by Janie Mason
Rafe struggled to make sure his expression didn’t reflect his displeasure. What did she give him? And why in the hell was she giving this guy gifts anyway? She just met him.
“I am,” Sean said. “I have it in my office at the stadium. As a matter of fact, I’ve had quite a few comments about it already.” He took hold of Heidi’s elbow, glanced in Rafe’s direction and then steered her away. Rafe took the not-so-subtle hint and leaned back over the Toyota, watching the two in his peripheral vision.
“Say, I know this is short notice, but would you be interested in dinner tomorrow night?”
Rafe felt his blood boil with jealousy before a voice inside him piped up.
Sean seems like a nice enough guy. He’s close to her age. He’s got a decent job. This is what you wanted for her. Remember?
“I can’t,” Heidi said. “I’m going to a wedding tomorrow evening.”
“Oh,” Sean began, sounding disappointed.
“How about tonight?” Heidi said.
“Uh, sure,” Sean answered.
What an idiot. The guy sounded almost intimidated at her invitation. He isn’t used to a woman who knows how to speak up, Rafe thought. Probably used to dating witless airheads. Consider yourself the luckiest man on earth, you wimp.
“What time should I pick you up?” Sean asked. “I guess I need to find out where you live, too.”
“No problem. Why don’t I just meet you someplace?” Heidi suggested a local restaurant and time.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you there at seven o’clock,” Sean said. “Bye, Rafe,” he called out.
Heidi walked Sean outside, leaving Rafe to listen to his own grumblings echo under the hood.
“Okay, so he’s got a great car. And I suppose women might find him good-looking, if they’re into Ken dolls.” Rafe looked past the open hood toward the door. What was taking Heidi so damned long?
“And here I thought I’d hurt her so deeply. Ha!” Maybe their lovemaking hadn’t meant as much to her as it had to him. “She didn’t waste any time getting over me. Giving some guy she just met gifts. What’s with that?” Well, she may have been able put last Friday evening behind her, but Rafe would be damned if he could without clearing the air first.
He meticulously wiped his hands with his shop rag, waiting for Heidi. It was almost time to close, and he was not going to let her slip out without talking to him. Within seconds she reappeared and headed toward the restroom to change.
“Heidi,” Rafe said, walking toward her. “We need to talk.”
“About?” She held her head high, but still had to tilt that stubborn little chin up to look at him.
“You know damned well what about. We’ve skirted the issue all week and I, for one, can’t keep doing that.”
Then Rafe noticed the spark in her eyes douse. She chuckled—a sad, tired chuckle that threw him off guard. He tried to regroup. “Last Friday night, when we—” he began, but Heidi cut him off with a gentle wave of her small hand.
She spoke in a hushed, haunting voice. “Do you still believe that what happened between us was a mistake?”
It was the best thing to ever happen to him, but he shouldn’t have let it happen. While he would cherish the memory of their physical closeness for the rest of his life, another part of him would never forgive himself for the way it had destroyed their special friendship.
“Yes.” The single word took all his might and sent a wrecking ball through his heart. Rafe didn’t think anything could ever hurt more until he saw the sadness his answer brought to her eyes.
“Then there’s nothing more to say,” she said, patting his chest over his heart, which had only a moment ago shattered into a million pieces.
Chapter Eight
Rafe had watched Heidi turn and leave the garage, unable to move or speak. He was hurt, bleeding inside; and her expression told him he had inflicted the same pain on her. Sacrificed the most important relationship in his life for, for what? Sex. No, he would never call what they’d shared sex.
It was lovemaking. He had made love to Heidi. He was in love with Heidi. Not like a sister, damn it; like a woman, a lover, a soul mate, a critical half of a destined whole. Somewhere along the line, Heidi Callihan had become as vital to him as breath.
Rafe pressed his hand to his shirtfront, remembering where her hand had rested only minutes ago. He felt something sticking out of his breast pocket and looked down to see the edge of an envelope. Had Heidi been putting it there when she patted his chest? She must have.
Rafe pulled the stiff white envelope out and tore it open, reading the handwritten note.
Rafe—Please consider this note my two weeks’ notice. I owe you so very much, and you deserve better than my leaving. For that, I’m truly sorry. —Heidi
He read the words twice again, hoping he had overlooked some postscript, a “Just kidding” or “Gotcha”, but the only other thing Rafe discovered in her words was a sense of sorrow as deep as his own.
“No,” he roared as the dam of his self-control burst. Rafe reached up and yanked the door of her bay down, the jarring impact on the concrete cracking the small glass windows that spanned the top.
“This has gone on long enough,” he bellowed throughout the garage and quite possibly the block. He yanked the door to his bay closed with an equal lack of finesse, flipped the lock and headed to the office.
“And you thought Heidi wasn’t old enough for you. That’s a joke.” He rifled his fingers through his hair. “Who’s the one that’s been playing games? And look what they’ve gotten you?” Rafe glanced back down at the note he had crumpled in his hand, felt the hot spark of rage, then swiped the top of his desk clean—sending papers, clipboards and pens flying in all directions. The satisfaction was only marginal, and already he could feel panic swell within him. It was when the swivel chair came to rest on the garage floor outside the office window, which was now covered with rough pebbles of glass, Rafe almost laughed. Heidi wouldn’t believe he had just done that. And if he hadn’t been standing there looking at the destruction, his chest heaving and adrenaline coursing through his system, he wouldn’t have believed it either.
“It’s time I stopped worrying about what I think is right and do what feels right.”
Rafe located the phone, set it on the desk and dialed information.
“I need a listing for Sean Fitzgerald.”
—
Hearing the familiar crunching of tires on gravel, Heidi dried her eyes with the already soaked bandana. It was Rafe’s truck. The lump in her throat dropped like a dusty boulder to her stomach. She had hoped he would accept her resignation without question, without her having to defend her decision face-to-face. But fate and Joe Rafferty weren’t about to let her off so easily.
Was he furious? She wouldn’t blame him if he was.
He had treated her as if she were a member if his own family, and how was she repaying him? By quitting. Well, it couldn’t be helped.
Heidi set Attila down on the sofa next her and stood, brushing cat hairs off the front of Gigi’s black dress. She had taken a break in getting ready for her dinner date with Sean, hoping some kitten-cuddling would get her mind off how much she already missed Rafe. It hadn’t worked.
She reached the front door just as he knocked. A reasonable knock. Maybe she could do this.
“Rafe,” she said, opening the storm door. Heidi took a small step back from his overpowering presence in an attempt to shore up her will. He took advantage of the lapse and made his way past her into the living room.
“We need to talk,” he said, turning back to face her.
Heidi locked her knees and stood her ground inside the doorway, afraid her legs might give out should she try to move.
“I don’t have anything else to say.” Her gaze fixed on his dusky grey eyes.
“But I do.” Rafe closed the distance between them and took her hand from where she had been gripping the edge of the door. How she longed to rotate her hand a half-t
urn and lace her fingers with his. And never let them go. But Rafe had no such feelings. He had been doing his best to turn back the clocks and pretend that nothing had changed their relationship.
“Rafe, now is not a good time.” Even as she said the words he closed the door, leaving only scant inches between them. Heidi tipped her chin up, almost dizzy from the power he held over her. Something about him seemed different, but her brain was already so close to meltdown she couldn’t identify what it was.
“I have to leave to meet Sean,” she said. “I’ll see you—”
“No, you don’t,” Rafe said, cutting her off. He was so close Heidi felt his breath stirring her bangs, and she had to close her eyes to try and comprehend.
“What did you say?”
“Sean won’t be there.” His eyes gave no clue as to what he had in store.
But Heidi wasn’t about to stand back and wait.
“And just how do you know that?” Suspicion and anger began to loosen the mental stronghold he held over her.
“Because I called and told him you weren’t available after all.”
“You what?” After the week she’d had, tolerance was non-existent. Filled with outrage, Heidi took a step toward the telephone, but that was as far as she got. Click. Already fuming, she looked down in shock at the handcuff Rafe had snapped around her wrist. Déjà vu.
“Oh, quit your whining.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice.
Heidi was uncharacteristically speechless as Rafe snapped the other cuff to his own wrist. It took a moment before her mental pistons began to fire.
“Touché,” she said. “Now we’re even. Okay, Rafe, unlock me.” Although she knew she deserved it, Heidi didn’t think Rafe’s joke was a bit funny.
“Oh, now that’s where you’re wrong. We aren’t close to being even.”
Rafe let her stretch to the handset of the phone, then pulled it out of her hand. Dragging her in his wake, he crossed to the front door, opened it, and pitched the handset down the new concrete stairs. Heidi didn’t have to see it to know her phone was history.
“You’re going to pay for a new phone,” she demanded as he closed the door and dragged her behind him to the sofa.
“Okay.” He sat while she remained standing. “But first, you’re going to hear me out.”
He was acting so damned casual Heidi wanted to clock him. At least she’d had enough of a conscience to feel guilty when she had locked him up. Heidi looked around for something to hit him with, but the only thing within reach was Attila, and at the moment the little traitor was rubbing his jaw against Rafe’s elbow.
“Hey, Attila,” Rafe said, scratching the underside of the kitten’s chin like they were best buddies. If she hadn’t been in bare feet she would have kicked Rafe in the shin.
“Joseph Rafferty, unlock these handcuffs right now,” she demanded. Heidi was exhausted but refused to sit next to him on the sofa.
“Oooo, she called me Joseph,” he told the purring kitten. “She must really be mad.” Then Rafe looked back up at her.
“What was it you told me? Oh yeah,” he said, his eyes skyward as if struggling to remember. “I can’t unlock you just yet.” He paused, presumably in order for Heidi to recall she had used those very words.
“I don’t know what it is you’re trying to prove, Rafe, but I’ll tell you right now, I am not in the mood.” She drilled him with a look meant to burn his retinas.
“I’m sorry to hear that, because I’ve got to admit, seeing you in that dress again has put me in the mood.” His gaze slid up Heidi’s body and then back down again, sending a sudden thrill through her.
Her attraction to Rafe was a major Achilles heel, and it angered Heidi that he was using it against her. She tugged at the cuff, trying to squeeze her hand out of the loop.
“That isn’t funny,” she said, trying not to hurt herself as she pulled.
“I wasn’t making a joke,” Rafe said, his voice smooth and rich. “And I don’t like the idea of you wearing this dress for another man.”
“What do you care?” She avoided his eyes as she continued pulling against the cuff.
“Oh, I care, all right. I’ve cared for a while now,” he answered with a warm tone that tried to wrap itself around her.
Heidi fought back, not daring to hope he was talking about jealousy. “Yes, I know, you care for me. Like you care for Trisha and Joanie.”
“Wrong again.” He tugged her forward with his cuffed wrist until she stood between his knees. Heidi’s bare shins pressed against the front of the sofa, and the smooth chintz fabric was cool against her skin.
“The way I feel about my sisters cannot be compared to the way I feel about you.” Rafe’s fingertips toyed with the edge of her short hem.
Gulp. Heidi let her gaze slide to meet his and then looked away.
Don’t let yourself get swept away by your hormones, she thought. It hurts too much afterwards.
She returned her gaze to his. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either.” Heidi was pleased at the way she fueled her own fire.
“And what makes you think I don’t want you?” Rafe said, sounding irritated.
He wasn’t supposed to sound irritated, he was supposed to confess his obvious guilt.
“Did I miss something?” she replied, her volume increasing. “Gee, where in the world could I have gotten that idea?” Heidi held her index finger to the small bandage at her temple. “Maybe from you saying, twice mind you, that what happened between us was a big, fat mistake!”
“I might have said that, but I didn’t mean it,” Rafe said. He was keeping a hold on his temper. Well, that made one of them.
“Oh, I’m supposed to be a mind reader, too?” she said.
Rafe’s nostrils flared slightly, in either anger or frustration, but Heidi didn’t care. It couldn’t even begin to match her feelings.
“No, of course not.” He paused as if measuring his words. “Do you love me?”
Oh, like she was supposed to hang herself out to dry?
“No.” Heidi was certain she sounded convincing, and she almost meant it.
“Bull.”
“Think what you like. I really don’t care.” She tried to cross her arms, but the weight of his on the other cuff prevented it.
“I don’t think you would have made love to me if you didn’t love me.”
Heidi hated that he was dead-on center.
“Shows what you know,” she replied.
“Prove it.”
The childish dare from a man like Rafe caught her off guard. “What?”
“Kiss me.”
“I don’t want to kiss you. I want to shoot you.”
“If you can kiss me and tell me you don’t love me, I’ll unlock the cuffs.” He had just made it a triple-dog dare.
“Fine.” She bent over and pecked him on the cheek as fast as a chicken at a pile of grain. “Now unlock me and go away.”
“No, I meant a real kiss. The kind of kiss you gave me last Friday.”
“I wasn’t the only one doing the giving,” she said, trying to defend what little honor she had left and, at the same time, detour this discussion.
“Very true,” Rafe said, without a rise of defenses. “So, what do you say? Want me to unlock the cuffs and leave?”
“The sooner, the better.”
“Well then, you’re going to have to sit on my lap for the kind of kiss I’m talking about,” he said, eyes sparkling. The devil was trying to stack the deck in his favor.
“Or you could stand up.”
“Chicken?” he taunted.
Her independent nature took charge before she could recognize his ploy. Heidi was on his lap in a nanosecond. “Fine, okay, let’s get this over with.” Sitting stiff as a carjack, she puckered her lips and closed her eyes.
“Hei-di,” he drew out.
She lifted her shoulders in a dramatic sigh and then relaxed her lips, and before she sensed his approach, Rafe’s lips w
ere on hers. The kiss was so light and tender, Heidi wasn’t sure whether the bargain had been met. But when his lips met hers a second time, all thought dissolved.
She opened her mouth to him, and together their tongues began a slow, seductive dance. Rafe’s free hand cupped the back of her head, and she let him support her weight as she sank into his embrace. Heidi felt the growing ridge of his arousal press against her bottom, and vivid memories of their joined bodies flooded her.
She had to stop this. Her plan had been to fulfill her end of the bargain, pop up off his lap and kick him out of her house. But this game had suddenly turned deadly. Her heart couldn’t withstand another beating. Heidi pulled away.
“If you’re doing this just so I won’t quit, I’m begging you, please don’t.”
Rafe’s irises were dark and stormy, and he looked as if he had to find his way back from a great distance in order to speak.
“I probably deserved that,” he finally said, surprising her, “although it hurts like hell to hear you say it.”
She sat up straight, afraid to let herself to find comfort in his hold.
“I admit, I’ll do anything to prevent you from leaving Rafferty’s.”
That was not what Heidi had wanted to hear. Unable to escape, she had to look away as Rafe continued.
“But that’s not what this is about.”
“Then what is it about?” she asked, not knowing how much longer she could hold it all together.
“It’s about me loving you, Heidi.”
Her eyes flew to his in surprise. She had to be imagining this.
“Not like a sister, or a cousin, or even a close friend; but like a man loves a woman.”
Heidi felt like she had crammed for history only to be handed a math test. She was absolutely speechless.
His eyes said he was telling the truth, but…
“Heidi?”
“I don’t get it, Rafe, only a couple hours ago you said that what happened between us was a mistake.”
“I did say that,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. I’ve been such an idiot, thinking I had all the answers. It wasn’t until I read your note that I figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”