The workers catch me this time before my shins hit once again. Before they can get me unharnessed, I’m surrounded by all three guys.
“Whoa!”
“Dude! She did the Spiderman!”
“It was alright.”
“Alright? Eric, she totally made you look like a pussy!” Mack punches him in the arm.
“Whatever!” he mutters, turning to head back down towards the parking lot.
“I thought it was awesome!” Jared whispers to me, picking me up to help me slip out of the harness. Placing me on my feet in front of him, he motions for me to guide the way this time.
“When did you come up with the idea to do that?” Mack asks me.
“I don’t know. I just kind of let go and gravity did it for me.”
“So awesome! You know this is going down in zip-lining history right?”
Eric honks at Mack from his car to hurry it along.
Reluctantly, he pats me on the back and adds, “Looks like someone is in a rush to go home and sulk. Jared, she’s invited to every zip-lining trip ever! She’s awesome!” he hollers as he runs off towards Eric’s car after the third, very persistent honk.
“I don’t know whether to be happy or concerned that my friends like you so much,” Jared tells me as we come around his Jeep. I slide into the passenger seat as he practically jumps into the driver’s seat.
“Your friends are smart. They recognize awesome when they see it – everyone but Eric, that is!” I tell him, clicking into my seat belt.
“Eric is a hard nut to crack, I don’t even think he likes me very much, but I sign his paychecks so he better deal!” He smirks at me, indicating he’s joking.
Starting off towards home, I feel the wind whipping around my face and the steady thrum of the engine begins to lull me to sleep.
I AWAKEN ONLY WHEN the car screeches to a stop in the driveway. I have a headache, but I try to ignore it, shaking my head as I climb out of the car. My foot gets stuck and I almost fall flat on my face onto the concrete driveway. The only thing keeping me from kissing the pavement is the seatbelt I forgot to take off. Jared loops around the Jeep in record speed to help me out of my seatbelt. Only then do I feel the throbbing pain as I put weight on my foot.
“Ahhh,” I mutter, practically falling into Jared’s arms.
“What is it?” he asks and I try to hide the tears welling in my eyes as I look up.
“My leg!” It’s all I can get out, muffling another scream. Pulling out his phone he turns the flashlight on to illuminate the bottom half of my right leg. I’m covered in dried blood. Maybe I can blame the blood loss, but my first reaction is:
“AW! These are my favorite jeans!”
“We have to get you to a hospital!” he states, picking me up under my shoulders and placing me back onto the seat.
“NO! I can’t!” I scream, struggling against him as he tried to put my seat belt back on.
“You‘re bleeding like crazy. We have to get you help!” His anxiety is rising; I can tell from the way his voice goes a little high-pitched.
I grab his tee shirt before he can move. “No, you don’t understand, I don’t have insurance… I can’t afford to go to the hospital.”
He looks me in the eye, like he finally understands.
“I can’t afford another bill right now, Jared,” I admit, not able to look him in the eye.
He pauses for a second, biting his bottom lip as he’s debating his options. Without warning, he hooks my arm over his shoulders and picks me back up. He then heads in the house. He practically kicks the door down before placing me on the couch just inside the first room and he disappears. I lean back against the light color couch, running my fingers along the fine cloth. Maybe this is the wrong place for a bleeding mess like me to be right now. But before I can move, Jared is back with a large first aid kit in his hands. Without a word, he rips open the leg of my jeans up to my knee.
“Now look what you did! I’ll never be able to wear these again!” I mutter, throwing my arm over my face.
“I’m pretty sure those are the least of your worries.” He tries to hide his sarcasm in my vulnerable state. Before I can retort, he continues. “It’s deep. I think you need stiches… are you sure…”
“Jared, please,” I can’t hold back the tears any longer; one has already escaped and ventured down my cheek. He pauses again, looking me in the eyes before nodding and getting to his feet.
“This isn’t going to be pretty…” he warns me, opening a cabinet in the corner, under a drooping plant. I have to blink twice before my eyes register the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hands. “You’re going to need this.”
“Oh, Jack! My old friend!” I pull the bottle to my chest in a hug.
“Believe me, you don’t want to be sober for this!” He takes the bottle back and pours me a glass. I begin to sip it quietly as I watch him readying what looks like a needle and floss. He grabs a disinfectant wipe out of the kit and rips it open with his teeth before he pauses to look at me. I take another swig of Jack and nod. The wipe feels like sandpaper against my wound. I scream in agony and push Jared away by the shoulder.
“I have to clean it. Relax and take another sip,” he tells me, ready to sandpaper me again.
“Do you have any anesthesia in that kit of yours?”
“Nope, that must be in another kit.” I see his eyes roll slightly, but worry seems to overpower his sense of humor. “Are you sure you want to do this? I can take you…”
“I’m sure. Nevermind,” I put my cup down on the table and grab the bottle. Leaning my head back, I let the alcohol drip down my throat. Thank God it’s the honey flavor so it’s easier to get down. I swallow a few times before I feel it humming through my veins. My vision gets a little hazy, and the room is slightly slanted. “Okie dokey, I’m ready!”
He takes a deep breath. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” he repeats. “I will pay for your hospital bill…”
“It’s okay. You look like you’re good with your hands.”
He looks at me oddly and I burst out laughing when I realize what I just said. A sly smile creeps over his face at my change in disposition.
“I mean, I trust you.”
“Okay.” He sighs before rubbing once again at the open gash on my leg. I don’t even feel it this time. He readies the floss through the needle and is about to puncture me when he looks at me. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I say, nodding my head once before staring up at the ceiling, hoping I don’t feel a thing.
My hopes are shattered as I feel the tip penetrate my skin and slide through it to the other side. It glides along in painful precision until I feel it stop at the knot. I don’t realize I’m screaming until Jared is grabbing my face.
“April! April!” His eyes are wild with terror.
“I’m okay, I’m okay!” I grab his wrist and look deep into his eyes, trying to calm him down, “I’m okay. I can do this.”
He kneels back on his knees, reaches for his belt, and swings it out through the loops. I reach over and take another long swig of Good Ol’ Jacky D and take the belt from him.
“Bite down hard every time you want to scream.”
I nod, showing I heard him.
He picks up the needle where he dropped it on the couch. My blood is already making its mark on his furniture. This time, I don’t look up at the ceiling; there’s no point. If I’m going to feel it, I want to watch every second. I place the belt between my teeth, take a deep breath, and nod once again. Jared doesn’t hesitate this time. He begins right away, knowing the faster he begins, the faster this is over with.
I never scream once. My teeth have a death grip on his belt and I’m pretty sure I’ll taste leather for the rest of my life, but I never scream. I watch as Jared weaves the needle in and out of my skin like an expert. Even though my vision is blurred and it’s hard to keep my head straight I realize I was right – Jared is good with his hands. By the time he slides th
e last loop in and cuts off the string with his teeth, I let my head fall back against the pillows. He looks over at me and pries the belt from my mouth.
“It’s okay, it’s over,” he says. “I think it’s time you get some rest.” He picks up the bottle of Jack from the table and pours the rest over my leg. I must be numb or exhausted because I don’t seem to feel it.
He comes to kneel beside me. “I’m just going to …” he struggles to inform me as his arms circle around me. I drowsily lean into him and let him pick me up off the couch. I vaguely feel when he kicks the front door closed. My blurry vision is captured by the damaged lock dangling down from its loose screws. I close one eye and look up at Jared’s face, hard, serious, concentrated.
“Thanks, Jare,” I tell him as we ascend the steps. “Turns out I was right … you are good with your hands.”
He smirks at my attempt at a joke. “Considering I just performed minor surgery, I’d say so!”
“Where’d you learn to do that?” I whisper, my cheek on his shoulder.
“Well, you snowboard and cliff dive enough, you learn how to fix things,”
“So you’ve done that before?”
“I’ve popped in a nose and a shoulder or two, but no, I’ve never had to stitch someone up before.” He jostles me around a bit as we reach the second floor. He walks me into the room all the way down the hall to the left. My body slides closer to him as his elbow flicks the light on. My nose touches the edge of his neck before he maneuvers himself over to the bed and places me down on a white metal bed. He carefully sets me down so that I’m sitting up on top of the lavender covers. As I look around, I notice everything is lavender; it’s like purple threw up in here. My head is spinning and I have to lean back against the cool metal post to center myself again. Jared pulls up a white wicker chair from the corner, and what do you know, it has purple pillows.
My eyes gravitate down to my leg and I gasp. “I look like Frankenstein!” I shriek before meeting Jared’s eyes. “Will I have a scar?”
“I hope not. I’d hate to be the one responsible for ruining your perfect legs!”
“You know what?” I come to an epiphany as I pull myself up from the bed. “It would be an honor to be scarred by you, Jare Bear! The scar can remind me of when I got my fight back. It’ll serve as a reminder never to get back to the point where I was. This scar marks the new April. I will take it as an honor.”
He makes a funny look at me that my blurry vision just slightly catches. I ignore it and throw the covers over my leg, mainly because I can’t stand him staring at them any longer. Scooting down further into the bed, I lay my head gently against the pillows.
“Jare, do you remember the time when we found that old stick of dynamite in that barn by the lake and lit it by accident?”
I see the memory dance behind his eyes as his grin widens. “Yea, that was quite a fun night.”
“Well, I have to say... I think today was better that!” I swing my arm for emphasis. “I mean besides the whole Bride of Frankenstein scar and everything.” I hiccup.
“Why, April Landau, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were drunk!”
I gasp, sitting up slightly. “Jared Hoffman! This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?! To get me drunk and take me to bed!” I sternly wave my finger in his face for emphasis.
“Oh, you caught me!” He raises his hands like I’m pointing a gun at him.
I giggle, coming back down into my pillows before the room becomes a total tornado. Things become silent between us, and I nuzzle into the pillow as my mind becomes a blur. I feel Jared shifting his weight like he’s about to get up.
“Jare Bear?”
There’s a slight pause before I hear, “Yes?”
“Don’t leave me,” I whisper, reaching for his hand.
“I won’t,” he whispers back.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” He links his hand with mine and my mind is suddenly content enough to leave consciousness.
I AWAKEN SOMETIME during the night, and my eyes blink open to find nothing but darkness. I wait for them to adjust to an unfamiliar bedroom when I slowly begin to remember where I am. I’m distracted when I hear a soft snore escaping from next to me. Eyeing the dark silhouette in the chair beside me, I smile. Our hands are now on the bed and slightly in an awkward position, but they are still linked. He never left.
AS MY EYES OPEN the next day, the sun streams in through the lavender curtains. The first thing my eyes gravitate to is my empty hand, palm up on the bed. That’s when I hear the running water coming from down the hall. Climbing to my feet to investigate, I wobble once as the pain in my leg reminds me of last night’s activities. Glancing down, I notice the red wound with the black stitching running practically the entire length of my shin. My jeans are destroyed. One side is perfectly fine, but the other is a pair of shorts. This is not exactly how I pictured my first sleepover with Jared. I limp to the door before my mind registers the pounding headache echoing inside my skull. Geez, how much did I drink?
Stumbling out into the hallway, I hear Jared humming to himself in the bathroom. Is it horrible that I’m picturing the imagery? Jared naked only a few feet from me, using that soap I love so much. Oh Lord! I roll my eyes as I continue all the way across the hall to the other side of the house. It’s the side that borders mine and I find myself in Jared’s room. It looks almost exactly the same as it did when we were kids. Maroon walls, white trim, and Star Wars movie posters on the far wall. Only now, he has books instead of dinosaurs, and it looks like he traded his Batman sheets for plain cream ones. My eye lands on the view of his window; it literally looks directly into mine. I watch Jinx’s stomach rise and fall on the corner of my bed. Wow, I didn’t realize just how much of my room he can see. I can even make out my snow globes on the dresser against the far wall. I find myself explicitly reminding myself to close the blinds when I’m changing next time. I spin around fast before I over process the fact that Jared has probably caught me doing something embarrassing within the past few years with his front row seat. It’s the blue that catches my eye first; I think it’s because it stands out against the muted colors of his room. Walking up to it almost in disbelief, I pull the card out from the corner of the mirror attached to his dresser. Holding it in my hands, I know this card. I know it was the card I gave him when his parents died. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I searched the Hallmark section of the pharmacy for what seemed like hours because I couldn’t find a card that said what I wanted to say. In the end, I picked one that was blank on the inside. The front reads, In Deepest Sympathy.
Opening the inside, I recognize my signature first. This is definitely my card. He kept it all these years.
Jare –
Words cannot express how sorry I am that this had to happen to you of all people. Sometimes I feel as though it was my own parents and I wake up screaming. Your mom will no longer be around to scold us for trampling her daisies or make us sell lemonade until our hands smell like lemons for a week in order to pay back the damage we caused that time we put bologna on Fred’s mom’s car.
The only solace I find is in the fact that it happened to the strongest person I know. I don’t think I could handle something like this. I think God knew that if it had to happen to someone, that you could handle it. I don’t want you to ever give up, Jared. I know it’s going to be hard, I know some days you aren’t going to be able to get out of bed, but you have to remember you’re stronger than this, and everything they did was to make you grow up to be a better person. So, you be that better person. Don’t ever give into depression or defeat. If you ever need anything, I’m only a few steps away.
--Apey
I’m still staring at the card, my mind blank with shock. I vaguely hear the water turn off and a few seconds later, I hear footsteps.
“April? April?!”
“I’m in here,” I mutter, still awestruck at the card between my hands.
He walks into the roo
m and stops short in the doorway.
“Why didn’t you tell me you got my card?” I ask him. never lifting my eyes from my own words.
“I just wanted to be by myself. I didn’t want anyone to see me like that…” he tells me. He tries to change the subject. “I don’t think you should be on your feet.”
Picking me up from under my arms in one swift motion, he gently places me on the corner of his bed.
“But I wanted to be there for you,” I whisper, almost hurt, offended that he wouldn’t let me. Seeing the card again is stirring up old feelings.
“And you were...” he states, pointing to the card.
“No, like, I wanted to help you. Your teachers, your friends, everyone tried to be there for you, but you shut us out…”
“I had a lot to figure out. I had a lotta shit to deal with. I needed to make a bunch of decisions right then and there…”
“I know. That’s why I wanted to talk to you, but you never opened the door.”
He pauses, processing his next words carefully. “I needed to do things on my own, but that card— your words were the only thing that kept me from giving up, April. I had a million things to figure out and taking over the business with no training, no idea what the hell I was doing. I had a lot to decide and learn … but nothing I went through compares to this…”
At the sound of that I look up. “Compares to what?”
“The indecision I feel with you.”
Discovering April Page 12