by Rachel Jonas
Her—sickness.
Me—guilt.
Holding the flap of the tent, I watched Roz ease inside. She just about collapsed on her sleeping bag the second she reached it. I glanced back at the log I just stood from, and then at the frail girl who could barely walk on her own.
I abandoned the log and laid beside my friend.
I wasn’t cold, so only rested on top of my pallet right beside Roz’s. I was wide awake and felt fine, but didn’t want her to be alone. Would she have minded the solitude? Probably not, but still. My presence was about the only thing I had to offer.
“Everything hurts,” she moaned.
I turned toward her, resting on my side now as I took note of her labored breathing.
“I thought we were invincible.” This time, I was pretty sure she meant it as a joke, but there was little to no inflection to her voice. I guessed it would’ve taken too much energy.
“Is there anything I can do?” It seemed like a silly question, seeing as how she knew resources were limited.
Her brown hair shifted when she shook her head. “No,” she sighed. “I just wanna lie here.”
She reached to cover her shoulder when a breeze penetrated the thin material of the tent. But I beat her to it, pulling the edge of the sleeping bag to her neck. Only, my hand didn’t move. I left it lingering there on her arm long after I should’ve moved it. She was completely still, like she wasn’t even breathing anymore as the contact seemed to resonate with us both. Reluctantly, I pulled away, folding my arms across my chest.
“You, uh … you think it’s the flu?” I stammered, hoping she didn’t read too much into that last gesture—me touching her for too long.
“Maybe,” she shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve got a fever, though.”
I started to touch her forehead, but thought better of it. It was probably for the best that I kept my hands to myself.
“Just get some rest,” I suggested. That was always my mom’s solution when I didn’t feel well, and it seemed to help.
Roz nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay, but don’t let me sleep all day. I hate that because it throws off my schedule.”
Smiling a bit, I agreed. Seemed silly to worry about keeping to a schedule out here in the middle of nowhere.
“I’ll wake you in a couple hours,” I promised.
With that, she settled her head against the bundle of clothes that took the place of a pillow, and I watched over her while she slept.
Well … for half an hour, at least.
The moment she started snoring, I took off, leaving our camp to prove something to myself.
That I’m not a terrible person.
That I was still capable of making good decisions.
That I still knew right from wrong.
The trek out of the woods was only easy because of my abilities. I was quicker on my feet than the average person, able to leap over fallen trees and stray stones instead of tripping over them.
The clean lines of rooftops came into view quicker than expected, but I was glad for it. The faster I could do this, the sooner I could get back to Roz. If she woke up to find that I’d left, she might panic, and in her condition, she didn’t need to get worked up about anything. So, the plan was to get into town, do what I had to do, and then get back.
I caught the eye of every local I passed. They stared like I was some feral caveman who’d just emerged from the woods.
Actually … I could totally see why they’d think that.
I wasn’t filthy, but definitely looked like I’d been sleeping outdoors for some time. My hair was a mess and I hadn’t shaved since we left the motel. Bypassing their dirty looks, I thanked my lucky stars this town was stuck in the dark ages when not everyone had cell phones and tablets for communication. It meant some still used payphones, and I was glad for it.
Holding the receiver to my ear, I panted while searching my pockets for change I knew I wouldn’t find there. If I’d overthought this trip, I probably wouldn’t have made it, which was why, when the thought hit me, I just left—not worrying about the fact that Roz shouldn’t be alone, not worrying about the fact that I had zero money.
I just needed to get here.
“Here you go, son,” A white-haired man said as he dropped fifty cents into my palm. He must have seen me tugging at my empty pockets.
“Thank you, sir,” I barely got out, scrambling to get the change into the machine. Then, I dialed a number from memory, one I only knew because, as a firefighter, Richie was all about safety and had stuck a magnet to the fridge years ago. Apparently, it stuck with me.
“Seaton Falls Police Department,” the woman answered.
Bracing an arm against the ridge of the rectangular phone box, I breathed wildly, praying this was the right thing to do.
“Officer Chadwick, please.”
God, please let him be available.
I had no other number to reach him. No more money to try again.
“May I ask who’s calling?”
“Nicholas Stokes.”
When the woman said nothing, I got the distinct feeling she knew exactly who I was, which meant she was likely a lycan and had heard of the things I’d done. The Council made it a point to place lycans in high places should there ever be a need for a cover up or to protect our secret. My grandfather’s journals went into great detail about it. The lycan government was far more organized, ran far deeper than anyone might have thought.
“One moment, please,” the woman said, her tone short and cold this time.
At least I knew my name was at least as tarnished as I already believed.
“Yes? Hello?” Officer Chadwick answered in a rush. It became abundantly clear he’d been on edge since his daughter went missing. I was sure hearing from me made him assume the worst—that something had happened to Roz and she was unable to call.
I guess that kind of was the case.
“Is she okay?” was the next question that flew from his mouth, letting me know I assumed right.
“She is,” I blurted, forcing myself to be a man despite how easy it would have been to cower, to slink back into the woods and hide from the world. Hide from him. Hide from my problems.
Only … I couldn’t.
Because this wasn’t about me.
“Roz doesn’t know I’m calling you,” I shared. “She’d probably kill me if she knew, actually.”
There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line as Officer Chadwick’s mood shifted from concerned to angry. Most likely just at the sound of my voice—the kid responsible for his daughter running off without so much as an explanation as to why.
The best course of action was to get straight to my point.
“She needs to be home,” I forced out.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” he scoffed. “Only, she seems to be under the impression that she can’t come home because of your mess.”
That stung a bit, hearing those bitter words slide off his tongue, knowing I could never make this right. Probably not with anyone.
I bridled the guilt that crept in and stayed the course. “I know you want her back in Seaton Falls and I want to help.”
Silence.
Several seconds later, Officer Chadwick’s voice returned to the line and he seemed calmer now, less ready to rip my head from my shoulders.
“What’s your plan?”
I closed my eyes and breathed deep. “I was thinking that, if you get her a ticket, I can make sure she gets to the bus.”
I heard his computer boot in the background.
“I’ll need to know where you are, so I can access the nearest bus station online.” He mashed keys on his keyboard quickly as I assumed he was logging in. “And you really think you can get her to come back.”
My chest throbbed when I thought of what it might cost me to convince her, but it had to be done. She needed a doctor. She needed her bed. She needed her dad. I simply couldn’t take care of her the way she needed to
be. Especially while she was so sick.
“I’m sure,” I sighed.
He typed some more, and I prepared my mind to give him our location—the one thing that had kept me from being tossed back in a cell … or worse.
“So,” Officer Chadwick went on. “Where are you two?”
I breathed deep and gave him the name of the town. “Brandonburg, Louisiana.”
He typed at light speed again, not saying a word as he searched for the station, I guessed. There was more to this, the hardest part, but it took a moment to get up the nerve to say it. However, I had to. It was the only way I could guarantee Roz would go.
So, as quickly as I could, before my nerves got the best of me, I blurted it. “Sir … please make that … two tickets. The only way Roz will go home is if I go back, too.”
He was quiet and I knew it had nothing to do with not wanting to cover my fare. If I had to guess, he knew only trouble awaited me if I went back to Seaton Falls.
Which also meant he most likely knew I wouldn’t have done this for just anyone.
His daughter was important to me.
“Consider it done,” he finally stated.
And … just like that, I sealed my own fate.
—Chapter Nine—
Evie
Hilda huffed when I slammed her book shut and raced downstairs to answer the door. Today, the others returned to Seaton Prep. Meanwhile, I sat cooped up in Hilda’s study where the most success I had all day was making one of the rings glow a strange shade of green before giving myself the world’s worst migraine.
Needless to say, I couldn’t get to the door quickly enough, looking forward to hearing how Beth’s day had gone. Seeing as how mine wasn’t exactly exciting.
“Hey!”
She seemed surprised I was so happy to see her. Especially when I took her wrist and snatched her inside. Her attention was only on my odd behavior for a moment, though. As soon as she stepped foot in the foyer, her mouth fell open at the sight of this place.
An awestricken, “Wow, ” echoed in the wide-open space.
I closed and locked the door behind her.
“My sentiments exactly,” I replied, still not over the fact that this was, technically, my house. A dozen people could have easily lived comfortably in a place this size, which meant the five of us barely took up any space in it.
“So, how was it?” I asked, referring to her return to school.
She shrugged, and it wasn’t lost on me that she bore that ‘I could take it or leave it’ expression of hers.
“Mostly everyone I’m cool with was at Damascus, too, so that made for somewhat of a lackluster homecoming.” After speaking, she eased her backpack off her shoulders and placed a set of keys in the side pocket.
“I see somebody is back on four wheels,” I said with a smile.
“Parents didn’t have much of a choice, seeing as how Roz is still M.I.A. It was either give the car back or drive me around everywhere. And that wasn’t happening, so …”
She concluded with another shrug.
I’d been trying to steer clear of anything that might remind me of Nick these days—like now, as I acknowledged how Beth’s parents’ decision related to Roz, related to Nick. When I did think of him, it always resulted in anger and the urge to burst into flames again, letting my dragon spring forth. I fought the feeling even now.
“So, we wolfing out, or what?” Beth asked with a smile, glancing at the time on her phone. “We should start sooner rather than later so we have a chance to chill before training tonight.”
I’d hoped we would ease into this whole … wolf thing. To be honest, I wasn’t ready. I had no idea what it would feel like and I’d just gotten the hang of accepting my dragon … now this.
I faked a smile. “Sure.”
Before giving me a chance to back out, like I fully intended to as soon as I found the words, Beth grabbed my hand. She led me toward the back door, headed for the woods, I imagined.
“Have fun and keep the barking to a minimum. I’m trying to catch a nap.” Liam’s voice inside my head was a welcome surprise—lingering sarcasm and all.
“Ha-ha, funny guy. Don’t forget … I do bite,” I replied, traipsing behind Beth as we bounded through the kitchen on our way.
“I seem to recall you being the one who liked to be bitten, but I think I could get into it.” As usual, his words brought heat to my neck and face. With Beth so close, I could only hope there wasn’t redness to match.
“On that note, I’m out.” I tried not to grin as I forced him back into his own head space, thinking of lying beside him while he rested. Actually, I could think of a million things I’d rather be doing besides this. Yes, I wanted to see and hang out with Beth, but I would’ve preferred chatting over mugs of hot chocolate.
It’s true what Liam said, I did prefer my dragon form to my wolf. But both were me, half of the same whole.
“Ok, so I’m guessing that, by now, you know we can’t shift with our clothes on,” Beth announced, reminding me of yet another reason I hated this.
I gave a tense nod and she smiled.
“You’ll be warm,” she promised.
I hadn’t even thought about the eight inches of snow the storm dumped on us the other day. Being cold wasn’t an issue.
“We probably shouldn’t do this right near the house,” she laughed. “I don’t know about you, but the fewer people who see me naked today, the better.”
I agreed, and we ventured toward an old shed that looked like it’d been here since the beginning of time. Today, it sat empty with Liam’s truck parked in front of it. Out of view of anyone in the house who might be near a window, Beth gripped the lapel of her Seaton Prep blazer and I went for my shoes first. Soon, our clothes were in a heap, resting on a table we cleared of snow.
I breathed deep, watching it thicken in the frigid air. Using my arms and hands, I covered my important parts to make this … mmm … marginally less weird. Beth did the same. My skin was only dotted with goosebumps for a moment, because as soon as I was able to call my dragon forward, I used the technique Liam had shown me before flying to warm myself. My veins glowed orange and it was like standing in front of a fireplace.
“Okay, first things first. Today, let’s look at shifting as an incentive for not standing in front of your best friend naked, so the sooner we get this party started, the better,” she joked, dispelling some of the awkward energy that crept in when the last of our garments came off.
“Agreed.”
“Good. So, I’ll shift first, so you can see what the transformation is like, and then you give it a try.”
I nodded before holding my breath.
Here goes nothing …
Beth dropped to all fours and bursts of air puffed from her nostrils. At first it looked like she was simply resting there, but then … her spine thickened, and the notches of bone began to grow larger beneath her skin.
I stepped back at the sight of it.
At the sight of my friend morphing into a beast.
At the realization that … I was next.
She was always small to me—my own above average height making her seem even smaller. But now, her slight hands and feet grew as the shifting bone made them into something else altogether. Where there were once nails, there were now claws.
Another step back.
Joints twisted and turned, forcing her limbs out of place as she gritted through it all. I had to imagine it was painful, but she didn’t make a sound. Blondish-brown fur began to cover her and the small figure that I once observed on the ground was now a massive wolf that made me shudder. I’d seen Nick and his brothers as wolves, but hadn’t gotten the chance to watch them transition from men.
Her underbelly moved rapidly with each breath she took, and I had no words. Gleaming, yellow eyes stared back at me, and when she dipped her nose with a nod, I knew she was saying it was my turn.
I blinked at her, unsure of where to even start. I imagined it couldn
’t have been much different from accessing my dragon, so I gave it a try.
Closing my eyes, I focused on the dormant primal side where I always found my dragon. Only, this time, I was looking for the wolf. I breathed deep, trying to sense her.
A few days ago, Hilda suggested part of the reason I felt inadequate was because I was inadequate. Essentially, she stated that I felt like I was only half of a whole because I kept the other half locked away. Thinking about it that night, I called Beth. She was the only wolf I trusted to help me, and I didn’t want to let either one of us down.
I searched the darkness, still only sensing my dragon. She was powerful. Perhaps so powerful she overshadowed the wolf. That’s when it dawned on me that, while accessing her abilities to keep warm, I may not be able to tap into my other abilities.
So … I had to let her retreat, feeling the cold pricking my skin like a thousand needles. It wouldn’t last long, only until I shifted.
Beth dipped her nose again, encouraging me, and then turned the other way for the sake of privacy when I dropped my hands, clenching them.
Where was she … the wolf?
A low, guttural growl surprised me at first. Until I realized where the sound came from … me. It vibrated energy through my entire body—every limb, my bones, my soul. I found her.
I pushed, bringing her out of hiding as I welcomed her in—the one thing she was waiting for.
At the first snap of my leg, I cried out as pain ripped through me, stealing my breath, my thoughts. I’d never felt anything like it. My dragon was still present despite being in the shadows now. She signaled to Liam and I felt the instant the pulse left my chest, reaching him within seconds. As soon as it did, he was there, inside my head, but silent. He couldn’t see through me, but he could listen. And right now, I was screaming out in agony when my shoulders shifted out of socket.
Hot tears slipped down my cheeks and I wanted it to stop, wanted it to all be over, but I knew I had to endure this. If I was ever going to feel complete … this hell was a part of the process.