The fugitive took the necklace, stared at his love’s image, snapped it shut, and pushed it into his pocket. He couldn’t tell her he loved her; that wasn’t fair with him deserting her. Anguish knifed his heart as he realized the wonderful life that was being stolen from him. He stroked her unbound hair and caressed her cheek, then dropped his hands to his sides. “I’m sorry, Jess. I’ll miss you.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes. “I’ll miss you, too.” She went into his arms and hugged him. “So much,” she murmured. She lifted her head and rose on her tiptoes to kiss him. It was a bittersweet kiss that revealed love and torment, and he returned it urgently. She didn’t try to cling to him when he pulled away, looked at her, then went and mounted his horse.
Jessie stood on the back porch, returned his last emotionfilled gaze, then watched his departure. She understood and shared his anguish and resentment. Something real and important had entered his life at last, but he couldn’t grasp or keep it. This denial was the greatest cruelty of all, but she was helpless to save him. Not once had he said, I love you, though she knew it was so. If only she could be as convinced he would return one day. But somehow, a feeling of finality—like that of her father’s death weeks ago—surrounded her. For the first time, hopelessness consumed Jessie. Tears escaped her eyes and flowed down her cheeks, and she hurried inside to let them flow freely, knowing her life was riding away from her this glorious day in June.
Chapter Sixteen
On Tuesday, Mary Louise came to the office where Jessie was awaiting her. The lawyer explained the papers and had both women sign them. There were three originals: one for each woman and one for the lawyer’s files. Jessie gave her sister forty thousand dollars, and Mary Louise signed she had received it. Both agreed that the balance of payments were due in equal installments each June for eight years. He told them the deal was legal and final, then left them alone to talk.
Since they might never see each other again, Jessie said kindly, “It’s done, Mary Louise. Why not part as friends? I love you, and I’m sorry life didn’t work out for you here. I hope you’ll be happy back East, and please be careful. You’re a rich woman, and people might try to take advantage of you. Write us when you get settled.”
“Don’t be nice when it’s too late, Jessica. If you’re hoping I’ll cancel your debt to me because I’m wealthy now, you’re wrong. I’ll never come home again. I hated it here. You and Father almost got us all killed.”
Jessie was provoked by the girl’s hostility. “Papa might still be alive if you hadn’t framed Navarro and gotten him fired. If he hadn’t been so troubled over his war with Fletcher and with you, he wouldn’t have been there alone. You have your freedom and money, so I hope you enjoy them. They carried a big price.”
“You fool. Father didn’t fire him because of me. He knew I was lying. He did it to keep you and Navarro apart. You’re all he’s ever cared about and he couldn’t risk losing you to another man. If you believed you could win a wild and dangerous man like that drifter, you’re crazy. He’s selfish and unfeeling. Tell me, what did you give him for this money?” she asked, tapping the bulging bag. “I know he stole it from Wilbur. I’m sure it had a big price, too.”
“You’re the one who’s selfish and unfeeling, Mary Louise. I pity you. One day, money and looks won’t be enough to protect you from life or make you happy.”
“Says the miserable creature to the rich and respected widow. I’ll bet you rolled in the grass with him many times. He’s probably waiting for you in your room this very minute for a wild celebration.”
“He’s gone. His job is done. He left yesterday morning.”
“Because you aren’t woman enough to hold him. You’re too much like Father.”
“I’m sorry you resent me so much, little sister. I’ve suspected it for a long time, but I prayed it wasn’t true. If Mama hadn’t died when you were so young, maybe you would be different. Maybe you would possess a heart and a conscience. Maybe you would love home and family as the rest of us do.”
“Mother’s death isn’t responsible for the way I am: Father is. He sent me away like unwanted baggage. I was alone and afraid. I made myself tough and smart. Then he forced me back to this savage land. He ignored me and was hateful to me. And to Tom. Only you pleased him and earned his love and respect.”
“You’re wrong, but I’m still not sure you know why. I’ll tell you. Besides your sorry attitude and defiance, you’re Mama’s reflection. Haven’t you noticed that in the mirror? You stare into it enough to have seen the truth. You were a constant reminder of what he lost. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved her so much and he was so lonely without her. He loved you, too, but he didn’t know how to show it, especially with you being so hateful and cold. The same is true of Tom. Papa blamed himself for Tom’s problems. They made him feel helpless. It hurt him to watch Tom suffer. You’ve done your best to make everyone miserable. Go back East to the life you crave. I hope you find happiness there, and I hope you face the truth before it’s too late.”
“I will be more than happy; I’ll be ecstatic. Wilbur’s businesses and fortune are mine now. I’ll live in grand style and leisure while you grub in the dirt and smelly manure to eke out a simple life. Be glad I accepted your meager offer until I could get my affairs settled. Be glad my marriage to him profited both of us.”
“There’s no need for us to continue this destructive talk. If you want to see Gran and Tom, do so; we’ll be leaving in an hour. Good-bye, Mary Louise.”
“Good-bye, Jessica. You’ve seen the last of me.”
Jessie’s intuition told her that last statement wasn’t true, and she felt a surge of dread.
The following dawn, Jessie gathered the eggs and released the chickens from their coop so they could go scratching. She milked the cows and set them free in their confining pasture near the barn, then grabbed a pitchfork and tossed hay to the horses kept in the nearby corral. Several hands offered to assist her, but she declined their help. She needed hard work to occupy her mind. So many changes had occurred in her life lately, and she hadn’t adjusted to them yet.
Matt witnessed the turmoil in Jessie and let her be without intruding. He went about his business, taking as much of the load as possible off her shoulders. Yet he found himself checking the horizon every so often to see if Navarro Jones was riding back to stake a claim on the woman they both loved.
When he sighted a lone rider that afternoon, he stiffened, but it was only Slim with the mail. He smiled as Slim handed him some letters without dismounting, tipped his hat, and left. He had forgotten this was one of the two days Slim was paid to deliver the mail each month.
Jessie ripped open the letter from the Cattlemen’s Association and read it aloud to the foreman. “A little late, but good news,” she remarked. “I wonder if I’m the first female rancher they’ve asked to join them.”
“You going to?” he asked, noting the pleased and proud look in her gaze.
“Yep. I want as much power and influence as I can get before another Fletcher comes along. Besides, it’s good business. I tried to get Papa to join, but he refused. After those Spanish Fever and Panic scares, I was surprised he didn’t. I know it’s only been in existence a few years, but banding together will make us all stronger. We’ll attend their next meeting in Dodge after the cattle drive.”
Thursday, Jessie, Matt, and some of her hands rode to the Bar F Ranch. The foreman selected which men he would keep on their payroll. Some were assigned to tend the pigs, chickens, stock, and garden. The chuckhouse cook was retained to feed them. Miguel and Carlos were asked to be assistant foremen over their new hands. Matt thought it wisest to mix the two sets of cowboys, and divided them between the two settlements as needed.
Jessie walked through the house with Matt. The first floor contained an enormous living area with a fireplace, couch, several chairs, tables with hand-painted oil lamps, costly paintings, fragile vases, a liquor bar with crystal glasses and a fine mirror,
masculine desk, and billiard table. She envisioned a loving couple living there, then a happy family. Her mind easily pictured a husband stoking a cozy fire with children playing near its warmth on a wintry day. She imagined the couple snuggled together on the couch after their little ones were tucked in bed—kissing, talking, and sharing everything in their lives. Her mind’s eye saw her filling the expensive vases with colorful flowers and filling the lovely lamps with oil.
The dreamy-eyed redhead cleared her tight throat and scolded her wandering thoughts as she realized the face of the man in her fantasy kept fading from Navarro’s to Mathew Cordell’s! She presumed it was because Matt was a homebody, a rancher, a familiar companion; while Navarro Breed was a camper and a drifter. It was difficult to imagine Navarro being comfortable in a house like this. Jessie cast aside such painful thoughts and comparisons.
She had never seen anything so grand. Matt followed her into a large dining room with Spanish furniture that matched the hacienda style of the house, then into a well-designed kitchen, and finally to a bathing closet on the back porch. They peeked inside and were amazed by the luxury they observed.
“He certainly enjoyed living high and fine, Matt. It’s beautiful, all of it.”
Matt liked the house and the emotions it stirred within him. He wondered why he wasn’t uneasy in this opulent setting that should make a cowpoke feel as corraled as a Sunday suit and a choking necktie. He realized it was because Jessie was with him and because she liked the house, too, and fit perfectly into its surroundings. Nothing of Fletcher’s wicked aura lingered there. It was a tranquil and inviting home, one he would enjoy living in with her.
They went upstairs wide-eyed and in silence. They saw a spacious area with a fireplace to warm the second floor. It opened into two charming guestrooms, an extra room, and finally the master suite. At one end of the large yet intimate suite were a closet and a bathing room, and each had a window facing the front yard. At the other was an inviting, private sitting area. The furniture was massive and dark, but artistically carved. To her surprise, the decor was lovely.
Both gazed at the large bed that looked comfortable and enticing. Both imagined sharing it with a mate and making passionate love there.
Those sensual thoughts stimulated Matt. He walked into the bathing closet and glanced out the front window. He needed to master the runaway emotions that the seductive setting had aroused. He mustn’t close in on Jessie until she pulled free of Navarro, and there hadn’t been enough time for that. But Matt’s romantic fantasy was powerful and tempting, and he yearned to make it a reality.
Jessie observed Matt’s broad back and pondered his curious behavior. His body had stiffened, his gaze seemed guilty, and his face looked slightly flushed. Perhaps the intimate setting disquieted him or gave him romantic daydreams similar to those she was experiencing. She noticed how his brown hair teased at his collar and how well his garments fit his muscular frame. He was handsome and appealing, more so than she had ever realized. He would make some lucky woman a fine husband, and he would be a marvelous father. Jessie felt envious of the female who would share such love and happiness, when she herself was so denied. She hoped the woman would be worthy of Mathew Cordell.
Jessie’s gaze returned to the bed. She couldn’t help but wonder how different it would be to share it with Matt rather than Navarro. Her foreman clearly had the traits of a loyal husband and good father. Would a wild and restless drifter like Navarro Breed feel tied down by such responsibilities? Could the fugitive change and settle down, if not for his peril? Her serene mood faded with such worries and doubts.
“Ready to go, Matt?” she asked, needing fresh air and a change of scene.
He turned and smiled. “Yep, but I sure do like it here. A fine home, Jessie.”
“Yes, it is, Matt,” she admitted. “For the right couple.”
Outside, she glanced back at the facade of creamy redtrimmed stucco. Two arched windows were in the dining room and two in the living area. On the second floor, smaller versions were in the same places, in addition to one above the front door. A wall encircled the house, and colorful flowers and bushes were planted in spots along the matching stucco fence. She and Matt walked beneath the arched entrance, then smiled at each other, as if agreeing once more.
“I’ll bet Mary Louise hated to leave this house,” Jessie said. “Fletcher clearly put a lot of money and effort into it. Get Miguel and Carlos to lock it up for now. I’ll decide what to do about it later. I’m sure some of the things inside are very valuable. Tell them to keep an eye on it.” She took one last look at the place and left.
On Friday, Jessie wrote her letter of acceptance to the Cattlemen’s Association and thanked them for inviting her to join. She related the news of Wilbur Fletcher’s death and the circumstances behind it, proving her allegations.
Matt sent Big John Williams to oil the windmills around both properties, and Jefferson Clark went as his assistant. The foreman assigned several men to begin a new hayshed in the pasture and showed them where to construct it. Other hands were put to work on the garden, which was coming back nicely.
Tom was still either in bed or relaxing in a chair until his wound healed completely. Gran fussed over her two grandchildren every day.
As Jessie did the Saturday-afternoon milking, Matt returned from his tasks and joined her. She glanced up and said, “I still miss Sookie and Bess. I guess it’s strange how milk cows become like pets. I miss Scout and Buck, too. I’d like to get another dog. You think any of the people in town have one?”
“Next time I go for supplies, I’ll check around…You doing all right, Jessie?” he added hesitantly.
She caught his meaning. “Yes, but it’s hard some days.” Her hands halted their milking motions and she glanced at him over the cow’s back. He was so kind and thoughtful, and she was grateful to have him. “It was terrible when Mama died, but it was worse with Papa. He and I were closer. His death was so violent, Matt. Do you think he suffered much?”
Matt rested his arms over the cow’s back. “I pray not, Jessie. A wound like his usually kills fast. Try not to think about it.”
She went back to work. “I can’t help it, Matt. I keep wondering if his killer was punished. How do we know the murderer was one of the men with Fletcher that day? He could be free while my father’s dead.”
“You have to believe he was slain with the others, Jessie, or it’ll drive you loco. If he wasn’t, he’ll get his due some day.”
“I guess you’re right.” Jessie was pained by her recent losses, apprehensive about her. enormous responsibilities, and soul-weary after the long struggle for survival and peace. There was so much to do. “Matt, you wouldn’t ever …”
When she hesitated, the foreman coaxed, “Ever what, Jessie?”
“Leave again, would you? I don’t know what I would do if you left me, too. I depend on you so much. You’re my strength and courage, my right hand. I trust you for advice. You’d never let me fail or quit. Being with you and talking with you is so comfortable and easy. We’ve been good friends for a long time, Matt. I just want you to know how much I need you and appreciate you.”
“Even if there’s another war, I won’t desert you, Jessie. I don’t have any hankering to see other places. I’m happy here; this is my home and family.”
“What about your brother? Do you hear from him much?”
“About once a year. I can’t write him ‘cause he’s always on the move, like Navarro…You miss him, don’t you?”
“Yes. He was a good friend. He risked a lot to help us. I wish he had stayed. He’s a lonely and troubled man. We could have been good for him.”
“He was trouble, Jessie. I can’t explain how or what, but he had a devil on his back. A man trying to buck one of those off is dangerous to be around.”
“You’re right again, but I’m sorry you are. Let’s drop all this depressing talk. We need to decide what to do about Fletcher’s brand. There’s no way we can change a bar F
to a boxed L. I guess, just keep them with Fletcher’s brand; we have proof of purchase. You still think it’s all right for us to leave tomorrow?”
“Yep. The men have their orders. I put Rusty in charge over here, Miguel and Carlos over there. They have plenty to keep them busy. If there’s any minor trouble, we have enough hands to deal with it. We need to get to San Antonio and pick out those new bulls before breeding season. After we choose them, it’ll take the boys weeks to drive them home across country.”
“I’ll be packed and ready to leave early tomorrow. The stage goes out of Fort Stockton at eight Monday morning. We’ll be there in three days. That’s a lot easier than horseback across country, and a much shorter trip. Maybe we’ll have some fun there. Lord knows we need it and deserve it. You take your suit, and I’ll take my prettiest dress. We just might kick up our heels, Mister Foreman.”
As Jessie stretched out in her bed, assorted images and worries flooded her mind. It had been such a depressing day, and she didn’t know why. The meeting with the new men at Fletcher’s—no, her—ranch had passed without a hitch. Everything was going fine, except for Navarro’s departure on Monday.
Yet, a terrible sensation of…She didn’t know how to explain it, but an awful feeling of doom had attacked her two days ago and still lingered in her mind. She wished she could grasp its meaning, if it had one. Perhaps she was only exhausted and tense.
She must accept losing Navarro, as a life with him was impossible, would always be impossible. His parting words were wise and true. They had been rocks and havens for each other when each needed them desperately. Yet if they weren’t meant to share a destiny, why was their love so strong and their separation so painful?
Chapter Seventeen
Follow The Wind Page 36