and the shooting of Michael Collins in an ambush. If Daniel had been captured by the troopers and was in prison, there could be reprisals for the death of such a prominent leader as Collins. For days she fretted, but gradually accepted that she was not doing herself or the baby any good.
The months passed slowly and Joshua, who had been irritable at first due to his enforced celibacy, seemed to grow resigned to Rebekah’s unavailability. There were days when he arrived home extremely late but Rebekah asked him no questions. He often talked of ‘my son’ and of the child inheriting Green’s one day.
Just before Christmas the death by firing squad of Liam Mellows, who had been at Four Courts, was reported. His was not the first Irregular’s death Rebekah had read about but it affected her deeply as the baby was moving inside her. She did not want to think of death when life was so precious. She wished so many things could have been different and that she knew definitely what had happened to Daniel. The Civil War dragged on despite the Irish gaols being full to overflowing with prisoners.
The New Year came and went and the pile of tiny garments, that Rebekah and her aunt were making grew to ridiculous proportions as April approached.
‘There won’t be enough days in the week for the poor thing to wear all these,’ said Edwina, when Rebekah showed her the deep drawers full.
Rebekah eased her back. ‘I’m making sure I’m well prepared. I feel so enormous that I’m sure this baby’s twins and they’re playing football.’
Edwina sighed. ‘All mums-to-be feel huge at the end. Have you decided whether to be confined at home or in hospital? More mums are opting for a hospital birth these days – nice and sanitary.’
‘Joshua says home.’ Rebekah grimaced. ‘I’m to have the doctor and a nurse afterwards. I must admit to feeling more than a bit nervous. Is it as painful as they say? Because the doctor says that I can have an injection of scopolamine and morphine if the pains get bad.’
‘Twilight sleep. I’ve read about it in a brochure.’ Edwina sat on the rocking chair and looked up at Rebekah. ‘It’s said to shorten labour and help with the milk.’
‘Then you think it’s wor
th trying?’
Edwina said softly. ‘If things get bad, you’ll beg for it.’
Rebekah paled and put a hand over her swollen stomach. ‘I’ll bear anything as long as he doesn’t die.’
‘Not as many babies do die these days. But you’re sure it’s going to be a boy?’
Rebekah laughed suddenly. ‘Girls don’t play football.’
Edwina smiled. ‘There’ll come a day when nothing will stop us women doing anything we want.’
‘I still think you’re a suffragette at heart,’ said Rebekah, still smiling as she shut the drawer. ‘Come and have a cup of tea.’
Edwina rose from the chair and they went downstairs arm in arm.
Two days later Rebekah went into what she called premature labour and there was no time for twilight sleep. She gave birth to a six pound fourteen ounce son, and a smiling Joshua came into the room as the baby was laid in her arms. ‘Michaels says it’s a boy.’
‘He’s beautiful!’ A sore but not too exhausted Rebekah marvelled as she gazed into the red little face with the screwed up eyes.
‘He’s ugly and dark-haired!’ exclaimed Joshua, his smile fading slightly. ‘I thought he’d be fair – and he hasn’t the Greens’ nose.’
The nurse looked up at him as she folded a towel. ‘I’ve seen babies with hair as dark as dark can be, sir, end up as fair as Goldilocks. First lot of hair often falls out.’
‘I see.’ He sat on the edge of the bed and touched the baby’s cheek. ‘He has blue-grey eyes, though?’
‘Yes. But eyes can change colour.’
‘Good God!’ Joshua stared at the baby. ‘I hope he doesn’t change into a girl,’ he said with deliberate humour.
The nurse smiled condescendingly. ‘Now that would be a miracle! It’s a fine boy you’ve got there.’
‘He’s lovely,’ said Rebekah, her arms tightening protectively about her son, and hiding her expression from Joshua. ‘Thank you, nurse, for everything. And I must thank Doctor Michaels. I didn’t have chance to do so before.’
The nurse smiled. ‘He said you were a woman of good sense. No screeching, and you did as you were told.’
Joshua looked gratified. ‘I should hope no wife of mine would kick up a fuss. But well done, dear.’ He kissed Rebekah’s forehead.’ I’ll leave you with nurse now and go and phone the good news to a few people.’ He added with unaccustomed consideration, ‘If you don’t mind, I might need to go out for a while?’
‘Don’t worry about me,’ said Rebekah cheerfully. ‘I’ll be glad to rest.’
‘Of course.’ He waggled his fingers in her direction before disappearing behind the open door.
Nurse and Rebekah smiled at each other. ‘Best place for husbands, out of the way,’ said the nurse. ‘Now let me take baby and you have your rest.’
Reluctantly Rebekah handed over her child and relaxed against the pillows. Thank God for nurse! But was it true that eyes could change colour? She did not allow the question to plague her. At least she had been safely delivered of Daniel’s son. She wondered what he would do if he knew about his child. For a moment she was sad and then her gaze wanderd to the baby’s crib, and turning over carefully, she was asleep in minutes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Rebekah’s son was christened Adam Joshua David, and as soon as she was fit and Brigid had a day off, she wheeled him in his pram to call on her friend.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ said Brigid, a dreamy expression on her face as she rocked the wide-eyed baby who was sucking his fist.
Rebekah smiled. ‘You’ll have to get one of your own.’
Brigid turned pink. ‘I’ll get married first. What does Joshua think of him?’
‘He’s as proud as punch.’ Rebekah sat in a chair, unbuttoned her blouse and held out her arms for her child. ‘Although he still doesn’t like David’s hair being black. He wants it fair and so it should be fair.’ She began to suckle the baby, looking down at him with a gentle expression on her face.
Brigid sat opposite her. ‘But David has blue eyes. Isn’t he happy with that?’
‘They’re changing colour,’ said Rebekah quietly. ‘They’re going darker.’
‘Oh!’ Brigid looked into the baby’s face. ‘What does he think about that?’
‘He hasn’t said anything.’ She rubbed her cheek against the baby’s downy head.
‘Perhaps he hasn’t noticed?’
‘Nurse remarked on it in front of him.’
Brigid’s face clouded. ‘Do yer think he has any suspicions?’
‘If he has, he’s keeping them to himself for the moment. Just as I kept quiet my suspicions of his going with prostitutes when I was expecting. I discovered some rubber sheaths inside a pair of his socks and he was often out in the evenings. With that sort of woman, he’d be scared of catching something.’
Her friend frowned. ‘He hasn’t been violent, has he?’
‘Raised his hand and his voice.’ Rebekah lifted her head. ‘He doesn’t like the baby crying. Nor does he like me breast feeding. He goes on about me putting David on the bottle but I have nurse on my side.’ A smile lifted her mouth. ‘She says mother’s breast is best and it really embarrasses him.’
‘He’s jealous of yer giving all yer attention to the baby. But as long as he doesn’t suspect that David is Daniel’s.’
Rebekah’s arm tightened about her son. ‘If he attempts to hurt David, I couldn’t stay with him. At the moment I’m resigned to living with him, but there might come a time—’
‘Well, yer know what to do if things get tough.’
Rebekah’s eyes softened. ‘I’m a real trial to you, aren’t I, love?’
‘Yer a right nuisance,’ said Brigid in a gruff voice. ‘I’ll make us a cup of tea.’
Rebekah smiled and no more was said on the subject of Joshua.
David thrived and Rebekah did most things for him except his washing. She found caring for him a joy, but worried when Joshua played with him. Sometimes her husband would pick David up, gaze into his face, then toss him into the air. She would hold her breath and start forward because he did not put out his arms to catch the child until he almost reached the ground. Twice she spoke to Joshua sharply and he turned on her. ‘Do you think I would drop my own son?’
‘No,’ she said quietly, conscious of the aggression in his voice.
Often Rebekah was aware of Joshua’s eyes on her when she was nursing the baby, and she tensed, waiting for him to make some comment but he never did and she could only feel relief when he took himself off somewhere. The weeks passed and she was as happy as she ever could be parted from Daniel.
It was one May day when Rebekah had been to visit Brigid and was walking home, that Mr McIntyre called to her, waving a newspaper: ‘The Civil War’s over!’
A smile spread over her face. ‘That’s good news.’
‘Well, everything’s been going to pieces, hasn’t it?’ He leant on the gate. ‘They’ll have to sort something workable out.’
Rebekah thought of Daniel. ‘Peace in Ireland,’ she murmured. ‘It seems almost unbelievable.’
‘Aye, well, people can’t be fighting forever.’ He grinned. ‘Are you coming in for a cup of tea?’
‘Thanks but I better hadn’t. I want to call in on my aunt and then I’ll have to rush home. I’ve been out all afternoon.’
He looked disappointed. ‘Perhaps next time?’
‘Yes.’ She waved her hand and went on her way.
Esther was pleased to see her and the baby. ‘Where’s my precious little boy?’ she cooed over the pram. ‘Can I have a hold of him?’
‘Your precious little boy is wet,’ said Rebekah promptly. ‘I’ll have to change him.’
For a moment her aunt’s face showed distaste then she smiled. ‘He can’t help it, the little love. I’ll get Hannah to make us a cup of tea. Then I want to talk to thee, Rebekah.’
She looked at her aunt, wondering what Hannah had been up to this time, but Esther’s conversation
had nothing to do with the maid.
‘I’ve made a will, Rebekah, and I’m leaving all my money to your son. I know thee must be wondering why I haven’t left it to thee, but—’ Her aunt paused and her mouth tightened. ‘I’m not the fool thy husband thinks me. I’m not chancing him getting his hands on it – which he might if I left it to thee. I’ve tied it up so he won’t be able to touch it.’
‘Good for you, Aunt Esther!’ Rebekah could not be annoyed with her, although expectations of her aunt’s money had occasionally figured in her own plans. She balanced her half-naked son on her hip, rose from her seat and kissed her aunt. ‘You can’t realise how happy it makes me. At least he’ll be secure.’
Esther flushed and said unsteadily, ‘Thou might have thy faults, Rebekah, but I’ve watched thee and thou loves the baby and hast the makings of a good mother. Even Hannah has admitted that and she knows about such things. Sarah would have been proud of thee. If only Papa had lived to see this great-grandson of his, he too would have been proud.’
Rebekah did not know what to say, so kissed her aunt again.
She was smiling when she left the house but as she neared the park her expression became sombre. She dreaded facing Joshua. He had started pawing her in bed but she had continued to bind herself underneath, telling him that the bleeding after the birth had not stopped. Surely it would not be long before he realised that she was pretending?
His car was in front of the house but Janet opened the door. ‘Mr Green’s upstairs,’ she answered in response to Rebekah’s question.
‘Is he in a good mood,’ she whispered.
‘The cat’s in hiding,’ muttered Janet. ‘That says something.’
Rebekah grimaced. ‘Where’s Nurse?’
‘Gone,’ said Janet succinctly.
‘Gone where?’
‘Gone for good.’ Janet jerked her head upwards. ‘The master told her to pack her bags and paid her off.’
Rebekah felt a sudden chill. David whimpered. ‘Has my husband mentioned anything happening to one of his ships?’