by Xavier Neal
“That’s you?” The blonde beside her lunges forward. “No way, Thomas and I love your album!”
“Thanks,” I place the glass down on the bar.
“You’ve heard of them?” Clarissa looks appalled.
“Who hasn’t?” Another girl chimes in. “That song ‘All Dark’ plays on the radio constantly.”
“How’d you meet Tony?” The blond, who’s clearly becoming Clarissa’s second least favorite person questions.
“Mike—”
“Michael.” She corrects me again.
“Yeah, he and my drummer are college buddies. So Kronk invited him to see us play when he found out the bachelor party was going to be in the same city we were playing in.”
“You played in Vegas?” Clarissa’s continued disbelief causes me to roll my eyes.
“Yeah. It was the last stop on the tour. We’ll be hooking up with a band called Rise of the Ashes in a couple of weeks for another fifteen city tour before taking some down time to record.”
“I love Rise of the Ashes!” Squeaks the blonde. “Hellz Razor is so damn sexy!”
“How can you be attracted to someone named that?” Clarissa gripes. “Just like how can Anthony be attracted to someone who calls herself Lix?” Now that the subject is back on me she shakes her head slowly. “Let’s just be clear. You may have my friend star struck stupid, but I know Euro trash when I see it. Paint it in tattoos, put it in lacy wear, but garbage is still garbage no matter how you decorate it, hun.”
I hold my jaw steady even as tears are clearly trying to race up the back of my throat.
I shouldn’t give a fuck what this girl thinks or says. I should treat her just like any other critic from Hollywood who thinks they know my story, but there’s something about the way she’s staring at me. Stares through me. It’s like she can see past the ink that’s layered on me hiding the scars of what I did to get where I am.
“If you’ll excuse me I need to use the restroom.”
“I’d prefer you use the guest one on the first floor under the stairs,” she points and the girls cattishly snicker to stay in her good graces.
Quickly I exit, head down the long hallway and down the stairs rushing towards the bathroom. When I make an attempt to throw myself in it, I bump directly into a body that I’m getting to know as well as my own.
“Hey, baby,” he greets me with a crooked smile, a soft smell of bourbon on his breath. I push a smile on my face, but he sees right through it before I can completely camera fake it. “What’s wrong?”
I let my eyes fall from his, the intensity and so much concern for me is too much to bear.
“Lex—”
My lips push against his in a proven way that works for distraction.
Especially the emotional kind.
Tony moans against my lips as he backs into the small bathroom. My hand shuts the door and locks it before he pins me up against it, clearly eager to have more of me, if possible.
Something inside of me twists hard until it pops.
Clarissa’s right. I’m nothing but a waste of space painted in short skirts and tats. Might as well live up to the trashy part of my name huh?
I push Tony’s body back and he gives me space like the respectable man he is.
The one a girl like me will never have outside of this phony fucking marriage.
With a small saunter of my hips I relocate my body so I’m bent over the bathroom counter top, my short dress inched all the way up to expose the lock and key tats that are on the back of my thighs.
No. The fire crotch tat wasn’t enough. Trashy girl. Trashy tattoos.
Tony watches the show I put on wiggling my hips back and forth in invitation. As his tongue touches his lips he begins to loosen the gray tie around his neck, the entire time keeping his focus on my reflection. When it’s free he moves his body so it’s directly behind mine, hard crotch pressing firmly between my ass cheeks.
With a cocky smirk he instructs, “Open your mouth.”
Intrigued I do so. Parting it slightly he stretches the tie in front of me and whispers in my ear, “You’re gonna wanna bite this hard, baby, because I’m about to make you scream.”
Already wet from the kiss we shared, my thong is now in no condition to handle the reaction to what he just promised. Tony pulls his wallet out of his back pocket, removes a condom, and tosses the thing on the counter beside me. With a mischievous smirk he undoes his dress pants, dropping them and his boxers to the ground. In one fluid motion he slips the rubber on, my panties to the side, and let’s his cock invade forcefully, basically ripping me in two.
I will be the first to admit I’ve had sex with all kinds of guys in this department. But Tony...him and the monster no one knows he’s packing around every day should do porn.
He thrusts forward again roughly, the sensation summoning a scream out of me and straight into the tie that’s placed between my teeth. Devilishly he grins. Tony repeats the action the entire time watching our reflections in the mirror. My pussy clenches around his cock as my eyes meet his, immediately swept away in the look of dominance he’s giving me. Like, I belong to him. Like this isn’t just a game of house. Like, I’m his actual wife. A shutter rips through me pushing my head to fall forward in pleasure.
Tony immediately grabs me by the hair forcing my face back up. “You, fucking watch.” He demands and my orgasm that’s arguing to be set free whimpers that I don’t have much longer. In a gruff voice he repeats, “You fucking watch. Watch me make that pussy tremble, baby.” And it does. Giving into his words I explode around him just as his thumb casually pushes itself between my ass cheeks teasing the hole. The sensation lunges through me provoking a scream through gritted teeth into the tie.
Okay so I’ve never been much into ass stuff, but holy shit you gotta admit that was pretty fucking hot.
His hips continue bucking forward, each push reaching deep inside, challenging me to come again. The grip on my hair tightens as I feel his cock throb. Tony’s finger pushes against my asshole a little harder forcing all my muscles to tighten. My eyes struggle to stay open, but I manage to catch a glimpse of him in the mirror again, a look of ownership interwoven with love pouring out of him. Shockingly enough, I see the same coming out of me.
“Fuck,” he groans his body going taut again. At that I push my ass against his finger causing my pussy to quake on top of him as it comes apart, sucking the orgasm out of him unexpectedly. Tony grumbles and groans a slur of my name mixed with curses before he leans his body slightly down so his lips are next to my ear. “I love making you scream.”
Hearing him say the word love, not even in the context I know he never will, still manages to toy with something in my chest. I happily sigh and remove the tie to answer. “I love having a reason too.”
Playfully he gives my ass a good pinch before pulling out of me to dispose of the condom in the toilet. Pulling up the bottom half of his wardrobe he asks, “You wanna tell me what Clarissa said to rattle you?”
Surprised, he knew I try to put my poker face back on. “She didn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Tony tucks his shirt back in his pants. “I won’t ask much from you, but I will ask that. You don’t wanna talk about it? Fine, I’ll change the subject, but do not lie to me, Lex. Not now. Not ever.”
The simple request has me nodding as I push my underwear back into place. Defensively I counter, “And don’t ever ask me to be someone I’m not.”
The minute he does I’m gone. I already spend enough of my life being the rock star girl that the crowd expects and the kid sister type my band expects, I don’t have room to be anybody else that needs another persona from me. Not even if it’s the one person in the entire world I’m starting to think I’d drop the others for.
Chapter 8
Lex
“What a bitch!” Kronk shakes his head shoving half a sandwich in his mouth.
“I wanted to cunt punch her,” I reply dipping my own sandwich in mustard.
“Why didn’t you?” Kronk reaches across the table for the fallen olives.
“That’s never classy,” I mock.
“And?” his confusion causes me to chuckle. “Since when are you classy?”
“Since I’m being dragged to social events like that. The way she was acting you would think we were in the fucking Hamptons.” I smack on my food.
Yeah. Not real classy either. I know.
“For the record, I’ve partied in the Hampton’s. Nothing nearly as boring as cocktails with the robot wives.”
Kronk wipes his over-sized hands on a napkin and shrugs. “Fuck ‘em. I mean what do you really care, ya know? Not like you’re gonna have to see those bitches again.”
After swallowing my bite I look down at the table. Sensing something he continues to drive the point home, “I mean, you’re not really married to Reed’s kid brother. You’re just fucking pretending.”
“Legally pretending,” I mutter. Looking up I ponder, “Would it really be so bad if...maybe…you know we did this for real?”
Kronk looks at me like I’ve suddenly grown a horn in the middle of my forehead.
Have I? Is it at least tattooed like the rest of me because that might be kinda hot?
“That’s not a fucking possibility, Lex.” He leans both his arms on the table. “Fuck for a minute the fact that him and Mike are from some country club, penguin suit wearing, apple pie baking, and All-American life style bullshit. Small fry isn’t like the other dudes you hook up with on tour. He likes something he can rely on. He likes stability. He needs that consistency. You can tell that by the way his shirts don’t have a wrinkle on them.”
“What does—”
“Dudes should own at least one wrinkled shirt. It’s fuckin’ man law.”
Is that a thing or is he being an idiot? Wait. Never mind.
“And you’re not that girl, Lex. You’re Lix. Spunky. Spontaneous. Please do a head count to make sure she is actually on the fucking bus kinda girl.”
“That only happened four times!”
“Nothin’ wrong with it. It’s just who you are. But in the long run you two aren’t gonna work. Besides, what happens when playing house is over and we’re all back on the road? When you spend more time away from him than with him? What then? What about when you’re ready to fuck groupies in your dressing room again? You think you’re still gonna be content playing Suzie fucking homemaker? Don’t kid yourself, Lex. You’re not that girl,” Kronk repeats, grabs his drum sticks, and strolls away twirling them around his fingers.
I toss my sandwich down and drop my face into my palm.
That’s who I am. The party girl. The good time bitch. The one not allowed to stay anywhere too long because let’s face it, nobody ends up with a girl like me. We always end up alone.
Chapter 9
Tony
With a heavy knock on Maxx and Kellar’s front door I hold my breath and the cupcake box tighter.
I should’ve done this sooner.
The Kid opens the door with a wide grin that quickly drops when he sees me.
Does that have to run in their family too?
“You’re not my date,” he grunts widening the door for me to step through.
“Thank God for that,” I respond and shove my free hand into my jean pocket. “And why is your date picking you up instead of the other way around?”
“Don’t have my license yet remember?” The reminder has me nodding. “Besides, she’s eighteen and loves being in control. Doesn’t like to take no for an answer.” The wink that proceeds has me shaking my head.
Like looking in a mirror to the past for Kellar I’m sure. Before he came to his senses with Maxx, his revolving bedroom had many stories that started like that. Or at least I’m told. I met him at the perfect time. I was part of the straw that helped break that camel’s back.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask following him down the hall and into the open area where I see Maxx stretched out on the couch with her feet in Logan’s lap. When her head lifts from the novel she’s reading to catch my eye, I feel part of my heart break inside. Trying my best to be playful I say, “I see Kellar is paying back his I’m ‘sorry’ in foot rubs.”
“And back rubs,” the Kid pipes in.
“Snitch,” Kellar mumbles to Dean who merely chuckles.
He smirks back in return as he pulls out his phone checking a message. “She’s on her way. I’m gonna do a pocket check.”
“Keys?” Kellar questions the Kid.
“Check.”
“Tic-tacs?”
“Check.”
“Cash?”
“Check.”
“Condoms?” Dean pauses his face contorting like it’s doing algebra.
Swear to God it’s the same face.
“Kid,” Kellar snaps lifting Maxx’s feet off his lap. “What have we always told you about sex?”
“Be smart and safe.” He lets his shoulders sag.
“I’m not saying you’re going to sleep with her, but I’d rather you not end up in a position where you decide to round that base and risk catching something,” he continues, placing a kiss on Maxx’s head before approaching us.
I add, “Besides if you knock a girl up before you graduate high school your mother will neuter you herself.”
“Come on,” Kellar tosses his head at the stairs. “Let’s fix that problem and give them a minute.” Logan nods at me before tossing an arm around the Kid immediately gagging. “What the hell is that smell?”
“My cologne.”
“Did you bottle it from a skunk?” Kellar gags again. “Kid I don’t need to worry about you getting laid smelling like this. What the hell is that?”
The two of them disappear up the stairs that leak into the kitchen leaving me and Maxx alone in the living room. Cautiously, I relocate myself to the leather couch opposite of hers and slide the cupcake box across the coffee table slowly.
“A peace offering.” I gesture towards it.
Having a hard time resisting her favorite food she eyes the box. Skeptical she asks, “Is it chocolate?”
“Am I an idiot?” I counter. She gives me a sarcastic look. “OK well, I am, but it is chocolate on chocolate. Death by Chocolate to be exact.”
An excited gasp comes out of her as her feet hit the floor, “I haven’t had one of those since...since...,” her voice trails off clear with the intention on trying to remember. “Well since Luke went on his Sugar Nazi thing.”
And he really is the worst about it. He’s been concerned about the baby from the beginning, but when the ‘incident’ happened the ropes around everything she eats got tighter. He blamed himself for not being able to see the signs because he’s a nurse. Kellar blamed himself because of his career. They all got to be by her bedside except me. Because I had to go skiing with both sets of parents, as a Christmas vacation. It was a nightmare. But you’re damn right I left as soon as I got the call. After all, this is my real family.
“I know.” I lean back against the couch. With a wink I say, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Maxx struggles to reach for the box over her seven month pregnant round stomach. Eventually she grabs it, opens, and inhales the sweet aroma she’s clearly missed. I notice her body softens when she says, “Alright. Peace offering accepted. I’m listening.”
“Look, Maxx,” I nervously start as she takes her time pulling off the paper from the cupcake. “I know I haven’t been acting like myself since Lex came around—”
“Understatement.”
“But,” I hold up a hand in surrender. “Can you blame me?” Clearly confused she waits for me to continue. “Do you remember how crazy you went over the Kellar situation? You just...got lost in your world. Caught up in your own head. It made you do things and say things you normally wouldn’t, remember?” Maxx slowly nods, so I lean forward. “It’s just like that Maxx except instead of it being someone who thinks I�
��m invisible until it matters to them, it’s over someone who is surrounded by thousands of people, but only chooses to see me.” Her face lightens once more. “I know it’s crazy and I just met her or whatever, but there’s just something there. And it feels good. I feel good. With Lex around I don’t feel like the third wheel in my own life anymore.”
“Tony—”
“Let me finish please. I know it’s not like that. Hell, you and I have a shared love of books and nerd shows that I know you and Kellar never will. But at the same time, you’re a unit, ya know? C.J. and Erin, Luke and Stuart even though they aren’t there yet it’s obvious to everyone but them. Clarissa and Mike. It’s everywhere I go in my life. I’m the only one in it alone...at least I was.”
“Until Lex.”
“Until Lex,” I repeat and shrug again. “Yeah, she’s a bit loud and mouthy—”
“Erin’s the same way and we keep her,” Maxx’s joke lets me know she’s caving.
“True. She’s unconventional, but full of so much life, Maxx. And I want that. I need that. Please don’t hate me for going after it.”
Before she has the chance to have a bite Maxx puts the cupcake down on the glass coffee table. “I don’t.” With a heavy sigh she says, “I may have overreacted to the whole thing a little harsh.”
“A little harsh?”
She glares.
Right. Shutting my mouth now. Good call.
“But I need you to look at it from my point of view, Tony. You’re my best friend. I mean, yeah you’re all my best friends, but I mean...I’m not ready to lose you too.”
“What?”
“Logan has his career. Erin is finally learning it’s okay to be in love. Luke is married to being a nurse and soon everything is going to center around this small person that’s baking inside of me. I’ve already lost the rest of my family to the world. I’m not ready to lose you too.” The corner of her mouth pulls up as a tear forms in her eye. “But that’s kinda selfish huh?”
“Yeah,” I answer and move my body to sit beside her. “But it’s okay to be selfish Max-a-roo.” Pulling her into an awkward angle hug I give her back a stroke and rest my head on top of hers. “But you’re not gonna lose me. You just have to share me a little more.”