He shouldn’t be here. In my parents’ home, acting like he owns the place, and me, just because he’s in charge of our little group. I can’t help but fume a little, knowing it was my own mom who’d brought him here. Who’d shared the conversation I’d had with her last night. The one who’d asked him to talk some “sense” into me.
Another woman, my mom’s friend and fellow Underground member, Evangeline, is here, too. She stands in the corner near the fridge. Her face is placid, but her eyes are swirling with emotion as she stares at me. She reminds me of Evie; she is a direct contrast to Eli.
Her eyes and hair are the exact color as Evie’s; ice blue and honey blonde. And just like Evie, she has a small frame that appears deceptively fragile. Her hands never lie still, even when she appears to be perfectly calm. And I know from experience she sees far more, and is entirely more intelligent, than you’d think at first glance.
Eli sits down across from me and leans back in the chair. “How long have you been working with us, Timothy?” His voice is utterly calm and that, more than anything else, makes the warning bells clang. He reminds me of Evie so much in that moment.
I sigh. “All my life.”
He leans forward and steeples his fingers, resting his chin on their tips. “So…would you say you’re pretty vested in what we’re doing here? You know what we’re doing and why? And what would happen should we fail?”
I nod.
“And you understand that everything that happens here is on a need-to-know basis and that everything that you’ve been trusted with is only extended to you as a courtesy because of who your parents are and what they’ve done for us?”
Again, I only nod.
“Then why would you think that telling the girl anything would be a good idea?”
The way he refers to Evie as “the girl” makes me bristle, and the words slip out before I can control them. “Because she deserves to know. And she’s not just ‘the girl’. Her name is Evie, which you very well know.” I stare daggers at Evangeline. “And contrary to what you think, she’s human. Despite her being raised how she was, she’s filled with more kindness and compassion and love than every single person in this room. If the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t even hesitate, I’m sure, to tell you,” I move my gaze to encompass all the people in the tiny room, “all of you, what she knows. No matter what the risk to her would be. She needs to know.”
“You’re in love with her,” Evangeline says. Her voice is quiet, but she might as well have screamed it, the way everyone turns to her, then to me.
I open my mouth to object, to yell at her that she doesn’t have a clue what love is, but I can’t force the words out. So I slam my mouth shut and press my lips together.
“Have you lost all of your senses?” Eli demands. I don’t answer him, but that doesn’t seem to matter because he goes on. “She may be flesh and blood, but she’s not like us. She’ll never be like us. And if the roles were reversed, don’t think for one second that she’d care about you. You’d just be a means to an end. That’s what she was taught. That’s what they all were taught. She’s been made to think that way and you’re a fool if you think that you can change that.”
I shove to my feet, knocking the chair over in my anger. “You don’t know her like I do,” I shout. “She’s not what you’ve made her out to be. She’s not just a…a thing you can move and manipulate however you want, like a chess piece. And if you think differently, then you’re no better than Mother.”
“Timothy, maybe you should sit down,” my mom says with a tug, and a hard pinch on my arm, when she sees the look on Eli’s face, but I shake her off.
“You are a fool,” he says and pushes back from the table to stand. He walks to the door—past me—but stops just behind me. “You will not tell that girl anything. You will continue along the path that we’ve planned. And I will hear nothing more of this moronic idea to tell her anything. If you can’t follow my directions, I will remove you from your position and replace you with someone else.” He continues to the door, pausing just before opening it. “I will know if you’ve said anything to her.”
The door shuts behind him; a sharp click stands as the punctuation to his remark.
Evangeline follows his path, stopping next to me, and places her hand on my shoulder. “Your actions are admirable, Timothy. Evie is lucky to have you as her champion.” She follows Eli without saying anything else, but I know what she didn’t say. Don’t muck it up, because she needs someone like you.
CHAPTER FOUR
I flip open my pocket watch and wince. I'm late! Damn! Even though I only think the curse, I glance around to make sure no Enforcers are around. I've never trusted that they can't read minds. Their uncanny ability to appear out of nowhere at the worst moments almost begs the fact that they can.
I pick up my pace. I don't run, per se, because it's frowned upon, but I'm as close to running as you can get without actually doing it. My fellow Citizens move out of the way when they see me, but it's not because they don't want to keep me from whatever I'm rushing to—or away from. It's because they don't want to be caught near me if an Enforcer sees me rushing.
I know, because I'd do the same.
As I pass the last booth in the Bazaar, I slow my pace. No matter how late I am, it’s not wise to run into the Palace Wing. There is entirely too much security blocking the tube between Sector Two and the Palace Wing, and any infraction, even one so minor as running, is a sure way to end up one of the missing.
The Guard standing at the podium merely glances at me before signaling me to go past him. Another reminder that I’ve come too far, worked too hard, to stop now. I walk quickly through the tube that separates the Palace Wing from Sector Two. Today the water outside the tube glows a brilliant blue and the fish are like jewels. It never fails to remind me how lucky we are to be living in such a beautiful place, even so dark as it is.
I hurry out of the tube and down the hallway to the elevator.
Inside I use the shiny metal walls to double-check my appearance to be sure my rush through Sector Two didn't wreak havoc on my hair or clothes. Mother expects a certain presentation and showing up even slightly disheveled would be akin to social suicide. After the exchange with Eli this morning, that’s the last thing I want to do. I'm pleased to see there's not so much as a speck of dust on me or a hair out of place.
As soon as the doors open, I rush out and follow the corridor to the sitting room where Mother hosts the tea parties for Evie—Miss Evelyn, I have to remind myself. She’s only Evie in private. I'm not exactly a fan of the tea parties, but if I want to continue to be one of Miss Evelyn's Suitors, I must continue to go to them and make a show of absolutely loving them.
Blech!
Miss Evelyn's voice drifts out through the open sitting room door and I smile; she's talking about how pretty the roses are now that they're in full bloom. Even though her voice is much more formal, and wispier, as if she really does want everyone to think of her as daft, her voice automatically makes my stomach tighten as it had yesterday evening. I have to admit that spending this time with her—even if it is horribly structured and chaperoned and completely unlike the secret, stolen times we have together—is worth any number of hours pretending to like lukewarm tea and chit-chatting about frivolous topics like what flowers are blooming in her gardens, who's Coupling with whom, and—Mother help me—her cross-stitching.
I make another adjustment to my clothes, swallow the lump in my throat, and step through the door.
As always, just seeing her makes me smile. She’s beautiful, with her soft honey-blond hair that never stays where she wants it to and her ice-blue eyes that have a way of warming when she's really smiling. Not that fake stuff she does when she's in Daughter of the People mode, but really, truly smiling.
It gives me a little thrill to think that I might be the only one who ever gets to see it.
Almost instantly I force the thoughts away, as I rem
ember the Guards and Enforcer standing around the small room. They, of course, have noticed me immediately, and stand at attention. The Enforcer does nothing, but I can feel the distaste pouring from her. Now Miss Evelyn isn't the only reason for the nerves twisting in my stomach.
It makes me think of how easily Evie turns from the girl she was yesterday into Miss Evelyn, the girl she is now. Maybe Eli is right, after all.
Just as I think that, Miss Evelyn looks up from staring into her tea and her small fake smile blooms into that full-out grin, transforming her back into Evie. With just that one smile—the one reserved only for me—I know that Eli is wrong, and that if the roles were reversed, she would tell me. And that she’s just as human as we are. She feels like we do. Hurts like we do. Loves like we do. Loves me as I do her.
How else could just a smile from her light an entire room with its radiance and start a fire in my blood? My mind blanks and the apology sitting on the tip of my tongue swims right out of my head.
When another of her Suitors clears his throat, Evie blushes, and the pink tint sits prettily on her milky cheeks before she tones the smile down, transforming back into Miss Evelyn. She gestures to the empty seat I normally occupy.
“So good of you to join us.” No matter how composed and serene her posture and poise has become, the joy in her voice is obvious.
I bow slightly. “I apologize for my rudeness in being late, Miss Evelyn. I brushed against something on my way here and smeared grease on my pants. I would rather have been late, than to dishonor you by showing up in soiled clothing.”
Miss Evelyn's smile widens. “A perfectly reasonable excuse.” She gestures again to the empty seat. “Please. Join us.”
I take my seat, trying to keep my eye on the Enforcer without looking like I'm watching out for her. It is then that I realize, this week, I am one of four Suitors. A new adversary has entered the competition. I can’t help but wonder what danger this represents to my position.
My eyes do a quick study of this new rival. I am pleased to see that, in looks, at least, I believe I am victorious. I fit Mother's ideal better than this newcomer. He's built like a Guard. Big and bulky. His slightly droopy eyes are a watery blue. And his hair is a shade darker than my own.
Miss Evelyn must notice my appraisal, because she waves toward him and says, “This is a new Suitor. He's a Guard and Mother was quite insistent he join us this afternoon.”
So I was correct. Good. He won't be competition for me after all. My jealousy wanes as quickly as it came. I already know Evie’s feelings on Guards.
I incline my head toward him, forcing my smirk under a polite smile. “Nice to meet you.”
He repeats me, but I've already dismissed him in my mind.
Miss Evelyn goes back to talking about her gardens. For the next half an hour, the other Suitors and myself bide our time and wait for the hour to be up. It's awkward, being here, listening to her speak and ask questions of us, while we try to convince her that she should spend more time with one over the others. I've been here the longest, and I know how the game's played—even if lately, especially after last night, I don’t want to play it anymore.
When the clock in the corner chimes the hour, Miss Evelyn stands and all the Suitors rise as well, one-by-one going up to her to wish her a good day until the next time, each of us hoping that she'll chose one of us as her favored.
When everyone else has gone, and I'm the only Suitor left, I bow and wish her good day, but she doesn't return the greeting. Instead, she glances over to the Enforcer, then back at me.
Then she smiles that smile again, but her eyes reveal a worry I hadn't seen before. “I'm so glad you came today, Timothy. I was worried you'd decided not to be a Suitor anymore.”
The intimacy in her tone makes me lick my lips and look to the Enforcer to see if she's noticed it as well. But the girl is as expressionless as before. “No, Miss Evelyn. Of course not. I would never decide that.” I curse Eli and my own mom for their meddling this morning and for causing me to be late, and—I admit grudgingly—my hasty retreat last night.
Miss Evelyn grins at me and I can't help but return it as an irrational amount of relief and excitement buzzes through me when she says, “Excellent. Then I shall see you again?”
I know what she's really asking, and my heart skips. “Of course. As per usual,” I say, letting her know to meet me at our usual time and meeting place.
“Wonderful.” She smiles again.
“Until then, Miss Evelyn.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Hours later, I slip into the maintenance tunnel of my apartment and quietly follow the path I've walked a dozen or more times to our rendezvous spot. A spot only the two of us know about and even dare to enter. It should be perfectly safe, and far from the prying eyes of the Enforcers. I doubt that even they dare to enter the complete darkness of this spot.
Even still, I listen as carefully as I can to ensure it's safe and no one is hiding, then settle myself into a corner to wait.
This time she doesn't keep me long, and soon I feel her hand on my arm. Immediately, her touch causes goose bumps to pop up all over my skin. I'll never get over how quiet she is.
“Hi!” she whispers. The grin is clear as day in her voice, even if I can't see it. Just hearing her makes my insides jump all over the place.
“Hi back.” My heart beats an unsteady rhythm and I can't deny it any longer. Evangeline was right—at least about this one thing. That I’ve gone completely mad. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was just supposed to get her to choose me for her Suitor, so we would Couple, which would get me into the Palace Wing and—better yet—into Mother's trust. Then the Underground would do the rest.
It was supposed to be simple, but I’ve complicated it by falling helplessly and hopelessly in love with the enemy.
She settles herself beside me, her thigh pressing against mine. My fingers have the sudden itch to run over it, knowing I'd be able to touch the skin her skirt has left bare.
“I love this part of the day,” she says with a sigh.
I love you, I think, but only say, “Me, too.”
She leans her head on my shoulder and her fingers find mine, interlacing them together. A jolt of the same electricity from yesterday shoots throughout my body and I have to take a deep breath to relax myself.
We don't say anything. Tension is thick in the air, different from yesterday, but there still the same.
I need to ask her. I'm supposed to wait until she chooses me. There's protocol to follow, but I need her in my life. The whole of it. Not just during these stolen moments together. And hang Eli and his cold, unfeeling heart. He wouldn’t know love if it bit him.
“Evie?”
“Hmm?”
My heart trips in my chest. Relax, Timothy, I tell myself, and then square my shoulders and blurt out, “What would you say if I asked you to Couple with me?”
Her body tenses against mine and her hand trembles, but she doesn't say anything. I wish I could see her face. See the reaction. But I only sit, waiting for her answer.
Finally, she answers calmly, as if I’d asked her about the weather in the Agriculture Sector, “Well, I would probably say yes. That is, if you asked me correctly.”
The corners of my mouth creep up into a smile as relief pours through me.
I nudge her head with my shoulder so she sits up, and I turn so that I'm facing her.
“Miss Evelyn Winters, will you Couple with me?”
This time there is no hesitancy in her answer. “Yes. Absolutely.”
Even though I can just barely make out her outline, I push her hair over her shoulder, letting my fingers drag through the silky strands. Then, savoring the feel of her skin against mine, I trail my knuckles up her throat, over her chin and lips, before cupping her cheek in my palm.
Wonder fills me when she tilts her head, so that it fits nicely into my hand. I trace my thumb over her cheekbone. Mine, I think. She'l
l be mine and I'll be hers.
My clothing rustles as I lean forward. She shivers when my breath tickles her neck as I whisper, “I love you, Evie.”
“Timothy…” She starts to say, and I know she's going to say it back, but I'm filled with so much joy and want that I don't let her finish before I press my lips to hers. Her breath catches and her heart stutters under my palm.
My body is at odds with itself, and I know hers is, too. The part screaming at us to stop. To be more cautious, because an Enforcer could be hidden nearby and if we're caught, we're both dead. But there's a louder part of me that's making my blood boil with need and want. A part that says hang the consequences.
Unfortunately, the saner part of me prevails, and I pull back, moving my mouth to kiss just below her ear.
“You'll ask Mother?” I ask her. This part worries me, but she has to be the one to initiate this. It has to seem like it was her idea.
“Of course,” she says, her voice breathless. “The minute I get back.”
My lips curve against the skin of her neck. “Excellent.” I trace more kisses across her skin before, finally, sighing. “We'd better get back before anyone misses us.” We're so close; it would be devastating to get caught now.
She shivers delicately, but doesn't stop me from pulling away. She does keep my hand in hers. I squeeze it tightly. My clothes whisper as I stand, pulling her with me. She leads the way back toward the light, but I tug on her hand, pulling her into me. She falls into my chest, and I find her lips with mine again, my stomach twisting deliciously before I finally release her.
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