by Mary Monroe
“I guess he didn’t.” Maureen sniffed.
Mel Ross had never really loved Loretta, but she had been the best business opportunity he had ever encountered—until he met another girl who was even more gullible, more beautiful, and more ambitious than Loretta. Most importantly, the newer model was an even bigger love-struck fool. Being the astute businessman that he was, Mel had traded one fool for another. Now Loretta was devastated.
“Before we could even get settled in good, he started actin’ crazy up here,” she growled. “Women were callin’ our place all hours of the day and night, and all the while he was tellin’ me they were callin’ about business! How many models or magazine people call up photographers in the middle of the night? He thought I was a fool!”
“Oh, like me, huh?”
“You don’t have to rub it in. You don’t have to say it because I already know how bad you want to say ‘I told you so.’ ”
“Well, I never said that, but I’m glad you brought it up.” Maureen couldn’t remember the last time she felt as smug as she did now. Had she no longer cared about Loretta, she probably would have laughed and danced a jig. “I’m just sorry that you had to be the woman who did me the favor of takin’ Mel off my hands. I knew how anxious you were to marry him.”
Loretta didn’t respond right away. Maureen thought that maybe it was because now that Loretta knew what it felt like to be betrayed, she was wondering how she was going to make up for all of those nasty words she’d hurled at Maureen the first time she’d called. Maybe she was truly sorry about what she had done and was trying to ease her way back into Maureen’s life. But from what Loretta had said so far, it didn’t sound like she wanted to come home.
“There’s a new man in my life already. I will love him until the day I die,” Loretta gushed. She had said the exact same thing about Mel.
Maureen couldn’t resist the urge to remind Loretta of that. “Just like you were goin’ to do with Mel, huh?”
“What?”
“That’s the same thing you said about Mel. Word for word. Don’t you remember?”
“Oh well. I was wrong! I’m not wrong this time. I’ve met a wonderful man. I love him and he loves me!”
Maureen closed her eyes, rubbed her eyelids, and shook her head. Her eyes were burning when she opened them again. “I hope it wasn’t love at first sight this time too,” she said with a profound sigh.
“It wasn’t. I’ve known Kyle for a few weeks, and we just recently realized how much we care about each other.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that things are workin’ out for you, Lo’retta. No matter what you did, I still want the best for you. I just hope that you will make better choices in the future.”
“Uh, there’s somethin’ else. The reason I really called.”
Maureen felt her entire body get tense. If Loretta was calling to ask if she could come home, would she allow her to do so? The thought of having her back under the same roof gave Maureen an instant headache. How would she deal with that? The bottom line was, if Loretta wanted to come home, Maureen couldn’t turn her away. What else could she do?
“What did you really call me for, Lo’retta?” Maureen held her breath.
Several moments of ominous silence passed. Loretta coughed again. “Mama . . . I called to tell you that I’m goin’ to have Mel’s baby.”
“Oh.” Maureen wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there until she died. How in the world would she be able to live under the same roof with Loretta and Mel’s baby? What would people say? Maureen knew that Catty and Fast Black would preach her funeral and talk about her so badly she’d probably have to sever her relationship with them. She had no idea how Virgil and Corrine would react to this disturbing news. But Loretta was still her daughter and she couldn’t turn her back on her and her unborn baby.
“You want to come home, huh?” Maureen blew the words out as quickly as she could because as long as they stayed in her mouth, she felt nauseous.
“Oh no! Not even! The thing is, I don’t want this baby. I’m goin’ to get rid of it, see. I . . . well, another model I work with sometimes got herself in trouble. She died durin’ her abortion.”
“Please don’t tell me . . .”
“That I’m gettin’ an abortion? Well, I am. I just wanted you to know in case I . . . die on the operatin’ table or somethin’. Uh, have me cremated and scatter my ashes on top of Mama Ruby’s grave so she can look out for my spirit.”
Maureen wanted to go outside and run up and down the street screaming. As if she was not already in enough pain, now here she was listening to her daughter discuss her final arrangements. Oh, if she could get her hands on that Mel!
“Then don’t take that chance,” Maureen pleaded. “Havin’ a baby is not the worst thing in the world.”
“It would be for me. The last thing I need right now is a baby. My career is just beginnin’ to take off, and I can’t let a baby get in my way. I’m showin’ already, and I can’t work again until I get my abortion and lose the weight that keeps sneakin’ up on me.”
“What about Mel? Did he tell you to abort his baby?”
“He suggested I throw myself down a flight of stairs to abort it so I wouldn’t have to pay for it!”
That Mel. His name made Maureen want to puke. He was a dog clean to the bone. He didn’t want any babies, but he had seduced a “baby” and now he wanted her to kill the baby that he’d impregnated her with.
Loretta blew out an angry breath. “As Mama Ruby would say, that low-down, funky black dog! If that wasn’t bad enough, he thinks it’s another man’s baby. He’s a damn liar. Mama, you know me. I wouldn’t lie about somethin’ this serious!”
Maureen was speechless for a few moments. Loretta’s last sentence almost made her laugh. Under the circumstances, that stupid declaration was nothing to laugh about. After Maureen took a few deep breaths, she continued. “Lo’retta, don’t do somethin’ that you might regret for the rest of your life. Like I almost . . .”
“You almost what?”
“I was goin’ to get an abortion when I was pregnant with you.” Maureen heard a mild gasp, but she couldn’t tell if it had come out of her mouth or Loretta’s. When she heard another gasp, this time loud and clear, she knew it was coming from her. “It would have been the biggest mistake I ever made in my life.”
“Why didn’t you go through with it? Why didn’t you get rid of me before I was born? You would have been better off.”
“I don’t know about that. I’ve enjoyed bein’ your mother.”
“Until now,” Loretta said.
“That’s beside the point. I never expected you to be the perfect child. I wasn’t. That’s a position that only Jesus can claim.” Maureen paused and swallowed hard. “Your daddy died and I couldn’t go through with the abortion.”
“Are you sorry you didn’t do it? I mean, look how I turned out.”
“I’m glad I didn’t abort you and your twin sister. Just so you know, I think you can still turn your life around.”
“I’m goin’ to! I’m not goin’ to let Mel ruin things for me. Listen, I have to leave in a few minutes to go to my yoga class—”
“Lo’retta, if you don’t mind, would you give me your telephone number?” Maureen broke in.
“For what?”
“In case I need to call you.” Loretta made Maureen want to holler. She didn’t, though, because she knew that if she did, she probably wouldn’t stop hollering until the people in the white coats had strapped her into a straitjacket and tucked her into a padded cell. She was surprised that she was still able to speak in a civil tone of voice. After all, Loretta had said some pretty disturbing things to her.
Loretta rattled off a telephone number and then she hung up without saying another word.
Maureen shook her head and finished packing for her trip to Bimini.
CHAPTER 60
MAUREEN ENJOYED THE FEW DAYS THAT SHE SPENT IN BIMINI with JAY. For the first time in mont
hs, she was able to act like a normal person, whatever that was. They had rented a bungalow near the beach and spent Christmas night sleeping on a blanket under a cabana outside the bungalow window. They opened their eyes the next morning with a starfish and other small creatures crawling on their faces.
“You look and act like a new woman,” Jay told Maureen, wiping sand off her face.
“I am a new woman.” She really did feel like a new woman because she was experiencing emotions that she had never experienced before. But the pain that she had recently experienced was still lurking beneath the surface.
“A penny for your thoughts,” Jay said in a cheerful voice, tickling Maureen’s cheek.
“My thoughts ain’t worth a plugged nickel these days. I’m goin’ to enjoy my life anyway,” she vowed, pulling the blanket up to her chin. They had shared a bottle of rum the night before and then they’d made love. They were both still naked.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Jay said, sitting up, swatting at a swarm of gnats buzzing around his face. “I mean, you’ve been through a hell of a lot lately.”
“So have you.”
Jay groaned, but a few seconds later he snickered. “Let’s try not to think about it. It’ll all be at home when we get back.”
Maureen didn’t want to go back home. Just thinking about returning to the apartment that she had shared with the last two people in the world she expected to betray her made her sick to her stomach.
However, despite all that had happened to her lately, she was more relaxed than she’d been in years. She did things with Jay that she had never done before and had never even thought about doing. They ate snake meat at a restaurant that served only exotic dishes. They went scuba diving, horseback riding, and they danced until dawn three nights in a row.
Maureen didn’t even dwell on what Virgil had told her about her kidnapping case or the fact that Loretta was now pregnant with her stepfather’s baby. Those were two more pieces of her life that she was not ready to share with Jay yet—and might never be. She thought it was more important for her to focus on the things that made her feel good, like being with Jay and having Big Maureen to call up and chat with.
As soon as Maureen got back to Florida, she called up Big Maureen and told her that Loretta was pregnant and planning to get an abortion.
“An abortion?” Big Maureen shouted. “Why?”
“She feels that a baby would be nothin’ but a big inconvenience right now,” Maureen explained with a heavy sigh and a sharp pain in her chest. “It’s a damn shame that the females who don’t want babies always get pregnant and then get abortions.”
“Oh no! Little Mo’reen, please don’t let that child kill that precious baby!” Big Maureen hollered.
“Even if I tried to talk her out of it, I’m the last person in the world she’d take advice from these days.”
“Sister, please, I’m beggin’ you, and I’ll get down on my knees and beg Lo’retta, too, if I have to!” Big Maureen bellowed. “This could be God’s way of answerin’ me and Lukas’s prayers!”
“What?”
“Don’t you see? This could be an answer to a prayer!”
An answer to a prayer? That was exactly what Virgil had said that Mama Ruby told him on the night she kidnapped Maureen.
“You want my daughter’s baby?” Maureen asked. “Do you really mean that?”
“Oh Lord, yes, I mean it! I never meant nothin’ more in my life than this. Yes, I do want that baby! I wouldn’t care if it came into the world with hooves and a tail. I WANT THAT BABY!”
Maureen was glad that she was not in the same room with Big Maureen. If she sounded this desperate on the telephone, there was just no telling how desperate she would be in person.
“I can talk to her, but I don’t know if it would do any good. From the way she talks, she’s already got her mind made up to get rid of her baby.”
“Please, please, please talk to her,” Big Maureen begged. Then she burst into tears. “I need that baby,” she said between sobs. “And it would be a blood relation, so that would make it an even bigger blessin’. If them adoption folks ever do come through and give me and Lukas a baby, there is no tellin’ what kind of blood and background that child might have. Me and Lukas might end up with a lunatic or a born killer on our hands!”
“I don’t know if it’ll do any good, but I’ll call Lo’retta and see what she says.”
“Can you call her right now? I’ll hang up and you can call me back as soon as you talk to her. Please! I won’t get a moment’s rest until I hear back from you.”
Big Maureen hung up abruptly, but Maureen didn’t dial Loretta’s number right away. Big Maureen raising Loretta and Mel’s baby was something that Maureen had to think about for a while. Just to keep Big Maureen from losing her mind, Maureen waited a couple of minutes and called her back.
“What did Lo’retta say?” Big Maureen yelled. “I been pacin’ back and forth, jumpin’ up and down and everything waitin’ on you to call me back!” That explained why Big Maureen was huffing and puffing like she had just run a marathon.
“Uh, she wasn’t home,” Maureen lied. “I left a message for her to call me back as soon as she could. Now you go get some rest.”
“Like I told you, I ain’t goin’ to get no rest until you talk to Lo’retta,” Big Maureen vowed. “I can’t!”
Maureen was not able to reach Virgil until the following morning. When she told him about Loretta’s predicament, he said something that surprised her. “You tell Lo’retta she ain’t got to kill her baby. Me and Corrine would be glad to raise it,” he said, already sounding like a proud papa. “Corrine loves babies and you know I do. It’s a pity I only had the one, and seein’ him every once in a while ain’t enough for me to even feel like a real daddy.”
“I don’t think you can have Lo’retta’s baby.”
“Oh. You goin’ to take it? Before you do, you need to think it through real hard. Every time you look at that child, you will think about Mel and what he done. I think the best thing would be for somebody else to raise it so you won’t have to.”
“Big Maureen wants the baby,” Maureen stated. “She wants that baby real bad.”
“Hmmm. Well, if I can’t have it, I’d rather see it go to a relative than to some adoption outfit or end up in some foster home. Big Mo’reen would be a good choice. I know how hard she and Lukas been tryin’ to adopt. I got a feelin’ that this . . . this might be an answer to a prayer.”
An answer to a prayer.
There was that phrase again. Maureen had no doubt in her mind that it really was an answer to a prayer for somebody....
She called Loretta immediately after her conversation with Virgil. To her surprise, Loretta actually sounded happy to hear from her.
“Hi, Mama! Whassup?” Loretta yipped.
“Hello, Loretta. I’m glad I caught you at home. Uh, I just wanted to say hello and see how you’re doin’. Is everything goin’ all right? Do you feel all right?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I’m healthy and as strong as a mule. I can’t wait to get rid of this baby. I’m gainin’ weight like mad! I can’t believe how bloated I look already. I did quit smokin’, though. On Christmas day.”
“I didn’t know that you had started smokin’,” Maureen said, disappointed. “I’m glad to hear you stopped. That was a smart and healthy thing for you to do.” Loretta had always been a strong advocate against smoking. Maureen cringed as she wondered what other surprises she had in store.
“There’s a whole lot of things you don’t know about me, Mama. But it didn’t take long for me to realize smokin’ was bad for me, so I gave it up.”
“Was it just cigarettes you smoked?” Maureen eased in with caution.
Loretta heaved out an impatient breath. “Oh, Mama! If you mean weed, I gave that up before I gave up cigarettes. I smoked my last joint last month.”
“You’d better believe I’m glad to hear that. I was real worried about you, Lo’re
tta. I don’t like you bein’ pregnant in a strange city with no family to look in on you and all.”
“I got a lot of new friends and they look out for me, so you can stop worryin’. I’m not your baby anymore.”
You sure are not, Maureen thought to herself, tempted to say it, but glad she didn’t.
“Oh, Mama! Guess what? I just came from my beautician, and I’ve decided to lighten my hair. Can you see me as a blonde? Everybody says that with blond hair, I would look even more beautiful and exotic with a different look than the rest of these black models up here.”
“That’s nice. I’m sure you will,” Maureen mumbled. “Listen, I . . . do you have time to talk? About . . . your condition?”
“My condition?” Loretta barked, like her “condition” was something she had just realized. “You mean the baby? You want to talk to me about the baby? For reals?”
“For reals.”
“I know you are probably wonderin’ how it happened. I swear to God, me and Mel used protection from day one!”
“I’m glad to hear that. The last thing I wanted was for you to get pregnant and not be able to graduate with your class,” Maureen said in a guarded tone of voice.
“I graduated with my class, and unlike Wanda Tucker and Melanie Bostwick, I was not pregnant when I walked across that stage to get my diploma.” Loretta sucked on her teeth. “Anyway, Mel was determined not to make any babies with me, and that’s why he started wearin’ two condoms at the same time.”
“Well, apparently wearin’ two condoms didn’t work,” Maureen snipped. She sounded sarcastic and frustrated at the same time, and she didn’t care if Loretta picked up on that.
“Believe it or not, wearin’ two condoms is worse than wearin’ just one. Besides sex not feelin’ that good for the man, the two condoms rubbin’ against each other caused too much friction and both of them broke at the same time. That’s how I ended up pregnant.”
The last thing Maureen wanted to discuss was her daughter’s sexual encounters with Melvin Ross. “Thank you for sharin’ that with me, but I called to talk to you about somethin’ else.”