by C A Vincent
Herman would have wondered at that were he not so tired all of a sudden. He was thinking he might have overdone it by spending all day at the park with Alicia and the boys yesterday, then coming over to help her set up for the party this morning.
“Not much for sweets,” he answered. “You go. I’m just going to sit here and watch the little ones play.”
“All right then. If you need anything, just let someone know.” Mager sounded worried so Herman waved him off. Then he did exactly what he said he was going to do. He watched Tristan and Ryan make a right mess of themselves with their birthday cupcakes. He didn’t think he’d seen a more adorable sight.
* *
“Hey Alicia. Do you have a blanket? Herman’s falling asleep in his chair,” Justin said, pulling her aside. She looked over at Judge Michaels – it still felt disrespectful to call him Herman, even after all this time – and saw he was nodding off. He looked so old and frail, hardly the robust man she remembered from her days in court. Feeling guilty for taking up so much of his time yesterday and today, she handed Justin the boys’ bottles and absently asked him to deliver them.
The judge mumbled an almost-silent “Thank you” and smiled at her beatifically as she gently propped his head with a pillow and covered him with a blanket. Suddenly, he grasped her hand and held it firmly.
Startled, she looked him right in the eyes. His tone was heartfelt when he repeated himself and Alicia couldn’t help feeling he was talking about more than the blanket and pillow. It felt as though he was thanking her for anything and everything she’d ever done for him, and then some. Apprehension skittered up and down her spine.
As she tucked the blanket around him, she was struck by the sudden urge to return the sentiment. She brushed a soft kiss at the top of his forehead and told him how she felt about his involvement in Tristan’s, Ryan’s and her lives.
“I should be thanking you, Judge,” she whispered. “You saved my boys and me by forcing me to come to terms with their existence. Then you gave me a job and pestered me to take care of myself. Most importantly, you’re an invaluable friend. In short, for a “crochety old man”, you’re a pretty great guy. Thank you. Sleep now, sir, and Justin will drive you home when the party is over.” Judge Michaels’ eyes watered as he looked up at her. He gave a little nod as he squeezed her hand then settled in for his nap.
Feeling a little unsteady, Alicia returned to the party. Every now and again, she took a moment to check on the judge and make sure he was resting comfortably. He slept deeply, a small, content smile on his face. As the party wound down, she was constantly distracted by one person or another. When the last person was gone, she realized it had been more than an hour since she last went to check on him.
“Not now, Justin,” she snapped as he waylaid her with an arm around her waist. He froze this time, the expression on his face inscrutable. For a moment, she thought he would give her hell and they would have their confrontation about his touchy-feeliness right then and there. Instead, he stepped aside. With a wide, exaggerated flourish, he bowed deep. She wanted to punch him in the face.
“Whatever the fair lady wants,” he said, his voice dripping with scorn. With a frustrated sigh, she brought the matter to a head after all. She couldn’t let it hang over her anymore.
“Just stop, okay. You know I’m not interested in you romantically. I like having you as a friend. Why do you want to ruin that?” She tried again to go out to the judge but Justin’s venomous answer stopped her cold.
“You had no problem jumping into bed with Nate after only four days. We’ve known each other almost seven years now. What the hell is wrong with giving me even just a little of what you gave him, huh?”
Alicia felt the blood drain from her face. Memories of her days with Nate came back to her in a rush and, all of a sudden, she felt dirty for allowing her heart to rule her emotions. Tired, hurting and angry, she back-stepped then turned on her heel. It was either that or follow through with the urge to plant her fist into Justin’s nose.
“I have to check on the judge,” was all she could manage to say, her voice thick with tears.
To someone who didn’t know him as she did, Judge Michaels appeared to be deeply asleep in his chair. As she approached him, however, Alicia knew something wasn’t right. One arm hung loosely at his side and his head was turned almost completely sideways and resting on his shoulder. She’d seen him nap before. Even in slumber he was controlled and meticulous. His arms were always crossed over his stomach and his chin never strayed from the centre of his breastbone.
Her stomach dropped as she fell to her knees beside him and took his exposed hand in hers. It was cool to the touch. Swallowing past a lump of emotion, she reached up and tried to find his pulse. When she found none, she burst into tears.
Chapter 24
The closer they got to Alicia’s house, the more nervous and agitated he became. In one moment, he doubted himself. What if he’d done something to drive her away? In the next, he was angry with her for using him and messing with his head. Ever since Dimitri and Liz informed him they were taking him to Winnipeg instead of dinner, he’d been spinning his wheels in this vicious cycle.
Of course, he didn’t realize they’d set him up until they turned off toward the airport instead of restaurant Fratelli Milano. After that, the sheer need to see her kept him moving forward. Kind of like when one knows something is bad for them, but goes ahead and does it anyway. That was fifteen hours ago. Now he was a bona fide head case as he muttered and cursed his way through the tail end of Winnipeg’s morning rush hour. It didn’t help that the out-of-date GPS wanted him to turn right onto a bloody dead-end street.
“I’m going to kill - ” he began. Liz cut him off.
“Don’t do it. We hid a recording device. The police will find it when they take this car apart, screw by screw, in their search for evidence. They’ll hear you threatening to murder us in our sleep and you’ll end up behind bars for the rest of your life. Langston Corporation will fall to ruin and all of your hard work will have been for nothing.”
Nate checked the rear view mirror. Even exhausted as she was, her expression was too damn smug for her own good. He chuckled anyway, shaking his head. Then, exasperated with going in circles, he pulled into a Tim Horton’s and went inside to ask for directions. Liz, bless her heart, feigned a heart attack when he explained what he was doing.
“Don’t push it, babe,” Dimitri warned. “A man asking for directions is a sure sign of mental distress. Throw too many smart-ass remarks his way and he could SNAP!” When he lunged and tickled his wife on the word “snap”, she shrieked. Nate laughed outright at that, glad that if he had to go through hell, he was doing it with them at his back. Of course, they continued to play-fight and giggle like high school sweethearts while he went inside.
He wasn’t jealous. Not at all. He didn’t envy the closeness they had, or the love that shone in Liz’s eyes whenever Dimitri walked into a room. It didn’t frustrate him to no end he was over thirty and the only thing he had to go home to was his seventy-six inch big screen television. At this point in his life plan, he’d expected to at least have a solid relationship, if not a baby on the way. His mood worsened as he walked into the coffee shop and stood in line.
Twenty minutes later, he walked out laden down with caffeine for Dimitri and himself, both a plain and chocolate milk for Liz – the baby wasn’t a fan of either coffee or juice – and two bags of assorted sandwiches and treats. Most of the stuff was bought out of guilt.
When the sixteen year-old barrista could do nothing more than stare open-mouthed up at him, he’d snapped at her and made her cry. Feeling like a heel, he struggled to smooth her ruffled feathers and ended up buying much more than they needed in the process.
“Did you know Roblin Boulevard becomes Grant Avenue becomes Corydon Avenue? Or that, in reaching Corydon, we’ve gone way off-course? It would be nice if the rental company had up-to-date software in their GPS’s,” he said, hand
ing the food to his passengers. They were almost asleep when he started speaking and he startled them.
“Hey. The only one allowed to sleep is Elizabeth,” he grumbled. “It’d be great if you sat up front, Dimitri. I’m stopping for a map and I’m going to need a navigator.”
* *
He had to say he was more than a little impressed with Alicia’s house. When she’d talked about it, she never mentioned it was a large, rambling bungalow with a manicured lawn and an elegant-looking stone and brick front. The sidewalk from the street to the front door was multi-colored cobblestone. It was so homey-looking he felt a stab of envy deep in his gut. He would give his right arm and left leg to have something like this, rather than his cold and impersonal penthouse apartment.
And it’s paid for, he thought, remembering how she’d blushed when she told him. For reasons unknown to him, he felt a sense of pride over the fact she’d managed her money so well. With a shake of his head, he turned to get out of the car.
And froze. The front door opened and a very upset-looking Alicia stormed through it. There was a tall, scrawny man in business suit hot on her heels. He didn’t look very happy either. In fact, he looked like he could chew nails.
The moment they cleared the front steps, she rounded on him and gave him hell for something. Nate couldn’t hear what was being said. He’d parked the car on the road and the windows were closed. He almost rolled it down, just so he could hear her. Unfortunately, the common courtesy and respect for people’s privacy his mother had drilled into him all his life prevailed. After a few seconds, the man started to look contrite.
Right on! Nate cheered silently. He didn’t have to know what was going on to choose a side.
He tried to see the outline of her curves beneath the dark skirt and blazer she wore, but it was impossible. The outfit was so – large – on her. The word that came to mind was “stodgy”. Worry made him frown as he considered the fact she might have lost weight. Remembering her sweet curves and how they’d filled his hands just perfectly, his worry grew. Even still, he was almost paralyzed as he watched her. She was obviously on her way out. If he approached her now, she’d likely never get to where she was going.
“She’s looks like she’s dressed for a – ” he began. Dimitri, who’d moved to the front seat shortly after they left Tim Horton’s finished his sentence.
“Funeral. She’s drowning in that blazer,” he said quietly.
“Damn. This can’t be happening,” Nate groaned. When Dimitri looked at him questioningly, Nate explained. “Her boss set up the trip to Trinidad in hopes of hooking her up with an old college buddy of his. The buddy turned out to be a bit of an odd duck. The crappy part is her boss had just closed up shop because he was dying. He showed up in Trinidad while she was there. She figured he was going to do himself in at one point. I don’t know what happened after that.”
The realization he forgot entirely about the possibility of Phillip Ostlund killing himself made him uneasy. A small voice at the back of his mind whispered perhaps the dying man had something to do with her sudden departure. Guilt for all of the negative thoughts he’d had over the years washed over him as he continued to spy on her and wonder.
“I guess we’re headed to a hotel so the two of you can sleep,” he said as Alicia and Mr. Skinny got into a Cavalier that had seen better days. Dimitri made a startled noise and shook his head. He peered out the windshield, squinting, then swore under his breath.
“Follow her,” he said, surprising both him and Liz. Nate started to argue. “Just go,” his friend ordered. He was angry but wouldn’t explain why.
* *
Just great, Nate thought, watching Mr. Skinny comfort and console Alicia. They were walking back to their car with her tucked under his arm, much the same way he’d walked with her when she was worried about Phillip. At one point they stopped and for a brief moment he thought they might kiss. If they would have, he likely would have lost it, right there in the car. Even still, the way her face was tilted upward, combined with how he was leaning slightly forward, spoke volumes. Instead of approaching her as planned, he heaved an unsteady breath, turned on his heel and headed back toward the rental.
“They’re lovers,” was all he said as he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car.
“So that’s it?” Liz asked drowsily from the back seat. “You’re not going to fight for her?”
Dimitri was strangely quiet and pensive in the seat beside him. Nate silently thanked God for that as he pulled into the string of cars leaving the cemetery. As exhausted as they were, they’d stayed for the entire service and the interment. Now he was really wishing they hadn’t. He wanted nothing more than to be back home in his sterile, emotionless environment so he could stare sightlessly at his grotesquely large television and lick his wounds.
“What would you have me do? I live in Miami. She lives here. And she’s obviously moved on. It’s time for me to go home and move on too. Okay?” He gave his friends half a heartbeat to provide a logical, non-pain-inducing rebuttal. When they didn’t, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Nate knew himself well enough to realize “moving on” would be a case of “easier said than done”. Never before had he been so hung up on a woman. But then, it wasn’t like he was making a very serious attempt to forget her. Maybe now he would actually make the effort.
Chapter 25
Tristan & Ryan Second Birthday
“If you don’t, I will,” Justin growled. Alicia felt the blood drain from her face. She could see he was dead serious. He was clearly fed up. So was she, for that matter. But that didn’t give him the right to interfere in her life.
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. Then she became angry and shoved him. He grunted from the impact but didn’t budge. She would have pushed him again, but there were still a few stragglers milling about after the boys’ birthday party. Lucky for him, they kept her from losing it completely.
“It’s my life. And it’s been almost three whole years. What right - ”
“So you’re not still planning to bring the boys to Miami. You aren’t going to bring them to finally meet the Daddy you keep telling them about?” he cut in. Blood flooded back into her face in a rush, making her dizzy.
“My plans haven’t changed,” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper. “And for your information, I’ve stopped making him into a hero. I barely ever talk about him anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter whether you talk about him or not. You still want him in yours and the boys’ lives and that want is holding you back. It may be your life, Alicia, but you’re not living it. Instead, you’re killing yourself working two and a half jobs and trying to be Super-Mom.
The friends you used to go out with have pretty much given up hope of ever seeing you again and I’m playing surrogate Super-Dad because you can’t manage your schedule worth a good God-damn. What happened to the organized, efficient, - ”
“I’m still organized and efficient, otherwise I wouldn’t be clerking for three judges,” Alicia snapped, cutting Justin off. “It’s not my damn fault my babysitters have all suddenly become infatuated with boys and would rather spend their evenings on Facebook, making silly little comments back and forth. I thank you very much for everything you’ve done Justin, but if you go ahead with your plan to hunt Nate down and tell him, I will never forgive you. This kind of news can’t come from a stranger. It just can’t. Please understand.”
She begged Justin with her eyes. Since the Judge’s death, he was her rock, her confidant and her best friend. If not for the fact they lived in separate houses, they could almost be considered a couple. After all this time, she was actually thinking of allowing their relationship to move to that next level. She just needed to give Nate this one last chance to step up on his own.
For the first time since finding out she was pregnant, she outright told him about his sons in a letter. If that didn’t get his damn attention, then he didn’t deserve them. It was sent a w
eek ago. When she checked with Canada Post this morning on the status of the delivery, she saw someone had signed for it yesterday. Now all that remained was to give him a week to answer.
As she stood there, silently imploring Justin to stay out of it, something in his expression shifted. Butterflies danced in her stomach as a glimmer of hope suddenly sparked in his eyes. Even though he’d been honoring her request to be strictly friends and nothing more since Judge Michaels’ death, she knew he was still hoping for something permanent between them.
“You already told him, didn’t you?” he asked quietly. The butterflies intensified. Unable to form the words to answer him, she bit down on her bottom lip and kept saying, “Please” with her eyes. He pulled in a slow, deep breath. “All right then. So… What? Status quo for – How long, Alicia? How much more time are you giving him?”
“A week at least. He might be away on business. I – Maybe,” she finished in a whisper. How else did she tell him she was willing to try, but that didn’t mean things would go the way he was hoping?
“Maybe more than a week?” Justin asked, misunderstanding. Alicia heaved a shaky sigh and went for broke.
“Maybe it will work between us. Maybe it won’t. Don’t assume it will, just because you want it to,” she said. She waited for him to argue, to insist things would be good between them. When he didn’t, she released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“It’s a start,” was his answer. Then he kissed her quickly, full on the mouth. It was over so fast she didn’t even have time to react. Slightly dazed, she simply shook her head “no”, indicating he shouldn’t push things. He ignored her.
“I’ll win you over yet, Danvers,” he said instead. “But for now, I need to get Cassie to her piano lesson. I’ll call you later.”
* *
Alicia slid into the tub with a sigh of relief. What a crazy day. From the moment she woke up to this one, she’d been on tenterhooks. Memories of last year’s party kept plaguing her and she hadn’t been able to shake the feeling something bad would happen to someone.