by Beth Miller
Minette would one day tell Ros the exchange she’d had with Davey at the triathlon, while Cath was still in the sea. But she’d decided not to tell Andy, because she didn’t want to upset him any more than he was already. And she wasn’t going to say anything to Abe either, because it would raise yet more questions that she couldn’t answer. He was looking at her rather oddly now, and to escape from his scrutiny she went to make more tea.
‘Davey,’ she’d said in a low voice, crouching uncomfortably in her wetsuit next to his wheelchair, ‘do you sometimes watch me out of your upstairs window?’
‘Yes.’
Minette kept a careful eye on Gina, who was walking round the esplanade shouting into her phone at her boyfriend, and said, ‘Have you been thinking that maybe I could help you?’
Davey’s eyes grew big as he gazed at her. He nodded.
‘For god’s sake, Ryan!’ Gina yelled. ‘It needs to be delicates. Right, you can just buy me a new one. No, today. Before I get home.’
Minette and Davey grinned at each other, and Gina saw. ‘Got people gawking here,’ she said, and moved further away.
Minette said, ‘I’m going to ask you one more thing. Think carefully before you answer, but whatever you say, I won’t tell on you, I promise. Davey, are you ever frightened by your mum?’
‘Yes.’ Not a second’s hesitation.
‘I don’t mean when she shouts, I mean …’
‘I know what you mean,’ he said.
‘And your dad? Did he ever frighten you?’
‘No.’ Emphatic. ‘No.’
‘OK. I don’t know the truth about what’s gone on in your family, Davey. Your mum would tell me not to interfere. But you’re a bright boy. I think you’ll be able to decide what to do about this.’
She handed him a tiny slip of paper, which she’d been keeping in her kit bag. On it was written Andy’s number, and her own. She asked Davey if he thought he could memorise them, in case he lost it. As she spoke, she prayed that she was right about Cath, that she wasn’t doing the worst thing in the world: putting a woman and her children in danger.
‘I’m good at remembering numbers,’ Davey said, staring at the paper. His lips mouthed them out silently.
Gina came over, and he slipped the paper into his pocket.
‘You won’t believe what that eejit I live with has done,’ Gina said to Minette. ‘Only took it into his head to put my brand new Elle Macpherson silk teddy in with his red Sheffield jersey. On a hot wash too, thank you very much.’
‘Mummy washed my teddy,’ Lola said, ‘and his fur went funny.’
‘Yeah, well it sounds like the fur on my teddy’s gone bloody funny,’ Gina said.
Davey said, ‘Gina, can I show Lola your phone?’
‘You’re not allowed to use the internet, Davey, and anyway there’s no 3G here,’ she said.
‘We don’t want the internet, I just want to show her the calculator,’ Davey said.
‘Why can’t you kids just sit nice and quietly?’
‘Pleee-eeese,’ Davey moaned. Minette thought she saw him nudge Lola, and the little girl immediately starting whining. ‘WANNA LOOK AT THE PHONE! PHONE! PHONE!’
‘Oh, god, OK,’ Gina said, and handed it over.
Minette didn’t know how Davey was going to make a call discreetly, but she had to leave it with him. She could see that he was going to act quickly and she wanted to get out of there, remove herself from suspicion. She ran over to Abe, got out of her wetsuit and onto her bike, and suggested Abe take Tilly for a stroll along the promenade.
‘He sent me a text,’ Andy said, which explained why Gina hadn’t seen Davey make a call.
‘How did he know how to do that?’ Abe asked. Both Andy and Minette started answering at the same time – ‘he’s incredibly bright’ and ‘he’s very resourceful’ – and smiled at each other.
‘Couldn’t believe it when I saw it. I didn’t know the number, because Gina’s never given it to me. Thought it was a hoax at first. Then I just turned the lorry round and drove.’
‘Where were you?’ Abe asked.
‘Spain.’
‘My god, that’s a hell of a way. Min, what about the school? Would Cath – Ruby, I mean – have given them a forwarding address?’
‘I doubt it,’ Andy answered. ‘She’ll have just not turned up, no explanation, that’s what she did in Harrogate. But anyway, schools and nurseries never give out information like that. Believe me, I’ve come up against this enough times. Data protection.’
‘That’s it!’ Minette cried. ‘I know how we can get Gina’s address.’
Andy kept apologising about the mess in the cab, the food wrappers underfoot, the dust on the dashboard. The lorry smelled stale, and so did he. He had five o’clock shadow, and then some; his clothes were crumpled and grubby. Minette wondered how long it had been since he’d had any sleep. She wound her window down a little – an old-fashioned manual handle – to let in some air, and gazed out at the streets as they passed. She had never been in a lorry before. Being so high up, the people down on the pavement looked very small and defenceless. How vulnerable we all were, really. It was incredible that anyone made it past infancy. All the things that could go wrong. All the random accidents. She thought of the people she’d known who’d died. Cancer, car crash, heart attack, brain tumour, septicaemia, stroke. And yet. Here she was, having made it through almost thirty years. Here was Andy. Here were all these other people, walking around.
Davey and Lola would probably make it too.
‘Turn here,’ she said, and Andy artfully manoeuvred the huge lorry into the side-street. He shut off the engine and she opened the door, climbed down onto the step above the wheel and jumped the last couple of feet. She ran into Busy Tigers, and saw with relief that Sharon, the manager, was at the front desk.
‘Oh, hello, Mrs …’
‘Fairbanks. Hello, Sharon.’
‘You’re a family friend of Lola Brooke’s, aren’t you? Didn’t you collect her recently?’
‘That’s right!’
‘Is she OK? She’s normally in on Mondays, but her mum didn’t answer her phone.’
‘Oh, she’s fine. Cath said something about her having a cold. So, er, I was wanting to get an application form, please.’
Sharon visibly warmed up. ‘Great! For your little girl?’
‘Tilly. Yes. In three weeks’ time she’ll be a year old. I think she’d really enjoy mixing with other children. And I’m going back to work.’ How glad she was, to be able to say that.
Sharon opened the filing cabinet drawer and handed Minette a form. ‘You can pop it in next time you’re passing.’
‘Thanks.’ Minette put the form in her bag and started to walk away, then turned back as though only just remembering. ‘Oh, there was one other thing. Cath told me I needed to update my details with you, on the named person form. I don’t think you have my new mobile number.’
‘Sure. Let me just find Lola’s form …’ Sharon rifled through the cabinet drawer while Minette held her breath. ‘I must say, when Lola didn’t come in I thought perhaps Mrs Brooke had decided not to send her here anymore. Now we’ve settled.’
‘Settled?’
‘You know Mrs Brooke sued us over the M&M business?’
‘Good god, I had no idea.’
‘Oh. Well. It was my first experience of the legal system. And the last, I hope. We settled out of court. My managers wanted it over quickly, to avoid the publicity.’
‘How much was it?’
‘Five thousand. Luckily our insurance covered it. I suppose our premiums will shoot up next year. Ah, here we are.’
She put the form in front of Minette, who quickly scanned Gina’s details before saying, ‘Oh, you do have the right number, I was more efficient than I thought.’
Sharon smiled. ‘Well, do tell Mrs Brooke once again how sorry we were about the incident. And wish Lola better for us, if you see her.’
‘I will,’ Minette sai
d. ‘I’m hoping to see her very shortly.’
Minette expected that Andy would drop her back home before heading to Eastbourne, but he took it for granted that she would come along with him. She debated with herself whether to insist, then reasoned that she would just stay in the lorry when they got to Gina’s. It would be stupid to be seen to be so involved; Gina would tell Cath, and then Minette would be in for it.
Andy was silent while he steered the lorry out of the narrow Brighton streets and onto the A27. Then he said, ‘What made you decide to give Adam my number?’
‘There wasn’t just one thing.’ Minette couldn’t tell him about Liam, or the photos, or any of it, really. There was a solid honesty, an ordinary blokiness to Andy, that meant she wanted him to think well of her. She didn’t want his disapproval. ‘The key thing was the feeling that Davey – Adam – wanted me to help him.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You don’t have to keep thanking me. It’s my fault, really, if you think about it, that Cath’s run off. By giving Adam your number, I scared her away.’
‘You can’t think of it like that,’ Andy said. ‘You did the right thing.’
‘I wish I’d acted sooner, now. I wish I’d …’
‘What?’
‘Nothing, really.’ Minette had been going to say, I wish I’d taken them away. Run as fast as I could and kept them safe. It wasn’t the sort of thing that really happened. Anyway, the kids probably wouldn’t have wanted to go with her. They hardly knew her. Instead she said, ‘I was wondering why you didn’t have Gina’s address. I thought you sent her money for the children.’
‘Yes, but that’s to a PO box, not to her home. I just have that, and an email address. She and Ruby are both very careful. I always put a little note in with the cheques, telling Gina my side of it, and asking if she can get the kids to give me a call. She has my number though I don’t – I didn’t, till you gave it to me – have hers. All I knew was that she lived in Eastbourne, where she and Ruby grew up. After Ruby left in February, I went straight to Eastbourne, spent several days just driving around, looking for them. But I didn’t find them.’
Minette wondered what it was like, to be Andy. To spend all your time alone, driving thousands of miles, with nothing but the radio and your thoughts for company. No one to come back to anymore, either. She knew she had to ask him about Davey, but wished she didn’t.
‘So, uh, this might seem an odd question, Andy. Or perhaps not. But Davey – Adam – he definitely has muscular dystrophy, is that right?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Andy slowed down for a roundabout and glanced across at her. ‘Ruby took him for the blood tests, they all came up positive.’
The lorry trundled along the road, past Lewes and on towards Beddingham. Another roundabout. Minette waited.
‘Shit,’ Andy said. ‘Shit, shit, shit. How could I be such a shitting idiot?’ He whacked the steering wheel, hard, and gave such a cry of despair that Minette’s eyes filled with tears.
‘Ruby took him for tests at the hospital where she worked. She could have lied, or doctored the results, or anything. Oh my god, I am such a fucking idiot.’
‘I don’t know if this is relevant,’ Minette said, hesitantly, ‘but when I was at the house once, I saw a freezer in Cath’s room. It had blood samples in it.’
‘I know, she borrowed it from work, years ago. Never gave it back when we left Birmingham. Little Panasonic portable, it is, lab freezer. She kept samples from kids she worked with once they’d been tested.’
‘What for?’
‘You’re going to think I’m stupid, but I never really asked her. I thought she just kept them out of interest, or to do her own tests on. She was a nurse, not a lab technician, but she was always very interested in that side of things.’
There was a silence while they both thought about what Cath might have used the samples for.
‘Such a fucking idiot,’ Andy said, under his breath.
‘Will the hospital in Harrogate let you have Davey’s results, do you think?’
‘I don’t know. I could try. But if she substituted someone else’s blood for his, what difference would it make? Anyway I can’t even remember if she got him tested at Harrogate. We moved around quite a bit, and she worked in a lot of different hospitals. I can work anywhere but she often got fed up with jobs, wanted to go somewhere else.’
‘Did she get sacked?’
‘Well, she would have been sacked from her last job, from the nursing bank. Worse than sacked, I think. Letters came after she left, saying she had to go to a disciplinary hearing. There were question marks about the little boy who died, Darren. It looks like he was doing well, then Ruby took over his care and he quickly got worse and, well, he passed away.’
They were silent for a moment. Minette wanted to ask if he thought Cath had deliberately done something to harm the little boy, then checked herself. His own children were with her, and maybe he was frightened that they too were in danger. It didn’t bear thinking about. But Minette couldn’t imagine Cath harming Davey or Lola. Behaving oddly, yes. Pretending they were ill, certainly. But physically harming them? It didn’t square with anything she’d seen of Cath. She wondered what had happened with the little boy who died. Whether it was just some of Cath’s odd behaviours taken too far, or whether she had just slipped up, given him the wrong treatment or not enough of the right one, or something? Well, she probably wouldn’t ever know.
Andy continued, ‘I had to ring the hospital and explain that Ruby had left me. I think they’ll have to drop it. Before that, no, I don’t think she got sacked. When I met her she was working at the Queen Elizabeth in Birmingham, and I think I told you before how she was very upset about a little girl who died there, Libby. Ruby wanted to leave straight after that. We moved to Edinburgh, then Liverpool a few years after.’
‘Andy, I really think Ruby’s unwell. I looked up that thing you mentioned before, that illness with the weird name.’
‘Munchausen syndrome by proxy.’
‘Yes. Could it be that?’
‘I don’t know. Possibly.’ Andy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘To be honest, I don’t really care. Having a name doesn’t help. It doesn’t explain anything, it just describes it. Minette. Tell me one thing. You saw the children yesterday. Are they really OK?’
‘They really are.’
‘Well, you know.’ Andy laughed bitterly. ‘Apart from all the lying and the mental health issues, Ruby is a pretty good mother.’
They passed the sign for Eastbourne – ‘The Sunshine Coast Welcomes You’ – and Andy followed the satnav’s instructions to Gina’s street. The lorry juddered to a halt, and Andy opened his door. Minette said, ‘Good luck,’ and he turned to look at her, surprised.
‘Aren’t you coming with me?’
‘Well, no. I, er, wouldn’t it be better if it was just you? Less overwhelming for Gina? In fact, I was going to say, it would make sense if she didn’t know that Abe and I have been helping. Don’t want her feeling like there’s a whole load of us ganging up. Don’t you think?’
Minette’s plan – to sit tight in the lorry, slide down so she couldn’t be seen – had taken everything into account, except the expression on Andy’s face. He looked utterly bereft. ‘Shit. I’m a bit anxious about going in there on my own.’
Minette’s heart went out to him. Really, she wanted to go with him. But you can’t, she told herself. You mustn’t be any more involved than you already are. The photos, Minette, think of the photos. ‘We don’t want to be mob-handed, Andy. And suppose Cath’s still there, she won’t want to see me, will she?’
‘She won’t want to see me, either.’ He had tears in his eyes, and she had to look away to stop her own eyes from watering in sympathy. ‘No matter how this turns out, I just want you to know that I appreciate it,’ he said. ‘You’re the first person who’s really tried to help.’ He climbed out of the lorry.
I don’t know you, Minette thought. We’ve only jus
t met. I need to protect myself. Even as she was thinking this, she was opening her door. She couldn’t bear to let him go alone. ‘I’ll come,’ she said.
She knew it would end badly. But she couldn’t do otherwise. She knew that in the same situation, Cath would sit firm, would protect herself, would not think twice. But Minette wasn’t like Cath; there was clear blue sea between them. Holding on to that thought, and letting all the other thoughts go, Minette jumped down from the cab and walked up to the house by Andy’s side.
When Gina saw them she tried to shut the door in their faces, but Andy put his foot in the jamb and pushed into the hall. Minette felt a flutter of fear as she saw how easily he did this. Christ, was his story complete bullshit? Had Cath been telling the truth after all? Gina looked like she thought so, as she backed away from them. ‘Get out of my house or I’m calling the police.’
‘Gina, are they here?’ Andy said. ‘I just want to know if they’re here.’
‘Took them to the airport this morning, so you can both just fuck off out of my house.’
Andy burst into tears.
‘Christ, I need this like a fucking hole in the head,’ Gina said.
‘What’s the problem, babe?’ A skinny young man with a pronounced Adam’s apple came down the stairs. Minette recognised him from the internet photo.
‘Nothing, Ryan, they’re just leaving.’
‘Gina, please can we talk to you?’ Minette said.
‘You’re on his side,’ she said, flipping a thumb in Andy’s direction. ‘I don’t trust you. Ruby thinks you gave Adam his number.’
There were so many confusing new names. Minette translated them in her head to the ones she was familiar with. She hoped Davey hadn’t got into too much trouble. She herself was, she realised, already in trouble, even before she’d stood side by side with Andy. She was prime suspect number one for having given out the number, so it didn’t matter so much about being here. Even if she hadn’t come in, Cath still had justification to drop the hand grenade of those dirty photos into her house. Don’t think about it, Minette told herself. Now she was here, she might just as well go all the way.