The commissario relit his cigar. “Maybe,” he said dryly, “but the majority will look on it as a crime committed among pathetic old folk.”
“I know,” Ghinelli said sadly, “but I don’t much care.”
Soneri felt there was more to be said. He had an overwhelming sense that besides the politics and the desire for revenge, there was a private motive behind Ghinelli’s flight, and once again the urge to ask the question became strong, but at the crucial moment, he found himself lost for words. What was lacking was the more intimate, the perhaps less noble but infinitely more human side of things. All he could do was whisper, “You have not told me everything.”
The old man once more peered at him with focused menace and deep rage, and this allowed the commissario finally to utter the question, the question he should have asked first, even though he also knew that if he had, he would never have found out what he now knew.
“Why after fifty years?” he said, ignoring the replies he had already been given.
His insistence implicitly meant that he wanted to know all the rest, the factors that now seemed to him the most important of all.
He watched Ghinelli’s face dissolve among its wrinkles into an expression which could produce either laughter or tears. Finally it settled into a bitter, sardonic grin, perhaps one of shame. “Because first I wanted to live,” he said.
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River of Shadows cs-1 Page 24