by Tara Brown
I swallowed and tapped my probably-broken finger against the barrel of the gun. Before I chickened out, I fired a third shot. He didn’t cry out that time.
I fought the urge to throw up and glanced at Coop, “Dump his body in the fire.”
He gave me a grim look, “You okay, Evie?”
I shook my head, “Not even close. We’ll keep his gun and phone and steal his car. Fuck his house over, you know…the basics."
He sighed, “Welcome back. How was your week off?”
I nodded, “Good. Got the house ready for the birthday party and shit. That, and the renovations I was about to start so it would sell faster… you know… awesome.”
He laughed bitterly and looked back at my house that was fully engulfed, “Yeah, the renos probably won’t help you sell the house now.”
I started to laugh and collapsed onto the grass and bushes. Coop grabbed the dead guy, tossing his phone at me, and carried his body to the back of the house. He was back fast, helping me up from the ground where I had sat, staring at the bloodstains I had made.
I limped to the car, started it and followed Coop’s car, with Ralph’s face staring back at me from the back window. I could see his little black lips moving. He was, no doubt, driving Coop insane with the constant meowing. He was a terrible car cat.
Coop pulled over and walked back to the car where I parked behind him, “Give me his address.”
I passed him the insurance papers from the dash. He looked them over and nodded, “I called in an anonymous 9-1-1 for your house. Your cat is fucking annoying.” He sighed, tossed the papers back at me, and drove off again.
I followed him, blocking out the details of the night I’d just had. I assumed it was very bad that in my mind, jumping from the roof to the tree was still the worst part. That didn’t say much about my character.
He parked in front of what I assumed was the dead man's house. I could feel the sobering effects of seeing the dead man's house starting to creep around inside of me. The house made him a real man. A man I had taken the life of. A real man, who someone had loved, even if it was just a cat or dog or weird chat group on the internet.
Coop sat there for a second before driving off again. He parked a few blocks away. I parked behind him.
He got out and walked back to my window, “Get in the passenger seat. It’ll just look like he came home with a chick.”
I nodded and climbed out.
He climbed in and turned us around. He parked the car and walked up to the house casually. I followed him inside. The house smelled like Mitch’s room.
“He’s single,” I whispered.
Coop gave me a funny look, putting his finger to his lips and took the stairs. I stayed on the lower floor. There were pictures of him with different athletes. I started to choke up when I saw the pictures of him with a woman a few years older than me. She had curly hair and a big warm smile. I picked up the picture, dropping to my aching knees. I clutched it to me. She was like me. He was like Mitch.
I felt the warmth of Coop come up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me, “You’re sort of proving to be a shitty spy, Evie.”
I laughed and snorted, “He could have been a nice boy. I could have let him live. I mean, besides drugging me, locking me in my attic, and lighting my house on fire, he might have been a nice guy.”
He kissed the side of my head, whispering into my ear, “He lit the house on fire. He drugged you and left you there to die. God knows what he did to you while you were out cold. Had you not shot him, I was coming back for him when I got you safe."
I sobbed harder. “Oh my God, he could have killed my kids. What am I doing? I’m not safe. My kids aren’t safe. My house is burning. Coop, right now my house is burning.”
He hugged harder, “Your kids are safe right now. You’re dead, Evie. You can go back into the world and be a normal mom again.”
I shook my head, “I’m a Key now too. There’s no normal. My kids have to stay safe, Coop. How can I do that?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know. Whatever happens, I’ll help you.” His words were whispered. I held the picture of the mom for a moment longer and then passed it back to him. He wiped it down and continued looking around.
Chapter Two
A jackass and a dildo
I sat in the chair, trying not to fidget. The commander walked in with a shitty look on his face. He barked at Coop, “You wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?”
I straightened my back and waited for him to give me shit, like my house burning was my fault.
Coop tapped his fingers on his boots. He looked relaxed and cool in his t-shirt and jeans, “They used a mini EMP on the house. Only works for the radius you give it. They did it for the quarter acre her house was on. My bugs and recorders were dead instantly, and the smoke alarm and security system. The only reason I got there was the cameras on the house next door. I could see the smoke and the typical sedan.”
The commander’s nostrils flared as he sat in the big chair, “Well, that’s some bullshit. Evie, why would they do that to you?”
I shook my head, “I don’t know, sir. They waited until my kids were gone and struck.”
He drummed his fingers on the desk, “No, they got lucky your kids weren’t there. Where the hell are they?”
I licked my lips, “Disney World with my mom.” We still believed the commander to be compromised.
He knew it was a lie. His eyes twitched when I said the words. He knew. Did he know I knew, though?
He sighed, making the thick nose hairs shudder. The same ones that bothered me ten years ago, and yet, were still somehow in the meeting with us today, living the dream. I almost gagged.
The commander looked confused, “How did you get out of the burning house, Evie? That is the question on my mind.”
I looked down. I couldn’t look at Coop. His amused face would break me. I shook my head, “Climbed out the vent and jumped into a tree.”
He was silent. I looked up. He had a grin crossing his mustached, wrinkled face, “Was it the training? Are you able to go back to full active duty?”
Coop coughed, fighting his laugh. I shot him a look but answered the commander, “Maybe.”
Coop broke, laughing into his thick arm.
My gaze narrowed.
The commander looked equally entertained at the notion.
I sighed, “Fine, it was hard. I barely made it and was about to give up, when he showed up. I haven’t ever had to do something like that.” The words were a bitter pill.
I looked out the window of the office to where Luce was holding up my donut and coffee. I tilted my head towards the office I was using.
“Evie, if you want to come back and be part of the team, then you’re going to have to start getting back in shape.”
I nodded at him, “I intend to, sir.”
He continued drumming his fingers, “Where are you staying right now?”
I swallowed, “A hotel maybe or a friend's. I don’t know. My house burned a couple hours ago.” I didn’t want to tell him that I was staying with Luce.
He chewed the inside of his lip, “I don’t get it. Are you guys holding out information on us? We need to know why you’d be the target of a hit.”
Coop got control of himself and folded his arms across his broad chest, “No, we aren’t. We know jack abut this. We think it’s leftovers from the Burrow. Like whoever the Burrow is, or whatever it is, thinks she knows something. Like James told her shit.”
The commander nodded, "What a fiasco. Well, we think you should go deep cover, hunt whoever and whatever is coming after you, and find out what James knew. Your new identity is being set up. No one is going to have access to it but Jack. We’re moving you to an undisclosed area. You’ll be set up there. Jack, Luce, and Coop will be moved there as well. The four of you will set up shop and start working on this shit. I want that fucking Burrow before it ends up in the hands of the enemy or destroyed.” He pointed a meaty finger at Coop, “I want thi
s taken seriously. Your packages are being created by Jack now. I don’t want to see you again until this is done. Deep cover. That means I don’t hear from you unless I need to, and only Jack contacts us through his channels.” He got up to leave.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to ask if my kids were part of my disguise.
I felt panic building in me. Deep cover. How deep?
He paused in the hall and looked back at me, “No one is doubting your commitment to this country or your abilities or anything. We all know what you went through working with that arms dealer. We all know how committed you are to the CI and your country, Evie. Your father is still considered the greatest asset that ever worked CI, but you’re going back to basic. At least two or three weeks in basic to get some goddamned muscles back on you. Jesus, you look like one of those kids on the shows my kids watch.”
I froze.
Basic.
What did that even mean? Wait…was he calling me skinny? Bless his heart and his nose hairs.
I looked at Coop. The most evil grin crossed his lips and took over his whole face.
The commander stopped again, “Coop’s senior on this still too. None of your ‘I’m older’ nonsense."
And there went the compliment. Skinny and old equaled haggard. I stood and walked past Coop without saying anything. I knew if I started talking, it would be with my hands.
I walked into my office and closed the door. Luce was staring at her open email on her computer screen. She didn’t look at me when she spoke, “Heard we’re going into deep cover?”
I nodded, “Have you seen the package?”
She laughed, “We won’t be briefed on it until we are in the air; you know the rules. No one knows, not even the pilot. The packages in the emails are for the moles. The commander always likes to play like we have moles.” Neither of us said that chances were, he was the mole.
I sighed and followed her to the car. She started it, glancing at me, “You okay?”
I shook my head, “No. I want to lie and say I am, but I’m not. I’m just not. School starts in a few weeks and my kids need a normal life. I need out of this. I need the emergency exit button.”
“He’s sending you to basic—you know that, right?”
I cringed, “He is an evil bastard, basic is like torture.”
She looked at me as she drove, “I loved basic.”
I gave her a deadpan stare, “I did too when I was a kid.“
She shrugged, “Hot guys everywhere. You can get laid at least.”
I nodded, “Yes, nothing like sleeping with guys who are a few years older than my son.”
She snorted, “Girl, you could teach them some things.”
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, how to make a perfect latte and tie skates really fast.”
“What’s up with you and Servario?”
I shook my head, “See you at Christmas, that’s it. That’s all I’ve gotten from him.”
“He’ll be around.”
I laughed bitterly, “I doubt that.”
Of course, I ate my words when we pulled up to her safe house to discover a gift at the front door. Luce got out of the car, pulling her gun and sneaking up to the mysterious box. She looked around as she used her foot to lift the lid on the small wrapped box. She started to laugh and pointed, “It’s for you.”
I climbed out of the car, frowning and nervous. She passed me the box as she opened the door.
My jaw dropped open when I saw the contents of it. A huge black dildo with a small card that read, “Think of me while you are back at basic, S!”
“He is good.”
I shook my head, “He is evil.”
She pointed, “You keeping that thing?”
I made a face, “What? No. I can buy my own vibrator.”
She snatched it out of the box, “Dang dude, I’ll take it. You just toss it in the dishwasher and bam, clean as a whistle.”
I made a mental note to never eat at her house as I closed the box and looked out onto the street. If Servario found us there, someone else could too. I would never have my safety back again.
Chapter Three
B is for Basic, Bitch, and Bottle of Wine
“How ya doing, champ?”
I imagined I was dreaming as I looked up from the infirmary bed, shaking my head, “Why are you here?”
“I missed you, and I have good news.” Leaning against the frame with his arms crossed, Coop couldn’t look more casual. He was sporting faded jeans and a baby-blue polo. He looked clean and fresh, like he’d showered ten minutes ago or just walked off the set of a photo shoot.
I looked down at my filth-covered fatigues and the dried throw up on my boots, sighing, “I’m never going to pass basic—ever. I’m dying. Doc says I have an ulcer. How awesome is that? I'm too old for all this stress and running and jumping and people shooting at me and lighting my shit on fire. I'm tired, Coop. I want to go back to my house with my new Breville coffee maker.”
The shit-eating grin crossing his lips was too much, “What’s that on your boot?”
I shuddered, “I threw up during a CrossFit session.”
He laughed and his blue eyes sparkled, “I sort of assumed you were going to throw up at least once first week. It’s week three, Evie. Come on. You can’t be throwing up week three.” He sat on the bed and rubbed my calf, "You're making the rest of us look bad to the newbies."
I shook my head, “Screw you, Coop.”
He laughed, “Can’t. We only have about seven minutes before the nurse gets back.”
I grinned, through the nausea, “That’s probably plenty of time for you. You’re what—sixteen?”
His hand slipped up my thigh, “I already told you, I got your stamina for you, baby.”
I laughed and burped, killing the laugh off as I shuddered from the taste.
He squeezed my leg, “I went and saw the kids yesterday.”
My head shot up, “Mine?”
He rolled his eyes, “No, the orphans I volunteer with every week. ‘Course your kids. Jesus.”
A smile broke across my lips, nausea be damned, “How were they?” My insides melted.
“Healthy, happy, strong, safe, but missing you. Your mom looks good. She rocks the hot older lady too, huh?” He winked.
I swung my puke-covered boot at him, “I’m not old.”
He laughed again, “Tell that to your aching back, baby.”
I sighed, “I’m never gonna be allowed to leave here. I’m never gonna see my kids. I hate this.” I felt like crying.
He climbed up the bed, lying beside me, “When I was in basic, I heard about a girl who ran the course faster than the boys in her troop. One guy tried to sabotage her and wrecked a rope in the climbs. She fell and broke her wrist and still ran it faster than the boys. You don’t remember what her name was, do you—I mean she was famous for it?”
I snuggled into the warmth, “The moments I hate you and want to stab you in the eye, are always the moments you redeem yourself.”
He put his arm out and wrapped it around me, “I’m a master at getting girls to love me.” He sighed, “Evie, you gotta be strong and get past this. You need to remember what it was like to be fearless.”
“Easy to say at fifteen. Common sense is the wisdom you get as you age. One day, sonny, you’ll be wise like me and you’ll know jumping from a pole you climbed, to a rope and swinging to a platform, is reckless. It’s something I would tell my kids not to do.”
His body shook as he chuckled at me, “Trust yourself. You coulda made the jump up that fence the other day. You coulda done it, but you didn’t trust your body.”
I looked up into his blue eyes. He was watching my training?
I didn’t trust my body so near to his. He was trouble and I’d had enough of that to last a lifetime. I cleared my throat, “I don’t get why the commander wanted me to come back to basic for three weeks. I’m dying.”
He stroked my head, “Yeah, I think that was why. You ran a
lot and did yoga. Not exactly what the military recommends for its agents.”
Still staring into his eyes, I noted they’d changed. They were dark and moody. I frowned, “What?”
He swallowed, “So that list…”
I nodded, “The one Roxy gave Servario on the plane?”
He looked sick, “We know some people on it.”
I waited. He looked nervous as he spoke, “Rather, you know someone on it.”
His eyes were filled with something—Jesus—was it sympathy? He felt sad for me? Was it my mom?
“Fitz is on it.”
My stomach curdled as I pulled back, “That isn’t even funny.”
He shook his head, “I’m being completely serious with you. Fitz is on the list. His real name. He's working with them, James and the bad guys.”
“What are we going to do? We can’t kill Fitz. He saved you.” My heart was beating a mile a minute, “He’s gay. He would never betray me. If you can trust anyone, it’s gay men. I swear to God. I was a beard in high school for a guy named Jason. Most trustworthy human being I ever met. My dad trusted Fitz more than anyone, more than he did my mother. When my father ‘fake’ died, my mother didn’t have power of attorney. Fitz did.”
He put a hand up, “Shhhh. Let me talk. Jesus. You’re worse than my mom.”
I smacked him lightly in the cheek, “Don’t shush me.” I wasn’t going to touch on the mom comment, but I couldn’t help myself, “That mom comment is going in the bank with the cougar comment, for later. You know, for when some bad guy has you chained to a wall and he’s about to break both your legs. You’ll give me a look, like ‘Save me, Evie’. And there will be an angel on my shoulder, with a cheetah-print dress on, and she’s gonna be smoking and chanting ‘Cougar, cougar, mommy cougar’.”
He pursed his lips at me, “Pshhh, how was training, Evie? You manage to do one pull-up yet? Yeah, I don’t see you getting the chance to save me.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
His funny look came back fast, “I meant, Fitz is probably up to something. He didn’t seem very retired to me. That jet seemed like it was his. Now he’s dead.” He put up the air quotations he had once done for my maternity leave. “But we all know he’s not dead. The plane crash is a lame and very old-school cover up. Servario vanishing from the ME’s office, after being poisoned, is the same. Your dad being shot in Mexico is the only one that seemed legit. The rest, I’m not buying.”