Three? she mouthed. He nodded and she shuddered.
“Mrs. Mendelson, John Rochard, and the waiter,” Holt said.
“If Sara’s there,” Damian said, “you might save some time by putting me on speaker phone.”
He pressed the button so Sara could hear Damian too. “We’re listening. Go ahead.”
“How do we know Mrs. Mendelson was one of Toxin’s victims?” Sara asked.
“Toxin left his calling card.” Holt recalled the horror of finding Mrs. Mendelson’s body. Though still melancholy, Roscoe’s shock seemed to have diminished somewhat, and the dog was currently settled on the cozy rug at Holt’s feet.
“But why Mrs. Mendelson?”
He had a feeling Sara was going to take this next bit of information hard, so he reached out and took her hand. “Remember when we were in the kitchen?”
“Yes.” Her tone was questioning. Suddenly, shock widened her eyes. “Toxin was watching us?” He saw the exact moment when she realized what he’d probably seen. Her skin paled.
“Probably from the back fence.”
“But if he wanted you and me together, why get angry? Why kill Mrs. Mendelson?”
“Either he didn’t like what he saw, or he changed his mind.” Something had made him angry enough to deviate from his normal methods and kill a woman with his bare hands.
“Noah’s been apprised of the situation,” Damian informed them. “He’ll take over processing the scene at the Mendelson home and interview neighbors, then meet us at SSAM later today.”
“I’ll drop Sara and Theo off at the school in a few hours and be at SSAM in time for the meeting with an updated version of Toxin’s profile.”
“Get some rest until Noah gets there. It’s going to be a long day.”
Holt hung up the phone and reached for Sara, who immediately folded herself against his side. She was shaking and he held her tighter.
“I don’t know how you do it.”
With a finger, he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “Do what?”
“Deal with violent, sadistic killing on a regular basis.”
“It doesn’t always hit this close to home.” He looked away, dropping his hand. “Just recently. And any kind of death is hard.”
“Elizabeth,” Sara said, empathizing with the complexity of his emotions. “It must be tough, all of this loss.”
“No tougher than when you lost your parents.”
“It’s different.”
Yeah, she hadn’t had a little boy to console. Then again, she’d been Theo’s rock this past year. “Still difficult.”
“I wish I could help.” Her earnestness had him pulling away. He couldn’t put her through any more, especially not tonight.
“You can help by getting some rest. Theo’s going to need both of us when he learns about Mrs. Mendelson.”
“What are you going to do about Roscoe?”
The dog’s head lifted off the carpet at the mention of his name and sent a sad gaze their way. Reassured that they were still with him, he sank back down again. Holt couldn’t leave the dog by himself all day. “I don’t know.”
“Did Mrs. Mendelson have any relatives who would take him in?”
“No.” She’d been a lonely woman. And Roscoe had been great company for her. He deserved a devoted, loving family.
She curled her feet under her on the bed. “Bring him with us.”
“What?”
“I’ll keep him at the school until we can find him a home.”
Her generous heart continued to surprise him. His chest swelled with some unnamed emotion he was afraid to examine. It was too much like love.
* * *
Holt’s phone vibrated against his hip, waking him from a light doze to a foreign feeling. Contentment. He should have been exhausted, but the short rest, combined with his eagerness to get back to the crime scene and find justice for Mrs. Mendelson, had him alert in no time. Noah’s text indicated he’d gained clearance to have Holt at the scene. He slipped his arm out from under Sara’s neck and resettled her on the pillow. She moaned lightly but curled into her pillow without waking. Again he left his gun for her on the bedside table.
Locking the house behind him, he crossed the dark yard to the neighboring home. He moved past an officer in uniform and found Noah, the coroner, and a detective from the Evanston Police Department standing near the body.
“You discovered the body?” Noah asked.
“I heard her dog barking and came over. The door was unlocked.”
“Coroner says the blows to the head likely killed her. Not his usual MO. What do you make of that?”
Holt knew exactly what to make of it. “He was angry. He probably hadn’t planned to commit another murder tonight. He may even have been impulsive enough to leave fingerprints.”
“The crime techs will be here any minute to dust for prints. What made him so angry that he killed your neighbor? Why not you, or Sara?”
“Mrs. Mendelson was easy pickings. I think he has other plans for me. In fact, he probably knew this—knowing I was responsible for someone dying—would hurt me more than quickly ending my life.” Just as Sara felt after Rochard’s death.
“But what drove Toxin over the edge?”
“Dissatisfaction with how things went between me and Sara tonight.”
“I thought you did what he wanted.”
Remembering the feel of Sara’s hips beneath his fingertips, and her mouth beneath his, Holt knew without a doubt what had driven the man into a rage. Raw jealousy. “I don’t think he knew what he wanted. Not until he saw it, just out of reach.”
* * *
Holt found Sara in his bathroom, packing up her toiletry bag.
“Hope you don’t mind me using your shower.” She caught his eye in the mirror and a furrow formed on her forehead. “Are you okay?”
Her hair was still wet from a shower, her skin pink, but she was dressed and looking refreshed despite only a few hours of sleep. “I’ll be okay. I just want to get you back under Becca’s watch so I can hunt this guy.” And maybe beat him into the ground. Perhaps a couple hours in the SSAM gym was needed to work off some of this adrenaline.
“I’ll be ready to head out in a couple minutes, but if you want to grab a shower first to revive yourself...” She was watching him with concern. He probably looked like hell. “I can make us some coffee.”
“I don’t have much in the way of breakfast food, but there’s still a bit of birthday cake left if you’re hungry.”
“Starved. Especially for chocolate cake.” She padded over on bare feet and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips to his, her warmth seeping into his system. She tasted of the mint from her toothpaste and smelled like his shampoo. The combination made his heart rate skyrocket. “I was hoping you’d have time to rest a little more. Did you bring Roscoe’s food over?”
“No.”
“Do you know what brand Roscoe likes? We can pick some up on the way.”
Talking about mundane, daily necessities after all that had happened, and all that could have happened to her, caused something inside to snap. “No. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t know everything. And I’m sure as hell not perfect.” He let his fear and frustration out in his curt tone. Realizing he was responsible for a sweet, elderly woman’s death was too much to take. Imagining Sara or Theo as next among the victims threatened to send him over the edge.
She pulled away, confusion and hurt reflected in her eyes. “Why don’t you get ready while I let Roscoe out?”
He gathered his shaving materials, thankful for the quiet after Sara left. But the smell of her remained in the steamy air. He couldn’t help feeling he’d missed some vital opportunity. It was just as well. In the short walk from his neighbor’s
house, he’d realized something—he had to break things off with Sara, or at least make it look to Toxin like, despite last night, they weren’t on the greatest of terms. Besides, if he could lure Toxin with a sense of victory, yet keep an eye on Sara from a distance, they might be able to trap the killer.
He let a quick shower wash away his doubts. It had to be done. He’d been through enough pain, losing one woman he loved. He couldn’t go through losing someone else he cared about.
Sara returned as he was shaving and set down a mug of coffee on the counter beside him. Her glance quickly took in his towel-slung hips and the shaving cream that covered his jaw before meeting his eyes. He squelched the stirring of interest her visual caress had evoked. “Roscoe and I are, um, ready to go. Theo called. I hope you don’t mind that I answered, but it came up with his picture on the screen.”
He met Sara’s gaze in the mirror and pulled his armor around himself. He had to do this. He had to make her walk away. “You answered my cell phone?”
“I knew it was Theo and I didn’t want him to worry. I thought it might be better if he heard about Roscoe from me or you...”
He set his razor down on the sink and rounded on her. “You told Theo about Toxin killing Mrs. Mendelson? How irresponsible could you be?”
Involuntarily, she backed away a step, shocked at his anger. Good. She’d be hurt, but she’d be alive. And if Toxin was as close to her on a daily basis as he seemed to be, she needed to be on her toes all the time. The only way to do that was to push her away for good. For real. He could no longer be a distraction.
“Of course I didn’t tell him...not all of it. I told him Roscoe would be with us today. And I told him we’d be in a hurry so you could get to work this morning and catch the bad guys. I was going to let you explain the rest to him. God, you still don’t know me at all.” She spun on her heel and left. He quickly finished shaving, wincing as the blade nicked his jawline. He yanked on clothes, ignoring the tightness in his chest. When he found Sara, she was already leading Roscoe to the front door. Her suitcase sat waiting in the front hallway. She didn’t spare him a look.
Another woman was leaving this home and possibly never coming back. The reality hit Holt like a wrecking ball to the ribcage.
“Time to get back to reality,” she said as she tossed him his coat and slipped into her own. It was still dark as they stepped out and walked to the car. The air had taken on a distinct chill.
* * *
“Hey, Miss Sara.” Theo slid into the backseat. Holt’s parents waved from their doorway. “Hey, Roscoe. We get to hang out together today.” Theo rubbed Roscoe’s neck and the dog turned in a circle once before settling on the seat next to him with a whimpering sigh.
Sara choked down her hurt as Holt got behind the wheel. He hadn’t wanted her to come in to say hello to his parents, asking her to wait in the car instead. The request had followed a silent car ride that had her nerves on edge. With monosyllabic replies, he’d shut down any attempts at conversation until she’d taken the hint and sat quietly.
“Where’s Becca?” she asked.
“She’ll be a few minutes behind us. Dad wanted to talk to her about how he can increase security.”
“She’ll be taking up her post at the school again?” Sara had hoped everything would be over after this weekend, but it looked like they were back to square one—with Toxin and with Holt. He acted as if they’d never made the leap to intimacy. Perhaps he was regretting opening up to her. Her throat clenched.
“Yes. As will I.”
“What?”
“We’re both going to be watching you and Theo. And the rest of the school.”
The thought of having him around, day in and day out, but just out of reach was depressing. What had she done now that made him back away? She replayed the morning in her mind and came up with no answers. “For how long?”
His gaze slid to her briefly before returning to the road. “As long as it takes.”
She looked into the backseat, but Theo had slipped his headphones on and was listening to his iPod, his head bobbing to the music. She turned to Holt. “Why was Toxin so angry? We went to the banquet like he wanted.”
Holt glanced in the rearview mirror. “Apparently it wasn’t enough.” His gaze met hers briefly.
“Or maybe it was too much?” she guessed.
The pulse in his neck jumped. “Don’t try to figure out a killer.”
“No, that’s your job.”
“I made a mistake involving you.” His lips pressed into a thin line.
Understanding dawned. “You think pushing me away will save me.”
His gaze again flicked to the rearview mirror but avoided her. “Let’s drop it, okay?”
The gothic structure of the Academy came into view, framed by her window. She was almost home. Except that brought a whole other range of problems. She’d have to seek out the Rochard boys this morning—if they were even at school—and express her condolences. “What do I say to Neil and Jeremy about John?”
“Whatever you say, they know you care. You got Theo through some tough times after Elizabeth died. In fact, if you could talk to Theo, too, I’d appreciate it. Jeremy is a close friend. What he’s going through might remind Theo of losing his mother. And then there’s Mrs. Mendelson’s death...”
“You’re going to drop this bomb on Theo and then leave? I thought you were sticking around to be added security.”
“I have to run to SSAM for a meeting today, but I’ll be back. Besides, you’ll be here to look out for Theo.”
He was right, of course. No matter what was going on between her and Holt, she wouldn’t let Theo down. Holt, on the other hand, was apparently going to perform another disappearing act.
Chapter Eighteen
Holt glanced at the caller ID as the cell phone on his desk vibrated and lit up.
Sara.
He let the call go. After all, what could he say after days of keeping her at arm’s length?
Sorry I’m such a jackass, but it’s better this way, me keeping my distance. At least for a while.
One side of his mouth lifted. No, she’d have stopped him at sorry.
Then she’d have chewed him out for treating her like a yo-yo. One minute he was enjoying having her in his house and in his bed, and the next he was sitting in the cold in his car outside the school, refusing to talk to her when she spotted him and came over to his window to talk.
He was just as frustrated as she was. His body stirred whether she was yelling her exasperation or trying to coax him inside the school with hot chocolate. And his mind...the past few days in the car had given him way too much time to remember. To imagine what the next time he made love to her would be like. And the time after that. It would take a century to make love to her in all the ways he’d daydreamed about.
Making love? The words shocked Holt. It shouldn’t have. He’d never been the type to have affairs. With Elizabeth, he’d fallen fast, and when she’d gotten pregnant, the end result had been evident. Without Elizabeth...well, she hadn’t expected him to waste his life grieving for her. She’d always been fun-loving, but also practical.
“You need someone to look out for you. Let Sara help.” Elizabeth had stroked the back of his hand where it rested on her blanket. Soft fleece beneath his palm and paper-thin skin on top. He’d turned his hand over to grasp her fragile one. Her over-bright eyes had sought his. “You try to save the world, but who will save you when I’m gone? And if you work yourself to death, who’ll be there for Theo?”
When his body was involved, so were his mind, heart and soul. Sara had captured all the above. Even more shocking was that he was okay with that. No, he was more than okay with loving Sara. He craved her and couldn’t wait to see her again. In fact, the only reason he was at SSAM now, instead of parked in his car in
the Academy’s frigid parking lot watching for a glimpse of her, was because Max had told him to get here, pronto.
Holt frowned at his watch. The guy was supposed to meet him twenty minutes ago. Perhaps he should get back to the school...
Max rushed into his office, his face animated. “Sorry to pull you away from the Academy, but I’ve got a live one.”
“A lead?” Holt felt his heart leap.
“Einstein got a hit on one of the online forums he’s been monitoring. Henry posted a message for Toxin, saying his order was ready and he could pick it up at three today. It’s got to be the same Henry.”
“You tell Noah?”
“Left him a message, but he’s tied up...or tasting more wedding cake samples. Time to pay a visit to Henry?” The grin on Max’s face left little doubt as to what he wanted to do.
Holt ignored his phone as the vibrations started again. Sara. A moment later, a final hiccup-like vibration told him he’d missed another call.
Max tipped his head at him. “You gonna answer that some time in this millennium?”
“If it’s important, she’ll leave a message. Becca’s at the school and would have called us if there was some kind of urgent issue.” Besides, he’d see Sara this afternoon. And then he didn’t intend to leave her side...in fact, he’d been toying with the idea of inviting her to come stay with him and Theo for another weekend, maybe even through Thanksgiving. Toxin was still on the loose, after all. Until then, Becca would be close to her.
Max’s eyebrows rose. “In my considerable experience, ignoring a woman only pisses her off.”
“I’ll make her understand.” Once he understood it all himself. The mixed feelings of exhilaration and loss were confusing as hell. How could he feel loss over his relationship with Sara—something he’d only held in his hands for the blink of an eye?
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