by Nikki Carter
“I know, but we can e-mail, call, and text one another, right?”
Somehow I don’t believe he’s this gone over me after a couple weeks. “Seriously, Rashad, what about senior year back at your school? You can’t tell me you don’t have a girl waiting on you back home.”
“Actually, I don’t.”
For the second time, Rashad catches me off guard and plants a kiss on my lips. And again I’m frozen in time. I close my eyes and inhale and taste the cinnamon scent on his breath.
“Back up off her,” I hear Ricky say from across the subway car.
Now he’s moving toward us, looking mad as I don’t know what. Rashad does back up, but he’s laughing at Ricky. “Why can’t you let her decide without sticking your tongue down her throat?”
“Because she likes it. She doesn’t stop me.”
Ricky looks at me like he wants an answer. I don’t know what to say. I do like Rashad’s kisses; I’m not gonna lie.
“Rashad, this is not the time or place for that, and you know it. We’re on our way to church,” I say.
This is the best I can do without telling a bold-faced lie. Ricky looks at me like he’s totally disappointed. I hate to see his feelings hurt, and for that reason Rashad has just lost cool points with me.
We get off the E, and we have to take the Q05 bus the rest of the way. Thank goodness we timed the trip right. It would’ve been all bad if we had to stand together waiting for a bus. Fortunately, it’s coming as soon as we leave the subway station.
On the bus I score a seat next to Melody. I don’t know where she’s been anyway! She’s definitely not doing her job running interference. Ricky and Rashad almost came to blows on the subway.
“Gia, you’ve got them both open. You know that, right?”
“I understand about Ricky. We’ve been crushing for the longest, but I don’t get Rashad. What he just did on the subway seemed unreal.”
“I think he only did that to get Ricky mad though.”
I nod but ponder the conversation we had. He was talking about taking this beyond the summer and into senior year. That feels impossible, seeing that I’ll be in one city, and he’ll be hundreds of miles away in another city. That’s crazy.
But maybe this is why I imagined Ricky with that other girl. Maybe I’m the one who’s gonna kick him to the curb. Maybe I won’t have a prom date, because my boyfriend will be in another state.
That can’t be it, can it? I really do like Rashad, but I can’t see me spending my entire senior year of high school having a long-distance boyfriend in another state. That just doesn’t even make any sense, especially when I have Ricky here willing to be my boyfriend.
Well, he’s willing for now. He looked really mad when he saw Rashad kissing me and was defenseless to stop it. His pride won’t let him do anything remotely close to fighting Rashad for me. I have to be the one to make the choice.
But I don’t know what to do. I don’t want it to be my decision. I just want one of them to get out of the way.
But which one?
We get to our stop after a short ride. Melody and I are off last, and I’m concerned because as we get off the bus, Ricky and Rashad are talking. I don’t know if I want to hear what they’re talking about. But it can’t be too bad because they’re not punching each other out.
“The church is over there.” Rashad points. “Come on. Service is about to start soon.”
Ricky doesn’t look completely cool as he strolls next to Xavier, but he does look less mad than he did on the subway. I don’t know what they were talking about, but I hope it wasn’t anything crazy like them deciding I was too much trouble. How crazy would that be? I am a lot of trouble, but I’m totally worth it.
I walk up to Ricky and tap him on the shoulder. “What’s up, Gia?” he asks. His voice sounds a lot calmer.
“I’m sorry, Ricky. If I had known Rashad was gonna do that, I wouldn’t have let him. He keeps catching me when I’m not ready.”
Ricky nods. “Yeah, that’s what he said. He apologized for disrespecting me.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, I totally didn’t expect it. He said something about really liking you but that it’s no reason for him to hate on another dude.”
“Wow.”
“But, Gia?”
“What?”
“I’m gonna need you to back up off me right now. You smell like his cologne, and that’s just making me mad. How you gonna step to me smelling like another dude?”
I sniff my top. “I guess I was crammed against him on the subway.”
“It’s all good. But check it out: after church, you’re going back to the dorm to change, and we’re going on a date. A real date. Just us.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I’m asking. You haven’t spent any alone time with me since we got here, but Rashad has had plenty of time to make his little moves.”
This is true. Ricky and I have been only in group activities since we landed in New York City. I guess I do owe him that. “Okay, what are we doing?”
“Well, I’m not Rashad. I can’t take you on a tour all over the city. But we can go to ESPN Zone. I know where that is.”
A huge smile spreads across my face. “I’d love to go with you, Ricky.”
We follow Rashad into the church, and an usher leads us to some seats in the balcony. We get here just in time because service is starting. Guess where I get to sit? Between Ricky and Rashad.
I really feel like a queen bee right about now.
You know how, like, with bees, the workers spend all their time making sure the queen is healthy, happy, and full? It’s kinda like that with Ricky and Rashad. It’s like they’re taking turns making sure I’m content and having a good time in New York. It’s weird, but, strangely enough, I’m enjoying it.
The praise dancers start up about twenty minutes into the service. They are awesome! It’s nothing like our little unprofessional dancing back home. There are some girls who are obviously trained in ballet and modern dance. Their high kicks, jumps, and twirls are mind-blowing, and the song is great too.
I find myself standing and watching the dancers with all my attention. The beauty of it makes me forget that Rashad is sitting to the left and Ricky is sitting to the right.
I don’t take my seat again until the dancers are done. Everyone claps for them, but no one is clapping harder than me.
“I told you you would like it, Princess,” Rashad whispers in my ear as I sit down.
I feel like Rashad has just given me a gift, and I don’t even think he knows how special it is. “Thank you” is all I can muster in response.
After the service is over, Rashad takes us down to the first floor of the sanctuary so we can meet his friends. One of the dancers runs up and hugs Rashad. She’s still got her dance apparel on, complete with glitter on her face that promptly gets all over Rashad. She kisses him on the face like they are very well acquainted.
I feel a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. When Rashad kisses her back, I feel like I could choke that girl. She better be glad we’re in the house of the Lord.
“Brielle, meet my friends from the program. This is Gia, Ricky, Xavier, and Melody. Guys, this is my friend Brielle. We met last summer.”
“It’s nice to meet you all. Welcome to our church!”
Her New York accent is thick, like she’s never been anywhere else but Jamaica, Queens.
“I enjoyed the dancing,” I say. “It was really awesome. Thank you.”
Brielle smiles. “Oh, my God, where are you from? You sound almost as country as Rashad.”
Rashad says, “I don’t sound country!”
“Yeah, Rashad. You kinda do,” Ricky says.
Melody adds, “You all sound ridiculous to me!”
“Right. You’re Miss Boooooston,” Xavier says, exaggerating Melody’s New England accent.
The conversation is pretty funny, but I can’t stop looking at Brielle. She’s al
most in a trance gazing at Rashad, like she’s completely gone over him. He says she’s just a friend, but I’m thinking she’s a lot more than that.
And I bet she thinks so too.
13
“I challenge you to a duel,” Ricky says as we’re seated at our table at the ESPN Zone in Times Square.
“Oh, really? What kind of duel?”
“Air hockey!”
“Okay, Ricky! It’s on!”
He smiles at me, and for the first time all day he doesn’t look stressed and annoyed. He reaches across the table and touches the butterfly clip I returned to my braids for this afternoon’s date. “You’re wearing my barrette. I thought you’d gotten rid of it.”
“You’re crazy. I’d never do that.”
I don’t tell him that the reason I take it out so much is because I can’t constantly be thinking of him while I’m out with Rashad. I’m not that good of a player.
“Do you want something to eat first?” Ricky asks.
“Yes, of course.”
He opens the menu and then looks at me. “I think you want a cheeseburger today with fries and a Coke.”
“Very good. I am definitely hungry enough to eat a man-sized burger right now.”
“I’m sure. It takes a lot of energy to be a female mack.”
“Boy, stop.”
The waitress comes to the table, and he orders food for both of us. I like that he does that. I don’t know how to explain it, but it makes me feel like a girl. Sometimes I want to feel like that.
“So what was up with Sienna hurling everywhere?” Ricky asks.
“I don’t know what’s up with her. She needs to stop drinking like that before something happens to her.”
“What if she’s really sick though? Like maybe she has a bad case of the flu.”
“All the more reason for her to stop with the alcohol!”
“You ever been drunk?” Ricky asks.
“Umm…no! And if I had been, you would already know about it. What’s wrong with you?”
“Gia, there’s a lot of stuff I don’t know about you. Like, I didn’t know you loved praise dance like that.”
“So you don’t know everything about me. I think that’s good, right? Wouldn’t it be boring if you already knew everything?”
“I guess. I’ve been thinking about our dance step, and this time I want it to be a little bit hotter. I want us to almost look like we’re slow dancing, but on a fast song.”
“Sounds hot. What made you think of that?”
“Maybe I’m tired of seeing other people push up on you. It’s my turn to push up.”
“Go for what you know then!”
For some reason, this new declaration from Ricky excites me. He’s never been assertive before. It’s like he’s always just known he had me without putting in any work. Rashad is making him rethink his whole strategy.
“Talking about pushing up, you know Kevin is talking to your sister, right? He’s already picking out prom dresses for her to wear.”
“Only Kevin would pick out his date’s prom dress.”
“Yeah, he said he wanted something reminiscent of Gone With the Wind.”
I shake my head. Kevin is always gonna be Kevin, I suppose! I remember when just a couple years ago he was crushing on me too. I think he gave up when it was obvious who I was really digging; plus Candy swept him off his feet with her long braids.
“What’s up with Hope?” Ricky asks. “I haven’t even gotten a text from her this entire time.”
“I’m not sure, but I think she’s decided she’s marrying Brother Bryan.”
Brother Bryan is the too-fine director of our youth choir back home. I have to say that Hope and I both shared crushes on him, but I grew out of mine. Hope’s has gotten stronger than ever.
Ricky shakes his head and laughs. “Bryan is grown. He is not thinking about Hope.”
“Well, she seems to think he’s waiting for her to grow up too.”
“Hope is crazy.”
“That she is.”
My phone buzzes on my hip. “Oh, look. You talked her up. I don’t have to answer it if you don’t want me to. I know we’re on a date.”
“Answer it!”
“Hey, Hope. This better be important because I’m out on a date with Ricky.” Hope squeals at the top of her lungs. I have to hold the phone away from my ear. “Hope!”
“Sorry, Gia! But you’re on your first real date with Ricky! That’s hot.”
I guess this is our first real date. It would’ve been Homecoming last year, but Hope’s meddling had us all traveling in a pack. Then he was supposed to be my escort for the debutante ball, but I ended up sharing him with Sascha Cohen because she didn’t have an escort. Everything here has been group related. So, yeah. This is our first real date.
Yay!
“As I’m on my first date with Ricky, you need to make it snappy. What do you want?”
“Oh, I just wanted to tell you I decided to be a Hi-Stepper again next year. With you being the captain, I’m sure to make the A squad. It’s gonna be awesome!”
I lift my eyebrows as far as they can go. Yes, I am going to be the sole captain of the Hi-Stepper squad next year, but there was a reason Hope was bumped down to the B squad our sophomore year. She completely destroyed a very pivotal routine with her two left feet. I only made the A squad after she screwed up, and then I went on to be co-captain. Now senior year is coming, and I’m set to go down in history with the hottest Hi-Stepper squad ever.
“Gia, are you there? You didn’t say anything.”
“Umm…yeah, so how’s the weather at home?”
Hope gasps. “Gia, you aren’t going to continue that ridiculous ban on me that Valerie had going!”
“No, there’s no ban on you, Hope. I just don’t want you to get the idea that because I’m gonna be the captain, you’ve got an automatic slot. We’re gonna hold auditions like we always do.”
“Right, and then after the auditions you’re going to select me for the A squad because that’s what cousins and best friends do. Don’t try to play me, Gia.”
“Hope, can I please talk to you about this later? I’m neglecting Ricky, and he’s looking lonely.”
Hope scoffs, “I don’t care what he’s looking like. We’re talking about important stuff here. Me and the Hi-Steppers.”
“I promise I’ll call you back later, okay?”
“Gia, you better. I’m not kidding.”
“Okay.”
Ricky laughs as I press “end” on the phone. “Didn’t Hope, like, make half the Hi-Steppers fall during a halftime show?”
“I’m glad you remember that because she seems to have conveniently forgotten why she got dropped to the B squad.”
“What about the rally girls? I thought she was riding hard with them.”
The rally girls are like spirit boosters for the teams at our school. They plan parties, dances, pep rallies, and stuff like that, but they aren’t an official school-sanctioned sport. They don’t even get to go on the school bus with us anywhere.
“She was with them, but she’s ready to come back to the Hi-Steppers. I don’t know if we’re ready for her, though.”
Ricky starts bobbing his head to the song playing on the speakers. “Come on and dance with me.”
“What’s this song? I don’t know it.”
“It’s ‘Brand New’ by Drake. I like it.”
“But there’s no dance floor here,” I protest.
“When has that ever stopped us before?”
He pulls me up from the table, and we start to do a slow dance that looks like the steps we normally do, only a slower remix. I snake over to the right while he snakes to the left. Our snaps are on point, and when we bring it back, we’re nose to nose, dancing closer than we ever have.
I feel like Ricky is about to kiss me, but he doesn’t, and the music changes to a fast cut. Some Jonas Brothers song or something. It’s cool though because it was enough of a rush for us t
o be that close. I don’t know if I could’ve handled him kissing me right then.
“That’s what I’m talking about for our step, Gia. What do you think?”
I exhale as I sit back down at the table. “Yeah, it’s most definitely hot.”
I feel so crazy right now! When I’m with Ricky, he’s the only one I’m thinking about, but I feel the same way when I’m with Rashad. How am I ever going to choose between the two? Maybe I won’t have to. Maybe when we go home, I’ll never hear from Rashad again, and it’ll be over.
Because, for real, it doesn’t look like Ricky’s going anywhere.
14
“Hey, Sienna,” I say as I walk through Lerner Hall. Sienna is chilling in the game room watching television.
She doesn’t speak back, so I repeat myself. “I said, hey, Sienna.”
“Why are you talking to me, Gia? It’s obvious I’m cool on you.”
“When did that happen?”
“Why do you care? Go find one of your dudes to talk to,” Sienna says.
I shrug and keep going. I’m sure not going to waste any time talking to someone who doesn’t want to talk to me. Plus, it’s Wednesday night, and I’ve got to finish a paper for class and meet up with Ricky to put the finishing touches on our dance step. Only three nights to practice until the party. I don’t want to miss my opportunity for Beyoncé to see me getting my groove on. Shoot, I could definitely be a backup dancer on tour with her!
I don’t have time for anyone that’s drama filled. Especially Sienna.
When I get back to my bedroom, Melody is sprawled across the bed looking exhausted. “Girl, what’s up with you? You look like you just got whupped!”
“I went to this boot-camp class with Sienna, and I am whupped! Every muscle in my body is in pain.”
“Why do y’all torture yourselves like that?”
“It’s for Sienna. She insists that she can’t get fat because she can’t be a rapper’s girlfriend and be fat. She’s got jump-offs to compete with.”
“Well, honestly, I don’t care what Sienna thinks. She just dissed me over in Lerner Hall for no reason. I spoke, and she didn’t speak back.”
“Yeah, she’s not really feeling you, I’m afraid.”