Alicia's Folly

by C A Vincent

  She’d broken three toes running for that third call so it stuck with her. Add to that the fact the area code was for Florida, and it was no wonder she got her hopes up. When she tried to call it back the next day, however, the number was no longer in service. She was so upset, she couldn’t bring herself to be there for Justin, Cassie and Jordan. She simply sat at home crying and writing letter after repetitive letter.

  “Do not go back to my house,” Alicia growled a little while later as Justin and the kids were ushered out of her room. “I’ll check my own damn Caller ID. Do you hear me?” At first, he glowered at her mulishly. Then, when another contraction hit and she cried out a strangled, “Please!” he gave in. With a sigh of relief, she let a nurse help her into the worn polka-dot hospital gown.

  * *

  “I don’t want a c-section,” Alicia snapped. “Can’t you turn them?”

  “Not without the risk of wrapping their necks in the umbilical chords. The ultrasound we just did doesn’t give me warm, fuzzy feelings, Alicia. And number two’s heart rate is way too fast. He’s going into distress. They need to come out. Now.”

  Before Alicia could argue further, Dr. Carson stood and told the nurse to get her prepped for surgery. After that, everything was a whirl of activity and she never did get the chance to voice her worries about the epidural paralysing her or the higher risk of blood clots due to surgery. She’d done her homework, researched everything, probably too much, but it was her right to be prepared.

  Is it also your right to be a big-assed chicken? the voice in her head asked. It had never really left her after Trinidad, though heaven knew she wanted it to. Unfortunately, it was ever-present and it poked, prodded and goaded her into saying, and often doing, things she normally wouldn’t consider saying or doing.

  Like refusing the money Phillip left her in his will. The voice told her time and again she’d be an idiot not to take it, no matter how wrong she felt it was. With a baby – neither she nor the voice knew she was having twins at the time – on the way, she would need every penny. Especially since she’d used up the majority of her severance money to live on during the three months she’d been without a job.

  She argued, of course, telling it that Nate would step up, once he knew. The problem was, he didn’t know and it was now time to bring the twins into the world via a means and method she really hadn’t been counting on using. With tears of frustration streaming down her face, she stared at the ceiling as she was wheeled toward the operating room.

  “Let’s go, ladies and gentleman,” the head nurse called out as she walked quickly beside the gurney. “Let’s get these babies delivered. Fifth set of twins today. A new record.”

  The nurse’s declaration distracted Alicia from her misery, and not because of the high number of twins born, but because Justin and his children were right outside the doors to the off-limits area. She just managed to catch sight of his jaw hitting the floor as her gurney was steered into the operating room.

  Damn it anyway! she thought to herself as the fetal monitor was strapped to the top of her belly. Now they’re going to nag me even harder.

  From the very day she learned she was pregnant to just as recently as yesterday, she’d been trying to contact Nate. Letter after letter. Call after call. Email after email. At first, the problem was “The number you are calling has been disconnected” recordings and “Undeliverable” email notifications. Then, when she started using snail-mail and still received no response, she became angry.

  To make matters worse, Nate’s personal secretary had a hate-on for her. Whenever Alicia called, the woman, Marjorie, was downright nasty toward her. And if Marjorie wasn’t there to answer, the call went to voicemail, which likely was immediately deleted upon being listened to.

  If not for Judge Michaels and Justin, she would have given up trying to contact Nate at least two months ago. She was tired of waiting and wanting. Sure, her babies had a right to know who their father was, but that could always come later, when they were older. Hers wouldn’t be the first kids in the world to grow up fatherless.

  Now however, with the knowledge of twins coming, Justin would call the judge and a private investigator would be hired. The judge was a staunch believer in parents stepping up the plate and accepting their responsibilities. He felt that even if Nate wasn’t interested in being a dad, he should at least help support her. This meant the peaceful, ordered life she was living would be turned upside down and inside-out. Desperate to prevent the catastrophe, she signalled a nurse and begged her to get a message to Justin.

  “Just tell him I said ‘Don’t tell’. He’ll understand,” she warbled. The nurse, who was clearly thinking she was just being over-emotional because of the sudden change in delivery methods looked like she was going to refuse to be her messenger. In that moment, Alicia felt a surge of panic and dread fill her. She quelled it by becoming angry.

  “Fine then! I’ll do it myself!” she snarled, pushing herself into a sitting position. In a flash a half-dozen hands were on her, pushing her back down onto the operating table. It was a damn good thing too, because she was just about to roll onto the floor. She envisioned herself landing with a horrible splat while everyone yelled at her for being so disruptive and stupid.

  Alicia managed to ignore their angry remarks and uncalled for name-calling only because the nurse she’d given her message to was hightailing it out of the OR. It looked like Justin would hear her plea after all.

  Chapter 22

  “Are you really sure about this?” Nate asked. Liz heaved an exaggerated sigh. He knew it was exaggerated because she was smiling radiantly up at him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her look more beautiful. Not even Linda, the cop who’d posed as a pilates instructor to help catch Jared, had made her this happy.

  “I’m supposed to be the one with the nerves,” she teased.

  “And you’re not. Perhaps that’s my point. Maybe you’re too – ” Liz cut him off. There was now a frown creasing her forehead. Nate felt like a shit for upsetting her on her wedding day. He just couldn’t help thinking her relationship with Dimitri was too rushed, too untested.

  “Don’t say it, Nate. A person can’t be ‘too happy’. He takes care of me. More importantly, he makes me face my demons. The difference between you and Dimitri is that he’s right there with me when I do it. Even though you tried to be, I never really felt you were. Please don’t be upset. I don’t blame you. We just didn’t – connect. Not even in the beginning, when it was good. So please, please, just be happy for me.”

  Nate nodded. Liz was right, as always. Dimitri did take care of her. And it was clear to anyone who saw them together that he was as madly and hopelessly in love with her as she was with him. And when it came right down to it, a four-month dating-slash-courting period was a hell of a lot longer than he would have had with Alicia, had she not up and left the way she had.

  “And don’t think about her,” Liz added. “It’s your own damn stubborn fault she’s still hanging over your head and heart the way she is. How many times have I told you to go find her, only to have you say things like, ‘She doesn’t want me. Why should I waste the time and money?’ or ‘Her loss’, when even I know you lost something too. You forget. I saw the two of you together. The two of you fit. You – ”

  “Stop. Please just stop. You’ve made your point. I’ll – contact her. Monday. When all of the assorted festivities are over and we’re all back to our daily grinds. Will that make you happy?” he asked. Even now, his voice thickened with emotion. How in the hell could one person have so much control over him? He was a self-made businessman, for crying out loud. One didn’t get to where he was by being emotional and weak.

  “Yes, Nate. That would make me very happy. I would be even happier if you would give her hell from me too. Oh and do it before you hear her voice, because we all know how big a softie you are. The moment you hear her voice, you’ll be all ‘I forgive you!’ and – Aaaack! Nate! Put me down!”

  Nat
e didn’t do as he’d been ordered until he reached Dimitri’s hotel room door. Having heard her wails and pleas, his new business partner was standing just inside it, a look of consternation on his face.

  “Are you making fun of him again?” Dimitri asked is soon-to-be-wife. Completely devastated over having her fiance see her in her wedding dress, Liz stomped her foot and spat the string of Russian curses she’d learned from her almost-mother-in-law. Dimitri threw back his head and roared with laughter. Then, when she turned her anger in his direction, he snagged her hand by the pinky finger and slowly reeled her in for a kiss. Nate took that as his cue to get the hell gone.

  It was and wasn’t difficult to see the woman he would have married be so ecstatically happy with someone else. On the one hand, he and Liz had worked everything out and managed to stay really good friends. On the other, she was moving on with her life at lightning speed, or so it seemed, and doing all of the things he wanted to be doing. Who knew if he and Alicia would have worked out? He didn’t. But there was still that part of him, deep down, that knew it likely would have. And because of that, it stung to see Liz and Dimitri so together.

  While he waited for Dimitri to finish soothing Liz’ ruffled feathers, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. Though her first name started with “A” and her last name with “D”, Alicia was listed under “Z” in his phone book. It was his way to avoid seeing her name whenever he had to go searching for a number.

  Several times since being back from Trinidad, he’d scrolled to her digits and looked at them. Normally he backed out to the main screen and pocketed his phone when he was done, but there were a few times he’d actually swiped his thumb across her name to activate the call. Out of those times, she only answered once. The pain of that time washed over him, still managing to pierce his heart after several months.

  … ‘Hello?’ she panted. It was more than a pant, actually. It was a gasp. Images of some faceless man bringing her pleasure filled his mind and made his cock shrivel into almost nothing. ‘Hello?’ she said again. This time there was a slight whimper to her tone. He hurled his phone across his office and heard it smash.

  “Hello?” a thin, far-away voice said. With a jerk, Nate realized he’d dialled a number. His stomach dropped as he checked the screen to find out whose. It was Alicia’s, of course and all of a sudden, his throat clogged up, probably with his heart. “Please, I don’t have time for this. Who’s calling?”

  She sounded stressed out. He thought he might have even heard her mutter the word “ouchie” our “owwie”. Was she hurt? He opened his mouth to ask but no sound came out. Even farther than her voice was the sound of a car horn, honking long and insistent. She was on her way out and he was making her late. Feeling both guilty and angry, all he could do was press the phone to his ear as she swore then made one last attempt to get him to speak.

  “Look, I have to get going. If you’re not going to talk to me, I’m hanging up.” To the continued sound of the horn, she yelled, “I’m coming. Keep your freaking pants on. Geez!” Then the line went dead and she was gone.

  Nate forced himself to loosen the death-grip he had on his phone. Next, he worked on evening out his breathing and slowing the erratic hammering of his heart. He’d barely just managed this when Liz appeared, looking even more radiant than before. He didn’t doubt Dimitri’s attentions had played a very large part in that.

  “Let’s get you married,” he said, plastering a grin on his face.

  “Yes, let’s,” she answered. Then she had to remind him of his earlier acquiescence and add, “You’ll call her on Monday, right?” Nate felt his jaw clench. He worked to release it so he could answer her.

  “I will,” he said. The insistent car horn and Alicia’s tense voice played through his head over and over again as they walked. It sounded like she was going on with her life without him. Like his own, it was filled with impatient yet well-meaning friends. Did he really want to disrupt that? No, he didn’t. And so, he silently added the word ‘not’ to his would-be promise and continued to lead Liz to the elevator and the banquet hall on the third floor.

  Chapter 23

  Tristan & Ryan First Birthday

  “Hey, can you grab those napkins for me?” Alicia asked Nancy, one of her friends from Mom & Me play group. Unfortunately, Nancy was so completely absorbed in telling her nine month old son Aidan how wonderful he and his latest bowel movement were, she didn’t hear the request.

  “I’ve got them,” Justin offered, coming up behind her. He stepped in close and reached around her for them, one hand just barely resting on her opposite hip. Alicia froze like she always did whenever he became a little too intimate. It seemed to be happening more and more lately and she was getting worried. She wasn’t interested in him in any kind of romantic way, but he wasn’t getting the message.

  “Hey you two, the birthday boys are getting crabby. I thought you said they had a long nap,” Becky scolded. She was another mom from the play group and was obsessive about schedules, cleanliness and behavior. Whenever they were at group, the other moms had to keep her distracted so her daughter Alexa would have a chance to play. Otherwise the poor mite ended up stuck in her car seat the whole time.

  “They don’t really like crowds,” Alicia answered as Justin moved gracefully away from her. He acted as though it was the most natural thing in the world to share intimate moments with her in the kitchen. It wasn’t though, and she resented the fact he would behave that way. Perhaps it was time to tell him outright to back the hell off.

  She made a mental note to talk to him before he left then picked up the two plastic saucers with the boy’s cupcakes on them in one hand and the tray with the cupcakes for the rest of the group in the other. Like a seasoned server at a fine restaurant, she made her way to the back yard where everyone was waiting to sing Happy Birthday.

  * *

  “I’m telling you, Mager. You’re pushing your luck,” Herman warned quietly. He didn’t need the busy-body mommies overhearing him, especially the little redhead who kept looking at Justin like she could eat him for lunch. It galled him the woman would do that with her husband looking on.

  “I’m not ‘pushing’ anything. I’m testing the waters. Would it make you happy to know there hasn’t been a single damn spark of response from her in the entire month and a half I’ve been doing it?” Mager countered. He sounded angry, more so than he should be. Herman decided then and there to stay for the whole party after all. He wouldn’t put it past Mager to brow-beat her into a “test relationship”. The lawyer was too damn smooth for his liking.

  “I’m not the one affected, obviously,” he said, arching an eyebrow at the younger man. “What has you so bent out of shape? Alicia’s not the type of girl to just throw herself at a man. You’ve known her for longer than I have. Surely you realized this about her a long time ago.”

  “I’m not just some random guy. She knows me. She knows I can take care of her, of her boys. Obviously their father doesn’t want to. Would it kill her to react to me, just a little? She just - freezes, - becomes a damn statue, whenever I get close.” Mager huffed and snorted, trying to get his temper under control. It was a good thing too, because the two mothers closest to them were eavesdropping. Herman almost told them to mind their own damn business.

  “She’s still hoping their father will get in touch. You know that, right?” he asked, keeping his voice low. “She even started a separate bank account to save for the trip. Talks to the boys about their daddy as if he’s some wonderful, incredible man who loves them and can’t wait to meet them.”

  The plastic cup in Mager’s hand splintered as his anger got the better of him. What little of the fruit punch there was left in it spilled onto the front of his white shirt, infuriating him further. Surprisingly, he didn’t go into a rant, something he seemed inclined to do more and more lately. It took several more grunts and snufflings than usual, but he did manage to get himself under control, just as
the group started to sing.

  In Herman’s opinion, the younger man needed to get himself a woman, and Alicia wasn’t the one. She had her heart set on her babies’ father. Everyone knew it, no matter how vehemently she denied it. It infuriated him the man wasn’t interested. The babies were just too damn cute and precocious for words and Mr. Nate Langston was missing out.

  He turned his attention to the two cherubs in their identical highchairs. Their odd eyes – each had one brown, one blue-green – were lit up like Christmas lights as their mother approached. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d seen them perk up and become excited at the sight of her, even when they were already happily playing with their rattles and teethers. He’d even watched the interactions of the other mothers and their babies surreptitiously, to see if all infants reacted similarly and was almost proud to realize none of them ever got quite so excited as Tristan and Ryan did.

  Herman started to think about how his Alicia was special and stopped himself. She wasn’t “his” anything. Though he often attributed her grace, humor and beauty to the tiny, perfect baby girl his Maggie died trying to deliver – the baby would have been around Alicia’s age had she survived – he knew Alicia wasn’t his. Thinking this way did help him find peace and a much more fulfilling reason for being though. She and her boys made him feel needed. He was actually considering retiring finally so he could spend more time with them.

  “Do you want one of Alicia’s cupcakes? Apparently she’s been taking baking lessons and doing well. They should actually be edible,” Mager said, standing. He’d soaked up most of the punch and seemed to be in a better mood.