Return to Love (Willow Valley Book 1)

by Christine Kingsley

  "Well?" she asked expectantly. She already had a cupcake boxed and ready to go.

  "Nothing. I'm afraid I pushed her away."

  "Don't give up. She likes you." She gave him a look of encouragement.

  He smiled at her sweet idea of romance. "What makes you think so?"

  "I've not seen her act so out of sorts. Ever. It's crazy. She likes you, I'm sure of it."

  He thought for a moment, rubbing his jaw, and saw a receipt someone had left lying on the counter. He flipped it over and grabbed a pen.

  Come out to the ranch on Sunday to ride. Just friends, no pressure. You know you want to. -J

  "Make sure she gets that," he instructed Emily and went back to his truck, cupcake in hand.

  * * *

  Cassie took a minute to compose herself before going in to pick up Sarah. She didn't know what to think. One minute, she thought Jack was about to kiss her, and the next, he walked away without a backward glance and didn't come by for four days after having been in to see her every day for a week. Now he was holding her tightly and asking her out? Hot and cold.

  Meanwhile, she was steadily getting nearer to boiling.

  Her physical reaction to him was astonishing. She had never been so responsive to a man before. She still felt warm where he had held her gently but firmly around the wrist, and could almost feel where his hard stomach had pressed against her. Her heart was racing. He had said he didn't want anyone else. What did that mean? That he wanted her, of that much she was sure. But why? Oh, this complicated things even more. It was one thing for her to be attracted to him, and even to care for him on some level that may or may not be slightly beyond friendship. But for him to want her put this at a whole new level. She was doing a terrible job at keeping her distance. And it was all she could do to keep from running after him and tell him that of course she wanted to go to dinner with him.

  Pull yourself together, girlfriend. Spending one on one time with Jack was like dancing with the devil himself. She might as well wave a flag and announce through a bullhorn that Sarah was his long-lost daughter.

  It didn't make it any easier that he was so good with Sarah, too. Cassie tried to wipe the memory of them on the horse from her mind and buried her head in her hands. This secret was demanding more of her than she had ever expected. She'd never wanted to agree to it in the first place. If not for her mother begging her to do anything and everything necessary to protect Amanda, she never would have kept something so momentous from Jack. It wasn't fair to him, and she knew it.

  Now it was going to cost her the one man that no one else had ever been able to hold a candle to.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Just friends, no pressure.

  Cassie rolled the words from Jack's note around in her head as she contemplated what to wear to his ranch. She figured she was losing her mind. After all this fighting against her own feelings toward him, here she was getting ready to spend an entire afternoon alone with him. She tried to convince herself that she just wanted to ride again. It had been so long, after all. An afternoon in the saddle was just what she needed to relax after a stressful week, especially after the difficult visit she'd had with her mother the afternoon before. But who was she kidding? Deep down she knew that she wanted to see Jack just as much as she wanted to ride.

  And that scared the daylights out of her.

  With a grunt of frustration, she slammed her closet door and went across the hall to check on Sarah. She was still napping soundly. Cassie stood there for a moment, staring at her beautiful daughter.

  She truly was breathtaking. A perfect blend of genetics. It pleased her that Sarah did resemble her, that some small part of their blood relation came through. She and Amanda had always looked a lot alike as kids. But it was Jack's piercing blue eyes that really made her shine. She was a fool to think that people wouldn't notice as Sarah got older. Especially with Jack back in town. She heaved a big sigh. It would be so much easier to just come clean. She feared the fallout that seemed inevitable.

  Which was even more reason not to get any more involved with Jack than she already was. Stupid girl, she chastised herself.

  The sound of the back door creaking open brought her out of her thoughts. Emily was here. She went into the kitchen to let her know to be quiet because of Sarah.

  Emily stopped in her tracks, looking her up and down with a look of disdain. "What are you wearing? Please don't tell me you plan on wearing that on your date."

  Cassie laughed. "First of all, it's not a date. And no, I'm not, I just don't have a clue what to wear."

  "Uh huh. If it's not a date, then why are you so worried about your clothing choice?" Emily's eyes sparkled with mischief.

  "Hush, child," Cassie said, swatting her playfully on the arm. "Just help me."

  They went back into Cassie's room, and in no time Emily had chosen the perfect outfit. Cassie stared dubiously at the low-cut white tank and form-fitting jeans. "There is no way I'm wearing this. I'm not advertising my womanly wares."

  Emily lifted a brow at her choice of words but didn't say a word, turning back to the closet with her lips pursed. She plucked a purple and blue plaid shirt from its hanger. "Here. Roll the sleeves up and tie it at the waist, but be sure to leave it unbuttoned. More subtle, but still sexy." She giggled.

  "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." But she took the shirt from Emily's outstretched hand and knew she'd wear it. A pair of boots completed the look perfectly. She took the clothing into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later with her hair plaited loosely down the side. She was being ridiculous, putting so much effort into her appearance just to ride a horse.

  Emily clapped in glee. "Perfect. Now get out of here before Sarah wakes up and wants to tag along," she said, practically pushing her out the door.

  The ride to the ranch went by too quickly, and Cassie was a bundle of nerves when she climbed out of her car. Her pulse sped up as she saw Jack leaning casually against a post on the front porch, arms crossed. His face was shadowed by his cowboy hat so she couldn't read his expression from where she stood. Did he notice that she'd taken such care in choosing her outfit and arranging her hair? Did he like what he saw? She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself, knowing she was being silly. This is not a date. Not a date. That would be her mantra. Her treacherous body would just have to listen to her more reasonable mind.

  She strode purposefully toward Jack, putting on an air of confidence she didn't feel. "Hey, cowboy, you ready to ride?"

  He straightened and grinned, pushing himself off the post. "You bet. Glad you decided to come after all, friend."

  She mentally rolled her eyes at the word. There was no way that was what they were, and he knew it as well as she, but she was grateful that he seemed to be backing off. She wasn't strong enough to resist him forever.

  He headed around the house toward the stable, and she fell into step beside him. "Nice day," she said. Idiot. She was talking about the weather?

  He gave her a sideways glance. "Yep."

  Well this was awkward. Surely they had something better to talk about than the weather. They stayed silent until they got to the stable. Jack appeared deep in thought.

  "I thought we'd saddle up Storm and Midnight. You up for it?"

  A grin lit up her face. "Absolutely." She'd been afraid he'd stick her with an easy horse after her time out of the saddle. Not Jack. He knew her well. She always loved a challenge, and those two were some of the best stallions on the ranch.

  "Atta girl," he said. He slowly looked her up and down and her face heated. "Well, you look the part, in any case. Let's see if you can pass muster."

  They went to work preparing the horses for the ride and fell into an easy conversation about how the horses were and what Jack had been doing around the ranch. She had really missed this. She used to ride several times a week and felt truly at home on horseback. She should have made more time for riding, but life had gotten in the way. When they were ready to go, they led the hor
ses outside and Cassie swung her leg up and over Midnight, not missing a beat.

  "You're a natural, Cass. Just go easy--"

  "On the reigns. I remember. I'm not a newbie, even it has been a bit." She gave him an amused smile.

  He smiled back at her and mounted Storm in one agile movement, then they walked their horses around outside the stable, warming them up. "Trail or open pasture?"

  "Why not both?" She gestured that he lead the way, and followed behind, trying and failing to keep her eyes off the way his body rocked with the gait of the horse.

  "Okay, friend. Here we go."

  She sighed at the word. Their circumstances made her heart ache. She sure would have loved to not be his friend at this particular moment. Then maybe she wouldn't be fighting so hard to resist him.

  * * *

  Jack turned onto a trail that led through the back reaches of the ranch. No matter how well Cassie seemed to be doing, he wanted to make sure she was truly at home on the back of a horse before they let loose in open pastures. He thought about his new word for her. Friend. Ha! It was all he could do to maintain that thin barrier. Especially after seeing her in that get-up. What was she thinking wearing clothes that tight? Was she trying to torture him?

  Once they got to the wide trail, he slowed so she could bring her horse up beside him, and they made their way leisurely down the path. Okay, make friendly conversation. That was the goal. He'd be damned if he ran her off again so soon after she made the effort to come out when he obviously made her uncomfortable.

  "So, tell me about how you fell in to running a bakery." He could tell by the sudden light in her eyes that he'd hit on a topic she truly loved.

  "Well, surely you remember all the desserts I used to come up with? It's something I've always enjoyed," she began.

  "Are we talking mud pies? I remember those all too well." He grimaced at the memory of being tricked into eating dirt when they'd been in grade school.

  Cassie threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh. "I'd almost forgotten that. You were so gullible." Her eyes were twinkling as she watched his reaction.

  "No, just a sucker for a pretty face. Always have been."

  "Amanda always could get you to do whatever she wanted, even back then." She laughed, shaking her head, but her smile faded when she realized what she'd said. He didn't think she'd meant to bring up her sister. Jack wanted to know what had happened between them but didn't want to upset her by pressing too hard. She cleared her throat and shook her head slightly and went on of her own accord, staring off into the distance as they rode. "I was referring to my more edible concoctions in high school. Anyway, after graduating, you two were gone off to college and I thought I wanted to go to culinary school, but we didn't have the money. They don't offer scholarships based on grades, unfortunately. So I got a job to save up and kept at it for a couple years. Just when I was getting ready to apply," she paused and swallowed, seeming to think about her words. "That's when Mom started getting sick, and I knew I couldn't leave her. It wasn't even an option. So I took the money I had saved and spent half to get her set up at the facility and used the other half to start the bakery. It's done well enough to support us and I still get to do what I love." She looked at him then and offered him a small smile, but he could see in her eyes that it wasn't the dream she had thought she would live out.

  "I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you'd hoped." They weren't just words, either. He'd always wished nothing but the best for her.

  "No, really, it worked out fine. If I'd had some fancy culinary degree, I wouldn't have been able to use it here in Willow Valley. And one thing I've learned is that this town is where my heart is, as well as my home. I couldn't go to the city or anywhere else just to work in a high-fa-luting restaurant. Mom needs me, and I've got Sarah now. I couldn't be happier."

  She turned her head then, giving herself away. He believed that she was happy here. He knew exactly what she meant about this town being home. But there was something she wasn't saying, something that was missing in her life, but he didn't dare mention it. Had she had anyone significant in her life, and things hadn't worked out? One thing was certain, if he wanted to know about any men in her life or more information about Sarah, he'd have to ask elsewhere. Asking her was a surefire way to bring up the defenses, and he was loving this candid conversation.

  They talked for a while longer about the bakery, then she asked him about his adventures out in the world. It was so easy to talk to her when she was like this. Like herself.

  They came up to a stream and stopped to water the horses, then tethered them up while they stretched and took a little break. He handed her a bottle of water he'd packed and she drank thirstily. He stared at the curve of her neck as her head tilted back. It looked so soft and inviting. She caught his eye, and he averted his gaze. This was harder than he'd thought.

  She sat down under a shade tree and leaned back, then offered the bottle to him. He took it as he joined her on the grass.

  "I'm surprised you haven't asked about Amanda." Her words startled him. "I mean about Amanda and me," she clarified.

  "My dad mentioned something the other day but said he didn't know any specifics. Just that she'd left you, too, and that it had been a couple years since you'd seen her."

  "Or heard from her. Honestly, I don't know that I expect to ever hear from her again."

  "That bad, huh?"

  "Believe it or not, it wasn't. I mean there wasn't some major knock-down-drag-out or anything. I knew how irresponsible she was and by that time it really didn't come as much of a shock. She wasn't interested in helping with Mom, and she wanted me to... Well, she wanted me to shoulder all her responsibilities and pick up her tab while doing so. I told her what I thought and she left. I really think I don't care if I never see her again."

  "What exactly happened, if you don't mind my asking?"

  "She came home not long after you two had broken up." She glanced at him apologetically, but he waved away her concern. It was unfounded now. "I really let into her about throwing away her dance scholarship and just running off without a word to the family. By that point, Mom was getting worse and I knew then that I was going to have to spend my savings on her instead of school, so Amanda throwing away her free education really hit home with me. Then asking for money on top of it?" Cassie laughed bitterly.

  He shook his head. "Typical." It had taken him a while to realize it, but Amanda thought only of herself. Cassie had always been the one with a good head on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't speak ill of your sister."

  "No, Jack, you have just as much of a right as I do. What she did to you was absolutely terrible."

  "I guess, but she just broke up with me, ran off with someone. It's not like I was family." Cassie looked down quickly and he missed the expression that had crossed her face. When she looked up and continued, whatever had been there was gone.

  "So, I let her have it. All the frustration from years of covering for her and taking responsibility for her carelessness just came pouring out. The next morning she was gone. She showed up a few months later to..." She paused. "Take care of some things, but left right after, and that was it."

  "I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your sister then have your mother start slipping away from you."

  She looked up at him, her face flooding with warmth and kindness. "Thank you, Jack. But I really am okay with it. It's been peaceful these last couple years. We are sisters, but it's hard for me to feel anything toward her after the way she's treated her own family. I can't pretend to understand it."

  "Neither can I. I was devastated when she left school, but now...I know it was for the best. We weren't meant to be. I was drawn to her free spirit and wanted to explore the world with her, but that's not something that can last forever. I always knew that I wanted to come home eventually and settle down, raise a family. I figured she would grow out of it. I couldn't have been wrong. I think the appeal was on the surface."

>   It was awkward talking to Cassie about his past love when he was feeling so many things for her currently. Especially when Cassie had borne witness to it firsthand. He looked over to see if she felt uncomfortable, but all he saw was softness in her eyes.

  "I get it, Jack. You don't have to try to explain. I think I may know you better than she ever did. Just because you fell for her doesn't mean you're guilty of the same flaws. You're a great man." She placed her hand on his knee and squeezed lightly.

  His throat tightened at her touch. He wanted to press her for more. If she was so certain he was so great, then why was she always running scared from him? He knew he couldn't ask, though. What she'd given him today, opening up like she had, was more than he'd expected. He jumped up before he gave in to the desire to pull her against him and prove that he was worth a chance.

  "Let's go. I want to see if you've still got it out there in the open field."

  She looked relieved at the sudden change in mood, and jumped up, laughing. "Do you really doubt it?"

  He didn't. He was just ready to leave Amanda in the past and enjoy the rest of this afternoon with the woman he was with.

  She proved him right that she still had it. The minute they hit the pasture she brought Midnight to a trot and looked at him slyly. "Race you?" Without waiting for an answer, she spurred her horse into a gallop.

  He grinned and, following her lead, kicked his heels into Storm's sides and off they both went, flying across the field. Her hair came undone from her loose braid and it was flowing free behind her as she pulled further ahead of him. She glanced back at him once, laughing, and he knew he was a goner. All his plans to be her friend went out the window at that moment. If it was the last thing he did, this woman would be his.