by Rachel Jonas
“You’re thinking about Liam?” she asked, managing to sound slightly less irritated than before.
I shook my head. “No,” I lied. That wasn’t true because I was sort of always thinking about him, but that wasn’t what had me preoccupied.
“Then what is it?”
My lip ached as I gnawed it, trying to put into words how I felt. Hilda was hard, tough. That made it difficult to share my thoughts with her when they were steeped in emotion. I always wondered if, to her, I sounded like some sniveling brat who’d replaced the niece she once knew, and from what I heard, revered. You’d never guess it by how she spoke to me now. How she looked at me now.
At the thought, I observed those dark eyes glaring.
“It’s nothing,” I quickly replied, deciding to keep my thoughts to myself. The last thing I needed was her thinking I was weaker than she already did.
When I lowered my gaze to the book again, I gasped as it was snatched right from beneath my nose. No, she hadn’t reached to take it; she used magic, bringing it right to the edge of the table as she stared at me intently. So intently I wondered if she read my thoughts, but then remembered she couldn’t even if she tried. Being immune to magic was about the only thing I’d gotten right.
“You were always difficult. Even before.”
I was pretty sure she almost smiled.
Almost.
“Your head needs to be clear,” she sighed. “So … clear it. Tell me what’s wrong so we can move on.”
See? Never sugarcoats a freakin’ thing.
I leaned away from the table and just spit it out.
“I’m not ready to go back.” Before she could tell me to suck it up because I had no choice, I spoke again. “I know it’s already been decided, and I know there’s nothing I can do to change it, but that doesn’t stop me from dreading being in Seaton Falls again.”
Those dark eyes of hers were unfeeling, like she’d never had an emotion course through her veins a single day of her life. But I knew that wasn’t true. Once or twice, her heart had shown through, although I believed the reveal was in error. Still, even through her toughness, I knew she cared at least a little. If only because we were family.
“You’re right; it has been decided,” she began. “However … I can understand why this might be difficult.”
She glanced toward the wooden box Elise kept on the credenza and I think we both thought of what that box held—the souls of my brothers, more family I had and lost. More family I couldn’t remember.
I had a thought and, in my absentmindedness, blurted it while I zoned out. “Can magic restore a person’s memories?”
I glanced toward Hilda again when she snickered. “On most, yes, but you’ve got a clever way of being immune to magic, so …”
I breathed deep. “I know. I was just wondering if it was possible.”
She studied my face, but said nothing for several seconds. She did that a lot. Stared wordlessly, analyzing me.
“Have you ever asked yourself if maybe it’s a blessing your mind is a clean slate?”
The question caught me by surprise and my brow twitched. “Why would I? If I could remember who I was, if I could remember Liam, or Elise … it’d make things so much simpler.”
“You’ve named the good things,” Hilda replied. “Of course, those would be helpful, but what about the rest?”
She made me think long and hard about that one. I recalled the story Liam shared of the day I died. Would I want to remember being ripped apart by the beast that came for me?
My gaze met Hilda’s again. “I mean, I know there were bad things, too, but … wasn’t I happy? Wouldn’t I want to remember my brothers? My father? All the memories I shared with Liam?”
Hilda’s brow lifted a bit as she shrugged. “I suppose,” was her lackadaisical response. “But … has it not been exciting to … claim your true soulmate twice?”
She did this bouncy thing with her eyebrows that made me laugh, hinting at a physical connection Liam and I had yet to reestablish. She could assume what she wanted, but the question did make me think on all the stolen moments he and I managed to carve out in our day, how it felt to be held by him, protected by him.
Kissed by him.
The love between us felt new to me, but I had a feeling it would always feel just as exciting, just as necessary, as it did right now.
“Besides,” Hilda chimed in again, causing thoughts of Liam to scatter at the sound of her voice. “You’ve been given something only a handful of others were granted—a second chance.”
My head tilted. “Only a handful?” I couldn’t imagine why more hadn’t taken advantage of something so useful, so convenient. My guess was something else Elise had shared. For me to return, because she only had the help of one witch, she could only restart my life from the beginning. I’m me, but without any knowledge of my past life. But to do what Hilda and I have set out to do, bringing back my brothers … a spell like that required at least two.
Hilda relaxed in her seat a bit when she let out a breath. “The kind of magic your mother and I used to bring you back, the kind you and I have been studying for weeks to do the same for your brothers,” she began, “it’s forbidden.”
My heart sank as I listened.
She saw my surprise and veered off topic for a moment. “Didn’t your mother share this with you? Share what she risked bringing you back?”
I shook my head. “No. She wasn’t exactly open about it because the Council—”
With the wave of a hand, Hilda scoffed and interrupted. “Of course. The Council,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. “Well, she may have sworn her allegiance to them, but I certainly have not.” Crossing her legs beneath the table, she situated her long, heavy skirt of expensive, purple fabric over her knee before going on.
“Resurrection spells were forbidden centuries ago. In fact, there are witches planted all over the globe charged with one task only: detecting the use of ‘restorative magic’. Anyone found guilty will suffer a fate worse than death.”
I frowned. “What’s worse than death?”
Hilda’s eyes met mine and I took note of the grave expression she wore. “Being captured by the Sovereign, forced to do his bidding until he feels you’ve atoned for your transgression … and then he ends your life. A gruesome, painful death too despicable to speak of.”
Every time someone mentioned this man it gave me chills, made my skin crawl.
“That’s why she, your mother, waited so long to bring you back. Not because she feared losing her own life, but because she knew I was the only one who’d ever even think about helping her, and she thought it too great a favor to ask.”
I stared when she smiled. “And … it was, but … I suppose we all do stupid things for family,” she added.
I smiled back, noting this as one of those rare moments she didn’t remind me so much of a statue.
Newton’s third law—for every action there is a reaction. This was the analogy Elise used when explaining why she didn’t rush to bring me back. She knew saving my life could potentially end Hilda’s.
And yet both were brave enough to go through with it anyway.
“So … if you and I get caught …?”
Hilda laughed out loud this time—a booming sound I think I’d only heard once before. “Your mother would never think of putting your life in danger. Before we began the spell to reincarnate you, I received a blessing from one of the Oracles—a chief member of the High Council,” she explained. “I was owed a favor and I figured this was as good a reason as any.”
Reaching for a thick gold chain around her neck, one that rested beneath the vile of lycan blood she kept on hand, she revealed a large, gold pendant. The symbol reminded me of a flower, but definitely wasn’t one.
“This,” she went on, “it hides me from the Sovereign’s witches, the ones all over the world hunting for those who dare to resurrect the soul of a deceased supernatural being. With it,” she added, “you and I are
completely safe, free from that devil’s ever-watchful eyes.” A look of disgust filled her expression at the mention of him.
I had another question, one Elise refused to answer because of her vow to the Council. However, Hilda made it abundantly clear she, herself, was not bound by any oath. So, I just asked it. The worse she could do was tell me to mind my business and shove the spell book back in my face.
“What made Elise bring me back when she did? I know there’s more to it than just her hope that I’ll one day serve as queen, but … I’m still confused.”
A hard look came my way, one I couldn’t read. “She really didn’t tell you much, did she?”
Feeling like a naïve little kid, I shook my head. “No.”
There was a long pause. Long enough I thought Hilda had decided not to explain.
“The oracles again,” she sighed. “Only this time, they reached out to me, after two of the three shared the same vision. They saw a great war, one where much blood will be shed, but, luckily, it was afar off—decades,” she added. “Enough time to prepare as much as we’re able.”
“So, it is just about me serving as queen.” My stomach turned at the thought of it, taking such a weighty position, one that never appealed to me.
“It is,” she answered. “…Because they saw you.”
My brow tensed again. What did she mean ‘they saw me’?
I knew there was a prophecy about the war, knew I’d been brought back to be queen should the clans succeed in bringing down the Sovereign, but … I had no idea that I, specifically, was part of this prophecy.
“It was that vision of you reigning that made the Oracle agree to this blessing,” she explained, touching the large, gold pendant again. “It was the reason I agreed to help Elise. All prophecies are provisional.”
“Provisional?”
She nodded. “Yes. They are never etched in stone. The actions, or inactions, of others can directly affect them. For instance, the vision of you reigning pointed toward you being queen as long as you’re alive, present when the opportunity presents itself. However, if you were not, if you are not … then the position would go to someone else,” she explained. “Your mother and I simply decided to do our part in ensuring things were in alignment when the time comes.”
“As long as I manage not to get myself killed, that is.” When I smiled so did Hilda.
“I suppose that part is up to you.”
“Duly noted.”
The large book was shoved at me again. “And now, you study.”
Running my hand over the brown, leather cover worn on the edges, my fingertips grazed a gold emblem at its center, one that matched Hilda’s pendant.
Lifting my eyes to her, realizing how much thought and effort had gone into bringing me back, how much had gone into seeing to it that I sat here today, I nodded.
“And now, I study.”
—Chapter Five—
Evie
The two weeks the Council gave us to prepare came and went quickly. It was time. Today was the day we’d all be moving back to Seaton Falls.
Beth stuffed the last item from her drawer into the navy-blue suitcase resting on top of her bed. Forcing it shut, she tugged the zipper closed before perching both hands on her hips.
“I think that’s everything,” she sighed, taking a look around the room we shared for nearly six months.
She, too, had mixed feelings about leaving. While, yes, she missed her family, she’d also gotten close to Errol—an easy on the eyes lycan she met when we first arrived. As luck would have it, he lived in Maine—quite a long way from Michigan.
As I watched Beth now, I found her expression hard to read. Not that this was unusual for her, I guess I just expected a stronger display of emotion, considering.
“You okay?” I asked, hoping to get a feel for what was going through her head.
She lifted her eyes to meet mine, smiling a bit. The weary kind.
“I’m cool,” she sighed.
I set aside the small box of books I’d brought with me and went to her. Standing closer, she wasn’t able to hide her feelings like before. That twinge of sadness I expected to see was definitely present. Even if not as strong as I would have imagined. But she was a tough girl. One of the toughest I’d ever known.
My hand went to her shoulder. “We’ll take a road trip to Maine as soon as the weather breaks,” I promised.
Another smile, but her response surprised me. “Appreciate it, but it’s probably best to just … let go.”
My brow tensed when I frowned. These two had been inseparable for months, and now she seemed so indifferent.
Seemed being the operative word.
“You don’t want to keep in touch with him?”
She shrugged. “I guess I always knew it couldn’t last forever. You know … like more of a ‘for now’ thing than a ‘forever’ thing. Our clans are so far apart and neither of us have plans to leave them. Just doesn’t seem to be written in the stars,” she reasoned.
She was so levelheaded. Always. Most girls would’ve been a crying mess, covered in tears and snot, but not my best friend. Nope. Beth was a rock.
“So … ready for another round at Seaton Prep?”
At her words, images of plaid skirts and crested blazers were all I could think of. Those uniforms were a step up from the ones we were given here, but that didn’t mean I was particularly fond of wearing either one.
“Let’s just say I’m glad we only have a few months left until graduation,” I said with a smile, one that faded quickly.
Graduation … another milestone my parents would miss.
She must’ve seen something in my expression because, the next moment, hers became solemn. “How are you doing with everything?”
My answer came quickly because there was only one response to give. “I’m dealing.”
To be honest, I’d become kind of numb to it all, choosing not to feel anything just to block out the negativity. I expected Beth, and everyone else, to be watchful over me today. She knew all my secrets. Everything, including the symbolic loss of my parents. Yes, they were still living, but all ties we had with one another were dead. She knew about my past, who I really was—the eventual queen of the lycans should things go according to plan.
Not my plan, but … a plan. Someone’s.
It was also no longer a secret between us that Elise was my birth mother and that it’d initially been a struggle forgiving her for sending me away. Although that had changed—my struggle to forgive—I still felt orphaned most of the time. Like I kind of manifested out of thin air, like I came from nowhere.
“Looking forward to shacking with Liam?” Beth asked with a cheeky grin, bouncing her eyebrows suggestively. I was actually surprised she even made a joke about him. After finding out his history, that she’d read about him in books while growing up, he was somewhat of an idol to her. Someone she held the utmost respect for.
“It’s not like that,” I said, feeling heat spread through my cheeks. I’ve got my own room and he has his.”
My response had Beth eyeing me as I crossed the room to secure my last bag.
“Separate bedrooms or not, dude, you’re still kinda … married, or mated, or whatever you want to call it.” She paused and shook her head. “I mean, I know you’re technically much older than eighteen, but that’s gotta be kinda heavy.”
I could see how she would think that, but she didn’t know what I knew. Didn’t feel what I felt. Liam completed me. No, not in some desperate-girl-who-can’t-function-without-a-guy sort of way. He was my missing piece. My other half. And besides, he hadn’t pressured me to act like his wife in any traditional sense of the word. If anything, he’d taken somewhat of an old-school approach to our relationship. Courting—that’s the word that came to mind whenever I tried to define it. He’d never been anything but a gentleman, and the one time I tried to move things along quicker, he was the one who pumped the brakes, slowing me down before I did something I might regret
the next morning.
Although … I doubted I would.
Without realizing it, Beth had been watching the whole time I ran through my analysis of what Liam and I had grown into. I guessed I was smiling, because now she was, too.
“You two are the real deal, huh?” she asked as I became content with her being able to see right through me.
I caught a glimpse of the band on my wrist as I reached for my hoodie, slipping it on while answering. “As real as it gets.”
I meant that from the bottom of my heart. There was no doubt in my mind that what Liam and I shared was unlike anything anyone else had ever experienced. Our souls were inseparable. How I ever thought I’d fight it was beyond me.
We were inevitable.
“I hope I find that one day,” Beth confessed, surprising me with such sentimental words.
“It’ll happen.”
A casual shrug was her only response. Not words to indicate whether she agreed or disagreed with me.
I perked up seeing her grab something that didn’t belong to her—a laptop bag with Roz’s name stitched on it amidst hand-sewn patches of planets and stars. Per her father’s request, she was bringing a few of her cousin’s belongings despite them not exactly being close.
Actually, they kind of hated each other.
“Has your family heard from her? Roz, I mean?”
Beth looked up when I asked and, of course, her face told it all. She said several times these past two weeks that the facility disbanding was on Roz, her fault as much as it was Nick’s. Now, she resented the idea of being her gofer.
Another indifferent shrug came before a blunt response. “Don’t know. Don’t care. I just grabbed her things like I was asked to do. As soon as we’re back in Seaton Falls, I’m dumping this trash right on her dad’s porch and being done with it.”
There was always so much animosity between the two. Not that I was Team Roz or anything, but she seemed okay. When she wasn’t giving me the stink eye for talking to Nick, that is.