“What happened?”
“You nearly cracked your skull on the floor, that’s what happened,” he replied, voice terse.
The room swam a little as I sat up. Damn. Maybe I should have taken Dani’s advice and guzzled more water throughout the day. “I’m sorry. I’ll just go get something to drink. I need to take my pill anyway.”
“No.” Ian shook his head. “If the pills are responsible for that, maybe you shouldn’t take more.”
“Ian, dizziness is a side effect, and that happens some—”
“I don’t care if dizziness is a side effect. Passing out unconscious isn’t.”
“It was just a little blackout.”
“Leigh, you’ve been out for over a minute. I was about to call an ambulance,” he snapped.
His curt, angry words put me on the defensive. “I’m fine, okay? I’ve been up on my feet and moving around all day. I haven’t eaten anything but a piece of birthday cake and a slice of bacon. You can’t blame everything bad that happens to me on the drugs.”
His features darkened. “Can’t I? You didn’t have these problems before the goddamned medicine. I saw you yesterday. You struggled the entire afternoon.”
I blinked at him. Ian rarely swore, and if he did, it was never at me.
“I’m done with it, Leigh. You want a baby badly enough to endanger yourself? We have a child. You have a child, and Sophia loves you so much I’m not going to let you risk your health to give her a little sibling.”
“It’s not for her. It’s for you!” I screamed, and pulled my hair with both hands. Behind us, Prince Moonfeather squawked in alarm. “For seven years I’ve watched all of our friends have babies, and all I want is to give you one, too!”
“Leigh—”
“Don’t you want a child anymore with me?”
Ian placed both strong hands on my shoulders. When I gazed into his face, only patience, concern, and endless affection shone in his golden eyes. Not a shred of anger remained. If he was still pissed, he bottled it up for me.
This was the man I loved. A breath shuddered in and out of my lungs, a sob I desperately wanted to suppress. Lucky didn’t begin to describe my life and the blessings I’d counted since meeting him.
“I do, but not if you have to suffer to give me one. I love you so very much, but I need you to understand something, all right? There’s nothing in this world more important to me than you and Sophia. You both are my world. I’d sacrifice anything to keep you both happy. To keep you safe.”
I read between the lines. He’d sacrifice having a biological child for me.
And maybe a few years from now when I was older, no longer able to bear a baby at all, he’d resent me and regret his choice. Hot tears spilled over my lashes before I had a chance to blink them away. When I tried to dry my face, Ian beat me do it and swept his thumbs across my cheeks. “It’s only two more from this cycle, Ian. Today and tomorrow. That won’t kill me.”
“I don’t know…” He sighed. “I know it’s your body, but this body happens to be married to me. If I sounded like an ass just now, I’m sorry.”
“No, you didn’t. You’re right. If this round doesn’t do it, we’ll ask Doctor Kline about something else. But I don’t want to stop.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“It’s only a little dizziness and discomfort, but I promise you, Ian, if at any time some of these drugs truly do endanger my health, I will stop. But I need to do this… I need to try, because if I don’t, I’ll always wonder if we could have had a child of our own. That doesn’t mean I love Sophia less.”
“All right.”
Biting my lower lip, I studied him. He looked defeated and so damned sad I almost took it back. “You’re taking this in stride after blowing up at me.”
“What else can I do?” He rubbed his chin. White stubble glittered against his face, but I loved it when his five o’clock shadow grew in, even if it was as ivory as his natural hair color. “You made up your mind. This is what you want, and I can’t do anything but support you, Leigh. You’re an adult.”
“I am.”
“And short of throwing away your medication, I can’t stop you.”
“Well, technically you could just keep the cock away. Without frequent sexings, all these drugs would be moot.”
He snorted. “Yeah. We both know I lack self-control when you’re naked. The first time you flashed these at me,” he said, squeezing my left breast, “I’d forget about my noble intentions to withhold it from you.”
I slipped my palm over the back of his hand. “I’m glad you recognize your weaknesses.”
A moment of silence fell over us, so long I mentally counted it in the beats of my heart.
Twenty. Twenty-two. Twenty-four.
After a casual pet of my stiffening nipple, Ian turned his hand over and took my hand in his warmer grip. Calloused fingers stroked mine, his thumb smoothing over my knuckles. “This means a lot to you. Is it because you were an only child?”
“Maybe… I don’t know.” I thought about it, then shook my head. “It was lonely growing up, but my parents couldn’t afford another child anyway. Plus Mama died in the accident and Daddy had to raise me all alone. He didn’t have anybody to help him.”
“Right. I always had Gramps and Gram at least.” He took a breath, then added, “My father died stopping a sexual assault in a gas station. Was a case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe he was at the right place just when he needed to be. Anyway, the clerk was a young woman working the night shift.”
I blinked. Ian never spoke about his father, but I knew the basics—he’d died, then Ian’s mother surrendered custody of him to his paternal grandparents. “Was she… okay?”
He nodded. “Dad survived long enough despite his injury to hand the guy his ass. We heal, and all, but you can’t recover from a bullet in the heart.”
“That’s awful.”
His jaw clenched. “Yeah. After that, Mom left me with Dad’s family.”
I squeezed his hand then raised it to my lips, kissing his fingers. For seven years, I’d always wondered why Lanie MacArthur abandoned her son. I hadn’t pushed him, and Betty never spoke about it, because deep down, I’d always wanted Ian to be the one to talk about his childhood with me.
“She… didn’t want to raise a monster.”
“Fuck her,” rushed out of me before I could reel in the tidal wave of rising fury. “You’re not a monster. You weren’t a monster then, either, just a scared six-year-old boy who had lost his dad.”
His sad smile made me wonder if he had believed it. If his mother had said it to his face, or if his grandparents one day told him. “The contrast between both of you amazes me sometimes. She never wanted me when she found out what I was—what we were. And you can’t wait to be pregnant with one of us.”
“I can’t. Sophia is my pride and my joy. I love her so much, more than I ever thought I could love anyone until you gave me a second chance. Despite my background and all my fuckups, Ian, you loved me. You rescued us. I want to give her a little brother or sister to grow up with. I want to watch you fly with our baby one day. And if I have to deal with some dizziness and hot flashes to make it happen, I will.”
He nodded quietly. “Okay.”
Then I kissed him and prayed this round was the last cycle of drugs I’d have to take.
8
Leigh
Sex became really monotonous when scheduled, but Ian and I didn’t have much choice about it if we wanted a baby. To the ignorant onlooker, it sounded amazing. Sex every day you’re not bleeding had to be awesome, right? Wrong. There were downsides to it.
My vagina hurt. Ian wasn’t a rough bear shifter going to town on me, but mother nature had blessed the man with girth and endurance. Even after working eight hours at the department and sometimes driving down to Houston to handle MacArthur Security business, he had all of his get up and go. But all of my tolerance for his dick had gotten up and went.
/> And he claimed he was getting old. Tell that to my pussy.
Because my mate excelled at everything he did, I never had to fake an orgasm. The problem was that he overachieved when sometimes I wished he’d just thrust a few times, blow his load, then go to bed.
God, I felt awful for thinking it. There were women out there with underperforming husbands unable to even find their clit, and I was wishing mine would bust a nut and call it done.
All the romance was drying up. We had the occasional special night that made me feel like the sexiest woman alive—and we certainly used the toys from L’amour—but for the most part, neither of us maintained the initial excitement that came when a doctor gave you a license to bone twenty days a month.
I didn’t look forward to doing this for a third month.
Then I remembered Ian had practically forbade me to do it.
Then I reminded myself to think positive. We wouldn’t need a third cycle of treatments. After the serious fucking he’d given me last night, I had to be pregnant.
Ignoring the scent of applewood smoked bacon wafting upstairs from our kitchen, I laid in bed another ten minutes before forcing myself to roll from beneath the covers. I took a five-minute shower, pulled on unicorn leggings with my favorite LuLaRoe Perfect T, then ventured downstairs to find my family on this fine Saturday morning.
Ian greeted me from a makeshift perch he’d made from a tree branch, him and Moonfeather side by side. He always started molting during the summer, this time of the year an itchy phase for him. Sometimes, Sophia and I both helped him break the pins encasing his new feathers.
Moonfeather had it covered.
And it was the most adorable fucking thing I’d ever seen, my two favorite guys preening each other while My Little Pony: Equestria Girls played on the television. Sophia sprawled across the rug with her sketchbook, drawing both of them in colored pencil.
“Mommy! Moonfeather is preening Daddy.”
“He sure is. I thought he’d be afraid of your father.”
“Nope. Prince Moonfeather is too brave to be afraid of eagles.”
“He definitely is.” I kissed Ian on his beak.
“Moonfeather wants a kiss, too, Mommy.”
Shit. I watched our sweet gray prince open his beak when I leaned in. “I don’t think he wants kisses from me.” He’d bitten me the last time and definitely appeared ready to do that shit again.
“But he loves kisses.”
Ian laughed, though the sound was higher pitched than his human speaking voice and it creeped me out hardcore. “I wouldn’t try it.”
Eagles were not meant to talk. Over the years, Ian had found a way to vocalize the sounds needed for speech, but it made me cringe whenever he did it. The problem was that his speech was worse than the crazy laugh.
I touched his beak. “Shh. Shh. No talking.”
He feigned nipping me.
“Be good for your father and Moonfeather. I’m taking your grandmother to the store. And probably lunch.”
“Aww, but I want to go see Grandma, too.”
“You saw Grandma three times this week,” I teased her. “We want some adult time.” The kind of time we only had without a child pleading to see the toy aisle or begging for fast food. Sophia rarely misbehaved during outings, but the girl was always hungry.
“Please, Mommy?”
“Tomorrow. After church, okay? We’ll all go to IHOP with Daddy if he doesn’t sneak away to work.” I shot Ian a look. He scowled at me—yes, it took talent to recognize the fine nuances of avian expression. “Okay, Ian?”
“Fine.”
“Okay, Sophia?”
“Okay!”
Ian stretched his neck up to me for more kisses. I placed another against the side of his yellow beak then ruffled his white face feathers with my fingers. He touched our cheeks together, and I rubbed my nose against his silky feathers.
Our first meeting as woman and eagle seemed like a million years ago. Oblivious to the existence of shifters, I’d looked outside my window to find this enormous, gorgeous specimen of a bald eagle perched on the fence. Then he’d come up to me, so fearless and handsome. I’d thought I was the luckiest woman in the world then, that his arrival was a sign of my changing luck.
It had been.
Ian’s grandmother made an easy shopping partner. Betty didn’t rush, but she didn’t stroll down every aisle either. And she never gave me any hassle when I beelined to the clearance racks. In fact, she tended to be right there beside me, rummaging for the best finds, whether it was for herself or one of us.
Sophia’s recent growth spurt meant she didn’t have many clothes for the rest of summer or for the start of school in the next couple months, and it didn’t matter that Ian told me not to worry about money because I hated blowing cash on stuff she’d grow out of before the year was out. Especially shoes.
“Does Sophia still like unicorns?” Betty asked, holding up a shirt with a cute depiction of unicorn anatomy on the front, words done in silver and pink glitter.
“She loves unicorns. That’ll be perfect for her.” Shit. I liked it, though the clearance bin wouldn’t have one large enough to fit me.
Betty added the tee to the ever-growing pile in the cart. Then we headed toward the women’s section for ourselves, but I slowed as we passed a stand holding the cutest baby outfits. Disappointment squeezed around my heart like a vice. Betty, bless her, set her hand against my arm and smiled up at me.
“It’ll happen, darling, believe me.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You and Ian, you got something special. Knew it from the first day he brought you over to see me.”
“You mean clean up after you?” I teased. Betty tsked and waved her hand at me.
“Pish posh. You were always more than a maid, keeping an old woman company as much as you did.”
I leaned in and kissed her cheek, feeling guilty we no longer visited every day. Then again, Betty had her own life, bridge nights with her friends and we still hit up bingo at the VFW hall once a month. “I still like keeping you company. No one’s cooler than you.”
“I’m glad you think so. Now, come help me find a new swimsuit. I plan on getting some sun onto this old body.” She fluffed her white curls. “Maybe I’ll even get some color. What do you think of blue?”
For an older woman, Betty still moved with energy and had a whip sharp mind. Her distraction helped and we both ended up getting new suits. Once we checked out, I took her to the newly opened In-N-Out burger, the first one this side of Houston. The outrageous line inside was worth the wait, though. We took our double burgers, fries, and thick shakes to an outside table and sat in the shade, our hair tossed by the breeze.
“How’s that bird working out for you all?”
“Moonfeather is great. I mean, he doesn’t like me much, but he loves Sophia and Ian. They were preening each other today.”
“Really? I’ll have to get up there and see what he makes of me.”
“Why not today? You can join us for dinner.”
“I’d love that. Though I’m not sure I’ll have room for any after eating this.”
Somehow we powered through our massive, animal-style burgers. The extra grilled onions, special sauce, and pickles over two all-beef patties with cheese made a decadent splurge. Totally worth busting my diet over.
“Ready to head back, Betty?”
“And see my grandbabies? Absolutely.”
“Babies?”
“Prince Moonfeather, of course.” A bright smile lit her face and then she climbed into the car.
“Of course,” I murmured to myself, chuckling. “Time to go home.”
9
Ian
As filthy as I’d ever been while conducting deep cover operations in the Middle East, I stepped inside my house and left my boots outside to be sanitized in the morning. Sweat soaked through my uniform shirt, I smelled like the man I’d tackled, and blood stained my pants.
It
wasn’t my blood, which was all that mattered, but the day had been the peak of my career as the county sheriff. And somehow, we’d pulled it off without a single loss of life. Of course, there’d been some use of force, but no one had died, on our side or the other. That was all I hoped for every day when I put on this uniform, that every man who wore one alongside me went home alive without a death on his conscience.
“Daddy?” Sophia popped out of the living room and ran to hug me.
I warned her off with an open hand, like a raptor trainer. “No hugs right now, sweetie. I’m gross.”
She blinked up at me, and I wondered what she had to see through the eyes of a child. My black uniform camouflaged the blood, but the dried mud from running through the wet pasture stood out. “What happened?”
“Daddy had to catch a lot of bad men today.”
“Ian! Ian! Ian!” the parrot called from his wooden perch. Of course, in the two weeks since he’d come into our home, my name had to be the first he learned. I’d told Sophia not to expect him to speak for a year or so, then he’d made a liar of me.
“Hello, little buddy.”
“His name isn’t little buddy. It’s Prince Moonfeather of the Grove.” She paused a second. “You can call him Moonfeather.”
Despite my exhaustion, I chuckled. God, Leigh had made an adorable child. “You’re right. Sorry, Moonfeather.”
“Ian?” Leigh’s voice carried down the stairs before she appeared in an oversized t-shirt and PJ pants she’d stolen from my drawer. “You’re hours late, and I—” Her eyes went large. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“Big operation. I’ll tell you about it in a few.”
I stripped in our laundry room and stuffed everything I could wash into the machine. Everything else, I sprayed generously with Lysol until I could thoroughly clean them. I’d left the boots on the porch. I never brought them inside past the mat if I could help it.
A Man of Many Talons Page 7