by Tess Mallory
"You son of a bitch!" Sky pulled herself out of Telles's arms and crossed the short distance between them. She raised her hand to slap him, and he caught her by the wrist.
Go ahead, he silently told her. Slap me. I deserve it. I deserve so much worse. It's all a lie, everything I'm saying, but I have to say it. I can't take the chance of letting you get any closer than you have.
She froze, her arm in midair, her fingers curling inward as the rage ebbed out of her. With a choked cry, she turned and ran into the corridor with Telles close behind. He paused at the doorway and looked back, shaking his head in disgust.
"My mistake, Colonel. You are Zarn's son—the spitting image."
Eagle hated himself. In the space of a few moments, he had destroyed whatever feelings Sky might have had for him as well as his friendship with Telles. He stood in the silence of the deserted corridor and felt the oppression of the silence. It was over. Their brief union as friends, his friendship with Telles, his love for Sky.
Love for Sky?
Yes, he loved her. Loved the way she straightened her shoulders and took charge, loved how she wasn't afraid of anything and could wield a blaster as well as a man in a fight, loved the curve of her cheek and the glow of her eyes, loved her long silver-blond hair against his hands and the softness of her body beneath his. He loved her and it didn't matter, because he didn't know who he was. How could a man without a past love a woman like Sky? Was it true? Was Telles speaking the truth?
My mistake, Colonel. You are Zarn's son—the spitting image. The cold wave of fear danced around him as Telles's words echoed through his mind. He wrapped his arms around himself as if to stave off the chill, bowing his head as the pain filled him again. He let it rock him, let it squeeze his heart and collide with his soul as he sank to his knees. He let the knowledge sear him, let it taunt him, let it invite him to the edge of the madness.
He was in a small room sitting in a huge chair from which wires and tubes protruded. No, the chair wasn't huge; he was small, skinny, his arms hound to the leather by energy strips and his legs shackled as well. He was screaming but there was no sound, and he realized the screaming was inside him because he was afraid to open his mouth and let the sound escape. A large helmet glided slowly downward toward him. It settled with a thud around his head, heavy, straining the fragile stem of his neck. Someone fastened it under his chin and the eyeholes were too big and too far apart. Two men were in the overly bright room but his eyes were blurred by tears and he couldn't make out their features. Then a jolt of energy coursed through him and the screaming inside his head stopped as the light above him grew brighter and brighter until it encompassed him. Desperately he sought for a lifeline, something to hold on to before the light utterly consumed him.
His father had told him stories of how a legendary creature, more noble than any other, once flew in the skies of Terra. The creature had been used in Andromedan literature as well to signify strength, honesty, and pride. There was an ancient quote from one of the books his father had been researching, and as a child he had memorized it. It began, "Rise up, rise up on the wings of an eagle. You shall be weary no longer. You shall fly with courage and strength." It was his favorite of all his father's stories. He would think of the eagle—he would remember its strength and courage and he would be strong.
The machine balked above him and suddenly a power unlike anything he could have ever imagined flooded through his body, his mind, his soul, pumped through him, seeking out his memories, his dreams, and his spirit. Sweat poured down his back, pain laced through his brain, and yet he did not cry out. The agony of it seemed to go on forever, but at last the machine grew still and the helmet was lifted slowly from his head. A disembodied voice spoke to him, asking a somehow familiar question.
"What name do you choose?"
He swallowed hard, wishing the dryness from his throat; blinked, hoping the bright light would be turned from his eyes soon.
"Eagle," he whispered.
"Eagle," he said aloud. Eagle opened his eyes. He was on his knees in the observation room, tears drying on his cheeks. The dream. But it wasn't a dream at all. It was a memory.
"All right, I'm ready."
The lights in Kell's cabin were dimmed and the shielding firmly in place once again. Sky and Telles sat on the floor, cross-legged—her request—and Kell had already taken himself out of the cabin, begrudgingly.
"Now, this may feel strange at first," she cautioned him. "The important thing is to relax. Don't fight me."
Telles wiped the palms of his hands down the sides of the dark blue trousers he wore. "I'll try not to," he said. "Damn, Sky, I have to tell you this is harder for me than I thought it would be. I keep remembering—"
"Don't." She cut him off, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "This is nothing like what Zarn did to you. There are no machines, no rays, no pain. There is just my mind melding with yours, and I will stop whenever you tell me to do so, all right?"
He nodded but Sky noted a thin bead of sweat trailing down the side of his face. "I'm ready," he said, just the slightest tremor to his words.
Before she could even lift her hands to take off her silver band, a pounding suddenly sounded against the door, followed by loud voices in the corridor.
"What in the—" Telles jumped to his feet and crossed to the door, sending it sliding open.
Eagle and Kell stood nose to nose in the hallway, their brows meeting angrily in the center of their equally irate faces. Sky stepped into the corridor, hands on her hips.
"Call off your watchdog, Sky," Eagle demanded, turning to face her.
"What do you want?" She was rather proud of the haughty tone she managed.
"What I want is—" He broke off, his eyes burning into hers, telling her it wasn't over yet, not by a long shot. Something quickened between them and hope sprang anew in her heart.
Stupid heart, she admonished, lifting her chin a little as she waited for Eagle to continue.
"Yes?" she prodded.
He tore his gaze from hers and shrugged. "I want to come in."
"Out of the question—" Kell began, only to be cut off by Sky.
"Why?"
"Because I—" He stopped talking again and shook his head. "Telles might need me."
Sky arched one brow. Maybe their argument had done some good after all. "I thought you didn't trust Telles anymore. I thought you didn't give a damn."
"I trust him more than anyone else in this universe," he said quietly. He took a deep breath and released it explosively. "I give a damn."
Sky moved toward him. "What happened, Colonel? Did you have a second thought? Not the great Eagle—surely not."
"I thought about what you said. About what Telles said. I don't know what's going on, but I suppose I've got to trust someone. I trust Telles."
"But not me."
Something flickered in the depths of his green eyes. "Sky, I'm sorry. And I do trust you, to an extent. I just believe if it came down to your sister's life or the rest of us, we would all be expendable. And I'm not crazy about the idea of someone else running around in my head—not even you."
"You aren't needed in this experiment, so you don't have to worry."
Eagle leaned against the wall of the corridor, arms folded over his chest. "You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you? Okay, Captain. I want to know the truth, whatever it is. Maybe if I see it in Telles's mind first it won't be so hard to accept it in my own."
Sky pretended to consider. "If you come inside the room, you'll have to be part of the meld. Otherwise you might get pulled in accidentally and that would be dangerous, but then you remember that from our last experience together. But don't worry, Colonel. I won't be going into your mind, just your friend's."
"I understand."
Sky let him sweat for a minute, noting the tension around his lips, then nodded. "All right."
"Sky—Captain—really I must protest!" Kell moved between the two, his back to Eagle, his face only inches f
rom hers. "You would not allow me inside the room while you probed the man's mind. Why should you allow this—this—" He broke off.
Sky opened her mouth and closed it twice before she could gather her thoughts. Why was she willing to let him come in? "He's Telles's best friend."
"Don't let him in on my account," Telles interjected. "He may trust me, but I'm afraid I no longer return the favor."
"You see—even his friend no longer trusts him," Kell said, his eyes wide with anger.
"All right, damn it." She moved toward the open doorway, flinging her words back over her shoulder. "I want him to know I'm telling the truth about what I find in Telles's mind." Sky felt relieved to say it aloud. "If I bring him into the meld, there will be no doubts."
"And what of my doubts?" Kell asked.
Sky spun around, her heart beating a little faster. "You doubt me, Kell?"
His blue face was flushed, something she'd never seen before; purple shadows were evident in his cheeks. "I doubt your ability to withstand the allure of this man! For all you know, he could be a telepath himself, just waiting to get you alone in order to cause some kind of damage to your mind."
The memory of their tryst in the observation room made Sky turn away for a moment to hide the consternation in her eyes. No, Eagle had not wanted to enter her mind then, and he didn't want to now. Suddenly she didn't want him to either. She turned back.
"I don't think that will be a problem. Since he isn't a telepath, I think I can keep him out of my thoughts. I'll still have some protection from the deflector in the internal shielding, you know. I won't enter Eagle's mind and he won't enter mine. I'll just allow him to see what I find in Telles's mind." She caught the relieved look that crossed the colonel's face and felt a small pang in her heart. She ignored it.
"Then include me as well," Kell demanded. "Allow me to go with you."
"No." Telles stepped up beside Sky. "I choose who goes inside my head, and it isn't you, Commander. Sorry."
"I apologize, Telles," Sky said hastily. "I shouldn't have presumed—perhaps you don't want Eagle to come either. It's your call."
Telles turned and faced the colonel. Sky didn't envy Eagle as the man turned the full bore of his gaze upon him. The colonel met his evaluating glare undaunted and after what seemed like an eternity, Telles nodded.
"All right, he can come." He shot Sky a grin. "Sounds like we're planning a journey to a pleasure planet, doesn't it? Tell you what, when this is all over I'll take you to one, okay, Sky?"
"Sure," she said with a smile.
"Sky wouldn't like a place like that." Eagle leaned against the bulkhead, his arms folded across his chest.
He had changed clothes, Sky noticed for the first time.
Instead of his usual plain jumpsuit, he wore sleek black trousers that dipped down at the waist into a V. An equally tight white shirt stretched over his muscles, accentuating his hard, washboard stomach and broad chest. His arms were bare, the muscular contours making her mouth dry with longing. She swallowed hard, then tossed her hair back from one shoulder and folded her arms over her chest.
"Sit down, Colonel. You don't have any idea of what I might like, and aren't likely to find out in the near future. I'm ready, Kell. Please leave us."
"Captain, I—I—" She turned to find Kell sputtering in fury. He shot her a look filled with more anger than she'd ever thought he was capable of feeling, then spun on his heel and stalked out of the room. Sky watched him go, feeling terribly guilty.
Sky slipped the silver band from around her forehead and laid it carefully next to her on the floor. Ah, then it was more than a fashion statement, as he'd suspected all along. Somehow the band was connected with her telepathic power.
"What is that?" he asked bluntly.
Sky glanced up at him, hesitant, then gestured toward the object. "It protects my mind," she admitted. "I am highly sensitive, even for a telepath, and it is… difficult at times to keep the thoughts of others out. This device acts as a shield."
Reasonable answer. Whether it was true or not remained to be seen. Eagle sank down next to her and prepared himself for the ordeal to come. And he had no doubt that it would be an ordeal. Even when his and Sky's minds had joined together before when she had tried to contact Mayla, in spite of the gentleness of her psychic touch he had been terrified. Now he knew why. If Telles's accusations were true… to have someone in his mind… He shuddered involuntarily and Sky glanced over at him, her beautiful face reflecting her curiosity before she turned back to Telles.
"I will begin very slowly," she said, "but in order to begin we must all touch. To facilitate a better, smoother transition, I will touch your face, Telles, with one of my hands. Eagle, you take my other hand and Telles, take Eagle's free hand."
"I heard about this kind of thing on one of the pleasure planets," Telles quipped, "but I never thought I'd be part of one."
Sky blushed and Eagle watched the way the color flooded into her pale, peach-tinted cheeks, wishing he dared to lift his hand and brush his fingers, then his lips, against her skin. He shook the thought away. In spite of her promises not to delve into his mind, he felt sure she could glean his surface thoughts. Better bring them under control if he didn't want to make a fool of himself. Again.
"Let's begin," she said. Lifting one hand, she placed her fingers delicately on Telles's face, her index finger resting against his brow, thumb against his right cheek, the other three fingers pressing next to his left temple.
Eagle felt the breath leave his body as suddenly the cabin around them disappeared and he was sucked into another world, a vortex of color and silence. He stiffened, his mind rebelling against the sensation of nonreality when a clear, smooth thought dropped into him.
Eagle, it's all right. Trust me. Go with me. Fide the wave.
Immediately the tension left him. Ride the wave. He saw it then—a blue-green sweep of color moving through his mind; he saw Sky as well, beckoning him forward. Cautiously he checked his own thoughts and was satisfied she was keeping her word; she was staying out of his mind.
Come on, Eagle, she urged, Telles is waiting.
He swallowed hard. This was why he had come. For Telles. To find the location of the child. He nodded and took a step forward into the melee of color. The wave seized him, drew him in, and suddenly he wasn't just riding the wave, he was the wave, and Sky was the wave. He could feel her inside him and he inside her, and yet there was no exchange of thought. He felt strangely bereft. Now the colors intensified and new ones collided with the blue-green wave—purple and pink, dashes of red and chartreuse, swirling around them as Sky took them deep, deep, deep into Telles's subconscious. There was no time and yet it seemed to go on forever as they traveled downward, though he knew there was in reality no down. No up. The thought began to shake him and all at once he felt Sky's soothing touch against his fear. He relaxed.
There, she said. There is where we must go.
Eagle felt Sky turn him in the right direction and he saw an intense mixture of color, dark, foreboding.
What is it? he thought to her and felt a warm rush of satisfaction in return.
It's all right, she said. This is the very center of your friend's mind. This is where the secret hidden part of himself lies. This is where we will find Mayla's location, or not.
Together they moved in toward the whirling maelstrom—for that was what it appeared to Eagle, a swirling mass of colliding molecules, confused, erratic. Eagle drew back and Sky waited for him.
He's a brave man, Eagle murmured back to her. He's willing to let us see who he really is. Yes, Sky agreed. And that takes the highest kind of courage.
Eagle noted her pointed remark but refused to dwell on it. Not here. Not now. He took a deep breath. But there was no breath. He pushed the confusing reality thoughts from his mind as all at once he had the sensation of Sky's hand in his. He looked down. He could see himself now and he could see Sky. She smiled at him, her turquoise eyes filled with understanding.
<
br /> Better? she asked.
He nodded, feeling such great relief he was ashamed.
Then let's go in. She glanced back at him. And Eagle—it's all right to be afraid. This is new territory for you. Don't fight your fear. Face it.
He had no answer for her presumptuous remark and instead concentrated on bracing himself for the cachophony of color and confusion they were about to enter. They held hands and walked into it.
Eagle gasped as the kaleidoscope of colors and sounds met him. Sky seemed undaunted and continued to move forward. He clung to her hand feeling like the worst sort of coward.
Do you see the dark colors? she asked. He nodded, too numb to speak. The darkness denotes trauma or great sorrow. She shook her head. Telles has endured both to a large degree. The darkness gathers even deeper ahead in order to protect the core of who he is.
They walked into the darkness together and Telles met them there. One second there was only the swirling gray, and the next he was in front of them. Incredible. Eagle reached out a hand and touched Telles's arm. Solid as a rock.
Are you ready, Telles? she asked. He nodded and Sky took each of the men by the hand and together they turned and walked into the darkest part of his mind.
Eagle felt completely disoriented for a minute as the gray haze deepened, becoming almost black, spinning around them like smoke wafting from a chimney.
Look, Sky said softly.
All at once forms began to solidify around them. Shapes of people, men, women, children. Telles walked in to stand amidst them.
Who are they? Eagle asked.
These are the people who have most influenced Telles in his life, she answered. She pointed to a tall man clad in a long, dark blue robe. This is his father, Kalah, one of the Seekers. He shaped Telles's young years. She turned to the woman beside him. His mother, Manila—she loved him more than life itself. She was the first of the Seekers' families to die. This man was his father's best friend, Toma N'chal.
Toma N'chal. Eagle gazed at the kind, strong face and felt a panic unlike any he'd ever experienced seize him. He could feel himself withdrawing, moving back from the images, feel himself being propelled outward, away from the darkness. He couldn't breathe. He had no heartbeat. He couldn't breathe.