”Yes,” he said, suddenly wary for some reason. She could feel the muscles in his arm tense beneath her fingers.
”Why? It’s a good name, isn’t it?” He seemed so tense she couldn’t help but smile at him. Was he afraid she didn’t like his name?
”Yes, I love it. It’s beautiful. It suits you,” she added and blushed. Damn her blushing, she did it so easily. It was as if everything that went on inside her, every thought or feeling she had, was plainly visible on her face. It was very annoying, and more than a little embarrassing.
”Good, I’m glad you like it,” he said, but he was still on edge.
”It’s just,” she hesitated, not entirely sure she wanted to drag up these particular memories. She wasn’t sure she could handle it. Not tonight when she already felt so emotional and vulnerable. But he deserved an explanation, he felt so tense still. ”My mom’s favorite actor of all times was Montgomery Clift. I think she had a crush on him. She made me watch all of his movies with her when I was a teen. ’From here to eternity’ like five or six times. It must have been her favorite.” Her throat constricted with pain at the memory.
”Really?” he said, visibly relaxing. ”Montgomery Clift is who you associate me with?” He looked down at her and smiled, a strange look of relief on his face. As if he’d just been let off the hook, somehow. ”I guess it could have been worse,” he joked.
”Well, yeah, he was a good-looking man,” she teased.
”Yeah, I guess,” he conceded, a furrow popping up between his eyebrows. ”How good-looking exactly, would you say?”
She laughed at that, secretly thrilled that he didn’t seem very fond of the thought of her finding another man attractive.
”Very,” she couldn’t resist teasing, ”but don’t worry. The guy’s been dead for half a century, and I much prefer the living.” She released a huge smile in his direction, too happy this very moment to care about anything but the fact that she was here, with this amazing man, about to have dinner with him.
”Hmph.” He didn’t seem completely appeased by that. ”I guess I’ll have to content myself with that. For now at least.”
The maitre d’ led the way to the restaurant. There were lighted candles everywhere. Fresh flower arrangements adorned the gleaming antique furniture. It was beautiful and very romantic. She found herself wishing that this had been somewhere completely private, and that they could have had all this elegant beauty to themselves for the night. She took comfort in the thought that it was a Tuesday night. The restaurant would most likely be fairly empty of other patrons. If she was lucky, only a few other dinner parties to share the room with.
She was wrong. When they entered the grand eighteenth century ballroom that served as the dining area, it was completely void of other guests. She stopped, stunned, staring at the setup. There was only one table in the entire room. It was set for two, and placed against the backdrop of the floor-to-ceiling French windows leading out onto the huge terrace. There were tall white candles in a silver candelabra that shone a soft light over the table. Red, white and pink rose petals were strewn across the floor, beneath and around the table. At the grand piano at the opposite end of the room, a pianist was playing Beethoven’s ’Moonlight Sonata’.
”What is this?” she stammered in confusion.
”Do you like it?” Nate seemed to anxiously await her response.
”It’s beautiful, like a dream. I love it, but who’s it for?”
”It’s for you, of course.” He seemed confused at the question.
”For me?” She looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears. Oh, shit, she wasn’t going to be able to play it cool tonight, like she had planned. He was just too much, too… everything. Too good to be true. He looked at her, grabbing hold of her arms.
”What’s wrong, Olivia?” he asked, bewildered.
”Nothing,” she sobbed, the tears spilling over onto her cheeks. ”Nothing at all, everything’s perfect. I’m sorry I’m such a wuss. It’s just…no one’s ever done anything like this for me before.” She tried to turn off the waterworks and wiped in frustration at the tears.
Very carefully, as if he was holding a butterfly and didn’t want to frighten it, he reached up and caught the teardrops with his fingers. The sensation of his skin against hers immediately stopped the tears. She felt his touch in every cell of her body.
”Olivia…” he whispered, and it thrilled her immensely to hear him say her name with such longing tenderness.
”Maybe we should sit down?” she suggested, trying to distract herself before she threw herself at him right then and there.
He nodded, and then he took her hand and led her to her chair. He held it out for her and helped her get seated. She felt a little embarrassed at the chivalry, but also like a fairy-tale princess. She liked that feeling.
The maitre d’ materialized as if out of thin air. He took their drink orders. Olivia asked for something without alcohol and Nate looked a little surprised but didn’t say anything.
”How did you do all this?” she asked when they were alone again.
He smiled at her across the table.
”It wasn’t that difficult. They were very happy to oblige me, in fact.”
He looked down, a little embarrassed it seemed.
”I bet they were. Did you have to buy the whole castle?” she asked, only half-joking.
He laughed, and then he blushed slightly.
She’d made him blush! She felt her heart swell with tenderness. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one wearing her heart on her sleeve tonight.
”Anyway,” he tried to change the subject, ”so what did you study at university?”
She wasn’t going to let him off that easily. She reached across the table and put her hand over his much bigger one.
”However much this cost you, and I’m guessing a lot, I want you to know I really, truly appreciate it. I’ve never felt more special in my life. Thank you, Nate.”
He kept her eyes in his and then he squeezed her hand gently.
”My pleasure,” he simply said.
* * *
The evening passed all too quickly. The food was delicious and beautifully presented. The service attentive and discreet. She felt as if they were in their own little bubble, separate from the rest of the world. Nothing else existed but this moment with this man who fascinated her so.
They talked and talked and talked. Questions spilling out of both of them at the same time. Their curiosity about each other knew no bounds. She learned that he was the youngest of three brothers and had the battle scars to prove it. He seemed to belong to a large and close-knit family, and he spent as much time with them as possible. She learned that he hadn’t gone to college, but that he sometimes wished he had.
”What would you like to have studied?” she asked him.
”I love my job, I really do.” He looked out at the park beyond the terrace. ”But I sometimes wish I had taken the time to get an education first. I would have loved to study philosophy, especially political philosophy and the history of ideas.”
”Really?” she said. ”Those are fascinating subjects. I’m a huge history geek myself. But you can still do that. If you want to, of course.”
”So is history what you started studying before your mom died?” he asked softly.
”No,” she said. ”No, as a matter of fact, that first semester at university I was studying to become a nurse, like Mom.”
”Really? That’s quite a change in direction.”
”Yes,” she agreed. ”Before Mom died, I thought that I should be prudent, and get a practical education in a field where I could easily find work once I graduated. But my dream was always to write, in one way or another, and when Mom died I realized how fragile life is, and how short. I just didn’t feel like I had any more time to waste. So I started working full-time at the café and writing during my spare time. It makes me really happy, although I have yet to find a publisher who likes my writing.”
”You will
,” he said with conviction. ”With your mind and talent for story-telling, it’s just a matter of time.”
”Thank you,” she said, ”that’s very kind of you.”
”Just calling it like I see it.” He grinned at her, the soft candlelight endowing his mesmerizing eyes with a tantalizing depth.
He looked so handsome, sitting there opposite her, his dark, chocolate-colored hair in tousled waves at the crown and short on the sides and in the back. She hadn’t seen it before he came to pick her up, since he had worn a beanie during the day. It looked so effortlessly sexy - she longed to run her fingers through it. He was wearing a dark gray suit and a white silk shirt, but no tie. The top buttons of his shirt were carelessly undone and he looked incredibly sexy. She felt lucky just to get to sit there and enjoy his stunning male beauty.
”What are you thinking about?” he asked then. ”The color of your eyes just deepened into violet. I’m dying to know why that happens sometimes.”
She blushed, naturally. She couldn’t tell him exactly what she had been thinking. And she definitely couldn’t let him know the images she had been painting in her head, of the two of them together, naked, exploring each other’s bodies. She felt her blush deepen - no, she definitely couldn’t share that with him. She told him something else that was also true.
”I was thinking how happy I feel, sitting here with you and talking. I wish this night would never end.”
He looked at her, his face a canvas with deep emotions painted across it.
”So do I,” he said, and reached out and covered her hand with his. The electrifying touch of his warm, strong fingers once again stopped her breathing. She tried to think of something to say. Finally, she asked him to tell her more about his family.
He let go of her hand and leaned back a little in his chair.
”Let’s see, where to begin?” He thought for a while. ”Mom is a homemaker and my dad runs the ranch. She helps out, of course, and she can round up cattle with the best of them. But basically it’s a very traditional marriage they have. Although, I never got the impression, growing up, that what she did around the house was any less important work than what Dad does out on the ranch. They seem to value each other’s hard work equally.”
”How did they meet?”
He looked at her and smiled.
”They met in high school. My dad courted my mother, who was a year behind him, all through high school, trying to convince her he was the guy for her. Apparently, she took a lot of convincing.” He smiled wryly. ”She thought he was just a cocky jock, which he probably was, being the quarterback of the school’s football team and everything. She was the opposite of him - a very conscientious student, captain of the debate team and all that. She suggested, multiple times, that he should turn his attentions to one of all the other girls, who were swarming around him, instead. But he was persistent. He knew she was the one he wanted, so he kept at it until she finally agreed to go on a date with him. That was at the beginning of his Senior year and they have been together ever since. They seem very happy.”
He looked at her, letting his eyes sweep over her until they came to rest on her face.
”I’ve lived in the presence of their love my whole life, and I truly believe that you can fall in love with that one special person, and then stay together for the rest of your lives.”
She felt her heart beat faster. The woman he eventually fell in love with and married would be one lucky girl. She wouldn’t let herself even wish that girl could be her, because she knew it was impossible. And she had promised herself she wouldn’t ruin this evening wishing for things to be something they weren’t.
”Would you like to go for a walk in the park?” he asked after a little while.
”Yes, I’d love to,” she said, desperate for anything that would prolong the evening. It was already midnight, and she had to get up early for work the next day, but she didn’t care if she didn’t get any sleep at all tonight. She just wanted to hoard every last second with him.
”All right then,” he said, and let loose his gorgeous smile at her.
* * *
When they stepped outside the clouds were gone, and a myriad of stars greeted them. He took her hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and started walking along a path winding through the park. There were lanterns hanging from the trees, spreading a soft light on their path.
”Did you arrange for this as well?” she asked, indicating the lights.
”Yes,” he admitted. ”Just in case you wanted to go for a walk after dinner. I didn’t want you to have to walk around in the dark.”
”That’s very considerate of you,” she said, her heart singing in her chest.
They walked in silence for a while. He stopped and turned to her, in front of one of the many sculptures populating the castle grounds.
”Olivia,” he began and then he hesitated, struggling for words.
”Yes?” she breathed.
”Would it be very wrong of me to kiss you right now?” he asked, holding her hands in his, caressing them softly with his thumbs.
She looked up at him, longing filling her whole being.
”Please,” she whispered, stepping closer to him.
He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. His other hand wound itself through her hair and he tilted her head a little as he met her lips with his own. She threw her arms around his neck, letting her fingers run through his hair. She could feel him tremble slightly beneath her hungry hands. His kiss was gentle and very tender at first, but the hard length of his body against her ignited some long buried fire in her. She pressed herself as close to him as she could get, and kissed him back with total abandon. He moaned in response and let all caution go, his tongue mating with hers in an ancient dance.
She felt as if she was flying through the starry heavens, her head spinning, her body shivering with pleasure. A raging throb pulsated in the pit of her stomach and spread down between her thighs. They kissed as if there was no tomorrow, and there wasn’t. Not for them at least.
She had no idea how long they had been kissing but finally he reluctantly pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.
”Olivia, my beautiful Olivia. What are we going to do?” he groaned.
She shivered, suddenly feeling bereft, now that his lips had left hers.
He misinterpreted it as cold, and opened his jacket to pull her inside it, holding her tight to his chest. She took full advantage of his chivalry, and wound her arms around his steely waist, warming her hands on his back. She leaned her head on his chest and inhaled. He smelled so good. She couldn’t resist reaching up and kissing the lightly tanned skin showing through his unbuttoned shirt, at the base of his neck.
”Shit, Olivia,” he shivered beneath her tongue. ”You’re driving me insane, woman!” He grabbed her face and tilted it so he could look in her eyes.
”I thought I was strong enough to not ask for more than this one evening with you. But I’m not. The thought of never seeing you again is too much for me to bear. I cannot leave you and let you be. I’m not strong enough. God knows I ought to, but I can’t.” His jaw tightened as he seemed to search her eyes for something.
”Now that I found her, how can I just turn away and let her go?” he murmured into her hair.
”Then don’t,” she said.
He looked down at her upturned face, a conflict raging across his own.
”Olivia,” he finally said, ”my life is so complicated. I don’t want to drag you into all of that. You deserve so much better.”
”You’re not dragging me into anything,” she protested. ”I’ll run willingly into it, if you’ll have me.” She didn’t dare believe he did want her enough to risk all the complications of a long-distance relationship, but hope swelled in her when she saw the longing in his eyes.
”We could try, I guess,” he said at last. ”But if the craziness of my life gets to be too much for you, Olivia, you must promise me
you’ll tell me at once.” He looked so serious. She longed to ease whatever it was that had him so worried. ”You are so pure, so alive, I could never forgive myself if something in my world took that away from you. You must promise me that you’ll tell me if it gets to be too much for you, okay?”
”I promise,” she smiled, too delirious with happiness at the thought that perhaps this wasn’t the end after all, to notice the fear in his eyes.
She reached up to kiss him, and with a deep moan he yielded to her raging demand. He murmured her name, his hands caressing her, as if to ascertain that she was real. She grabbed his shirt and molded herself to him, opening both her mouth and her heart to him at the same time. He claimed her mouth with his tongue, searching out her every secret with a fierce hunger. She had never felt such bliss before, but it was a bittersweet bliss - she knew they were quickly running out of time.
After what seemed a painfully short time of kisses and caresses, he pulled away from her and tucked her inside his jacket again. He held her close, his breath touching the crown of her head as he spoke.
”My plane leaves in a few hours. I have to call and arrange for my bags to be taken to the airport, and then I’ll take you home, like I promised your brothers. I wouldn’t want to get into a fight with them,” he joked.
”Okay.” It was all she could manage, trying her hardest not to show the numbing pain she felt at the thought of him leaving. He seemed to sense her despair, because he tipped her head up so he could look into her eyes.
”Olivia, I will be back, as soon as I can. I have made up my mind, come hell or high water, I will come back to you. We will make this work, somehow. I just have some important business to attend to, back home. But as soon as I can arrange it, I will clear my schedule and fly over here again.”
”When do you think that will be?” she asked, her voice so quiet she could hardly hear it herself.
He touched her face with his thumbs, as if he was memorizing it, or maybe he was trying to comfort her.
Destined for the Star (Starstruck) Page 5