by S. Tamanaha
“I’d do it again,” she said, and he knew that she meant it.
Susan’s handling of the case gained her Isabel’s eternal respect and gratitude and made her a minor celebrity in her own right among Isabel’s group.
“You should have seen her,” Isabel said one evening at one of those cocktail parties that she and Johnny were compelled to attend. “This sweet petite thing walked in and just kicked his butt. Without raising her voice, without pounding a table. It was truly fascinating. My attorney was so impressed that he actually wants to talk to you about a job darling. Why don’t you get licensed again here in California and get back into practicing law. You’re damn good at it.”
Susan smiled. “Practicing law—practicing it well anyway—consumes your life,” she said. “I think it would take too much away from the life that Johnny and I have.”
Isabel smiled and then looked at Johnny. “I hope you know how lucky you are, John darling,” she said.
He smiled and kissed Susan’s hand tenderly. “I do,” he said.
They all saw both Susan and Johnny in a different light now. She was no longer just Johnny’s wife and she certainly wasn’t just some woman interested in living off of his celebrity status or his money. She was a smart, competent, and talented woman who could clearly have made her way without him but chose to put her love for him above all else. And he, America’s sex symbol, who had thousands of adoring women fans, only had eyes for one. For those who had been seeking but who had failed to find true love their entire life, the love between these two Scorpions was truly enviable.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Damien had decided to throw his birthday party at a friend’s penthouse suite in downtown L.A. When Susan and Johnny arrived at the party, it was already in full swing. Damien was absolutely thrilled to see them.
“Johnny brought you the present you asked for,” Susan said as she kissed him hello.
“Really!” Damien exclaimed. “Let’s see!”
Johnny handed him the large decoratively wrapped package that he was carrying. Damien unwrapped it immediately.
“My God, I think this is the best one you’ve done so far,” he said, admiring the head to chest photo of Johnny, shirtless and wearing only a denim vest, which Susan had placed into an attractive, sleek frame. “Thank you so much. Come. I want to introduce you to everyone and show this off.”
Johnny held on to Susan’s hand as Damien led the way through the crowd, introducing them to everyone. She recognized the look in the eyes of some of the men as they looked at Johnny. It was the same adoring look that she usually saw in the eyes of women. Damien eventually led them over to a group seated at a table.
“Everyone, this is Susan and, of course, John Hellstrom. Look at what he brought me—his latest poster and signed too. Isn’t that just the best yet?”
Many of them oohed and aahed over the photo. “Oh my God, I want one too,” she heard someone say.
Damien proceeded to introduce everyone in the vicinity, including a gentleman by the name of Samuel Taylor. “Sammy here is actually working on a movie that’s going to be based in New Jersey. Isn’t that where you’re from?”
“Yes I am. Englewood,” Johnny responded in that beautiful rich voice.
Susan actually thought she heard someone sigh.
“Well, he’s looking for a New Jersey native to sort of consult with about the area, the people, finding places to shoot. Perhaps you’d be interested.”
“I would love to have him on board, but I don’t think that we could afford him,” Sammy said.
“Well, perhaps he’d consider less compensation in exchange for film credit as a producer or something,” Damien said off-handedly as he continued to admire his present.
That peaked Johnny’s interest and he felt Susan give his hand a squeeze.
“I might be,” he said, “but I’m still filming at the moment. I don’t think I’ll be able to be in New Jersey any time soon.”
“Well, you wouldn’t have to be. I’m just looking for someone to make the initial contact with the appropriate people in order to secure access to potential film locations, perhaps meet with some of the locals to make a few arrangements, that sort of thing. You’d be sort of the advance person for the locations manager and you could do it mostly by phone or email. Someone with your name who’s also a native might find it easier to get his foot in the door than one of us. You’d maybe have to fly there once or twice at the most.”
“In that case, we might be able to work something out. I’d need to know more about what kind of movie this is.”
“I can send you all of the information,” Sammy pulled out a business card. “Here, email me at that address and I’ll send you everything to look over. It would be great to have you on board with this.”
Johnny nodded and placed the card into his wallet. He was a good sport the rest of the evening as Damien showed him off to everyone. He even relaxed enough to let go of her hand. She went to get a soda at the bar and sat, just observing and smiling.
“You’re that gorgeous man’s wife, aren’t you?”
She turned and found herself facing a nice looking gentleman who appeared to be in his forties with brown hair, neatly styled, and greenish-brown eyes that looked at her from behind a pair of stylish wire-rimmed glasses. He was dressed casually in a loose button-down shirt, jeans, and loafers.
“I am. Susan.” She offered her hand and he shook it.
“Richard. He must get attention like this wherever he goes from both sexes.”
“Pretty much.”
“Don’t know how you do it. It would drive me insane if everyone wanted the person that I was with.”
She smiled. “Sometimes it’s hard, but I keep telling myself that it comes with the business. And he always comes home to me. Are you with someone special tonight?”
“That idiot who’s running around showing everyone your husband’s picture,” he replied, referring, of course, to Damien.
She smiled gently. “Don’t worry. Damien’s like a teenager who has a crush on a movie star, that’s all. It’s harmless. Have you been going together very long?”
“A couple of years,” Richard said. “Maybe he’s too young for me. I mean look at him. He acts like a child.”
“You want more of a commitment?” she ventured.
He sighed. “I’m getting up there, you know. Parties like this were fun once but yes, I’d kind of like to settle down a little.”
“Have you asked him?”
“Look at him. Does he act like someone who wants to settle down?”
“I can’t say for sure,” she said. “But I know that sometimes the way people act and what they feel inside are two different things. I’ll tell you a secret. When I fell in love with Johnny, I never let him know it. I just treated him like a friend because I never believed that a man like him could love a woman like me. I’d still be pretending that we were just friends if he hadn’t taken the first step. Surprisingly, in spite of his great looks and all the adoring women that were available, he was looking for someone with whom he could have a real relationship and he did want me. He’s the perfect example of why one should never judge a book by its cover. Most people think that with his looks, he’d be conceited or a womanizer but underneath, he’s quite the opposite. So, you’ll never know unless you ask. And even if the answer isn’t what you want, at least you’ll know.”
Richard smiled. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time for me to know one way or another. You’re a wise woman and I’m glad I met you. It’s refreshing to be able to actually talk to someone at one of these things.”
Johnny, who had been keeping an eye on Susan, excused himself politely from his band of admiring fans and walked over to where she and Richard were sitting.
“Hi,” she said. “How’s your hand? I saw you signing at least a dozen autographs.”
Johnny smiled. “That’s why I had to break away. My hand needs a rest.”
“Richard, this is Johnny. Johnny, this
is Richard, Damien’s significant other. I’m sorry. I don’t know your last name.”
“Ashley,” he said, shaking Johnny’s hand.
“Richard Ashley?” Johnny seemed a little surprised. “There’s a producer by that name.”
“One and the same, I’m afraid,” Richard said, smiling. “You have a very interesting wife. I’ve enjoyed talking to her very much. If I hadn’t, I might have made the mistake of judging the book by its cover. Well, it’s time to get the birthday boy’s cake and let him open all of his presents. Susan, it’s been a pleasure and I’m glad that we had our little talk. Johnny, it was a pleasure as well. Thank you for making Damien so happy tonight.”
“Don’t mention it. It was nice meeting you.”
Richard left then, disappearing into the kitchen.
“He’s a producer?” Susan asked.
“One of the better ones from what I hear,” Johnny said. “He’s not a huge name but he’s got a good reputation. I’ve never seen him in person before. What did he mean by ‘judging a book by its cover’?”
“He was talking about you,” she said. “I’ll explain later.”
They stayed until Damien cut the cake and opened his presents and then Johnny made his apologies, saying that he had a photo shoot in the morning and had to get some rest.
“So what did he mean about judging a book by its cover?” Johnny asked as they drove home.
“When he sat down with me, he was very jealous of you and the fact that Damien was so infatuated with you. It seems he wants to have a more settled and serious relationship and he doesn’t think that Damien wants to because of how he acts. I just told him that sometimes how a person appears on the outside isn’t how they are on the inside—that many people look at you and judge you by what they see when the person inside is someone completely different.”
Johnny squeezed her hand. “When am I going to ever learn?”
“Learn what?”
“To trust your instincts. If we didn’t go to that party, this producer opportunity in New Jersey wouldn’t have happened. And I would never have met Richard Ashley. Who would have known that he was Damien’s significant other?”
“Well, believe it or not, I didn’t have any instincts about that party. I just wanted to do a favor for Damien. He’s a nice guy. I hope that he and Richard work out together. Richard seems nice too. And when you do get all the information about that producing opportunity, please make sure that everything’s in writing and that you won’t be liable for anything.”
“Always thinking.”
“Always, when it comes to you.”
“Well, according to Isabel, I have the best attorney in California right here.”
“No, you need an entertainment lawyer and when it comes to this, please don’t scrimp. Find the best.”
“Are you implying that I’m cheap?”
“Aren’t you?” she asked and he laughed.
Later, at home, after she had taken Angel out to the backyard for her last outing, played with her a while, and given her a little treat to settle her down, she joined Johnny on the bed. He seemed lost in thought.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
“What you said to Isabel and her group at that cocktail party the other night, about how practicing law would take away from the life that you and I have. Do you want to practice again? Am I stopping you?”
“Of course not,” she said. “Was I practicing when you met me?”
“No, but when I saw how you were in that meeting ... it seems that you’re a natural at it. And you said that you only intended to take a couple of years off to begin with, as though you were intending to return.”
“I did intend to return and then found that I liked myself and my life better when I wasn’t a lawyer. You know me. I wouldn’t be able to look at it as just a job. I’d be wrestling with emotional issues. I don’t want to foreclose on someone if it means putting them out on the street or defend someone that my heart says is guilty. That’s why I can’t be what most lawyers would consider a good lawyer. I can’t separate myself from the effects of what I do on the basis that it’s just my job. With the contract from Penguin and the settlement funds, I’ve been given a chance to do what I want to do now—write. I don’t know if I can make an actual living from it, but I feel good doing it. And it allows me the freedom to do the thing that I want the most.”
“What’s that?”
“To always be there for you when you need me. I don’t ever want to have to push you aside or put you off because I have a trial or a meeting with a client or whatever. I don’t ever want to be too busy for you.”
“There are a lot of times when I’m too busy,” he said quietly, “or too tired. I mean, ten hours, sometimes longer, working on the set, meetings, interviews, photo shoots, exercising, classes ... don’t you feel that I’m neglecting you sometimes? Don’t you mind?”
“Of course I miss you, but that’s the nature of your job right now so I understand,” she said, and then she frowned. “Why are you asking me that as though you’re expecting to hear me complain? Was lack of time an issue with you and someone else before?”
Johnny sighed. “Yeah, but I never really cared before. I mean, I always had the attitude that my work, my ambitions came first. But with you, I do care. I don’t want you feeling neglected or as though you’re second place in my life because that’s not how it is.”
“Johnny, when I started practicing law, I worked twelve hours a day during the week and eight hours a day on weekends. I understand how it is, especially when someone is still relatively new in a profession. If you were spending all that time drinking in some bar with your friends, that’s another story. But working—how can I fault you for that? If both of us had schedules like that, though, it would become a problem. When you had time, I wouldn’t be free and when I had time, you wouldn’t be available. This way, the way it is now, I can be here for you when you need me.”
“I always need you,” he said, “not just when my schedule allows it. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know Johnny. That isn’t what I meant.”
“You don’t feel that this is a one-sided arrangement? I mean, you’re smart, talented, and God knows, people like you. Don’t you feel sometimes that you should be doing more than just helping me and working around my schedule?”
“You make it sound as though all I do all day is sit around here waiting for you to come home. I’m still working and writing and making my own money. I haven’t touched any of the money that you’ve put into that other account.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I know that you’re still working. And that’s another thing. Why haven’t you ever used that money?”
“I never wanted you to feel that you had to take care of me financially.”
“I’m your husband. I want to take care of you.”
“Well, maybe it’s just me. I’ve worked since I was fourteen years old. I’ve always made my own way.” She frowned. “I’m getting confused. First you sound as though you think I’m not doing enough with my life and now you sound like you’re saying that I shouldn’t do anything and just let you support me.”
“I’m not saying either of those things,” he said, frustrated because he couldn’t get his point across. “I know that you’re working but I also know that, if you wanted to, you could do much more and I don’t want to be the one who’s standing in your way, that’s all. You’ve already given up so much for me and done so much for me. And when I want to do something for you, like setting up that account, you won’t let me. I guess I’m the one who’s feeling as though this relationship is one-sided and not fair to you.”
She finally understood. “Johnny, you’re not standing in the way of anything. I’ve already done a lot of things that I wanted to do—I became an attorney, I built a successful program out of nothing, I built my sanctuary. They were accomplishments and I feel good about them, but nothing I’ve ever done has made me feel better than how I feel wh
en I’m helping you and loving you. I choose to be here for you. And as for that account, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to feel that way—as though I was rejecting your help. It’s just that I’ve been on my own for so long, it’s hard for me to accept money from someone else for everyday expenses. I just looked at that account as an emergency fund, like a savings, and that’s given me a big feeling of security. I’ve never had that before because almost everything I earned went into keeping up my house.”
She stroked his hair gently. “Maybe we can’t spend a whole lot of time together right now, but what’s more important to me is what you do for me every day. You make me happy. You share your feelings and what’s happening in your life with me, you don’t shut me out and act as though I wouldn’t understand your work, you make me feel as though I’m important in your life and that my opinions and feelings matter, you take time to call me from the studio to let me know that you’re thinking of me, and you treat me with consideration, like when you take Angel and me riding to see the ocean because you know that I miss it. And, most importantly, you do all of those things without me having to ask you. Those are the things that you give to me that really matter to me, that show me that you love me and that make me love you more and more every day. If you didn’t do those things or if you only did them because I asked you to, no amount of money that you gave me or actual hours that you spent with me would matter.”
He reached out and caressed her face and looked into her dark and beautiful Scorpio eyes. “You mean that don’t you?”
“Yes,” she said, “I do. That’s what I meant when I said that you do everything else right. Are you sure it’s not you, Johnny? Maybe you’d prefer someone who wasn’t always around; someone whose schedule gave you some time alone here. Because I’d understand if that’s how you feel—”
He stopped her with a kiss, deep and loving. “That’s not how I feel. The best part of my day is coming home to you.”
She caressed his face gently then and looked into his eyes. “I’m happy, Johnny,” she said softly, answering the unspoken question that she saw in those eyes. “I don’t have any regrets. To always be there for you, to always have time for you, that’s what’s important to me.”