by Linda Verji
Of course she’d want to be with him. Still… she lowered her gaze to the floor between them. “But you’re not Joe.”
“That doesn’t matter.” With two fingers, he lifted her chin until she was staring into his eyes again. “I’m the man you love. I’m the man you should be with.”
“Worth…” she sighed.
“Sweetheart, please. I love you.” Frustration glittered in his eyes and his tone was beseeching as he asked, “Can’t you just let me into your life? I promise I’ll protect you from my family, from everyone… Can’t you just let me love you? I’ll beg if I have to.”
He was saying all the right words, relentlessly pounding at the walls she’d built around her heart. As she stared up at him, she could feel herself weakening.
“You don’t have to beg.” She took a breath to harden her weakening resolve. “It’s just that this is a bad idea. It won’t work…”
“We won’t know that until we try.” His grip on her shoulders tightened into a light squeeze. “Let’s just try, huh? Just a bit. If it’s too hard for you, then I’ll let you go.”
“What if it’s too hard for you?”
Worth grinned. “That will never happen. I’m a big boy!”
Her lips lifted in a reluctant smile and she lightly slapped his chest. “Are you saying that I’m not a big girl?”
“Of course not!” Worth laughed and the booming sound seemed to ease the tension throbbing in the room. His laugh softened into a smile as he brushed his palm over her face. “You’re a big girl. You’re my big girl.”
He bent to kiss her softly. She should’ve stopped the kiss, pushed him away, but she couldn’t. Every cell in her body was yearning for him, begging her to stop being so unbending and accept the love that he was so insistent on giving. She found herself wrapping her arms around his waist as they kissed. His own arms went around her body to bring her closer to his naked one. Immediately she felt his cock dig into her stomach.
“Whoa!” She gasped as her eyes lowered to the already erect rod then lifted back to meet his.
There was no embarrassment in his gaze. He shrugged. “That’s how much I want you. That’s how much I need you.”
She had to smile. Only Worth could make a hard-on seem romantic.
“Didn’t you miss me this whole time? Didn’t you feel like you were dead inside without me for these last four months?” His expression was as grave as his tone as he confessed, “I did. I missed you so damn much. And I can’t handle feeling like this anymore. I don’t want to miss you anymore.” He suddenly frowned as his gaze roved her face. “Or maybe I’m the only who felt like this.”
“Of course not!” she answered without thinking about it.
His mouth lifted in a slow smile. “So you’re saying you missed me?”
She wanted to hide the truth but her body refused to cooperate and she found herself nodding.
It wasn’t enough for Worth. “I want to hear the words.”
It took her a while to say them but eventually, she murmured, “I missed you.”
His grin couldn’t have been bigger. Who would’ve thought that just three words could make a man so happy? When he suddenly lifted her up by the waist, she was caught by surprise and instinctively wrapped her arms and legs around him to keep from falling. It must’ve been what he wanted because he started walking towards the bed. A moment later, she found herself lying on the bed. Before she could even remind him that she hadn’t agreed to any of this, he was hovering over her.
He was so breathtakingly close that she couldn’t even think, couldn’t come up with more ways to say no. When he bent down and set his lips over hers, she felt something in her break and crack. And when he kissed her like she was the only one he wanted to love, those broken pieces of her resistance melted away, like blocks of ice bowing to strength of boiling water. By the time he ended the kiss, lowered himself to the bed and turned her to face him, her heart was already swinging its gates wide open for him.
“If you missed me, then just let us be together.” He rubbed her shoulder and upper arm with smooth slow strokes. “We shouldn’t have to be apart. If I could live without you, I wouldn’t be here. I can’t live without you, Sin. I’m sorry. I can’t let you go.”
“Don’t say things like that.” She swallowed nervously. “I might change my mind.”
“I’m saying things like these to make you change your mind.” His hand came around to the back of her head and he came closer to kiss her softly.
When they came up for air, she found him watching her with an air of desperation that left her feeling an unexpected guilt. Why should he have to beg so much? She was the one who was unequal to him. The defective one. She should be the one begging him to love her. She brought her face closer to his and sealed their lips. In her kiss was the apology she couldn’t voice.
He said, “I know that I’ve let you down in the past and that I don’t deserve your trust-”
“You weren’t the only one who messed up.” She cut him off.
“But I messed up more,” he said. “And at least you tried to rectify what you did.”
“You also came back to set things right,” she reminded him.
“Are we going to keep arguing about who was more wrong or will you let me convince you to love me?” he teased with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
“Neither.” She watched him keenly as she confessed, “I already love you.”
“What?” His shock was as clear as daylight.
She exhaled in a long, controlled breath before repeating, “I already love you.” What was the point of resisting anymore? Clearly, Worth wasn’t going to just let her go, and clearly, none of her wanted to let him go. She said, “I love you, Worth.”
He blinked once, blinked twice, then blinked again. “Did you just say you love me?”
“You’re not deaf,” she teased before leaning forward to brush her lips against his in a brief kiss.
“Wow!” He was grinning like Cheshire cat. “I just never thought I’d hear those words from you.”
“Should I say them again,” she teased. When he nodded eagerly, she laughed. “I love you, Worth.”
He dragged her into his arms for a hard kiss that left her breathless and giggling. He said, “I won’t make you regret saying those words. I promise. I’ll make sure you don’t regret giving me a chance.”
“I know you won’t.” She smiled, but on the inside she was more worried about whether he’d regret taking this step. She hoped not. God, she hoped not.
Still, for now all she could do was enjoy the ride while it lasted. Hopefully it would last for a long, long while and everything would work out. Hopefully, her worries would prove unwarranted because she really, really, wanted a happy ending with him.
“I love you, Worth,” she whispered as she moved even closer to him.
“I love you too.” He came back for a tender kiss.
EPILOGUE
~ A Year Later ~
A baby was crying!
No, she wasn’t crying… she was screaming blue murder.
Groaning, Worth turned then buried his face into the pillow and brought its sides up to his ears to block out the noise. It didn’t help. Jesus! That kid had the lungs of an Amazon. Still, Worth wasn’t willing to wake up and go and deal with her. He closed his eyes tightly and pressed his hands to his ears.
Barely a second later, the bedroom door flew open. Surprised, Worth lifted on his elbows and turned his head towards the door. Sin was standing there looking more frazzled than he’d ever seen her. Her hair was buried under a navy, satin head-cloth and she was wearing one of his t-shirts. The black t-shirt was so long that it covered the shorts he assumed she was wearing. However, what caught his attention was the long line of what could’ve been vomited milk running from her right shoulder to her waist. Worse, her eyes were blazing with anger as she glared at him.
“Seriously!” She pressed her fist to her waist. “Are you just going to sleep there while
she’s screaming her head off?”
Worth sat up with a sigh. “I thought you were handling it.”
“We’re supposed to be doing this togeth…” She paused to correct herself. “Actually, you’re supposed to be handling this. I didn’t ask for it.”
“You could’ve said No,” Worth reminded her as he wiped his face to get rid of the sleep-cobwebs.
“When was I ever capable of saying no to you?” She kissed her teeth and narrowed her eyes. “You sly snake!”
She meant it as an insult but Worth found himself laughing. How could he not laugh? Petty as it was, he liked the fact that he was the only man who’d ever been able to tame her. Even now, looking as messy and annoyed as she did, he didn’t regret pursuing her. She was still the most beautiful woman to him, still the woman he loved more than himself.
Not even once in the last year had he had second thoughts about his decision. Not when Baron had asked him if he was sure he wanted to make a home with her, and certainly not when his father had confronted him about bringing an ex-con into their family. Now that Baron was divorced and Claire was officially out of the picture, Senior seemed to be expecting his sons to bring him church-girls or something like that. Imagine his disappointment when he’d heard about Sin.
Worth could still remember the anger that had swept through him when Senior had called Sin a nice piece of ass, but a piece of ass nonetheless. Worth had seen red. If his step-mother wasn’t in the room with them, Worth would’ve knocked his father out. One punch to the throat to shut him up! Frustrated, Worth had stormed out of their family home more determined than ever to keep Sin. Sure, he wanted her because he loved her, but pissing off his father in the process was a bonus.
However, he knew his father well enough to know that Senior wouldn’t just sit still. He assumed that the old man would try to have a face-to-face with Sin. For that reason, Worth had decided that staying in New York was the best thing for Sin and him. The distance between this city and Portland would serve as a deterrent, albeit flimsy, to his father. Also, she had a support system in the form of her friends here. If anything happened, she wouldn’t just have him protecting her.
His hunch was right. Senior had come to New York while Worth was back in Portland dealing with some business issues. Thankfully, Sin was smart. When the old man had demanded that she meet him at his hotel, she’d come with Kelly’s father-in-law, Lawrence. Lawrence was quite wealthy in his own right and a lawyer to boot. Senior hadn’t had a chance against the two of them. He’d left New York with his tail between his legs. Worth chuckled as he remembered Sin’s amusement as she told the story.
“Stop laughing,” Sin cut into his thoughts with a glare. “That baby is killing me out there.”
“Oh! Okay. Okay.” Worth chuckled as he swung his feet off the bed and stood. “I’m coming.”
“Hurry.” Sin padded ahead of him out of the bedroom. He took a minute to put on a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt before following her.
Baby Ariel was in the middle of the living-room, seated in her bouncer seat facing the TV where a cartoon was playing. The cartoon didn’t seem to be working because she was still crying like someone was paying her to blow up the room with just her voice.
“There, there, Ari,” Worth murmured as he plucked the crying baby from her seat and brought her up to his chest. “Shsh… shsh…”
“What’s wrong with her?” Sin watched the baby with a frown. “She slept enough, and I even checked her diaper.”
“Did you feed her?” he asked as he walked around the small space bouncing her in his arms. Though Ariel’s cries had reduced in volume, she was still sobbing.
“Of course I fed her,” Sin retorted. “I fed her in the morning when we woke up.”
“At seven?” Worth stared at Sin in shock. “It’s now noon.”
“I know.”
“You haven’t fed her in five hours?”
“No.” Sin shrugged. “I was planning to feed her at lunch. You know… breakfast, lunch… dinner.”
“Wow! Wow! No wonder she’s screaming.” He looked down at the still sobbing Ariel. “Poor Ari. You must be so hungry, huh?”
“Should I go get her formula?” Sin asked.
When Worth only gave her a ‘duh’ look, she scurried off to the kitchen. Barely a moment later, Worth heard a piercing yell from that part of the house. Still carrying the wailing baby, he hurried to the kitchen only to find Sin seated on her haunches staring at a fallen tin of formula. The white powder was all over the linoleum floor.
“What happened?” he asked.
“It just slipped from my hand.” Panic flashed in her eyes as she stared at Ariel. “What do we do? What if she never stops crying?”
“I bought a lot of it. Check the drawer where we keep the cereal,” Worth said with a chuckle. Sin had adapted so fast to her role as a fake assistant that he’d assumed playing a mother would just be as easy for her. He was wrong. She was terrible at it.
As soon as she had a bottle, Ariel quieted down. Worth sat on the carpeted living-room floor feeding the baby while Sin lounged beside them reading something on her phone.
“Seriously?” She snorted as she stared at her phone. “Babies should be fed seven to nine times a day? How can they eat so often?”
“A baby’s stomach is small.”
“Ah.” Sin looked at the baby and nodded. “So they digest fast, huh?”
“Yup.” Amused, Worth tilted his head to study her. “How can you not know this?”
“How would I know?” Sin retorted unrepentantly. “I’m not a mother.”
“Hey, I’m not a father either,” Worth reminded her. “And I know it.”
When A.J had asked Sin to take care of her baby while she and her husband, Lee, went off for a trip over the weekend, Sin had been ready to refuse. Worth had stepped in before she could to assure the new parents that he and Sin were quite capable of handling their baby for a few days.
His actions weren’t altruistic. They were completely selfish. He wanted a baby with Sin and was hoping that taking care of Ariel would bring out Sin’s dormant mothering instincts so she’d want one too. Now that they’d been dating for over one year, he wanted to move on to the next step; marriage and a family. He just didn’t know if Sin was ready for it.
Soon, Ariel drifted off to sleep in Worth’s arms. Sin crawled closer to them to stare at the baby. Smiling, she softly drew a finger over the baby’s cheek as if tracing her features. “She’s cute isn’t she?”
“She is.” Worth watched Sin keenly. “What? Ariel isn’t enough for you? Should I make you one?”
He expected her to tell him no as she always did or to joke it off. But all she did was stare at him then move forward to take Ariel. “I’m taking her to her crib.”
Her reaction was enough to give Worth hope. When she started towards their bedroom with Ariel in her arms, he followed her but stood by the door watching her. Sin set Ariel in the crib, covered her then stood over her, watching her. Worth came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. For a while the two of them just watched the sleeping baby.
Worth kissed Sin’s cheek before murmuring, “That could be our baby.”
Sin didn’t say anything but she rubbed his arms as if agreeing with him. Smiling, he tightened his arms around her. He knew why she couldn’t voice her wishes. Even though she’d agreed to date him, he could still tell that she was scared that they wouldn’t last just because they came from such different worlds. Every time he even thought the word ‘marriage’, she made it a point to remind him that she’d been married thrice, as if that was supposed to scare him. It didn’t.
He didn’t give a damn about her past. It was the past. Right now, in her present and hopefully in her future, he was the one who was here. And she was the one he wanted to be with. No other woman could make him feel what he felt for Sin.
Each day he spent with her reassured him that she was the right woman for him. The only woman for him! He
loved her more each morning than he loved her the previous night. And he was sure that a year from now, five years from now, twenty years from now, thirty years from now…. he’d still feel the same way. How could he not want to make her his officially?
He turned her in his arms until she was facing him. “It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to want to get married to me and to start our own family.”
“I don’t want to be greedy.” She worried her bottom lip nervously. “You’ve already given me so much.”
“I want you to be greedy. Just like I’m being greedy.” He added, “I’m not satisfied with just having you as my girlfriend. I’m asking you to spend your whole life with me. I’m asking you to have my children. Isn’t that being greedy?”
She didn’t say anything. She was quiet for so long that panic began to settle in his chest. Had he said the wrong words? Should he have told her that it wasn’t greedy for them to want what everyone else had? Maybe he should’ve reminded her how much he loved her first before demanding that she marry him. When she set her hands on his chest, he expected her to push him away, even dreaded it. Imagine his surprise when her hand came to his cheek.
“Is it really okay?” Worry flashed in her eyes even as she soothed her palm over his skin. “Can I want more?
“It’s okay.” He nodded eagerly. “It’s what I want too.”
She watched him keenly. “Are you sure?”
Instead of answering, he lowered his head for a kiss. The kiss was tender, filled with hope, love, and a plea that she give him the future that they both wanted so badly. When the kiss ended, he hugged her, holding her tightly into his body.
Smoothing his hands over her back, he murmured into the side of her face, “I want to spend my life with you. Let me.”