Turning back to look out the windshield as I feel the truck take a hard left, he swerves across the lane and is headed toward the trees.
As the truck leaves the road and gets bumpy, I try and brace myself with my knees to my chest as tight as I can. I need to protect Jacob. I hold my left hand to the dashboard and hang on to the door with my right as we plummet down. As we hit the tree, the windshield shatters and my face hits my knees.
I look over to my right and everything goes dark.
***
Seeing Holly’s blonde hair peek into the truck as I scream for help, bleeding and hopeless...she's given me that. Hope. She's telling me to hold on and that help is on the way. Carter too, since I keep screaming for him.
The ambulance arrives and I'm carefully removed from the truck. As I'm being pushed into the ambulance, he comes- Carter. My angel of darkness coming to be my white knight.
He comes over to me as I cry out for him, he holds my hand and doesn't let go. No words are said, they don't need to be. Carter and I have always been able to speak wordless conversations and this is no different. He rides with me to the hospital, and kisses my head as I'm whisked away to emergency surgery. They need to perform an emergency c-section to get Jacob out.
I'm so scared, shaking and crying. I don't know what's happening. My face and wrist hurt but very little compared to my heart…I'm losing my baby, I know it.
Carter hasn't left my side, even during the c-section and he's the first to hold Jacob. I keep a connected eye with him as he holds him close, a flit of emotions running across his face. Something I will never forget. The clench of his jaw held in all the anger, sadness, and awe.
He looks to me and gives me his small smile, the one that always carries devastation but he doesn't want to be the one to tell me.
That's when I hear the doctor say it ...“Not much time.” My baby won't have much time and that's why he wasn't being whisked away. There was nothing left to do. It's all happening so fast!
I want to hold my baby if I only have a small window of time...I want to love him. My tiny purple tinged son that fits into the palm of my hands, the baby the doctors say won't live. I won't let them touch my wrist or face before I've had my time with my baby. I’ll never have this time with him again and it breaks my heart and splits my soul to know it.
Carter hands me my baby, wrapped in a blanket way too big for his tiny little body. I just stare in awe and in pain at the little boy that now carries my heart on the outside of my body. I start to pull him to my chest. The nurse understands what I'm doing and helps me pull down my gown to expose my breasts. With her help, I carefully place Jacob against my skin and feel his tiny heartbeat against my own. Looking to her as the tears cascade down my face, she nods her head and turns to write in my chart, giving me my moment with my son. I don't miss the tears in her eyes as she does. No mother should ever hold her baby and know it's the last time. No one. No one should ever feel this helpless devastation I'm feeling right now.
Carter silently lends me his strength as he places his large hand over mine, holding the tiny blanket to my chest. Just looking to him I crumble and the sob escapes me violently. I can't catch my breath, it hurts so badly. He moves without thought to sit on the bed with me and drops down to my side, nodding sadly in understanding.
Looking into his eyes, I see them shimmer. He's lost and doesn't know what to do in this moment. It's communicated all the same with a small nod. This isn't how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to raise this baby together. He as his doting daddy.
The odds weren't good that delivering at only twenty-four weeks that he would survive or be without complications. The silence is deafening as it stretches before me. I can hear the tick of the clock, the beeps of the monitors, my breathing in my ears. I'm unaware of the amount of time that's passed as I feel his tiny heartbeat getting weaker against mine beating wildly in my chest. I want so badly for my heart to make his beat. He has a small monitor on his foot to monitor his heart rate. I can't bear to look at the monitor to confirm what I already know. The time is here.
I kiss his tiny head and cry into the little crown that would no doubt have some hair if he had had the chance to develop further. The lights are so bright they hurt my sensitive eyes in the sterile room made up of white walls, white floors, and white bedding.
All I want is darkness and for it to swallow us up. Jacob, and Carter, and me. And to just keep us here together. Carter rubs my hand quietly while giving me my moment with our son. Hearing the monitor beep slowly, the nurse comes over and switches it to silent. It's now that I feel the final few beats of Jacob’s tiny underdeveloped heart fade away. The lines on the monitor are flat, confirming what I already know.
My sweet baby boy that never had the chance to truly live is gone.
Looking to the nurse and to Carter as I sob loudly, I cradle his tiny body tighter to mine. I don't want them to take him away just yet, I need a few more moments. She nods to me and leaves the room, no doubt to let the staff know of my deceased child.
Twenty-nine minutes…that's the time I've with my son outside of my womb.
THE DAYS THAT follow, I'm lost in a daze. Trent was picked up soon after the truck was found with me inside, smashed to the tree. He had bailed after the crash, apparently not even phased. He's sitting in a cell, while I'm standing in a funeral home preparing the final goodbyes. I have a few cuts to my head and a broken wrist on my right hand where I braced myself on the dashboard. My left one was protecting my child I couldn't protect. My parents had arrived at the hospital after Jacob was already gone, but I still clutched his lifeless body to mine hours later, just numb. They stand with me now at the funeral home, as does Carter. I know he wanted nothing more than to go after Trent that night, but he chose to come to me, knowing I needed him. Him being with me in this was hard, but it means so much to me. More than I have the willpower to relay.
The casket, which resembles more of a small ice chest, is closed. I didn't know that Carter had taken a few pictures on his phone to capture the time I had with our son, as did the nurse with his phone of the three of us, as well as Carter and Jacob. He somehow knew I would need to call upon these one day. He printed them for me and they're clutched tightly in my hand as I stand here staring mindlessly just nodding my head or shaking it when I'm spoken to. I don't think I've really even heard what's been said to me, I'm on autopilot. Andrea has checked out and her shell is in its place.
***
The service is small, which was what I had requested. Carter’s never left my side, even as I stand at the tiny casket for a final goodbye. The music switches from “Amazing Grace” to “Footprints in the Sand” by Leona Lewis. As I listen to the words standing here holding my stomach, my womb now empty, Carter puts his arm around my waist and pulls me to his side. Lending me his strength.
The words hit me now. “I promise you, I'm always there. When your heart is full of sorrow and despair. And I'll carry you, when you need a friend. You'll find my footprints in the sand.” I turn my face to his chest and grip his shirt as the full sobs take hold of me. I cry the hurtful tears of pain into his chest as I crumble in his arms. He catches me as my knees buckle and just rubs his hand up and down my back, rocking me from side to side as he kisses the top of my head.
I can feel his own tears as they hit the top of my head and feel his stomach and chest contract with his own crying. I lost my child and he grieves for me, for us, and with me. He held our son like he was his own and never left. I know now that he chose this, to communicate to me that he's here, and always had been.
The End
(For Now)
Find more of Carter and Andrea's story in Out of the Storm released July 22, 2017
Out of the Storm https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0745YPK3D/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_71iXzbW73Y92Z
Enchantress Trinity’s Secret Book of Spells
By: Jillian Elizabeth
Coming Fall 2017
A fun book for the kids to enjoy!
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NARC
By: Jillian Elizabeth
Coming Winter 2018
My name is Sam Spencer, I'm a Detective for Oakland County. I do whatever it takes to bring people down that I need to, including going undercover and embedding myself with the enemy.
I go by many names and change my appearance however I see fit for the particular job. They never know I'm law enforcement, and when I go in I get deep.
I'm afraid that one day I'm going to go in so deep that I won't even know who I really am anymore. It's a scary part of the job, but it's what I do.
I wasn't expecting to meet Faith Hernandez, I never thought I could fall for someone so deeply while being embedded. Her family is in deep with running drugs and weapons in my county and it's me who's going to bring them down.
I just hope I can stay in long enough to get her out.
One look at her olive complexion, sage green eyes, and flowing black hair and I was ready to give up my entire world to keep her safe.
She doesn't know who I am. She doesn't know why I'm really here. I just hope that when she finally finds out who I am, she doesn't hate me. I'm a Narc, an undercover detective with a job to do.
I'll either take them all down, or die trying.
At Last
A Novella
By: Jillian Elizabeth
Coming Late Winter 2018
While Andrea Jensen was met with a hurricane of a past and finally reunited back with her lifelong love, Carter Avery, they made it out of the storm.
When they almost lost it all, fate stayed true and kept them whole. Their happiness and their love for each other has shined through all the storms and they have come out on the other side so much stronger.
Walk with Andrea and Carter as they make their life's dream come true with a little ‘I do’.
Be with them as their world is finally made whole…… At Last.
Kissed by Cupid
By: Jillian Elizabeth
Coming February 2018
A Valentine Novella
Austin Moore is a busy city girl with a career that keeps her hopping. Even with dates that fall flat, leaving her with a non-existent love life, she dreams of finding the one. If only the men she dated could compare to the one who invades her sleep every night.As the maid of honor in her best friend's Valentine's Day wedding, she feels the pressure of having a date by her side. Will Cupid use this special day to help Austin follow her heart? Will the magic around this day finally give her what she dreams of most?
I would like to first and foremost thank my family for their support through every new avenue I take in my life. You may not always agree with it, but you support me in all ways. Your support has helped me to be the person I am today and I don't know where I would be without you.
To my sweet girls, Bailey and Kamryn. You have been my rocks and keep me going every day. I love you so very much, and I am the luckiest mom in the world to be able to call you mine. Never be afraid to take chances and follow your heart. New doors and windows will always open, don't just step through them...jump!
To my friends that have supported me since I decided I wanted to try something totally new. I never thought I would write anything, didn't think I could. You lifted me when I needed it, and I cannot thank you enough.
This story is my second publish, but it was originally my first story started. Having an emotional story like this was hard for me, I felt wrong bringing Trent and Andrea's story first. So I published Out of the Storm first. Wasn't necessarily conventional, but that's how I needed to do it. And so we now have a prequel. I just hope I've given everyone the story they wanted to have, I pray everyone loves my characters once again.
I've taken the reviews from Out of the Storm and used them to better answer questions. I know that not every story is for everyone, we all have personal reasons behind every story we read or write. I appreciate your time reading my story so very much!
I don't want to miss anyone, but you all know who you are and I love you.
To my beta readers- Ninfa, Chantal, Cristina, Ann, Denise, Kayla, Tiffany, Jen, and Danielle. Thank you for once again taking on this ride with me, I am so very grateful to you. Many of you stuck with me from the first story, and some of you jumped on with me after I published my first. You took your own time to read my words and give me feedback quickly. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done for me. You're amazing!
Virginia Tesi Carey (My Editor) - You worked my story over and made it beautiful. Thank you for taking this ride with me again, giving me your thoughts, and editing it to shine just like it should. You worked quickly and I can't thank you enough! Your patience with me is amazing and I kept the deadline moving further and further away, I appreciate you so very much!
Emma Rider (AWT Cover Design) - Thank you for being my perfect Andrea muse. Working with you has been so great. You've helped me to create so many things, and having you grace my cover just makes it shine brighter with your beautiful face! My teasers you create have been beautiful, and I feel like you just read my brain in everything I'm looking to create. I look forward to signing with you as a fellow author, working with your design for more teasers and covers; but overall I'm thankful for your friendship.
Marisa-Rose Robyn (Cover Me Darling Cover Design) - Thank you for creating such an amazingly beautiful cover together with Emma. You had no idea when you made this premade that it was absolutely perfect for my story, right down to the name. I hope my story has done your cover justice, and look forward to working with you again in the future.
To all that have taken the time to read my story. You mean so much to me. As a new author, having anyone want to read what I've written, and if I touched you in any way please reach out to let me know. I welcome you to join my reading group- Reading With Jilly, and to message me anytime. I would love to speak with you all and keep you updated for anything written in the future.
I truly hope you've enjoyed reading about Trent and Andrea's story, and how her love for Carter will always overcome any obstacle.
Table of Contents
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Into Your Hurricane Page 15